Stepping Up, Draft 1, CH 37 (Patreon)

Leave the dungeon proved easy, or so Tibs was told when he woke up in his bed, in that Jackal threatened the cleric’s life if she even thought of laying her hand on Tibs. Harry had been called, and there was an argument about the stupidity of not healing a party member when given the chance. How Jackal had a conversation about Tibs with Harry and not lie, Tibs had no idea; and other than grinning, Jackal didn’t say anything. The others just shook their head with a baffled or amazed expression.

Tibs decided he’d asked once he felt better.

* * * * *

Tibs curled in on himself. His stomach hurt. His body was sore. He wanted it to end. His friends were arguing about him, about what they should do. Someone proposed a healing potion, Carina suggested putting an end to it and waiting for the next time, or the next run.

Tibs wanted to agree with her, but he didn’t have the strength to speak.

Jackal came to his defense, shutting down any idea of not doing this as they’d agreed to. Something about ending it only if it looked like Tibs had death over his shoulder would Jackal agree to end it.

Tibs agreed with Khumdar that Jackal wouldn’t recognize death’s arrival if it showed up holding a torch and screaming Tibs name as loud as it could. Tibs didn’t hear all of Jackal’s reply as unconsciousness claimed it again, but it sounded like Jackal would take down death if it thought it could touch Tibs.

* * * * *

“Careful,” someone whispered.

“They don’t stand so close,” Carina replied.

Tibs was wobbling. No, he was in someone’s arms and they were moving.

“I would, but it’s this or be seen,” Jackal replied.

“Being heard,” Khumdar hissed a whisper, “will also bring this to an end. I can hide us from sight, but darkness does little for sound.”

“I can’t keep it from moving away,” Carina whispered after a moment of silence. Tibs suspected Jackal had looked at her expectantly. Air could do stuff with sounds, Tibs was sure of it.

“Khumdar,” Jackal whispered. “How much further?”

“Not too much, I believe. Torus has nearly left. If we are by the woods, we should be far enough for the town’s torches and lamps to no longer be visible.”

* * * * *

“Tibs.”

“I’m okay,” he mumbled.

“Tibs, wake up.”

He sat on something cool. The ground, he realized.

“I’m awake,” he mumbled.

“I think it might be too far gone to answer,” Carina said.

“I have answered,” Tibs mumbled again. Why weren’t they listening to him?

“Does he need to be awake for this?” Jackal asked.

“I do not know,” Khumdar replied, “but I am confident that for him to feel like he is near death, he must be alive.”

Was he dead? He couldn’t be dead. He was hearing his friends.

But they weren’t responding to him.

Was this was being dead felt like?

No, no, he couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t leave his friends behind, they needed him. He wasn’t done. He hadn’t avenged Mama. No, this couldn’t have gone bad this quickly. He had been fine. Hungry, but fine!

He needed to move, to get up, get his friends to take him back before it was too late, give him food. He’d wait until another time.

His body didn’t respond to his command to move. It sat there, on the cool ground, back against what had to be the trunk of a tree if they were at what was left of the woods.

He’d failed.

He was dead.

No. He wouldn’t accept that. He would move. He was going to move. He put all his will behind the command and launched himself forward.

* * * * *

“You should be more careful,” a deep, soothing voice said, strong hands stopping his motion forward.

“Where am I?” Tibs looked around, but there was nothing to see. “Is this death?” he asked, his determination failing him.

“No, you are quite alive, for a short while longer, at least. I will say, I did not think you would come this soon, and with your body in such poor condition. Did you believe I could fix it?”

Come this soon? “You’re Darkness,” Tibs realized and focused in front of him, trying to make him out.

“I am, but unlike what many of your kind, and others, believe, I hold no sway over death. That is quite beyond everyone and everything. So, you cannot rely on me to save you.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Tibs said. Why couldn’t he see Darkness? With the others, there had always been a concentration of what they were among the rest. Indistinct in cases, but visible.

“Good. Then I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Child of Humans. What do you seek to hide?”

“I’m not hiding anything,” Tibs replied, and grew worried. If he couldn’t make out the form of Darkness, how was he going to see the shadow of the element within them?

The chuckle spread around him. “Oh, you do. It is in the nature of your kind to hide so much. It is why I enjoy them. Very few in your realm are as fond of their secrets as humans. Share one with me.”

“A secret?” Tibs relaxed. Maybe he was trying too hard, getting in his own way. “Is that the price I have to pay?”

“No, I do not believe you are seeking that kind of connection with me. Consider it a courtesy, from one… friend to another.”

“I don’t have secrets,” Tibs answered.

“Now, there is no need to lie. You are keeping what you can do a secret from the people you work for, the guild, are you not?”

“But you know about it. I didn’t think it counted.” Even if he didn’t focus, he couldn’t make out Darkness’s form or the shadow within it.

“You are correct, but there must be others.”

“Nothing I wouldn’t answer. Just ask me a question.”

“That… is not how I am. I do not interrogate, I accept. People of all kinds come into me to tell their deepest secrets and fears. I do not need to seek them out. I open my arms and welcome them.”

Arms. Darkness still held him. “I don’t know how to tell what’s a secret then, at least one you don’t already know.” He looked where he felt the hands on his arms. He thought he could just make out the form of them.

“Then think of it this way. Is there something you have never volunteered, and that no one has asked you about?”

Tibs looked up, his search for the form of Darkness derailed. The question brought up an answer which had him swallow hard. He hadn’t even realized the something he didn’t think about, avoided thinking about, was a secret.

Tibs was surprised that the lack of glee in the waiting silence. Bards always spoke of people who sought secrets as rejoicing upon discovering that one long sought for, and Tibs had expected Darkness, the collector of all secrets, to be the same. But there was only patience.

Tibs swallowed as the words fought him. “I— I.” He closed his eyes so tightly he saw spots of light. Maybe this was something he wouldn’t have answered if asked. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to answer, he realized. It was how it made him feel.

“I don’t remember Mama.” He remembered lying next to her. Her comforting voice, the coldness of her dead body. But he didn’t remember her.

“Thank you.”

Tibs opened his eyes, and the spots took seconds to vanish, then all was Darkness again. “That’s not enough, is it?”

“What you seek, Child of Humans, is not something I can give freely, but it is within your reach, should you but find it.”

“Why are each of you different?”

“Because we are.”

“But people are different because we’re born to different mothers. Were you born?”

“We… came to be. So long ago, I doubt any of us remember the exact moment, or how it happened. We are older than any of you, humans and otherwise, can comprehend. We were old when the first of your realm figured out how to contact us. And we were different then. Some of those who have sought me, and think themselves wise, tell me that I came to be when their kind reached for me. That I am the result of their desires. They are wrong. We are independent of your realm as it is of us.”

“But your essence is in my world.”

“Yes, but is it not something I willed. I could not remove it if humans upset me. It is not how things happen. If there is a method to it, it is beyond me as well. So, I do not know why my brethren differ from me, or I from them. It simply is.”

Tibs groans. “Why do I keep doing this?”

“Doing what?” Darkness asked, sounding more curious than it had before.

“Thinking you’re all the same. I keep forgetting small details. Like how Khumdar said he didn’t see it as a shadow, but as a brighter spot.” And there it was. In its faint light, Tibs could make out the form of Darkness. A man, tall, imposing. Not at all like what he imagined a seeker of secrets would look like, small with a crooked nose. But then, Darkness didn’t seek secrets, it gathered them.

“Understanding doesn’t always come quickly,” Darkness said. “Often, it is like a secret you do not realize you were given until much later. Sometimes too late to be of use, but not always.”

Tibs took the mildly glowing shape, and it disappeared with him. Making a space between fire and earth. His reserve growing to allow it. His surroundings didn’t change, and it disappointed Tibs, until he remembered Darkness wasn’t hiding anything; he was within them.

“You said that you don’t go looking for secrets. Then why is Khumdar so set on finding them?”

“I shall keep this secret. If you are determined to find it, I believe you will be able to. You have shown yourself to be quite capable. I have high hopes for you. We all do. Now, ready yourself.”

* * * * *

Tibs curled in on himself as pain hit him hard. How had he forgotten how hungry he was? “Food.”

“Tibs!” Carina said, and he opened an eye to see her next to him. “You’re alive!”

“Unfortunately,” he grumbled.

She pressed something to his lips. “It’s not food, but it should help. Mez paid for it from our loot. He figured it would help.”

He sipped, and immediately the pain receded until he could stand it. “I’m still hungry.”

“I guess healing potions don’t replace food,” Jackal said. “Good to know.”

Tibs struggled to his feet. “You know,” he told Khumdar, “I don’t think all this running around looking for secrets is something Darkness is making you do, he’s happy waiting for them to come to him.”

“That sounds like it worked,” Carina said.

“Did I not say secrets are what brought me to Darkness in the first place?” Khumdar said innocently. “I suppose it must have slipped my mind.”