Behind-the-Song: YOU SUCK. pt.1 (Patreon)

I truly do not know how much breaking down this song will need, but it'll be fun to find out 😅

Let's get one thing very clear: this is a song about my ex. No one else. Just my shitty narcissist ex. Okay? Ya GOONS 😂

Wrote another song about my trauma (whoops) / Maybe I should just cry to my mama / But I'm spilling the tea and I'm not gonna clean up / Maybe spread it around / I'll tell the whole town

I know I've talked about this a million times, but I fully wrote this song because I said the first line out loud to myself as I say on my bed after finishing the chord sheets for For Your Sins 😅 And as soon as it came out of my mouth I just thought "That. Would be HILARIOUS if I turned it into a song". So I did 😂

I fully just pulled out my phone, hit record, and ran with it. The first recordings for this song are so much more different from the final song than most of the initial recordings are. Some of them are embarrassing 🙈 but I will share them with you anyway. Because I think it's important to showcase that it's okay to write something silly and stupid. That going with the flow and chaotically winging it sometimes leads you where you need to be!

It's sometimes a long and ridiculously winding road to get to the final product. But at the very least, it's funny to look back on! Plus it can be fun to just experiment. To just sing what I've got that I like and see what rolls out after that.

That's honestly how a lot of my songs are written. I just don't usually record the whole process; I rarely record song pieces before I'm happy with how they sound. But I think that kind of takes some of the fun out of looking back. And who cares if it's silly? That's great! That's so entertaining! Plus, it so often ends up becoming something people actually like in the end anyway. So who cares how silly I sounded before I got there? I got there, didn't I? 💁‍♀️


So this started as just "alright, this is funny. What can I do with this?" Fully anticipating it becoming just another funny little 30 second bit and definitely not expecting for it to become an actual full fledged song 😅 And genuinely, "maybe I should just cry to my mama" is the next line exclusively because "mama" was the first thing I could think of that rhymed with "trauma" 🙈

The rest of it, though, feels really clever, even if it was originally unintentional. Because like...that's literally what the first line is about. I wrote a song about it. So I am quite literally telling everyone the "tea". Is it necessary to do so? Absolutely not. And I did actually heavily debate whether to share "For Your Sins" with anyone - I wrote it for me. To just process. But he can suck it, ya know? 💁‍♀️ (Also, again, I 100% wrote this song as a joke at first 😂)