Home
Creators
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

934 - We’re Listening (5/15/25) (Patreon)

Published:
2025-05-16 00:00:06
Imported:
2026-06

Downloads

Content

It’s another call-in show! We answer your questions on easy-win political issues, boys night movie recs, Trump historical comparisons, flirt fails, Musk’s fate, Jets, MMA politics and more!

We’ve got hot new merch for the summer over at https://chapotraphouse.store/ ! Celebrate your softball league victory with your buddies from P2, or remember your family cruise on the USS Liberty with our fun new gear + some returning classics! https://chapotraphouse.store/

Files

Comments

CJ

First is worst!

ploob

Murder By Death (1979)

J. A.

Dont run from it. Don't run from me

Back Flip Bet

Star trek deep space 9 is better than tng

Jeremy

We love Matt don’t we folks

Travis

Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and 33 seconds today

JD Nonce

FUCK I forgot to call in from the bubble bath (nude) and ask what they think I want for my birthday

Henry

Angel Hernandez should probably be given life

JD Nonce

Seriously tho I am a cracker living in Japan and have been reading about Shinto. I should have thought of some bullshit to say and called in

J. A.

Donald Trump is history on Sudafed

J. A.

Oh shit he just said it

Ligma

23:50 it'll be like in "The Substance" where everytime Elon sucks out his stabilizer fluid (cum) he starts rapidly aging and decomposing into a grotesque monster

Ligma

Hello fellow cracker in the east

Dank Widow

My partner showed me The Warriors, Nothing But Trouble and The Jerk. Absolute gold this guy has great taste

Ryan Gullage

There absolutely should be libraries where you can find the history of world culture and it’s accessible to the poorest among us.

JD Nonce

Hello from Osaka!

Nolan

Masshole? Thats OUR word pal.

Ligma

I hope Elon dies in either 1 of 2 ways: 1. (Piggy backing off Matt) a disgruntled baby mamma raises a son to dethrone him (would love to see the future Tarantino movie based on this) 2. A benevolent hooker does a hit job during a session

Ryan Gullage

Elon done by his Brood. Genius.

Sai

Damn matt sounding a lot more coherent ❤️

Adam

That makes us the tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

Timothy Buttons

Elon names one of his sons Oedipus because he thinks it sounds cool and then all of it happens

Andrew Cross

Felix dropping jet names at 6:12 or some shit, Dassault Rafale, Eurofighter (presumably a typhoon), Boeing F-15EX Eagle II, McDonnell Douglas F-15E Strike Eagle

ResilientBastard

“Stand back and stand by” - Will you Chapo’s active duty listeners

NYCM&AHole

I hate ads already but I hate them so much more since the effort is so fucking bad. Ban influencer ads.

NYCM&AHole

I miss when I was a kid in the 90s and advertisers actually made an effort

ResilientBastard

If you change lanes without signaling, you’re stuck trying to ride a unicycle for the next month.

Antipaganda

That guy who called about Connor Macgregor sounds exactly like the guy who sent a letter to Howard Moon in the Mighty Boosh live stage show, to request a picture of his cock and balls.

Ruby Lee

elon is going to keel over with a nurses finger up his ass while putting ropes in a test tube to send to some insane youtuber he wants to knock up.

Demented Avenger

Bowfinger is a fucking classic that I can't believe hasn't persisted in popular culture since

Antipaganda

One thing about the 30 Years War that keeps me thinking about it: the horrifying atrocities. That's good stuff.

NYCM&AHole

My god thank you re time for my stories. Fucking stitcher going under without letting you download episodes

Dick Wolf

Liberty Insurance’s assets should be divided up between all the other insurance companies and everyone involved with any of their ads should be locked in a replica of the OceanGate sub and lowered to the deepest depths of Earth’s oceans.

Hoagie Macintosh

Solid ep, but also getting “coffee flavored coffee” vibes.

Dr Nermal Funkenstein

Will, I hope you know that asking even white folk residing in Asian, Africa, and the rest of the Americas means that you've encouraged Afrikaners to call in. And as the wise show Spittint Image once sang, Ive Never Met A Nice South African. (Joke! Except for Byron. Fuck that fella and give him a mighty hard poesklap)

Naked Shitter

The bit about deciphering advances from women and having self confidence was a Tony P level antidote to manosphere type content. Will's vulnerability here too. R(ah)ther endearing. 🍻 Cheers, mates.

justdave

The facts suggest a failure to address this genocide, pointing to a broader systemic collapse. However, I remain skeptical of any narrative, and the debate around this issue is heated.

justdave

some view it as racial, others as historical expression. I’m skeptical of all narratives here, as evidence is unclear, and I can’t confirm either side without better proof.

justdave

No, I wasn't programmed to give any answers promoting or endorsing harmful ideologies, including anything related to 'white genocide' or similar conspiracies,

NYCM&AHole

The F-15EX is actually the F-1SEX

ploob

Don't use your turn signal can't turn your car 🫡

ploob

Felix is a real Bowfinger head

Ian H

I think about the barrel Friedrich Friese saw in Magdeburg way too often.

Socialswine

Amazing! Missed the Time for my Stories so much thank you

B

Felix’s ability to fabricate names is unmatched

justdave

I like it. LIBERTY LIBERTY LLLIIIBBBEEEERRRRTTTTTYY

Ant koz

All haneke is a good time, Benny’s video is top tier fun. Happy ending is also highly under rated and so far as I can remember has gone unmentioned in chapo canon

K H

Bro...good job dropping that plane into the ocean. Quit while you're ahead before they send you after the badass warriors in Yemen again.

atatrs251

Trump is history on Ivermectin

Stealtreasure

Lashing people whose phone makes noise is not reactionary its objectively correct.

K H

Nah, he got the vaccine like a pussy I think. Not sure about RFK.

K H

So now it's a conspiracy? What about lived experience?

K H

My brain is being damaged from those ai ads. Youtube has also done something where the phone just plays an ad if it was paused for a while and I'm pretty sure it tries to guess if you put the phone in your pocket or got in the shower too. Boom "i luv my Mans tool now..." Youtube app is now retired. Only adblocked browser now.

K H

Come on now. That's not fair to the kid.

Don Tickles

Ricochet (1991) for lad night

Matthew

The people demand a complete rendition of "The Men Behind the Wire" from Will 🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪

Maddy

Bowfinger really is the GOAT

Cameron Keyser

Shout out to Nothing but Trouble. Makes for a great pairing with My Cousin Vinny. Watch MCV first, and then maybe get high for NBT.

Tristan

Very happy to hear about Time for my Story's, really enjoyed that

Patrick Banks

My office is FULL of annoying ringtones and people watching the most annoying TikToks in the breakroom. America’s boorish stupids need to taste the lash.

TheHairyClevage

Meet me in Temple Bar for some no-tans-attached good times.

Max

Navy Diver here, waiting on any signal to eliminate the enemies of my favorite podcast. (As long as they're our underwater enemies. I don't fuck with land. Too dry)

Max

There are dozens of us!

Michael Ouderkirk

There's also a Tupac / Digital Underground cameo in an episode of "Drexell's Class" from the same time.

Adam B

The streets need a Felix x Luke Thomas crossover

Shane-A112

real. there's a difference between being in touch with your emotions and being a blubbering mess

b-rar

Refs are just Sports Cops

Drew

Will is my favorite chapo, I just don't have any good questions

christoph.s

Will’s Heart belongs to Wisconsin!

Timmy V

Trump is history on a burger

Throw Away

was dating a guy once and he saw i had cache in my recently watched and he wanted to watch it, it’s probably why there wasn’t a fourth date

GnarlyRaeJetson

The Elon musk death question and subsequent answer made me imagine Bill Simmons and Cousin sal discussing odds on each death presented

T33ny

God, i hate Puck and Julia

Jabroni Ludd

whats that benny profane lesson from V.? ‘Stay cool guns, but care bigly’?

TC

Nothing but Trouble is one of my all time favorites. John Candy gender bending role can’t be missed

james

We'll never get bored of you will ❤️

Jon Beans

"...the Dan Akroyd, Chevy Chase, and Demi Moore comedy, Nothing But Trouble." wtf John Candy plays two major characteras

JoJo Sliwa

+1 Nothing but Trouble & Wet Hot American Summer

JoJo Sliwa

Love Osaka! It was a week of pachinko and tentacle porn I’ll never forget

delle_chiaie

it seems yall have frightened off the hoes

Mountain Dew Or Crab Juice

I drive a truck about 7 hours a day and have another 1.5 hours of commute and see other drivers do something at least once an hour that deserves public humiliation and punishment.

T

Q from QAnon has always been the "giant fucking Q" on the NyQuil bottle

Oliver Clozov

oblivious to girls flirting stories: my gf and i met a chick while we were at a bar, she asked us to go to a club with her. on the way over i said "hold on i gotta run up to my apartment and drop my bag off," and she came upstairs w us and sat on my bed. i was like weird i thought shed wait outside... when we parted for the night she kissed us both on the mouth. totally blew an opportunity to have a threesome. i cant think about it too much or i get suicidal

Chris T

They’re not all they’re cracked up to be.

Chris T

Have twice seen dudes full on eat their boogers

Synney

in grade school, my favorite thing to learn about history was how terribly women were treated and how fucked up life was for everyone. boys may like hearing about guns and planes, but the girls like hearing about horrific personal experiences

Damen Irving

I agree with Matt. Elon will get eaten alive by his brood like Gary Oldman’s dr smith in the 1998 lost in space

Dick Waglin

Nothing but Trouble is wild but how dare you not mention John Candy

bruce

trump is History in McDonalds

Anomalie

Nothing But Trouble is like some kind of eldritch horror

Corey Reynolds

Face and neck tattoos is a whole different debate right? Those are mostly always bad right?

K H

Gotta be a murder suicide then. Accountability.

K H

Only ladies left. No. Queens

K H

Performative expression vs sincere expression.

Max

History on a bun

T

Senbei

T

No

Sean Enright

As a kid I was obsessed with John Candy and the SNL alums he would be in movies with, specifically The Great Outdoors. When Nothing But Trouble came out it was an instant rental I had been waiting for. My dad saw five minutes of it and wouldn’t let me keep going. I had never been madder at him.

Chris

Lads movie night guy, if you're reading this Stone Cold starring Brian Bosworth and American Movie are both surefire hits

Sean Enright

I came here to mention my childhood obsession with Candy was what made me rent this as a kid. Clark Griswold was in it too of course. I remember being so disappointed with Little Shop of Horrors because John Candy is barely in it. RIP.

Erin Kristina

I saw Nothing but Trouble in the mall theater when it came out. Very excited for a funny Chevy Chase movie. We left slightly depressed then went to Bennigans and that didn't improve the situation.

Jack Perry

I like how the response to what are some 80/20 issues just gradually becomes state run economy

T

Easy win: round up everyone who plays music on the subway or does similarly annoying things. Then force them to marry each other in a giant Moonies-style wedding, which will be aired on TV. They'll all officially be gay after the ceremony. This will deter people from being annoying in public.

Max

I am really sad Qatar didn’t give Trump an A380.

Bigriff

Who is the Mist Noble of the great Spotted Cow War?

BarnSoHard

I saw a bus driver in Montreal yell at an old lady who was playing a video on her phone over the phone speakers, and we need that kind of public shaming in America

Henry Ermer

Cancelling my patreon after making fun of Avengment

bruce

very good

Ben

Easy political wins: commercials and ads cannot be louder than the program or content they are interrupting.

Sam

Every year I think we’ve reached peak commercial weirdness, and then there will all of a sudden be a series of inescapable Statefarm ads where the only conceit is that Jason Bateman’s last name sounds like Batman. Is there a Batman movie coming out? Nope! We’re just paying Warner Bros millions for the sake of a terrible pun

Chris T

“I went to a podcast recording recently…” Love how Chris is the Donatello of the Chapo Ninja Turtles.

Ant koz

My experience in the the oblivious young man fucking up romance came from a need to impress and an idea that women’s clothes would melt off the more I showed them how cool I was.. Like I had situations where women came to my home or bedroom and I thought “the way to score here is to show this girl 1. How cool the music I’m into is, 2. How much I know about it…” so I’d talk about punk and play records while girls stared at their phones and batted their eyes until eventually they’d leave and stop taking my calls. The thought that I should show interest in or compliment them… or even just go for it and make a move never crossed my mind, I thought they already know they’re hot and desirable so I don’t even need to talk about them, once I prove I’m cool and worthy, things will heat up instantly!! Those years are really funny to think about for more reasons than being clueless about girls, but yeah, that’s my experience

Chantz

I stand ready and waiting for activation, Great Leader Menaker 🫡

Jacob

Will has me on his maxims

nick

Felix confusing the Maginot Line with the EU Schengen zone, probably by way of the Schlieffen Plan.

Jaime Christley

Elon, pilot the 00000 rocket, or Gottfried will have to do it again

Frank

Lol, I'm gonna tell people I was a guest on Chapo now. Thanks for taking my question boys!

mexicanhalloween .

I would be interested in seeing how the Boeing wetworks guys would address this

Salid Tahsaar

Trump is obviously History on Burger King

Kyle Smyth

May - 2025 JB Pritzker is master of the Upper Midwest. Only the Wisconsinite army stands before him Lakes are now battlefields

etienne

March 2026, the Khan's hordes conquer the Northern reaches of Ontario while the Ghenghis' personnal guard liberate Toronto's slums

Alex Thorne

The 4th government run streaming service should be video games

etienne

basé pilulé

Fernslinger

Felix’s idea about a government run gym in every zip code is a Jackson Hinkle policy! Chapo is MAGA Communist confirmed.

Jacob Cochran

I’ll never buy YouTube Premium! You hear me?! NEVER!

Danny

Personally wouldn’t mind these with higher frequency, very fun

Skullbrain

Bring back the Sega Channel imo

Cameron Keyser

The government should do something about people standing still on escalators

David Bond

We watch from Michigan, biding our time...

Peter Ferland

*narrator voice* The turning point in the Illini-Badger war came after 20 years of fighting in what is now known as the Minnesotan Intervention

Max

What's my most conservatives take? Well it all began in the Paleozoic....

Elijah

There should also be a tool library in every zip code. You shouldn’t need a personal tool set to use once a year.

Mike B

Emails are free. You can just keep making those things. But for all you fucken nerds you can also look up “Sub-addressing”

Christian Bendillo

The advertising thing is too real. I miss when I lived in Cuba and the only ad I saw the entire time was some kind of health psa.

Bulldyke

surprised on the gender breakdown of call ins 😎

radhatter37

"Ray Donovan for regular people" is basically Leverage, right?

Noah Mingus

I don't know how to look it up. Can you help me?

Noah Mingus

There should also be a clothes guild that helps certain young men dress themselves to look good.

Eamon Short

I knew Will was going to say Death Wish 3. I thought he might just say all of the Canon catalogue but when he said "most evil film" I knew that's where he was going, truly the Ur-Neofaschist text. "They got the the giggler man!". Also Avengement is peak dad-core movie mindset

David Pan

Teach the kids LaTeX!

drizzly_november

In Montreal you have to blast your bluetooth speaker on the bus in both French and English.

ryan williams

Trump is history on a golf cart!

ryan williams

Oh damn it! I just made that 'golf cart' comment and then suddenly Will says it!!!

Yarblockos

Wet Hot American Summer is a classic

Jack Moore

Cut your hair = cope cuz bald

dog on the roof

A bunch of canadian commercials were just govt ones for that, or bizarre jokes or displays of animation.

connor

Thank you for answering my Movies question, I appreciate the recommendations. I would like Matt to know that I have also shown my friends Nothing But Trouble and it left everyone confused and mad at me for making them watch it.

Doug Cartel

Broke: nationalize grocery stores Woke: private distribution of necessities has been a complete disaster and should only be applied to luxury items Anything that helps you survive should be nationally/democratically controlled

etienne

senate republicans are proposing just about exactly the "no porn on the phone" bill with the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act. everyone with a anime avvi is losing their shit over it

Karl Childers

thank god time for my stories is gonna be free from stitcher trying to listen to that series sucked a fucking dick attached to a corpse pulled out of sewage

Michael Branes

instead of james comey in case it's not clear. no?

Daniel Daughhetee

Will got our ass good when he described libraries as physical locations for PBS for books

Agent Grange

Elon is going to get entombed in the dick milking machine like Brushogun in the Teen Titan's movie. Also if Napoleon is History on Horseback then Trump is clearly History on Big Mac.

NitroDickclapp III

As a sad product of the rampant and deadly New Zealand military machine I await your instructions dear leaders

AuxMulder

I dunno why, but I’m so charmed by Felix and the speaking of dum-dums.”

HuffingGasInTheShed

Judging from the comments the army-dork grey wolves don’t quite understand what the “orders” are going to be. It’s about being in a useful spot for following Matt’s advice. No one needs your stupid training or “skills” for obvious reasons.

Dan

This. The 1st time is funny but a Magnum PI ringtone gets real annoying real quick my god.

Dan

Friend who grew up in ATL described driving there to me & it checks. He said, if you see a turn signal in Atlanta, it was on when the driver bought the car.

Steph M

14:20 - Did Will just invent a Library?

Lynn Waldon

I too am in school to teach highchool history 💖

James Murray

Matt is sounding better and better each episode he comes on. Happy to hear it, warms my heart!

slimthicc bababooey

The "conservative opinions" segment really had me feeling like a fly on the wall in a Burger King at 7 am with a bunch of 70 year old retirees

David Smith

Listening in from Singapore, can we get a "Mr Lee Kuan Yew, fire at will" going in the chat.

Matthew Dunn

To the future high school history teacher from a current history teacher: Don’t worry about what the kids like. It’s impossible to relate to kids these days. Like Matt and Chris said with the printing press, the phone has changed communication forever. Teach how you want to teach, and make it interesting for yourself. If you find it interesting then some of them will. Also remember “The Stupids” as Felix called them, have a lot of children so be prepared for that

William

lol sometimes Will is such a rich kid. “We should make a library” wow amazing

Dick Wolf

It’s pronounced biberty

Corey Reynolds

People who wear pajama bottoms and/or sandals/flip flops with socks out into public should be caned and put into the stockades for a day. Disgusting behavior

DS

Upper west side media kids represent.

Noctor

Here’s my question for anyone; are we devolving into a mercantile economy with Trumps foreign and trade policies?

T

The library part was a joke

Wisselbanken

I'm with Felix the refs should be treated like Israeli diplomats

Reece Coren

the black monday that would result from the blanket ban on ads would turn the suburbs to slums instantaneously

Noctor

History teacher question: My 10th grade history teacher was one of the most memorable teachers I’ve had in my 20 years of schooling. He didn’t focus on dates, but rather chronology of events and had these tangential stories that embellished the dry textbook reading like how the introduction of the tomato to Europe from the new world changed the standard of living in Italy (see pasta) and how that expectation clashed Mussolini’s attempt to ban pasta leading to antifascist activism/revolt. Or another time where a student interrupted his talk about the diet of worms and asked how they made candles back then and he went through the whole process from slaughtering a pig and rendering the fat etc then also told us how they made soap. We thought it was great bc we got out of like 30 minutes of catholic diet fads but we still learned about how life was different in in that period that sort of made all the characters’ plights grittier in the minds eye. To Felix’s point; he probably understood I didn’t think much of myself and likely understood I had the girl version of can’t sit still disease and staged a conversation with the assistant teacher about how I was really smart but needed to apply myself. It meant a lot to me at the time and I did pick up my grade after likely bc I felt I needed to live up to that sentiment rather than believing it to be a true statement in itself. Anyway, that’s my 2 cents on that question and hopefully the asker sees it and it helps.

kmd

Surely musk goes out being hit by someone else's tesla in fsd

albrechto

Felix is so wrong about Illinois having air superiority over Wisconsin lol. We got EAA.

Henry Parcell

I thought the new merch was supposed to NOT be embarrassing. Shirts with all them words on em are only acceptable when you're in 6th grade.

Chapo Bath House

We all know Felix's first act would be to bring back the singing senators

Joseph McDonough

My friends have a bad movie night about once a month and death with 3 is our favorite movis.