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753 - Gurnee Nights (7/27/23) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-28 05:52:44
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

Our take on the Congressional UFO Hearing. Biden has a new dog that’s even more poorly behaved than the last one. DeSantis continues to hemorrhage staff, this time losing his brain trust of 20-something groypers. Trump expounds on his faith, and we discuss his many, many impending indictments. Finally, the return of Obama’s limousine superhead.

CANADA: Toronto is basically sold out, but tickets still available for the Montreal show on Sat. Aug 19. https://www.chapotraphouse.com/live

Files

Comments

owen

first, gay

Emil

Time for slop

Jakew

I’m getting good at checking Patreon like two minutes after they post

S Agsar

This one cracked the hour mark!

ttypes

Mmmm hungwy

Julie Baxter

OMG, laying in my hospital bed waiting for an enema, *tmi*, great time for slop boys. Seriously, bless you.

George Lochinski

No worries, friends, the aliens are surely just down here to deliver to Joe Biden a key to the galaxy

Negative Affirmations

Matt's comment about the secret service being insanely frustrated that they can't murder the dog was exactly what I thought when I heard that story. Commander is being set up. The fix is in.

JD Nonce

**hurriedly taking my clothes off and running a scorching bubble bath while muttering to myself “my slop is ready”**

J P 3

Apparently they were able to recover text messages about Biden's dog biting Secret Service agents, but all the messages on the day of January 6th just happened to disappear? There were also a several scandals during the Obama years. e.g. Obama's 2012 Columbia trip being one of the more notorious cases.

Alexandr

The slop is going in one ear and coming out the other end.

Waffle Poet

A cursory glance at wild-eyed David Grusch’s background, along with the rest of the UFO watch crap that’s steadily dripping out of Defense, leads me to believe a bunch of nerds (directed energy, UAVs) in the Pentagon are just trying to use Congress to do an end run around traditional power blocs like the fighter mafia. It’s not about asking for more money - as noted, who needs to ask? Rather it’s a bunch of dorks trying to change how some of the money is spent.

Elai Kehler

If the us government showed me Joe Biden in a UFO smoking weed with an alien i would believe them and also vote for the democratic party for the rest of my life

Shimosanz (Brian Sanchez)

Trump hijacking one of those trucks and flooring it while blasting Be Quiet and Drive (far away) by Deftones.

KIDBOOYA420

My dream is that the chapo members have a group marriage , and we get to watch them like a full house show but with the chapos .

Jay-Z Pants

Thanksgiving raccoon 🤤

Last Years Man

Being in the white house has got to be pretty stressful. for a dog, though.

Poppy Chulo

If I was the president I would see how far I could push things before secret service would give me some kind of reaction. Watching ghetto gaggers without earbuds on a laptop in a motorcade, watching ghetto gaggers without earbuds on Air Force One. Basically ghetto gaggers at different times and places. Also go down to the white house kitchen in the middle of the night and have the chef make me ribs and sit in the kitchen watching ghetto gaggers in front of him.

Michael S. Judge

Trump "Get in one of these trucks and get the hell out of here" will always be tied with with Trump's Address to the Bay of Pigs' Veterans Association at #1 and #2 for me

drewb

every time I see this now I have to say it to myself in an increasingly silly and nasal voice. mmmm hungwy

Thomas Carroll

BREAKING: Felix Biederman characterizes slavery as a tutorial level from a video game.

Jaime Christley

I would like to see the Martian ambassador address a joint session of Congress, that would be the ideal “life imitates art” scenario.

YukiNukem64x

Tbf those games that have the tutorial never stop is purgatory.

Amy Immermann

Gurnee, IL? Too funny I live right around the corner from there which one of you guys is from Gurnee?

Mark Schneider

Did Will offhandedly suggest that the spavined corpse of DiFi will be the "evidence" for Alien corpses?

Doug Cartel

I refuse to believe in aliens until one shouts the BOGOS BINTED meme on the floor of the senate oh also petition for Biden's next dog to be named Commodore

Cesar C

I gotta try some raccoon

Kristy Noem's Crusty Dome

We get a UFO/alien congressional drop in the same year as the AI photorealism generators come out? They really couldn't keep it in their pants a little longer huh

Zach H.

Hey, look. Satan sending Joe hellhounds to watch over him is nobodies business. And ‘A Dog Called Battleship’ sounds like a fun children’s book.

Dan

You can’t threaten me with a good time

Jaime Christley

I had to look at the transcript to make sure I hadn't dreamed it; Pence might have been the secret MVP, dropping the phrase "Castro's socialist forces", after which Trump spends about 40% of his remarks struggling manfully with "socialism" and "Communism", like a dog wearing a birthday hat

AlexT

I believe Felix is from Hyde Park

etienne

wasn't there a The Onion thing about Diamond Joe having a terrible rottweiler chained to an engine block on the white house front lawn

Meatwad Cosby

“Look at what the FBI is doing to Catholics.” he’s back, folks 🔥

J-Lo

Believe that would be US Grant

Jaime Christley

AIPAC told Ron DeSantis he'd been made honorary special guy Air Marshal on that flight, and he took the role very seriously - no books, no movies, no podcasts, no cheeky naptime honk shu honk shus. Just pure, undiluted Florida front porch vigilance.

calvin kilby

it would be like fish tank but less problematic

Alec

Being in a concentration camp had its benefits, you really got to learn about who were the fake friends in your crew. That’s a really enlightening and useful experience.

Jaime Christley

Right wing crackpot Uber driver sucked me off???!!

Alec

He give me dome on the Orbit til i Giant Drop

Erik Bourre

hope the asshole cleaning went well friend. godspeed

Demented Avenger

What's the point of a groyper for DeSantis? Isn't the idea of DeSantis is to have Trumpism without Trump to appeal to establishment Republicans? How do a bunch of groypers make appeals to those hair salon owners who like the whipping of immigrants but don't like the tweets?

Julie Baxter

Can't see my replies, but the asshole cleaning went fine and I am New Woman today.

David Browm

Gritty reboot of the Homeward Bound universe with Commander, Army, and Battleship

Bobi Jon-son Kenobi

If you’re in the Gurnee, Illinois area, go to Gurnee Donuts on Grand Avenue, past Six Flags on your way to Waukegan. They got some great donuts, and they make ube donuts on the weekend, too. Not in Gurnee but nearby in the town of Grayslake is a great Peruvian rotisserie chicken place called Condor’s Rotisserie. It’s on Route 83, which intersects with Grand Avenue in Lake Villa. This has been your Lake County food recommendations of the day

Amy Immermann

Responding, I apologize I didn’t listen to the whole podcast to the end but now I get it which is even funnier. This is been a great podcast listening to all of what you talked about today. That was great. Thanks.

Demented Avenger

Plus Alix Lakehurst relo'd to Grayslake, and she always looked like she gave great top

David Browm

I know people who like Know Your Enemy but Bells reeeeaally dumb takes on Twitter always pop up for me when I think about listening

Amy Immermann

I will check it out sounds delicious!

Null_null

Wouldn’t judge the show based on some bad Tweets. It’s really great.

William

More out by Schaumburg

Kyle Smyth

Obama getting topped off while a John Iskalis' american floor show commercial plays in the background

Samuel Z Goldberg

Joe is going to name his next dog Hunter and never even put that together.

William

Gurnee and Peoria are okay

Michael Branes

We're straight up going to get the chapelle show bit where biden interviews an alien that's obviously just a dude in a costume

Fernando

Matt and the raccoon comment was so funny

Paul F. Holzfäller

I’m sure those guys have at least cleared their holsters and aimed at the dog. They’re just keeping themselves from pulling the trigger.

William

ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT ADAM ANT

Paul F. Holzfäller

Maybe throw in some light commentary every 5 minutes or so. “I think he might actually be hitting the back of her skull” or “wow they really made a dumpster out of this one.” Just to add a little extra push here and there if you want to.

baysalt

Holy shit the Mitski line

Jaime Christley

did they give you that little sticker that says what your mileage is going to read when you have to come back in again?

DB

Really good shit guys…one of the best eps in a while. I love the nonstop political drama eps

Garrat M

My girlfriend from college was from Gurnee. She was a pathological liar, manipulative and emotionally abusive. But, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch so I stuck with her for two years.

Erin Kristina

Can someone tell me what the music is? Halfway and end?

Vincent VanRiesen

no longer seeing the download option from the "•••"

Vincent VanRiesen

correction: looks like patreon's script is shitting the bed, it eventually came back

Boaz Corey

Reptoids and turtles coming out turtles, lovin' it. Laughed almost as hard as when Christman referred to King Charles' fingers as 'blood plantains'.

Paul F. Holzfäller

Makes sense. Hard to be any of those three things when you have a full mouth.

Sam

I saw a mink in Gurnee, IL

Matt Murray

I grew up just outside of Peoria. This episode made me so happy.

Lezli

Adam Ant

Matt knutel

Lake county warriors sound off!!

David Lundeen

Doing a workout and almost decapitated myself with the barbell mid bench press at Biden's dog named Battleship.

T

Glad I wasn’t the only one who thought of Bibble

Scot Forsythe

All I wanna be is el Chapo / sittin in the limo gettin toppo

Garrat M

I mean, her not being any of those things for 5 minutes was a plus. But even if she’d found a way I’d have still given it 10 out of 10 no notes.

Garrat M

In comparison to like Decatur or the Quad Cities? Then yeah sure, but even some backwards Evangelical shithole like Effingham is better than Gurnee or Peoria

Garrat M

Good to know both the men and women of Gurnee do their part to pitch in and make a difference in this world.

JD Nonce

Recently a language class I met a 22 year old masters student who goes to a prestigious university who wears an Imperium of Man from Warhammer 40,000 necklace and was telling a Spanish person in the class that he is ‘a big fan of the Reconquista’. Maybe the DeSantis campaign should hire him and I can get a referral fee

William

I’m pretty eh on effingham. I’d say they’re better than macomb or carbondale

skrrt vonnegut

Frykorps, McDonaldland's most hardened soldiers.

Zach Pierce

How many times was BLACKSMITHING used by the RWNJs on Fox and OAN? Gutfeld did the “Holocaust sparked UTILITY” bit. Fucking human paraquat

Jon Lyons

I could see there actually being weird shit in the sky that nobody understands, but then the military internally fooling some of their own people into going out and saying it's alien stuff they have as a kind of bluff that they're holding alien superscience in the back pocket or at the very least have some kinda answers about it, or to make it all look stupid so people stop caring about something humiliating they can't do anything about.

Awesome Lawsome

what’s the ending song from todays episode?

Jon

Let’s say what Grusch says is true. We’ve hid it this long; admitting it now would mean admitting we’ve kept it to ourselves, which is just not an acceptable outcome for those involved. We aren’t going to find out shit.

Gibbs fka Leroy

Apparently Hunters (newly acknowledged) daughter is named "Navy" too lmao

Dick Van Sexel

YouTube vids as actual curriculum is scary. Something like a more streamlined Hell of Presidents would be a cool supplement to high school lesson plans though.

THEKILLERWHALE

Why would he blow him in Peoria and then go to Gurnee for seconds?

Jason Olaru-Hagen

Can u guys talk about how John hinckley the guy who shot Reagan is out of prison and making songs on YouTube now ? Just look up his name

etienne

to say what? that he's kind of a shell shocked dork who's trying to get his footing after decades in prison?

etienne

matt is on the record that his only mistake was using a .22 instead of a .357 and I think that basically covers it

Jason Olaru-Hagen

That’s fair. I don’t think it would be good to troll the guy or anything like that but it just felt surreal to me to see that. Like it made me think about how recent but also how far away the Reagan years seem as history (since I’m in my 20s I didn’t experience them)

etienne

I remember when people tried to make Based John Hinckley happen and it just fizzled out when it transpired that he's just some boring nerd who wants to make acoustic guitar songs. sorry my guy, your 15 minute is over

Michael

HEY LISLE, IL IS A NICE TOWN

Jaime Christley

that's your basic "buy the rumor, sell the news" going on right there

Sid B.

HELL YEAH GURNEE IS MY HOMETOWN

Caroline Molina

Felix listens to mitski!! Big week for mitski listeners

Robbie H.

To me the UFO hearings are like the early Parliament in England just giving up on forming government and instead just bickering about religious things and preparing for Jesus to come back and how that would probably fix everything.

Cam C

What an awesome joke to slip in too, she would write a song about driving a big rig off into the sunset lmao

Corey Reynolds

Is Amber coming back now that she’s finished with her book?

THEKILLERWHALE

No! There's dark meat and white meat.

Grock1199

Working at a liquor store in a wealthy retiree town and having to deal with ancient alcoholics everyday really makes me appreciate the Feinstein segments

The Children of Jack Acid

Remember when a staffer came out to Obama as "I'm gay" and Obama thought he said "I've got game?" Maybe this is the same thing. Like, maybe the guy said "I'm a male sex operator, real nice, and would it be okay and also alright if I put my whole cock in your mouth until I come?" and Obama thought he said "I'm Michelle Obama, your wife, and I'm wearing makeup to look white while I put a banana in a sock and bounce it on your gums." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9r2Xb1b09k

Scott

Shoutout to the rickety-assed American Eagle

Ryan

Most of my courses in college assigned supplement material like YouTube videos or pop media articles or podcasts. It’s effective as a learning tool to show course concepts in reality. But it’s bonkers to be showing PragerU to elementary school children. Practically brain-breaking.

Alex Manescu

Not necessarily right they could lie and say it’s been a secret because we don’t know if they’re evil or not

William

Adam and the Ants Dog Eat Dog

Adam Menendez

Mattie help me out. I need a source on the seven hour DeSantis flight PUHLEEZE

Blair Rancich

I feel like our government has degraded to the point that a lot of secret projects are probably leaking little, scary details. Which in aggregate, to someone with high clearance, could sound like UFO shit. In other words, the deep state created an urban legend that it promptly scared itself with and then leaked.

William

I would like to debate that

J Vladcliff

When it comes to aliens, all I need to ask is, do I still need to go to work, do I still need to pay my bills, if the answer is yes, then I don't fucking care.

Chris

I think people who are upset at UFO shit are just trying to fit in. Then you have old school UFO heads who are like, "ah you actually think that shit matters? I read an unsourced book in the 80s written by a guy who's friend was in the army who got kicked out for doing speed and saw greys! Nobody cared then!"

Ian Nelson

Extremely rare quad cities shout out

Garrat M

Look I live in Effingham and I’m eh on the place. But yeah, you’re right about Macomb and Carbondale. Although those aren’t high bars to clear

Reece Coren

what a difference a year makes

Chapo Bath House

I think the most realistic answer is that UFOs are a hoax or undisclosed military aircraft, but the Jaques Valle ultra terrestrial theory is the most fun, and most likely to turn Rogan back into normal dumb guy entertainment