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676 - Agony Uncles (11/1/22) (Patreon)

Published:
2022-11-02 01:50:50
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

It’s the end of another tour, so we’re once again turning to the phone lines for a Chapo call-in show. So, thanks for the questions, enjoy the answers. And a special thanks to everyone who came out to these live shows, they were some of our best ever.

We’ll probably do more calls in the future now that we have an easy method for cataloguing and searching calls, so feel free to send in more under-30-second audio recording questions to calls@chapotraphouse.com

Files

Comments

Alec

No, I’M gay.

kenton

Ayyyy yous guys we got a couple a gay guys here!

CJ

Hey you guys here for gay guy meet up?

orc

cool for people who live in big cities I guess

features creatures

Weird. I am also gay. Hey Chapo go on the Adam Friedland show. The latest in center left politics.

Isaac Jones

If you didnt answer my question where I try to mimic one of felix's Twitter riffs I will immediately start replying to Glenn greenwald instead

Elephants On Coke

Two books about China: Mao's China and After - Maurice Meisner Ten Lessons in Modern Chinese History - Zhang Yangwen

Clint Pelvis

girl god more like bull shit

Major bit me

Tf is this I thought chapo was finally nationalized and these weirdos were frozen and stashed away in a closet for a few decades

Declan Kennedy

Was fully expecting a two hour deep dive on the Paul Pelosi scandal, but this slop will just have to do.

Matt Maddox

What is the GenZ version of MST3K that Felix was talking about?

Alexandr

I don't read but are either of those about how China rules? If not, lol. If so good.

Scot Forsythe

Gotta thank you for big laughs outta the gate with the whole 3 greatest minds bit😅🤣🥳

Harry P. Ness

Camping With Steve x Chapo confirmed

dfumps

I used to think everyone wanted to kill and eat me like a Christmas turkey when I got high And now I’m high every day at work You can do it too!

Gurjot

What's the Chinese newspaper Felix was talking about? I would love to follow that.

zach

Do a movie episode about Grizzly Man by Werner Herzog

Alan Fulcher

Which Elder Scrolls race would be the best at basketball?

Null_null

Miami gives me post-nasal drip, too.

Zach Pierce

I’m not paying you guys to chill in Miami when we have this attempted murder to discuss! I will now be moving my family into MAGA country.

Besand

autoplay on YouTube is evil. Mankind can no longer start a video, get up to grab something tasty from the kitchen while the ad is playing, then come back to start video when you’re ready. No. A new video has now started, so the only way to get back to intended video is to click the back button, now you gotta wait through another fucking ad

Zach Pierce

So you can’t watch BRAVEHEART without subtitles, got it.

parker

Are you literally shaggy

James Murray

~5:30 timestamp - chapo trans house

Osborne MOCs

Don't say Redguard, don't say Redguard, don't say Redguard

justdave

You guys should just say you're black, that's what I do

Besand

@ChinaDaily is one of those

William O'Reilly

Matt's criticism of the Canadian accent is projection from a self-conscious Wisconsinite.

Jessica S

Ask Pepe Escobar on!

Des Mosome

Chapo. They call them dry. They were hasbeens. Episode 675. The worst. We don’t talk about 675. Now it’s Blood Meridian. Can you believe it folks? I’ve never seen a stable genius read a book. They can’t make a movie of it. If I shot some one in the street and they put it in a book no one would know. Hell or High Water. It’s a movie. Like the Blood Meridian. But it’s better because it’s a movie. Great movie. Not a book. Huge.

justdave

Felix, in ancient times, people thought of bears as equal to people. They would have names and would be welcomed into people's homes- this sounds crazy but it's totally true- they were basically inlaws, just showing up and making the kids laugh, eaten all the food, then leave

David Browm

Honestly interesting point on violence in America. If we aren't going to do anything to stop school shootings, can we at least encourage them to aim elsewhere? Taking out a healthcare industry boardroom will amount the same outcome for the shooter, but they would be a hero! Caladan has Sea and Air Power. Arrakis has Desert Power. The US needs to harness our Spree Shooter Power.

kallampero

To gumworldwide, and anyone else either possessing that same question or interested in its many answers, I have my own few pieces of advice to offer. As someone who, in 2020, gave only very cautious daylight to my deeply buried and heavily guarded hope for the world -- only to watch it slowly bleed to death in high definition -- despair is something more familiar to me than I ever wished or thought it could be. It has taken the form an increase in risky behaviors inversely proportionate to the decrease in interest in my life being long, if this is what life is now (and will continue to be). I can think of a few things that have not kept me alive, but have made me want to keep myself alive; an important distinction. 1. Love. Whatever this looks and feels like to you, however you define it, however much of it is available to you, go toward it, and remove whatever might obstruct your path from same. If you don't know what love is or how to look for it, ask someone close to you who does. If you have no one close to you, find therapy and tell them this. Helping people learn to understand, access, appreciate, encourage and repair love is what (good) therapists do, and well people need them every bit as much as unwell people. 2. Read The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts, and listen to Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie by Bob Dylan. 3. Unplug. It seems like one of the only radical acts left in 2022 is going offline. Time On Device is being maximized by behavioral psychologists and neuromarketers whose last major client was the casino industry. A good chunk of the 1% send their kids to schools without computers, prohibit smartphones, and otherwise de-devicie-ify their young lives. If we're lucky, we're going to look back at some point and see an ocean of psychic civilizational damage that was done by mixing capitalism and screens. This is an easily identifiable bullet we can all attempt to dodge. 4. Find the others. The only thing more miserable than misery is misery surrounded by those who can't or won't understand it. Find the others, and find them in person, and do so routinely. They exist, in diasporic droves, and they need you as much as you need them. 5. Weep. All the same advice for love applies here. Grief is an incredibly important part of life, particularly a life which requires a lot of grieving. Dominant culture encourages the avoidance of grief, much like the avoidance of death, from references to them to the phenomena themselves and everything in between. Confront your grief, and grieve. If crying isn't good for a person, it's because they do too much of it, not too little, and the vast majority of us -- myself included -- do it too little. I hope you find strength and peace. Solidarity Forever.

Khemith

But then the bears had to leave and change their name from Bernstien to Berenstien.

The Other Lauren

thanks for the shoutout to us transes, the clowning on Rod's very normal opinions on the topic has always been a favorite of mine

Patrick

😭😂😂😂😂

NYCM&AHole

Man imagine the WH press core if you had the dr evil chairs to the furnace buttons

S Agsar

They can't keep getting away with this!

Aaron Baer

Roll in your slop piggy and squeal like the rest of us !!!

George Lochinski

Thanks based Will for speaking the 'AllMoviesEver' website into existence

Memory Erasing

as one of the black listeners of chapo - y'all are a white boy podcast, it's ok, it's actually kind of one of the things I enjoy about the show lol, y'all are good examples of white people. plus i think Matt Christman super understands the racial element of American Politics and Felix and Will probably don't think about race that much but that's an objectively good trait for white people to have

AbeLinkin

More like BraveSHART

stinkface

Sun bears underappreciated

Memory Erasing

also i agree with felix. the core three are why i tune in. i usually like the guests but i just enjoy the core three and would actually like more just felix/will/matt episodes. "will gaming come back?" like, lol let's talk about shit like that

Tristan K. Husby

The soup story Felix mentioned is George and Martha, the Soup. It’s actually pea soup and George pours it in his loafers. George and Martha are platonic neighbors.

Seb

I’m curious as to what Felix meant by “the gen z equivalent of MST3K.” Anybody have an idea?

sanderbling

Will. For the Love of Fuck the second "T" in Toronto is silent. It's pronounced "Tuh-ronno". Felix said it right.

Michael

China's good, porn is just video sex trafficking, and there should be no guests on this show ever except maybe Katherine. Thank you, have a nice day.

AbeLinkin

Classic Felix-ism noted at 29:50. Definitely heard “Latin-schizophrenia” and was picturing either that everyone has a bit of Latina in them that gets unleashed or that everyone knows how to recite In Catilinam verbatim… then I realized that it was just Felix and his adorably strange pronunciation of “latent.” Right up there with “wanton” and “alien.” Well done, Felix. Guess that’s what happens when you learn words from reading rather than speech. Don’t read, folks. Dangerous stuff.

Ol-Dirty-BAStart

The first caller, climate change guy, sounds like the meth head at Jesse Pinkman's party, ranting about being pushed through a chainlink fence

Mike Lilly

Did Joe Pera call in?

William

Veal crate nazis

Null_null

Massive cope on Gen Z Nazis. They have access to weapons and embrace grindset culture. Millennials and Gen Z RWs organize better, shoot better, and are in better shape generally than their LW opponents. Running from that fact does not help.

Null_null

Agree with Felix’s answer to this question though.

Gothnik

Felix is really spot on about bears. Some bear limb bones look similar to human bones. They can stand upright and are omnivores like us. They are basically dog apes.

Brendan A. MacWade

What the hell is up with all the UK, Australian and New Zealand listeners? You have functioning nations (well, a few of you do). Why do listen to a bunch of leftist dirtbag jewbros in the sinkling, burning US empire?

etienne

average amerifat understanding of other country politics

MLVF

Will has got that classic south beach stuffy nose

Adam Hauck

You know Black Bears are the best bear because UMaine named their mascot “Bananas” - how terrifying can they be?

Logan

Seventy first

Demented Avenger

Moving the US capital to Buffalo will stave off the US invasion of Canada because Buffalo is the most boring city on Earth. It's even more boring than Edmonton. The whole US government will collapse because the leaders will fall asleep and die because Buffalo.

The Woke Chud

Immediately shilling out 1K/month for a full coverage episode on Mind of JSON

Big Creasy

Will is spot on about Belladonna ngl

TangiePower

Felix gives the best practical advice for not going insane on the internet, bravo

grimbo

LoL bob dylan

Matt Pasker

Awesome bears question to Felix. I went to Katmai National Park in Alaska and brown bears are incredibly guy like. I personally saw a few just sitting on the ground looking out into the distance essentially vibing. They are beautiful animals.

grimbo

Left Wing Zingers need to take up Judo. Immediately.

Daniel

This was a cozy ep thanks fellas. Also, 100% willing to double my patreon subscription to get 10-15 mins of loose animal discussion led by chief zoologist Felix every episode. Unparalleled animal takes every time it comes up on the show

Doug Cartel

the very fact that genZs are posting groypers is proof enough that they would be reduced to blubbering babies if they even so much as heard a drone strike

Null_null

I liked how sincere a lot of this episode was. It was a nice change of pace. Irony is not going to save anyone.

zach

i would also be very scared of a drone strike

Doug Cartel

oh yeah the austro hungarian king had a train fitted with belt-fed machine guns and all he used it for was riding through the countryside blasting animals

etienne

I scientifically calculated that post-pandemic more than 60% of eps contains only the dry boys talking about topical news events. is that too much or not enough or about right. in your opinion

Matt James Rich

For a long time I only saw Youtube as a website to listen to music (as long as I had adblock) but I agree with Felix now. There is some good longform content. I like Jay Foreman's videos.

Justin C

This was a great format for you guys.

Ryan Ford

Really appreciated the non-ironic and candid takes about life, political struggle, eating pussy, et al. Surprisingly uplifting. Needed that, thanks gents.

Jim McKenna

I really like this episode. Informative, open, and honest. I hope they do more. and it’s nice to see some of my own thoughts and questions reflected in the questions of my fellow listeners. And yeah guys, you got to eat that pussy and you got to eat it right.

J. A.

Justin

Ian H

So I just managed to look up that crying admiral story they mention, a couple details were different. It was Admiral Halsey at the Battle of Leyte Gulf, and the bumper text was "the world wonders". In addition to cursing, throwing his hat and sobbing on the bridge, Adm. Halsey also petulantly refused to turn his fleet around to assist in the main battle for an hour afterwards, almost certainly causing hundreds of additional casualties.

etienne

"anglo canada has no culture" WRONG. they have an intricate traditional art form based on being annoying about pronounciation. it's UNESCO heritage designated

cwen

Will, how many Big Macs can you eat in one sitting?

Scott

@matt so cool to learn that Germany should have won WWII when’s the book coming out? :)

Scott

“Won”

Scott

You can’t read

Jonathan G

FYI: Felix says aliens in this.

Dan

The distinction between Eastern-Canadian pronunciation and American Great Lakes English isn't a wide linguistic gulf. Most of you cheeseheads sound like you could be from Ontario.

Dan

BTW, for international listeners, there isn't one singular Canadian accent. The regional variations in Canadian English aren't as dramatic as you would find in the UK for example, and homogenizing factors ( mass media, education, urbanization) are making regional peculiarities less pronounced. Still, if you had to group Canadian accents generally, the different families of accent would probably be: Ontario, the Prairies, Quebecois/Canadian francophone, the Maritimes/Atlantic Canada, Canadian Aboriginal English, and BC/Pacific North-West. In Canadian French, there is also a major difference in pronunciation between Quebecois and Acadian French, as well as a different regional lexicon of words. Each Canadian accent also has a rural and urban variant, a blue collar and white collar variant, and distinctive corresponding regional slang not found in adjacent provinces.

Max Headroom

Yeah, no shitposting Sigma Male memes does not qualify as "grindset"

Null_null

There are definitely terminally online right wing guys cosplaying as gigachads or whatever. But your average Chapo listener gets his ass kicked head to head with a Proud Boy 100 times out of 100. I’m speaking as a fat pussy piece of shit btw. Not judging anyone. Just think maybe it’s more motivating for people if they know their enemy is stronger and better organized and ready to kill them.

Jason Yungbluth

I am 3/4 of the way through The Dark Forest, and literally had to plug my ears listening to this episode :0

CR

Wonderful vibe, probably my favorite call/write-in ep you’ve ever done

etienne

call it the "North American Tour" as a nod to the canadians who use this expression to mean "the US and also us too"

etienne

I think the killer app of youtube is that they have a really good monetization model. I see video essay/yt documentaries as basically an evolved form of blogging, but blogs never had a coherent platform to actually make money off of it. They had google adwords, which at some point was fine to pay out a bit more than the hosting costs, for some people, but there was never a centralized model that could pick up a given article, blast it to millions of people, and get institutional big money advertisers to pay a lot of money on them. youtube has to be the first social media that managed to grow a core of pro creators and a strata of "middle class" pro-ams who have a credible shot at living off of it. not that it's great or anything but it's at least a credible promise to people, that they can make it there.

J.P. McD.

Yea I wish Chapo, a podcast, would have the correct opinion on this so that we could organize an effective militia in resistance.

J.P. McD.

My friend who’s never listened to an episode said Limmy wouldn’t go on Chapo

J.P. McD.

Thank you to everyone

kenton

Fine, have it your way. *Ahem* ORCS

Null_null

All I said is it's not helpful. If you're ever in the streets with these people--even if you're at peaceful protest or counter demonstration to one of their meetups--it would help for you to be aware that they can beat you to death with their bare hands and the cops won't do anything to help you because they're all on the same team. That's your situation to deal with, for better or worse. I don't look to Chapo for solutions or organizing or anything like that, but I know many people look to them for analysis and modes of thinking about the problems facing the left. If you can't properly describe a problem or misidentify it some way, that's a failure even for a podcast. I'm sorry to go Reddit brain on you. But I wanna be clear, I'm not one of these people asking the Chapos to save the world and go to every picket line in the country and interview every person unionizing their local cat cafe. I think those people are as delusional as you do.

Eric Wiley

Jaw dropped when I heard there were a lot of calls about Blood Meridian as I was thinking of calling about it myself! Guess there’s no better figurehead for the current times than the Judge, please please do a reading series on this. Shoutout to fellow McCarthy heads out there, looking forward to The Passenger!!

Baron

Lmao at Felix’s throat closing up as he tries to run that bit about getting guests as hard work

Nick

Is this not on Overcast? Or just me?

Yaoitopia

Can someone link me that Chinese news site they're talking about?

Gordon Schmidt

Matt's getting his history mixed up. The Admiral was Halsey, but it was at Leyte Gulf, not Midway. The situation was thus: in 1944, the Japanese were trying to defend the Philippine Islands. Part of the American invasion plan was to attack an island called Samar. A Japanese fleet led by Admiral Ozawa was meant to act as a decoy, and Halsey fell for it and chased the fleet north with his fast, powerful carriers and battleships. This meant that the invasion force was defended only by destroyers and destroyer escorts, modern ships but quite small, and escort carriers, which were basically flight decks welded to cargo ships. They were attacked by a powerful Japanese surface fleet led by Admiral Kurita- it included several heavy cruisers, as well as the superbattleship Yamato. The US escort was hopelessly outgunned, but a combination of tenacious defense by the smaller US ships, and the fact that Kurita didn't know Ozawa's efforts had succeeded and thought he was facing a much larger fleet, prevented the battle from being a disaster for the US. Though the US Navy lost many ships, the bulk of the invasion force was saved, and the Japanese suffered significant casualties as well, losing three heavy cruisers. Meanwhile, Halsey was chasing Ozawa when he received a message from Admiral Nimitz. The message was simply a request for his location, as Nimitz had just received word that the invasion force was fighting for its life off Samar, but the gibberish quote led to the message reading "Where is, repeat, where is Task Force Thirty Four? The world wonders."

Jessica S

Chris is right, the classic kids books are the best. Contemporary ones occasionally have hits but usually they are ham-handed morals or written by the Chelsea Clintons of the world. Goodnight Moon (and Goodnight Gorilla) all the way.

Jessica S

I forgot to add, Richard Scarry 100%. My son poured over those illustrations for hours before he could read. We loved looking for Goldbug. Lowly’s the best.

Brandon

Shoutout to the scotties!!! Took a quarter of my motherland and then act like its theirs!!! Good looks! And then the south! So good!

Brandon

What if thats part of the bit 🧐

Brandon

Dude i canr fucking wait for the “good game. good game.” End to the China America war after General Gallagher gives his unconditional surrender

orc

Wow felix encouraging people to be an article head disgusting

etienne

I'm just about to buy tickets for TrueAnon live in Montreal. Let's go boys.

etienne

I spent some time at a friend's in the countryside who grows a couple personal backyard weed plants and we smoked a huge blunt of crisp, fresh dried leaves, and got barely high, and that was probably my favourite weed experience ever.

Robert Calcagno

That Joker was a 1000% Gianni holy shit that was amazing.

SF

uh huh that’s nice

blackFFillip

this one is pretty okay, but Chris talks

Boaz Corey

Spelling out the alphabet backwards has always worked for me. Always.

Memory Erasing

gimme that 80% but mix it up from just topical news to random shit about video games and stuff like that

THEKILLERWHALE

Were you the really stoned guy or the kind've stoned guy?

Clint Pelvis

pretty sure fexil has shoehorned ally-ins into the last seven eps 🤷‍♂️

Derwood

Just finished Blood Meridian a couple weeks ago. My new favorite book. Gonna go through all Cormac’s stuff. I would kill to hear an episode about it, think that would be incredible.

Poppy Chulo

Child of God is really good. Try that next

Derwood

I’m doing The Road currently, but have already bought Child of God and All the Pretty Horses so those will be next

Derwood

I was just inspired to read Blood Meridian after listening to a lot of Billy Woods songs. One of them has a reading from Meridian at the end and I was like, damn I gotta read whatever that was. Incredible book. Got so excited when Will mentioned it

Jon

Will was very zen in this one

Elliot Matheny

The Road and No Country are both crackling reads.

Elliot Matheny

Well, YT is a decent way to earn up to the point that the content creator covers anything outside of acceptable CIA talking points.

Jack

Scorpy's VHS VIEWINGZ is my guess

Terrance McDonald

Felix saying he was going to “drive the clit insane” often pops into my head and makes me laugh.

Derwood

I watch this guy Steve Wallis on YouTube whose whole deal is “stealth camping” and just camping in weird ways. Love that shit, totally agree with Felix and Chris here

Bond_Vigilante

The more free time and resources that you have, the more dangerous the underclass becomes to the state. The 60s and early 70s the were moment that labor had the highest share of national revenue compared to capital. This is not the case today.

Chad Foster

Camping with Steve rules, the most Canadian guy ever

MKatieUltra

Those books freaked me out as a kid because my dad is a George and he had a friend named Martha

Dan

Would love an ep on leftist grifters as a whole. Don’t name names, but there are some real patterns to people who are just nasty worthless, terminally online. Would be hard not to name names I guess.

Rxk Lenderman

I don’t know much about New Zealand and Australia, but the UK is also a dying neoliberal former empire experiencing capital ripping the copper wire out of the state. The UK-US leftist camaraderie is real

Jon Spiegler

Thing is this is a great format

Dies Irae63

Don’t know anything about China, India, Asia in general, Africa, south and Central America, Cuba, etc. BUT…pussy, shitty American movies, shitty American tv shows, pussy, frat boy liberal indulgences (but hey, we’re not liberals), yeah, no, I’m Felix therefore my ignorant non-sequitors are hilarious, pussy…come on Matt Christman, sure it’s a money spinner,but you can do much, much better than this.

Dies Irae63

Yes. Could give them a history lesson.

Dies Irae63

Americans dude. From an outsiders perspective, there’s this level of self-obsession that is nauseating. Your empire is crumbling, these guys are smart enough to know it, but there’s not much will to examine what’s actually going on and what it means for the working class internationally. There are tectonic economic movements happening which may lay the foundations for a cooperative, if not socialist bloc, independent of US dollar hegemony. Rather than explore the historical shift, there’s this tendency for doom-irony navel gazing. Matt’s US history shows are great. Some Chapo guests are really smart and informed and there’s occasionally excellent programs. But all this lifestyle advice, sniping at minor celebs, narcissistic preening (Felix) etc. is such a waste. When Matt does Marxist analysis he’s sharp and sometimes very funny. More of that, less video game shit. Oh , and pussy. Fuck me, teenager bantz.

nadia

ayyy huge fan of woods and mccarthy! blood meridian is next on my list and every mention gets me so hype.

Roy

shut up nerd

Gage

Why does amber sound like that..?

teacup

This is not a news show... sounds like you're mad they're not being "good" progressives, but they never promise that, they're just making the satirical content they want to produce

YukiNukem64x

Dude/dudette, it's a podcast. If you expect politics you went to the wrong place, it's mostly just entertainment. Some losers and revisionists banding together to fight for their own interests doesn't make a socialist bloc sorry bro. Oh and I skip the Matt history eps (just not my kind of thing) , now with seeing your post here I can retroactively justify it being your fault David.

Dies Irae63

Yeah, stay away from history. That stuff’ll kill ya.

Dies Irae63

“Good” progressives can eat my organic, single-origin shorts. I guess it’s like Chekhov: if a shark appears in act one, someone’s gonna jump it before the curtain comes down. But I take your point. It’s essentially drive-time radio for less gullible hipsters. Always gonna be hit and miss and occasionally it’s very funny.

Dies Irae63

Algebra. Library. Grrrrr!

Dan

In Alberta, it is pronounced Tor-on-to as well.