Hot Dog Store: Jimmy Your Way To A Jiggleween (Patreon)

THERE IS STILL TIME!

What are you supposed to be for Halloween? Wrong. You’re gonna be Jimmy Jiggles.

There’s still time to assemble the easiest costume in America: put on a Jimmy Jiggles Shirt and communicate exclusively in jiggles. Choose a classic shirt, women’s cut, or tanktop. If anyone says a T-shirt isn’t a costume, slowly jiggle until they reconsider the amount of evening they want to spend with you.

Cold night? Jimmy has a hoodie. Need to carry hot chocolate while standing motionless at the edge of someone’s porch light? Jimmy has a mug. He planned ahead. He knew this date would come.

And that’s just what we can legally show you outside the vault…

The vault completes the transformation with the Jimmy Jiggles Dad Hat and Jimmy Jiggles Bomber Jacket.

Put them on and become the guy from Drive if Hollywood wasn’t too scared to see our vision. This is where I’d photoshop Ryan Gosling in our merchandise but he asked me to stop doing that, so you are just going to have to use your imagination.