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Hell on Earth: Episode 7 - HELL (Patreon)

Published:
2023-02-22 12:01:00
Edited:
2025-08-19 18:36:23
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Downloads

Content

The apocalyptic effects of years of war on the population transform central Europe into Hell on Earth.

Interactive atlas, bibliography and credits for the series can be found at: hellonearth.chapotraphouse.com

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Comments

Dee Haytch

Hoping Loudun gets a mention🤞🤞🤞

Xander Norris

Beer George just tryna vibe bro one of the most open minded individuals

Mia

amazing ep!! also, for my traumatised girlies: there's a lot of extremely violent rape in this one, skip 0:39 - 0:45 if you want to miss the worst of it.

Abernathy

“Too clever to be happy, not clever enough to be successful” story of my life

NYCM&AHole

This episode is so Metal. Also brandmeister literally means fire/blaze master

NYCM&AHole

Is that what the US Afghanistan ambassador meant?

carl

finally--HELL

MC Prescott

They did it folks, they made geohell

Mitch H.

Hell, the place we're all going to shortly

Walking Bones

That reading from Simplicissimus, holy hell

T

So "Brandon" means "flame on"...

jick

anyone else think of the matt berry's brother from snuff box any time someone says "france & spain"?

Karate-Robo Brian Dennehy

Anyone else hear these stories about marauding soldiers and think it sounds like things to come?

Danny

Y’all didn’t have to go so hard !!

Tim Mullen

The Swedish drink gives me troubling thoughts about the origin story of Swedish meatballs

Byron_the_Bulb

All the music is so perfectly chosen. I'm trying to find the creator of the track that includes a remix of Baroque choral music. Any hints for me?

Byron_the_Bulb

I have always had the eerie feeling that all this violence is just under the surface, ready to erupt.

C. Ries

Can’t wait for this to happen to the Tanners and Ashlyns in some pigshit flyover suburb soon

Reece Coren

imagine being the guy who turned down 12 acres of land for a tulip

Bryan Jennings

Matt and Chris getting increasingly, vocally furious at the number of "Christian"s at the time is fantastic

Michael Landreth

I hear you I guess, but I have to hope there’s a better way. I don’t know how much human misery I can live with while celebrating the disintegration of the empire. Of course, the level of human misery the empire demands is already well beyond tolerable levels. Tanner and Ashlyn wouldn’t have it any other way. So I don’t know.

Dee Haytch

Original HOE soundtrack release when!!?

Post Void

Ferdinand: "Wally old boy, fix this mess!" Wallenstein: "Well, funny thing about this "mess" you speak of, let me hand you this mirror" Ferdinand: "Hey, wait a moment, kill him!"

Saga

Every time you bring up Cardinal Richelieu, I imagine Tim Curry from the 1993 Three Musketeers adaptation and it makes me chuckle

Post Void

"A blackened room with fools dwarfs and elves for entertainment" usually runs me about $50 on a Saturday.

etienne

there are people out there who purchased one bitcoin for sixty nine thousand american dollars

etienne

Cardinal Richelieu my name is Christian Pious I am 8 years old and live in Magdeburg. My family is being persecuted by Habsburg subcontractors please send Double Arquebuse with Slow burning match and Black powder

justdave

They're commin back!- tulips, not bitcoin

justdave

'Brandon' in German roughly translates as 'you will die, your loved ones will die, the tragic glory of the battlefield iz aul that vill remain'

Jacob

I do think we're generally better at commodity and food production than then so the floor is much higher for accepting warlordism and violence at that scale but then again of course it's going to happen (in America.)

Jacob

Someone rid me of my fat, rich wife.

Of course

A lost opportunity for this series to be narrated in the voices of Matt's Clay Higgins and Felix's Sy Hersh.

Dan

I know what fools and dwarves are in the context of court entertainers, but what are "elves"?

Dan

The amount of sadistic psychopathy and malevolent misanthropy that I encounter among people that are ostensibly progressive. Let's commit unspeakable warcrimes and sexual violence, so long as it's to McMansion Karens and their families, am I right?

Michael Polacheck

For a graphic record of the horrendous events described in this episode, check out the engravings of Jacques Callot- Les Grandes Misères de la Guerre.

Mia

personally I think it's bad when women are raped to death

Private

Most anglos: Lype-zig Most Germans: Lype-sig Weirdos from Saxony: Lypesch You two rednecks: Leap-sig

C. Ries

I’m not going to commit war crimes and unspeakable violence, it’s going to be the rump US police state fighting some schizo “patriot” militia

Gavin Farrell

Joseph Conrad wrote about colonialism in Heart of Darkness: "They were conquerors, and for that you want only brute force—nothing to boast of, when you have it, since your strength is just an accident arising from the weakness of others. They grabbed what they could get for the sake of what was to be got. It was just robbery with violence, aggravated murder on a great scale, and men going at it blind..." seems like it also applies very well to internal European affairs as well as their dealings in the colonies.

Noah Abbas

This is the world Libertarians want

THEKILLERWHALE

"Hey you! Stop crossing that street against the light even though there are no cars in sight! And no recycling on Sundays"

Tim O'

Less embarrassing than spending $44,000,000,000 on Twitter tbh

etienne

I'm sorry but Americans are entitled to pronounce german names and words however they see fit. Scoreboard.

Konrad T. Howitz

Sheesh, Matt, a boy of Schwaebisch ancestry really needs to learn how to pronounce Heilbronn.

Sean Russ

Listen, his "Wallenstein" was bothering me until I remembered how often my Hessisch gets made fun of

Steve D

Really does make you think, and I’m totally serious - war, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Adam H.

Damn dude, that's like, totally true.

Mitch H.

What's so civil about war anyway?

Private

This is only halfway between that and the world that bespectacled feeb Curtis Yarvin wants.

T

How do Matt and Chris do it? 🥵

Dan Mcnamara

I like the synth music around 22 min

Colin McFadzen

Incredible episode guys. I look forward to this more than anything every week

Konrad T. Howitz

Yeah, I was just being a dick. Thing is I was born in Heilbronn and was looking forward to its little moment in the hellfirelight.

Ben Goldberg

I just wanted to say that I absolutely love this series. I look forward to it every week. I really appreciate the hard work and research that went into this series. Something that this series helped me realize is how much fantasy writing (and games) I enjoy are influenced by this period of time. I can’t wait to read some of the books on your bibliography to learn even more. Again, I just want to thank you guys for such hard work and an excellent series.

Michael

Wonderful episode again. Those descriptions of hardship in Simplicius Simplicissimus (which I had forgotten) were burned into my brain as the character of the war since I took a class on the HRE in college. You have brought the exhaustion and the ruin to life. It is such an achievement.

Jim McKenna

10 of 10. This series is so good. I have to admit in the heat and excitement of your descriptions I lose track of names and alliances. If I wasn't driving a semi while listening I'd make a little scorecard to look at.

THEKILLERWHALE

I had the same problem with the 100 years war but then I read Druon and all of the faces and names clicked as it had characterization attached. So any literary treatment of the 30 years war might help if there are recommendations.

Adam H.

For real, it's like it just feeds the rich while it buries the poor.

Luke Cragg

When I heard that line listening to the CV Wedgewood audiobook, I gasped out loud

No

The local specialty in Bamberg is Rauchbier, which is smoked beer which smells like bacon and tastes like absolute shit. Having been there I can confirm it has been condemned by God for this crime

crabbe

I hope they write Gustavus back into a later episode/season he was pretty cool and i think his arc ended too early

Brent

How am I only now understanding the actual meaning of “musketeer”? Whelp, time to lord it over everyone like I always knew.

Jason Edmiston

The Wedgewood book is great for this exact reason.

Alex Schneider

Goddamn, Chris’ description of the pillage by soldiers on that poor farming family are haunting.

Roger Peet

Simplicius, The Painted Bird, Come and See...

Roger Peet

Huh I didn't realize they'd made a movie out of the Painted Bird

Ale

Stay tuned for the Carolus XII spinoff series

Diokles

The Lord of Light will revive him.

Diokles

This is fantastic.

Diokles

I may be missing this, but where can I find a bibliography?

Diokles

Great, thanks.

Sam Evergreen

Where my tender brained bohemians at

LEAH NELSON

Ok I now I really get why we made the 3rd amendment

Scott

I'd rather be totally effective than effectively totaled, whoa, zing!

Breakaway

Definitely. The Seven Years War wasn’t too long before the Constitution was written; I’m sure plenty of people in the Colonies knew exactly what foraging armies were wont to do.

Breakaway

Druon fucking rules. Shout out to Annibale on RWN for that one, and to some donor for giving the full set to my local library.

J.W.

NFTs are the final tulips.

James Aydelotte

Gotta say- Simplicissimus is amazing- thanks for the recommendation. And the horror read on this pod happens by page 27- by page 50 things are in ‘100 Days of Sodom’ and ‘Blood Meridian’ territory 😬

Urik Mej

Love the song at the 23 minute mark - getting clockwork orange vibes

Garth Hansen

I've listened to this series 4 or 5 times and every time matt says "kriegsvolk" I shudder. It's so fuckin chilling

Kevin

The part about witchcraft and fears of “dick theft” made me wonder if there isn’t something similar going on with today’s trans panic.

Reece Coren

Just realized this is Nolan’s Odyssey in podcast form. Pure brilliance in every aspect

Patrick Minshew

There's a detail that didn't get mentioned in this series that I find pretty interesting. Frederick V's first born son was named Frederick Henry. He died young. This happened when Frederick took him across the water in Amsterdam on a day trip to see the captured Spanish treasure fleet. On their way across the water, their craft collided with a barge, spilling the two into the water. Frederick V survived but his son drowned and was not found until the next day. Gotta wonder how Frederick V felt about all his failed gambits towards the end of his life.