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After a last minute guest cancelation leaves Will in a tight spot, Hesse Deni from Seeking Derangements and Movie Mindset comes off the bench to field another slew of questions sourced from advice columns. Q's include: What to do when your mom spends too much money on premium pornography? What if your child is in school with a dark psychopath? How to defend your home from the tooth fairy and much more.

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Blank

First, also yesss Hesse lfg

Yacobum

Post maxi

T

Stav has gotten too big.

m d

hesse undefeated goddess of podcasting amber could never

sarah

Hesse thee doll

Randy

Queen Hesse

Brandon

Hell yeah Hesse. Still thinking about “smoking on that shit that made the pictures small” like every day.

Kinetik Phantom

I’m always available as a last minute replacement. Can’t promise I’ll be good.

b-rar

So has your mom

Alex Stone

Whatever dude this shit’s boring

Alex Stone

A cupcake AND a candy bar

Reece Coren

hesse!!! 💓💓💓💓💓

Alex Stone

Quadruple deck fuckin’ burgers

Ian H. B.

sad to be missing what was likely to be another stav x chapo classic, but hesse is the 🐐 and i will never(!) wish her presence away

Brian West

Should have known to not rely on portly, Greek gentlemen.

Zach H.

Stav ditches. Felix is pitching Push/Pull to the 23rd streaming service. Probably Freevee. Is our big Midwestern son the glue of this show?

louis

Jacques pod when

Pierce

“Too big” for chapo very literal for stav

Erik Bourre

well last minute cancellation, that sucks.

🫶🏽

Hesse is everything ily girl

T

I commented on the last episode that I was 1 hour into Amber's audiobook. I listened the rest and I recommend it even more. You'll appreciate Amber if you pigs didn't before. I learned a lot and it's got me noticing things about current protests. But it's also funny and endearing.

T

Actually no

Proboscis Man

Stav and Hasan tried recreating the famous Greek vs Turk banter video. However, things got a bit heated and Stav is now recovering from tanking a Ki blast that destroyed half of downtown LA, hence why he had to cancel.

Mike Loudin

Hesse heads are FEASTING

Tim Mullen

Stav’s punishment should be doing that classic English tradition where people run down a hill after a roll of cheese. He probably wouldn’t even view it as a punishment if he can get some cheese out of it

Poppy Chulo

Stav turned out to be a real shit head. He has essentially disavowed cumtown and thinks he's George Carlin now for doing forty minutes of crowd work every show.

VirusWithShoes

That first question reminds me of when I worked at a telecom company and an old lady called in asking why her bill was in the quadruple digits. Someone had been ordering multiple porns on demand on a daily basis. She said it couldn't be true, because only her and her grandson lived there. The on demand orders were evenly split with half being softcore lesbian stuff. The other half was movies with titles like "Barely Alive Grannies 2." That is a 100% real title. I always wonder how that situation turned out.

Harry P. Ness

Hesse is on fire in this I love her

T

His current head shape is 💩

Josh

Parent one sounds legit to me. Y'all are parents? Kids do get messy playing outside; not everyone parents by iPad.

Melyss

We love Hesse dont we folks

Miles

I feel like saying fellate the giver would get that kid shunted into alternate school

Bob J

you got one Tom Myers appearance already, a lot of other podcasts would be grateful

K H

Felix has an onlyfans with all proceeds going to Hamas. MASHALLA!

T

That's easy for Hesse to do when she hasn't hurt her foot and gotten into a fight with her dad.

K H

Ipads break too easily to parent with them. Use a wooden spoon or a Nokia.

Watermane

Ironic, given that any room with Stav in it is an actual tight spot

mersham has some bad news

a cheap stav joke huh? well fine i did just he made it on to some 30 over 400 list

Jackson

This was an amazing episode. Adore Hesse and your dynamic is so good

skrrt vonnegut

you are now about to witness the strength... of queer knowledge

Rene

Should've called mulldog

James O'Queef

Stav is saturating the airwaves enough as it is, not disappointed at all. This was great. “Mainstream” is the term in education for putting special ed students in general education classes. Think that went over their heads.

T

Stav is saturating fat

Matthew Perpetua

if you do Fassbinder I am begging you to include Chinese Roulette!

K H

Nice. I'll pop my JO pants on and give it a listen.

K H

Oh my god. I will remember this comment.

K H

God. I'm such a weab pos... NO. Those are great movies. I am cultured. I am normal.

K H

He is probably clipping into the floor of the Adam Friedland show.

Yeahman

Hell no dude

JerJin

Hesse Heads we’re winning

Alex Maffucci

Who doesn’t love a Hesse episode

Bert

I'm a Hesse hussie

John Mitchell

Matt thought you were too old to pick on.

Keegan A

Mr. Bigshot too high and mighty to discuss his grandfather's exotic birds, I see.

Alberto Suarez

15 dollars audible from Google play. She's a bad bitch for getting that done. I'm enjoying it very much

features creatures

Movie mindset episode idea: all that heaven allows (sirk), Ali fear eats the soul (fassbinder), far from heaven (Todd Haynes). The second 2 are loose remakes of the first one and are all about love deemed inappropriate and immoral by the people around them. The meta-text being that rock Hudson was in the closet, fassbinder was a sinister bi-sexual who was banging the lead of his film, and Dennis quaid played a closeted gay man in the third.

Alberto Suarez

Can we connect somehow? You look amazingly good and evil. I'm jr quarked up but eventually........hmu

HarshMalarkey

Iffy about Italians being allowed on the show but I'll allow it

features creatures

Also if you do Walter hill you HAVE to include extreme prejudice, starring Nick nolte, Michael ironside and written by John milius. Under seen film. Would be a good double feature with southern comfort.

Dennis

The way I SCREAMED when you announced, it’s Hesse!!!! 😍👏😍👏😍

buttface

as if the episode with the intended guest would have been any more interesting

J.v.D

epHesseode

MB Szes

Spit take on "shake n bake meth and an Ani Difranco record" f man

Jerimiah

So Stav ditched Chapo for Barstool Sports?

Taxman

Hesse not knowing the step-mom stuck in the dryer bit is so funny to me in 2023

Smalls

Stav is fat AND unfunny

m@tt

Rumor is Barstool sweetened the deal with baclava. Why even try?

Jessica S

Love to hear Hesse, her laugh makes me laugh!

Andrew Cross

“My husband is dead. I don’t want to remarry. I only want to jack off to my four premium cable subscriptions”

Jessica S

It’s true, I try to spread it across phones, computer and the tv as well.

Watermane

he just T-poses between the episodes. Yep, sounds like my good friend Nick.

Scoot

Easter Bussy

Watermane

he blessed us with at least 2 tweets, bangers, many people would say

Emily Richardson

Fucking hilarious and a nice diversion from the seriousness of Israel/Gaza talk lately. not a complaint; I love the normal content too but this was nice and light. It was nice to hear Will laugh so hard after the last few months of hard shit.

Shiv

Sharing Hesse’s shock and confusion about stepmom in the dryer

Shiv

Same 🥰

Shiv

same

Watermane

I'm dying from the art sex guy

Elliot Matheny

Praying that you and she retain the childlike, Elysian innocence that has thus far shepherded you through the fields of Gommorha 🙏🏼

Praaguematic

the new special is shite anyway.

Emil

PATLABOR 2

Russell Sugden

Is “Hobson’s Choice” an expression Americans use? It’s a great movie BTW

Dan

32:31-35:43 Based on my experiences with hippy couples, I don't think that this letter was fake. I absolutely know people who started teaching their toddlers about body autonomy, and these are just the type of people to have their future home-schooled kids playing outside in the mud. This story checks out, unfortunately.

MLVF

Laughed so damn much during this ep. It all worked out

Robert Armstrong

To be fair, I came on here for a cheap “O Brother,” reference — this an honest joke.

Fingerless

semi-ironically believe there is a Big Incest conspiracy that is trying to push out and normalize incest. the explosion of step family porn is the spearhead of this effort.

Shiv

🥹🥹🥹 🙏🏽

Jan Meyer

I think a materialist analysis can also explain it: You can turn "normal" porn into more specialized and more valuable "Stepcest" porn simply by claiming it is. So why wouldn't people?

Nat

Protect Hesse at all costs

Hot Rod

“Mainstreaming” is another term for the inclusion of disabled students in a regular Ed classroom, rather than a separate classroom. If I had to guess that 6th grader has an IEP and likes to talk about extreme shit to freak people out but that’s it. Nothing burger.

Doug Cartel

the mom's just trying to burn as much cash to shrink her vile son's inheritance, I mean PornHub is free, come the fuck on. That's my take and I'm sticking to it

Luke Harrington

Stavvy: *unloads a clip into will* .... Stavvy: "who killed Chapo....?"

Warbs

Love Hesse! I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

Watermane

I Khamas I am looking at all the content

SoldierBlue

If you’re doing Pennies from Heaven and the Singing Detective do Edge of Darkness (has the nurse from singing detective, she was hot)

Tommer_man

PLEASE do Pat Labor (1 & 2)

Nott Hemon

Will go on Shuffle Up and Play

Karl Childers

in general there's a trend to decrease public sex ed while increasing access to every kind of porn, which averaged overall is guaranteed to increase abuse & make youg people more vulnerable. we livin in the epstein century now.

Karl Childers

its such a beautiful lie. sounds like an x files episode where the statue turns out to be haunted by a horny ghost.

Watermane

lots of love went into this piece of literature

Amadeus

Deeply offended as a Polak, It only took me 5 seconds.

Steve D

💯 my kids have similar classmates. Annoying, yes but they handle it way better than most adults who went to school when exclusion was the norm.

Horseloverfat

Fassbinder whips — watch merchant of four seasons for an all time miserable wretch husband

will michel

my laugh quotient (4x per day) was met within the first 10 minutes of this episode

Oliver Elliott

I feel duty bound to inform Will and Hesse that a life-size Vincent Price figure in costume from The Masque of the Red Death is on auction right now at Bonhams. Apparently made by an FX artist named “Rubber Larry.” I am not making this up.

Oliver Elliott

If you don’t know why I’m bringing this up, I strongly recommend checking out the Movie Mindset episode on Vincent Price.

NLC

Especially 2, oh man.

SPENCER PIBBLES

Stavros couldn't make it today because the Ole Country Buffet got restocked

Tommy Fushigi

This episode is really, really fun. Haven't laughed this hard at a chapo in a minute. Not cause the quality has dropped.or.anything this is just a really funny episode.

NoPrefect

I think you are right about the motorcycle gang, just wrong about which one: I'm pretty sure these kids were raised by Peckerwoods

NoPrefect

One of the greatest single lines

K102.1FM Mornings w/ Jonny Corndogs

Secret Hesse episode AND two more episodes of Hell of Presidents (From Eisenhower to Carter)? All on the same day? The content gods smile down upon us and work their magicks through their earthly representative, Mr. Wade! (Sorry to hear about the cancellation, but you all still manage to come through. Bravo)

Whistle Dog

More Hesse please! ❤️

stop watcherman

Stavros couldn’t find a microphone strong enough to carry his fat voice

HuffingGasInTheShed

I saw the fat rascal was on pardon my take today. That cuts deep

Penny

Hesse is vastly superior to any guest.

Axel

Can not wait for Will tirade on just how "pervie" this movie is.

Dustin Nelson

I was surprised how far it went, and that's hard for films to do to me

lake

Love how they just rattle off three dozen movies nobody has ever heard of

Colin C.

Hesse is always a delight. Great episode.

Austin G

Stav outed as Zionist co-conspirator; guilty of the worse offense of “fake friend” “got fake people showin' fake love to me Straight up to my face, straight up to my face” - Drake

MEAT CLOWN

This was actually funnier than the advice column episodes with Stav. Hesse made me laugh out loud multiple times 💅

sap

I miss matt :(

Drew McGill

Came here to say this. Just the best.

Steven-O

Thanks for referencing "The Swimmer".

Cameron Hauer

I'm guessing the unnamed problematic celebrity was Chappelle.

Bryan Williams

My suggestion for an actress episode is Isabelle Huppert. A 40-year career as a dime, she turns every film she's in into an Isabelle Huppert film.

jack flowers

tokyo godfathers is my favorite christmas movie

Alex B

We're living through history. This is the first mention of Skibidi Toilet on Chapo.

Hot Rod

Same. I’ve seen and heard younger autistic kids with IEPs say and do worse. They just drop words they know get a visceral reaction from people. Sterile lib parents are the worst, stg. Nothing is ever good enough for their baby Jessica.

em

Thank god no rich fat man. On the other hand, love Hesse

Mark Kreitz

Southern Comfort!! For the soundtrack alone! And that final scene at the Cajun hoedown. So good

Demented Avenger

I thought I was the only one who fellates the giver.

Eric Goss

At 30:46 Will catches himself right before completing the phrase 'the Easter Bussy'

jfk truther

Fuck corporate rats. American snitch culture.

Maxiumite

Hesse is the GOAT guest host

Jerimiah

Or a big fan of Cooter from Dukes of Hazzard.

k240d

The crying game 😂

Greg

Great ep, hesse so funny

veni

Jim Caviezel the clear favourite for the mystery celeb.

RG13

Hugs (with permission) to Great Aunt Hesse. Chaste kisses to Ol’ Uncle Will. Funnest episode in two months!

Declan Kennedy

love Hesse episodes, was just thinking recently after the SD episode about trying to get George Santos on the pod that a full spectrum Santos episode of Chapo would be a great excuse to get the SD crew back on too

RG13

Satan’s Brew by Fassbinder.

THEKILLERWHALE

Yeah, Stav's advice is usually meat-headed and not that funny. Hesse on the other hand has convinced me that I really do need therapy after this latest incident with my step-mom and the dryer.

katie

hesse, love ya babe

Pelican Grief

Yeah the Brooklyn Podcasters are unsurprisingly out of touch on this one. My suburban niece and nephew are grimey little mud urchins through and through.

Mike Bess

My 5yr-old learns so many new words when Hesse’s on! ❤️

BTULTRA

Fassbinder would be so goated guys

TowerOfJon

I know it’s not TV Mindset, but the original TV version of The Singing Detective is phenomenal – GOAT Michael Gambon performance, very cinematic, so much great/weird stuff going on. Peak Potter. (John Amiel one of those directors who did phenomenal, innovative work on British TV in the 80s and went on to direct absolute dogshit in Hollywood in the 90s. The Core!! See also Mick Jackson – A Very British Coup and Threads for TV, Volcano and The Bodyguard for Hollywood; and Martin Campbell, Edge of Darkness for TV, The Mask of Zorro and Green Lantern for Hollywood.)

joph

I cancelled my seeking derangements sub (no hate i just should really stop listening to podcasts) but after listening to this shit i instantly resubbed. Who was i kidding

Jed Levin

A fun Ep, Hesse saved the day! ❤️

Matthew Krueger

The Scrotum of an Art Conservator *He couldn't keep the fluid in the tube... Until... he couldn't get it out* I like Stav fine but there's no way he would have been as funny as Hesse was here. Best of all possible universes for this ep.

S.E. Nyarady

has anyone seen the hitch-hiker by Ida Lupino?

Kyle Cassidy

A Chapo/Patlabor crossover would be a lifetime high-point for me.

Amos Happ

Matt is irreplaceable, but in the interim I heartily nominate Hesse as the steady third mic. Right?

Hesse Deni

I love Edge of Darkness I showed the first ep to Noah and got him Darkness-pilled lol

Enoch

Pom poko mindset

Fernando

Don’t know why you didn’t invite Nick Mullen. He also got a special

john badal

My only problem with this episode is that it ever ended. This format should be regulated like a utility and guaranteed available in perpetuity

Jeemar

great ep, stav probably missed his ep because he ate his schedule for the day

Thomas Mullane

I agree with folks on here. Any episode that features will and hesse is always gold. It may have been a happy accident, but I'm here for it. I also love that hesse and me both had the same question about someone trapped in a dryer at the same moment. Nice work gents

MC Prescott

Skibidi toilet mentioned, killing myself

Cassandra-T

Hobson's Choice mention!!!!

Whucko Jaang

I have missed Matt, but this has been a nice run of shows.

jonah peters

Patlabor 2 / Perfect Blue MM..... mwah!

Katie Doyle

Just wanted to note that the wheelchair situation in airports is actually a serious problem for disabled people and air travel is already made more difficult by disability so I plead that ppl don’t use them unless they need them

SoldierBlue

How the hell have you watched Edge of Darkness? I only know it because I’m old. I was impressed enough when you dropped Pennies from Heaven and the Singing Detective.

Scott

Got a genuine lol from me at the O'Doul's joke

Maicol

Good ep! They got great chemistry.

Maicol

Bro was too busy sucking off Joe Rogan :/

Smink Tanover

My kids have 100% done the "it's my body I do what I want" thing about baths and brushing their teeth. Not fake folks.

Dan

I really want to see Excalibur on movie mindset

Daniel

It might be the loud talking but Hesse has the voice of an angel and Will has a laugh that could make the Scrooge smile. Phenomenal combination

Nathan Explosion

i read that one on the wild and had some very deep concerns. CPS is absolutely in play for that dude.

Max

PATLABOR 2 MENTIONED

Bryan Peifer

Okay, I'm sure we've all experienced dealing with a person who craves the approval of authority and will sell you down the river just to obtain strokes. Hence the person who is salivating to tell on speed racer.

JJJ

More like Mr. Too Damn Wide

Rhys Hayes

God knows why Felix is out there pitching anything - that absolutely abominable 'Fighting in the Age of Lonliness' series he put out on YouTube proved he's got nothing to offer outside the irony-drenched environment of Chapo. The man can not do sincerity, or really anything except this podcast.

Dominic Preciso

Y'all are over the edge on this one. We fucking love it!!!

Josh Benson

Please do Bogdanovich! So important!

Steve D

100% that’s why it’s important to have teacher and dental hygienists and other positive professionals in your kids life telling them that stuff because they sure as shit ain’t listening to me.

Jimmy McMillan

Hesse was hilarious. Stavy wouldn't have misunderstood the stuck in a dryer porn scenario to be them actually stuck in a closed dryer, tumbling around like in a spundgebob cartoon 😆

John Antifa

Hearing you two workshop ideas for Movie Mindset season 2 got me so hyped for what you have in store for next year. I say this with not a shred of irony, but listening to the Movie Mindset episodes were literally some of the highlights of the my year, because through them I was encouraged to seek out films I don't think I would have ever caught up with otherwise. Watching some of the films you all covered has been such an enriching experience for me. I am wholly committed to movie mindset now and forever!

Graham Saunders

1000% the whittling celebrity is Tim Allen

Gwen Hunt

I usually miss when Felix isn’t on but Hesse and Will are so funny together

Jake the Human

Hesse and Will make the perfect combo. Also speaking of Satoshi Kon, Paprika has a 4K release coming out in a few months that you can look forward to, I think he’d make a fantastic Movie Mindset episode

SoldierBlue

I’ve been trying to think of a good movie you might not have seen. How about “The Man Who Stole the Sun”?

AshaP

I love hesse.