Unfinished Song Vault: Wasted Nights... (Patreon)

I somehow always have something that feels so relevant to how life has felt lately 😅

This is 100% something I wrote about all the times I am stuck in bed. Feeling frustrated that I am not there by choice this time 🙈

I love horizontal time. Just laying on the couch or in bed, bundled up in a cozy blanket, surrounded by pillows, a tea or hot chocolate and a bag of potato chips nearby. It's the best. That's probably when I feel the most relaxed at home, even if I'm still doing work 😅

But when it's not a choice, even if I would have chosen to spend my day that way anyway, it feels like a prison. And honestly, I think the prison I feel is my body, as opposed to the more worldly confinements. But somehow being stuck inside in bed, in addition to being stuck in this broken and ever-deteriorating body, feels like the worst part.

Because resting is not a waste of time. And relaxing is not a waste of time. That's necessary for our wellbeing. BUT being forced to do nothing when I could otherwise be doing anything else feels like a waste, even though I know it isn't.

So I lay in bed, stare at walls, feeling frustrated and sorry for myself, thinking of nothing in particular. And write songs, apparently 😂👍

To me, this one sounds very wistful/longing. And that feels appropriate 🤷‍♀️


Lyrics

Wasted nights

What ifs, if nots

Countless hours

Filled with senseless thoughts

I think it's also worth pointing out that I just yesterday described how I feel/behave when Myrna is struggling as being "Myrna drunk". The thoughts really do be senseless 🙈