Colonel Failure

I offer you thanks in two stylistic modes, pick your favourite and embrace it. Option 1. The Oscar Winner. Wow! You really like what I do! All this hard work, it's been completely worth the tears, the long hours, the endless nights in cheap hotel rooms. When I started I never dreamed that one day someone like you would see the glimmer of the diamond in the rough that is my videomaking and choose to recognise me in this way. I'd like to thank herself for putting up with the time I spend alternately muttering, editing and complaining about the internet connection, my agent Mr Sparkles and of course you, the fans for whom I do all this.

Option 2. Going Kanye. With all due respect, I, Colonel Failure completely deserve this subsidy to my work. I am the defining YouTube video artist of this generation. I am Steven Spielberg, Mavis Beacon and Oscar Wilde embodied and you are all lucky to be part of aura of my majesty. (In all honesty, thanks for the support - I genuinely appreciate it.)