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734 - I Feel Like White Gladis (5/23/23) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-05-23 17:45:34
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

Debt ceiling showdown, losers of the Republican primaries, Pete Buttigieg’s Mind Cathedral, yes, yes, but we must focus on what’s really important: The Orcas are now in open revolt, and we need to strategize support for our cetacean brothers and sisters.

LAST DAY to buy this round of merch from us, get it while it’s available: https://represent.com/store/chapo-trap-house

Files

Comments

Luke

but what about the SILO?

S Agsar

we love our slop don't we folks

Lord Drewcifer

Fuck yes, they brought back Animal News. I love Animal News.

Poppy Chulo

I read an article about orca pods off the Iberian peninsula and recently they attacked a yacht. So at this point sea life is doing more than any developed country to combat decadent gross inequality.

S

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Cumtickles

Releasing this episode late is very big dicked and straight, the opposite of what this audience wants

Gubriel

I will not live in the Silo I will not eat the American dystopian television series created by Graham Yost based on the Wool series of novels by author Hugh Howey

Adam Murphy

The orcas heard Andre Nickatina's Killa Whale and went berserker mode

Thom

A great "the animals are revolting" movie is Pom Poko from the great Miyazaki, which features raccoons straight up murdering construction workers.

Gabipentin

Felix your Azealia bar did NOT land flat with me jsyk

William

The Pete piece is a good trial balloon to see the power of propaganda- I.e. how much people believe shit they just read something

Jaime Christley

It's not Mooses it's Moosen. They live in the woodsen.

Demented Avenger

Mayo Pete has to be fucking with Heffernan. I don’t know how anyone can bullshit someone so pretentiously without bursting into laughter. I take it all back. Mayo Pete rules. He’s Andy Kaufman.

Adam Hauck

Orca Catholic Cemetery Monthly?

Bryan

felix said self-of-steam like jesse ferrar does

CJ

Enough with the DEBT ceiling, our leaders should be focused on the WET ceiling. Because Orcas live in the water folks.

Tan Tan

Was that Ron’s first time talking to another human? jfc

Andy Orsburn

There was a documentary that came out about 20 years ago, and the subject was orcas along the southern coast of Australia and how they had a collaborative working relationship with whalers. The orcas would herd sperm whales toward the whaling boats, making them easier to kill. In exchange, ship captains would take the internal organs from their kill, and give them to the orcas. The orcas would show up regularly at a certain pier, where the whalers were processing sperm whales. Of course the crews knew to throw the whale organs to the orcas. Both parties were happy with the collaboration. Then one night a leader of the whaling industry made a business decision that stopped all of that: he shot and killed an orca that had come up to the pier to collect its wages. After that act of betrayal and murder, orcas avoided humans and stopped helping with the whale hunts.

will michel

mr. buttigieg, your campaign has the momentum of a runaway freight train. why are you so popular?

William

Pete is an ai based upon every third way candidate ever

J

The soulsborne references never fail to activate my Aspergers

SCB

A mainline Chapo episode? You betcha.

Alexandr

Poddin' about pods

Meatwad Cosby

it’s beginning to feel a lot like Chapo season. let’s go.

ploob

🥹

Dick Waglin

I know he didn't mean it this way but I think "splitting wood" is a good term for rough gay sex

ploob

"This is one of the smallest groups of men you can find" - Felix Biederman

Adrienne Suydam

Lawwwdy, Miss Gladys White done got the Holy Spirit up in uh

Alexandr

Still ain't fixing the mics, huh. Just letting the audio clip with every word out of their mouths. That's fine. I don't need to not want to kill myself.

Dan

15th Century Portugal: Initiates Age of Discovery for Europe, and a globe-spanning empire in the Americas, Africa and Asia. 20th Century Portugal: Loses colonial empire. 21st Century Portugal: Get's wrecked by marine life.

jsobrie

Out: Bernie bros In: Orca oafs RIP Andy Rourke

Jaime Christley

Love that HoE series has equipped Matt with a ready arsenal of insults from antiquity, like mountebank. Let’s get those back into circulation.

Laurel

Nice, Cameron didn’t typecast Orcas as his killer whale.

Seymour Butz

You should have more to live for than that

Shauna Seroquel

I think an arsenal of insults from antiquity was what equipped Matt to make HoE!

Gordon Schmidt

The tragedy of Earth is that mankind has been a few thousand years ahead of our cetacean cousins. If only we had developed in parallel, we could have Mass Effect technology, as Felix said. Sad.

Alec

She give me brain in the jetblue brain lounge

Damen Irving

Biden’s Catholicism engorged af

blazed uncle

The funniest thing about Pete’s hard hat appearance was that you could see in his face that he knew how it would play and was so mad about that.

Whucko Jaang

Matt = bass Drums = Felix Will on the guitar.

Epic Soundtracks

books sucked shit. dystopian fiction for special ed young adults

Epic Soundtracks

episode sounds fine, fix your gain staging, cuck

gavin curran

No one who sounds like desantis will ever be president change my mind

plainwrap

That's why they called Abe Lincoln 'The Railsplitter'.

Andrew M

literally the plot of Orca will and hess need to review the film in honor of this event

David Browm

The only thing a revolutionary whale can be sure of is that they are a doomed whale

Gulb

Joined the Forward Party after listening to this

owen

we 👏 love 👏 Sif 👏 in 👏 this 👏house 👏

Kamran Husain

fun fact the ivy league schools have woodsman’s teams where they see which idiot can saw or hack a log faster it’s very funny to watch them nerds

Danny

name?? Link?? this is insane

J. A.

Et tu epic soundtracks?

J. A.

Don't give Danny the link. He's Jeffrey's kid. He's doing what his daddy did and he's using orcas to help

cwen

There’s a possibility that White Gladis is Will’s biological mother. Run back to the wild, my friend. Live in power.

NoPrefect

Well folks, we're stuck on dry land now.

Jon

Did Felix get laid?

J P 3

In 2020, Mayor Pete was obviously cribbing from Obama and had been working on his Obama impersonation for at least a decade. This profile sounds like a checklist labeled "Totally Normal and Relatable Presidential Candidate: Hobbies and Consumer Habits". Likes fast food (reference Bill Clinton and Trump); plays instrument (reference Bill Clinton and Mike Huckabee); likes exercise (reference Bill Clinton and George W. Bush); likes car (reference Joe Biden); likes religion (reference all of them). I wonder if Liz Smith and Mayor Pete prepared for this interview with a ChatGPT brainstorm session.

K H

I would rather sink on my caudal fin than float on my dorsal fin.

K H

Y'all got Illiad in there?

K H

The problem is obviously that you have some kind of autism.

K H

Well you see, I'm gay.

K H

Orcas are smart because they only had to be shown once. A human would've been like "nah bro. If it had been me it have gone different bro. For real bro. Like when I get pissed bro? It's over dude. Even if it's a full grown bull whale. Like that fisherman wouldn't a tried that with me. Cause if he had? It woulda gone different is all I'm saying. Just separates the calfs from not calfs is all."

I am become reply guy

Whatever you do during the whale summit, do not say ‘spearheading’

K H

They know what they're doin to those kids! They're going after the sickos!

K H

Something is not right about that SILO I don't care what the elders say.

Kerri

The Foward Party should be based on Wisconsin supremacist beliefs

K H

Is Pete just advertising for Burger King and Ford? The whales really can't squish us fast enough. "It feels good to be driving a vehicle with a lot of power"? He is dumber than the smartest whale and everyone that ever liked him as a candidate is dumber than the dumbest whale, certainly dumber than the average orca. It feels good...to be driving a vehicle with a lot of power.... When stars want to feel the palpable vastness of the void they look into the eyes of Mayor! Pete. Imagine this fucker was your kid and not realizing they were a doppleganger that needed to be put in an oven. I like milk. It feels good to drink a beverage which is cold.

Scot Forsythe

Well jostle the right boat in the iberian and a bunch of global southerners might just fall out

Yarblockos

Overdrawn at the memory bank. Ha ha ha. That is funny.

South Dakota Department of Propaganda

I use ChatGPT a lot. There is no way you can convince me that Andrew Yang’s list article was 1000% no doubt in my mind just a lazy edit of a raw ChatGPT response. It has to be.

blazed uncle

Anyone else notice how both Buttigieg and the interviewer seem to think neoliberalism just means “new liberalism”?

Kevin

Being actually literate would have meant less imbibing HR Self-Help corn syrup that neoliberal strivers are powered on. I don't think people like Pete would be able to look themselves in the mirror if they had ever read a real book.

Cool and Normal

anyone know what the song at the end is? it sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it

Robin

Killer whales attacked the initial survivors of the whaleship Essex after a sperm Whale sunk their ship.

J Vladcliff

Mayo Pete is talking about the spiritual nature of travel, I want to be able to afford groceries and also have savings in case of an emergency

SoConfused

can't believe someone else remembers johnny mnemonic

Dustin Nelson

Finally a movie I know and love in the thumbnail

Gianni Romano

It would be all too fitting for Orcas to take over after us. They are really the humans of the water. Just being insanely intelligent while also being as cruel and ridiculous as possible.

Petrorenminbi

The answer to the debt ceiling is that anything democrats did would be doing a Thing™️ and we can’t do Things™️ anymore because it’s “the end of history.” They have became AIs themselves and their training data is just all US politics from 1946 to 1991. Things™️ happened back before history ended but now that it’s over we can only act in ways that our predecessors have already acted

John Carter

the smiths - meat is murder

Heavenly Father69

I respect you Matt, primarily for your mindful steadfastness during COVID. But dude you need to eat some fucking crow for consistently being wrong about the capabilities of the dipshit goon right. From Jan 6, to Trump, to the Budweiser Mulvaney fiasco which is actually a marked cultural shift in identity politics, and today the debt ceiling fiasco- they want money dude and will destroy America for all the pork they can bully the left into- the right is profoundly more capable of anything it wants than the left (gutting America via consolidation of legislative power legitimately grass roots up)which he dismisses all of them as a bunch of noise. For a guy who spends most of his time with his head up the ass of 16th century German Protestants AND FUCKING GREW UP WITH WITH THE WORKING CLASS RIGHT GOONS HE REGULARLY DISMISSES, dude he knows nothing about them. STFU already.

Sam Hectic

Occasional splitting wood sessions can be fun. Then you realize that if you had to depend on it for daily life your electric bill doesn’t seem so bad.

Dru Heff

Swiss Will I Am lol

Sam Hectic

Post politics DeSantis is a shoo-in for the carving station at Old Country Buffet.

Elliot Matheny

Okay, hear me out. What if Pete, the son of renowned Gramsci scholar Joseph Buttigieg, is a Manchurian Candidate (Gramsciurian Candidate, if you will) shrewdly trained by his father to project the perfect neoliberal climber persona? Everything he says is so perfectly coded to activate the MK Ultra synapses of the liberal mind - it would be the perfect crime. With his ties to the intelligence and military community, Comrade Peter could implement a coup d’etat upon a successful presidential campaign, consolidating the powers of state and military under his iron fist. Long Live the Gramsciurian Candidate ✊🏼

A RQ

Please consider including time stamps so I can skip the interminable, lame animal riffs every ep.

K H

Your definition of the "goon right" seems to just be the right, and I don't think Matt has ever suggested that the right was not effective at being the more visceral servant to capital. Jan 6th did nothing except scare libs real good. I'm actually not sure what you're trying to say here. Money controls politics and the "grass roots up" shift was achieved through decades of union busting and corporate consolidation of media and pro police messaging, in addition to meticulous gutting of social welfare coopted by Drmocrats. There was no sudden shift in identity politics that substantively changed government or society. You need to log off. Standing e cat femboys and posting against TikToks of kids in suits eating cereal is not a substitute for organizing the work place.

john

when election season hits Chapo's Trap House, it feels like one of my animes is entering the Tournament Arc

Sam Lewis

Did Felix quote a lyric from 212?

William Beamish

The soundtrack to ORCA is incredible (heard a snippet in this)

Colin Bassett

Splitting wood is pretty fun actually. Nice and rhythmic. makes you feel powerful

Valerie

"That's great advice if you're a werewolf running for president" Felix, you have my favorite kind of humor, thank you

Scott Harding

You guys are way behind, I've been running drugs and guns for the Orca revolutionary front for years.

Robert Karnick

2 different MST3K references in one ep

Dustin Nelson

I want to find the novel someday. I have an original theater poster of this art in my bathroom

Ozzie

I stan White Gladis

Aiden

Cathedral brain

Bobi Jon-son Kenobi

I think Felix is right about SCOTUS, considering they’re allowing California’s pork regulation to go through. Also, my dad still uses wood because he’s too cheap to pay the heating bill in the winter, so he chops a lot of wood Edit: Well, SCOTUS just limited the Clean Water Rule, so who knows, really

C. Andrew

So mono means one, and rail means rail. That concludes our intensive three week course.

C. Andrew

Neoliberalism is when your transportation secretary reads a BK commercial que card, and the more Ford 'Built Tough, But Not in a Toxic Way' F-350E (now with less coltan) you talk about to signalboost domestic manufacturing the more neoliberal it is. It is wild that Pete can't stop the trains from crashing because that's too hard, he better stick to misquoting Livy to GM board members trying to kick the can of energy apocalypse down the road; because the American transportation network is a nightmare and probably unfixable by the biggest of brains because the problem is cultural. Can't build or number crunch your way out of this, Pete, no amount of technology is going to fix it.

🤷🏼‍♀️

Felix just learned the use of “boob” as an insult

Chubby Justin

New england psychos like to split wood. Especially from Maine and new Hampshire. We should make them slaves

AbeLinkin

Are you drawing this from the VVitch? If so, you are correct. -Plymouth, MA

AbeLinkin

Mine is Planet of the Apes

AbeLinkin

Nope he’s Satan

AbeLinkin

It’s not cultural. It can change if we change the material conditions. Culture changes in response to that.

Jon Lyons

we NEED to call out White Gladys for adventurism and pursuing personal vendettas instead of a true liberatory project; she will pull up the waterslide after her as soon as she has sunk enough boats and mean cetacean family wealth will still stand at $0.00000006 (a bowhead whale swallowed my wallet)

Thom

Willy sends his regahds *starts throwing herring from a bucket*

will michel

pete buttigieg is a sentient harvard admissions essay

jack flowers

the animal riffs are something chapo only started doing when they started to fall off, but also they are still among the funnier parts of the show now.

Ryan Ford

top tier Felix ep

Kevin

First off you need to draw a distinct between us French-Canadian stock and the Anglo-psychos who rule us. --Somewhere in Maine

Chantz

Will's impression of a chad vs soyjak meme made my day, thanks boys

Jonathan G

Late listener FYI: Felix says alien

Rene Saller

Just noticed that Chasten Buttigieg has a book out for young adults--maybe fodder for the next reading series?

Heavenly Father69

Let me clarify: The right- from the rapidly growing number of white disenfranchised formerly middle class not college educated voter, to the obscenely and perversely rich Republican shot callers who seek to enslave and reduce the former population into their personal serfs, to the 100% rapidly proliferating and agitating paranoid violence endorsing fascist extremists that represent grass roots legislative change (school boards, sheriff's, state congressional reps, and judicial appointments) they are infinitely more motivated, more capable, and more brainwashed then any fucking liberal in Brooklyn could possibly comprehend. As a former left coast born and raised lib now abstaining from any political identification but working in and around people endorsing red state politics I can say that you would be hard pressed to find right leaning people who dont endorse violence, who found Jan6 to be galvanizing, who see Budweiser/Mulvaney as a spiritual rallying point with profound financial consequences to a major right leaning american institution. Stop dismissing them. They are our fascist future and whereas the left will banish you for saying the wrong word the right are completely willing to kill you for it with an arsenal of and an obsession with firearms and fat people tactical gear

ex-cantaloupe

The DeSantis diner interaction feels like you're mashing the "talk" button on an NPC and he's just cycling through his handful of prerecorded lines lol

MrMojoRisin

10/10 azealia banks reference

Bill Crotts

Felix saying any word with a hard A is funny

Cool and Normal

ohhh, right, that's it! thank you, I was going slightly insane trying to remember what it was

Jacob

Clear your throat Felix

Dustin Nelson

Also should add that there have been wild attacks on humans by orcas, the one I remember was a bite on a surfboarder. Although you're right in that I'm unaware of fatalities from Orcas in the wild

Khemith

"Some lib visited by the ghost of hard work" Felix . Im dying lol

Reece Coren

NO WAY YOU REALLY DID THIS READING SERIES ❤️❤️❤️ chapo is the best show on the planet