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751 - A Bronx Tale (7/20/23) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-21 01:48:05
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

Our “Never Trust a Pedophile” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt. Then, we look some of  Mike Flynn’s online fixations, Trump stealing ancient Israeli relics, and finally, a long piece detailing a fight between a New York IHOP impresario and the Revolutionary War re-enactors he’s vowed to destroy.

Tickets for our live shows in BOTH Montreal and Toronto available here at https://www.chapotraphouse.com/live

Files

Comments

Eddie

Woo!

Justin

Last.

JD Nonce

Ah marvelous my slop has arrived

Phm07

Love this slop

saintbeau

oughh *lifts head from trough*

Guy Guyerson

They fed us early tonight, boys

Dan Young

Overcast app gets a NOT FOUND error on attempt to download

Beehive Fucker

have you tried the "slop for pig man" app

Joel.

We love a sloppy toppy

Jay Bee Jay

We got this episode early because you low-class pigs complained so much about the last few late episodes. Keep it up. We're gonna get 4 episodes a week if you oinkers can get your shiat together.

ploob

Hey hey, whoa

aarinsanity

Ive got a friend that has a Punch a Pedophile i think its hilarious pedos are trash and probably deserve a punch or two

plainwrap

Can't wait to walk around in public with my Chapo Trap House "Rules and Suggestions For Stealing Candy" ironic in-joke t-shirt that could misconstrued as a pedophilia-confession.

Dru Heff

Pudding-Pudding. Fingers. Yum.

Micheal Plant

There is a video going around where Jim Caviezel say something like The Virgin Mary of Guadalupe will take her wrath put on pedolphiles. The comment section was hilarious with Catholics, Christians and Mormons fighting over who was really gonna take on the pedophiles.

Alec

I prefer the hoodie with the “how to cook meth” directions on the back

P$

Try that in a small town

Mitch H.

Wearing my "get a rope" t-shirt with shit-faced Matt head

Paul F. Holzfäller

I think “Stanky Swankhouse” would look pretty good on a t-shirt. Maybe with hand drawn caricatures of the fellas doing their best “tough boy” pose? Too gay? Not gay enough?

Paul F. Holzfäller

You’d think they’d want to sort out the pedophiles in their own ranks first. I have this strange feeling they won’t make that a priority.

Paul F. Holzfäller

Jason Aldean talks tough, but we’ve all seen him under fire. Unfortunately.

Ozzie

On the back of the shirt it says “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.”

Bryan Young

I worked with a guy who would wear a “shoot your local pedo” with a guy on his hands and knees getting the back of his head blown out and he never understood why it wasn’t allowed to be worn at work anymore.

Rusty Shackleford V

Chazz Palminteri actually has two restaurants in Manhattan and White Plains each called “Chazz Palminteri Italian Restaurant,” I have wanted to go since the moment I heard about it

Blurple

mmm hungwy!

Jessica Rios

I haven’t listened yet. Is Matt back?

Cardboard

Rest in peace brother Michael Brooks

Jake

yes

Patrick Parker

I wanted to get a drink there recently for the lols but it is not cheap.

Michael Keith

I’d buy a chapo “bullying people online is good” T-shirt

T.A. Martin

Personally I think you boys have been a little TOO restrained with your merch. Where's my "Uncle Magic" t-shirt, coffee mug, and water bottle?

calvin kilby

Why would you say something so bold yet true

Aaron Cantor

do a book review of the catturd book!

Faib Dao

This is practically ripped from an episode of Billions.

Shimosanz (Brian Sanchez)

A guy at my gym has that “kill your local pedophile” but as a decal on the back of his truck.

Mark Nagy

Yea I'm the spawn guy don't worry bout it you're already making my life hell but I like the Adam Friesland show

Chris

*pounding on the table with knife and fork in hand* Matt! Matt! Matt!

J.P. McD.

Will went all out on that “his member is back and to the left; magic jism” bit and the guys didn’t even polite-laugh

Goff Costello

Carl Hiaasen character-ass pancake baron

K H

I want a patreon tier where Felix acts as an NPC

K H

I thought the shirt was absurd Chapo merch. I thought about it and was like ehhhhh a little too far for a goof. Life truly imitating art.

K H

I just realized how Biden can win! Media made Hunter seem like a liability but he's the greatest weapon. The maga milfs clearly love and obsess over Hunter. Hunter need only be directed to liberate these milfs in all the swing states via his cock. Perhaps that is why he was driving so fast in that other video. So many milfs and so little time to dick them down. Hunter will be the Paul Bunyon of laying pipe all across this great land. God speed Hunter. God speed. If we can deploy him to the Russian front we may yet broker peace.

Will K

Was about to take a pic of a "kill your local pedo" bumper sticker on the back of a pick-up & the owner came out of his house and yelled at me. Truly the strangest perverts walking this fine earth of ours.

K H

"Bully billionaires"

K H

No. He's dead and they used a hologram. Skip it.

K H

"No condom gang" and the boys are all bimbofied or soy facing

K H

How can they be late? Is there a schedule? A syllabus?

K H

Ban anime.

October

I read that as "shitbee" and was seriously intrigued.

October

So would I if they sold women's tees.

Jaime Christley

There's a guy in my town with an "Execute Your Local Pedophile" rear window sticker on his Jeep Wrangler. Other salient details: mechanized gates warning of attack dogs (he has no dogs); house number is in Fraktur font; house can only be described as "castle-esque" in facade texture and overall bearing; he owns a vintage US Army truck (as in, 3 axles, probably 3 MPG city/2 highway) that he's recently been trying to get rid of (folks, $20k OBO). Also wanted to add, been listening to Radio War Nerd's Civil War eps and there can be no doubt our handsome, peacocking Union AND Confederate generals would simp for "Cat Turd".

SoldierBlue

Maybe a “bend the knee for me Neera” t-shirt

Jaime Christley

I was going to joke that your guy and my guy were the same guy but I think it's far more likely that every town in the US has exactly one of this guy. No more, no less, like how there's always only two Sith.

JFE-1138

Amityville soundtrack

Doug Cartel

nothing says "I stutter when I make eye contact" like a bumper sticker that says that

Doug Cartel

I saw a guy wearing a sweater that said SLAVA UKRAINI on the back in cyrillic at a childs baseball game, so anything is possible. I like to think he doesn't know what it means and got it from a fundraiser for a CIA cutout pretending to send bandages to toddlers But yeah the same dudes on twitter screaming to high heaven about secret pedophiles are the same guys who think the age of consent should be 10 or something

drewb

the shitbees are swarming, Randy!!

Jö

Balloon

Alex

Can't wait for Q to pick up on old branding campaigns for a nice "Fuck Pedophiles" drop

Arielle Curtin

Tee shirt or sleep shirt that says “Evil MILF” on front and #TeamFelix on the back.

Lydia Maria Child

Just curious...does giving cluster bombs to literal nazis make them not racist? Or are we giving clusterbombs to nazis so that it makes us less racist? Or is opposing nazis with clusterbombs actually the real racism? Are these questions racist? Am I "triggering" the pro-nazi democrats who identify as attack helicopters? Can somebody in your weird little coastal "leftist" clique answer these questions? And without saying "Putin"? Maybe ask Sam Seder and friends at your next very cool dinner party?

Toshio42

Catturd? Scatological? Oh no, he's Martin Luther Reborn.

BureaucracyNow

Walking down the shirt with a street on it

Jaime Christley

Libertarianism is such a magnificent, free-floating political philosophy that aspires to an MLM structure but will never ever close the deal; they get people in the door talking up M4A and legalizing drugs and whatnot, and then when they've got you past the threshold they start saying things like "Hey, kids are hot, right? Haha just kidding or am I." Odds of having been to Thailand or are planning to vacation there soon are exactly 1:1

Jaime Christley

There's always been an unwavering tone of "hold me back bro" "bro you're lucky I'm on probation" in religion, especially those ones.

William

Would answering these questions halt or slow the support for ukr nazis

Jaime Christley

it's both wild and not in the least surprising that 4 (or more?) commenters (including myself) have listened to that part of the ep and immediately thought "yeah I know a guy who has that" as a T or mudflap or bumper sticker etc. Our country is very chill.

William

Milfs in swinger states you mean

William

Yeah, it was underrated

Jö

a street that says pedophile on it

K H

He do good work?

Terrible Dirigible

We really gotta petition the city about renaming pedophile avenue.

Bryan Young

No he was our lead and would constantly complain about having to do anything or being in charge

Jesse DeStasio

I live near Fishkill. The "friends" put up crazy ass crank signs everywhere about this controversy. Glad the story is being told.

Bryan Young

I come from an open carry state too, so he would always talk about how he would carry and be ready if he met a pedo on the street.

SmolDickRich

I’d like to see chatGPT give a movie pitch like that

Ian Priest

Every time Israel comes up on the pod, a countdown starts until Felix mentions Dibuks or Golems

Paul F. Holzfäller

Your guy definitely spends all night hoping and praying for a home invasion so he can use his favorite pew-pews. I’m betting there’s a 50/50 chance that he shoots himself in the excitement of retrieving a gun.

Jacob Curley

Child Fucker Loki has just been confirmed to make an appearance in Loki season 2.

SF

Carbonara does not have meat sauce Matt.

SF

what

Hello!

So MTG definitely has it bad for Hunter right?

Paul F. Holzfäller

You sound mad that the Russians are getting their shit pushed in. How many Ivans do you think are getting turned into borscht right now?

Paul F. Holzfäller

She’s absolutely ready, willing, and able to be Hunter’s personal bust dumpster.

Petrorenminbi

The Coen brothers would make an incredible movie about the IHOP guy

Jaime Christley

Yeah if he had kids (unclear) he’d have mistaken them for burglars by now

SF

Okay the OP’s outburst is weird but you sound like a NAFO dog psycho which is much much worse.

Karl Childers

what in the fuck is this OP you either need to smoke more weed or way less idk

Axel H.

I’ve read this comment three times and I still have no clue what the actual complaint is.

etienne

least unhinged NIMBYs

Ryan

Great ep, but just wanna wish a happy G1 Climax season to all who celebrate.

T

It was a great joke, so I can only assume it happened while Felix was vaping and Matt was sipping a Whiteclaw.

SF

Uh huh that’s nice. Yeah, OP is having an embarrassing schizo episode but Alexander Patterson is unmistakably a NAFO Banderite.

jack flowers

always wanted to get a pancake at civilwarland

Karl Childers

tbh i already want to go back and re-listen to that whole segment cuz that story was fucking insane

pdschmidty

The boys should read and review Cat Turd’s book

PJA

She's a bugchaser, she wants Hunter's pozzed up crackhead dick

Dan

Did you direct him to the nearest church and gauge his reaction?

Dan

There’s a Johnny Appleseed joke in here somewhere.

PJA

28:18 --- Benyamin Netanyahu's real name is Ben Mileikowsky, he's a Polack, like most of the first-generation Israelis: Menachem Begin's real name was Menachem Volfovich (Wolfowitz) and David Ben Gurion was born David Green

Eirgor

As someone who grew up in Fishkill NY, this whole thing about IHOP and strip malls is probably the most interesting thing that has ever or will ever happen in the area. Always weird to hear someone mention my hometown out of the blue though

Dan

Cannot overstate how thirsty she is. Hunter could turn that cow into the most pro-BDS bitch on earth at this point.

Jaime Christley

This is like when I found out Sam Elliott was originally a Sacramento/Portland Weird guy, as opposed to an immaculate conception rising out of dry, dense Texas chaparral

CARRIERHASARRIVED

the movie will is thinking of is basically "Local Hero"

Maouriceltic

I live in Beacon/Fishkill and have never heard of this...also, chazz palmenteri does have a restaurant in the hilton garden inn in the diamond district

Secret Audio

We used to have a “Chazz: A Bronx Original” restaurant in Baltimore. This will shock you but a) it sucked, b) they didn’t pay their bills, and c) it closed.

Stateside Reds

I don’t know y’all, the Waffle House sells a steak omelette with chili on it and it’s incredible. the tingling in my hands intensifies every time I have one, but I can’t say no

Anna

I love not knowing what cat turd looks like in my mind he is a cartoon catdog-like figure there’s no way he’s not animated

Poppy Chulo

Don't know about you guys but after this week I sure could use a nice piece of pussy pie.

Jamin Kreighbaum

I think he'd go for it if he could see how many pull-ups she can attempt.

Jamin Kreighbaum

This is what happens when there are little or no public mental health services, I saw a guy on my drive home yesterday holding a big piece of cardboard in front of his body with a crudely drawn naked woman on it, and he was more coherent than this screecher.

Brian Murphy

I know someone who wears a “pedophile hunter” hat who has gone around town with his sunglasses on the brim of his hat, so the only word you could read is “pedophile”.

Eddie Strange

What was the song at the end? good atmospheric shit

Richard Perez

How long until someone wearing anti-pedo merchandise is killed by someone else wearing anti-pedo merchandise because of this very misunderstanding.

Stephen

True Americans know that IHOP really stands for 'Globalist Jewish Cabal of Flapjacks'

Stephen

IHOP eggs+pasta+ragu sounds like a white trash version of 'Zozzona'

parker

Volcanic shit recipe

tmasterp

Ending song was?

Zach Pierce

“NEVER TRUST A PEDOPHILE (like I did all those years)”

Alex Gullen

Hunter should lean into OnlyFans and start a CockArt channel. Kind of take in Randy’s CockMagic in Southpark.

Nolan

When twitter goes bankrupt I can guarantee Elon will say he did it on purpose to get people off of social media.

JFE-1138

Amityville soundtrack

Poppy Chulo

I want to have a three way with Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Ryan Henson

It would be fun to dog them and then talk about the benefits of socialized medicine as they wipe my load off their back.

ploob

SUSHI COMPED tees please

United Eric Emirates

Yep, I now work just down the street and one day, God willing, will hv my BDAy there.

Maouriceltic

he is a disrupter...not a fake inventor and shitty businessman who lucked into an awful system based on poor valuations

Shauna Seroquel

You boys aren't thinking big enough; remember MTG has sub access to Milo... With those three archetypes, imagine all the configurations of relapsing, prolapsing...

sean the horny corpse ghost 👻

please talk about the miami cop who shot himself in the head and failed to kill himself because his wife was banging a shoe salesman or some shit

nomorepls

james is not nearly as neurotic though

Khemith

IHOP is disgusting. He should be arrested for war crimes.

Colin Helpio

I saw a MASSIVE "Kill Your Local Pedophile" sticker on the back of some dude's pick-up when I was out visiting a panaderia in Tulare, CA. Wild stuff. It depicted a man pointing a handgun at the head of another man who was on his knees.

Jon Lyons

They'll break your heart every time

ryan williams

ive seen that too up here in wisconsin, these people want to so much have a justification to kill someone and enjoy it. they have forgotten that its violence and brutality that is what makes criminals so heinous, 'law abiding' people having the same lust for violence is the act of giving into the same mentality of the violent criminal. that desire to kill

Reece Coren

just saw a guy in a kill all pedophiles t shirt and all i can think of now is Matt