Faith, Draft 1, 1 5, outline, CH 07 (Patreon)

Faith in the Family, Commentary, CH 7

Where Thomas learns some of his duties as a Sigma Theta Brother, and something might be going on between two of the brothers.

One of the main issues that came to light in Ben’s draft is that there are so many frat brothers that it’s tough to keep track. Unfortunately, that isn’t something we can change, sue to a rule of the world, so we are going to have to find a way to ensure no one gets lost in the shuffle.

This is also one of the rare chapters where Ben actually trimmed the fat in it more than he added.

Another issue, which is common in single, narrow, PoV, is how to convey what other characters are going through in an organic and with enough information that aspect of the story can work. Here we have something between two brothers hinting at more. I’d written the scene playing off the fact they would switch language when they noticed Thomas was there, only to forget Thomas had taken French in school. When Ben pointed that out I figured he’d move the scene to a bedroom and have Jacques close the door, but instead he made use of the fact Thomas partially understand what’s being said to introduce possible misleading information.

So that’s it on the comments, I hope you enjoy the file.

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