Unfinished Song-in-Progress: let me down (Patreon)

To be completely honest, I forgot this existed, but I'm glad I found it again.

I wrote this at the end of last year, so I don't consider it in the "vault" yet, but it definitely did take me a minute to remember what prompted me writing it 😅 But I don't need to think about that...

This does honestly feel a little bit topical for me right now. Much in the vain of "I'm Here", at the end of the day, I often feel drained and taken advantage of. I think I'm just so determined to fight the demon in my brain that says I'm not enough and that I'm in danger if I'm not meeting every need of everyone around me, that I am so often too willing to do anything for anyone. And to be understanding of everything from everyone. And to come to a place of acceptance with that understanding, so I allow it to keep happening.

But just because I understand the reasons someone has treated me poorly, doesn't make it okay 🤦‍♀️

I have gotten really good at letting people know when they've treated me poorly and having a conversation about it. Giving them the chance to explain, but also to understand. And from there we set boundaries and expectations for moving forward...but I am not always so great at maintaining and reinforcing those boundaries, or doing anything about them being crossed 😅🫠

And I think the second chance is the one that comes after the discussion, right? Like, hey I understand you probably didn't mean to hurt me, so now that we're on the same page, just like...maybe try not to hurt me like that again. That's the second chance...but I...am not good at stopping at the second chance 😅

I think to some degree, it's natural to want to try to make things work with people, to try to maintain relationships, to be understanding. But gosh dangit. At a certain point, you've gotta know when to stop. Because you deserve better than someone who is going to knowingly hurt you or take advantage of you. But if you keep forgiving the behaviour, why would they stop, I guess.

Anyway... that's what this is about.

Lyrics:

I don't know what a second chance is

'Cause I keep giving second chances, endlessly

And they all take advantage

And they let me down

Let me down

Let me down

Again...

(yes, repeating "let me down" multiple times was intentional...because I keep letting it happen 🤦‍♀️)