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💙 Be Kind To Our Boys 💙 (Patreon)

Published:
2021-03-21 15:04:39
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

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"We need to tell boys and men that it's okay to cry over the little things too. Cry about failing a driving test, cry about feeling embarrassed, cry about your friend letting you down. There's nothing manly about making yourself unwell. If you need to cry, you can."

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Comments

Viltaryn

Thank you 💙💙💙

___ ToT

Only makes us weak

iceknight55

Thanks tea, its always nice when someone cares. (^_^)

APerson

Naaa I'd rather scream into the void.

Coby-O

This is something I believed in for many many years and when I did cry, I felt weak and embarrassed. My family would attack me for crying growing up because I was a boy, but I just couldn’t help it and still can’t when I do cry. This belief affected me badly when I became an adult because “now that I a man, I can’t cry at all” which lead to me having difficulties expressing my feelings positively and hating on myself when I felt down let alone cry. Basically, I verbally, emotionally, and mentally abused myself for “feeling sad or down like a woman.” It wasn’t until that I finally got help from others and especially my family that crying is healthy. My family has come around to understand crying sometimes is the best way to express feelings and relieving stress, and the reason my mom and dad were so against my brother and I crying was because they were told not to as well. They were raised in different times but like society now know how important it is. Though I don’t do it as much as I used to, when it’s appropriate it, I cry and it helps a good bit.

Blindluck92

I'm actually pretty good about this one. The "men don't cry" lesson was never drilled into me, so I cried about literal spilled milk when I was a kid. Of course these days, I cry about my cat's declining health as I snuggle her. 😥

Garrett Gregory

I wrote a comment on a Facebook post that addressed this. It’s quite lengthy and it alludes to some very controversial matters, but I would very much like to know what people who have this to say about male vulnerability would have to say in response to it. I would love to share it here, but this comment section might not be considered appropriate for argumentation, so while I wouldn’t agree with that consideration, I’ll only share the comment if Tea okays me to do so.

J.T. Packer

I think I speak for a *few* dudes when I say some of us kinda... forgot how to do emotion? Like, it's not just crying that's seemingly banned. Happiness, fear, and especially anger and sadness, if we Express that, seems like it closes a lot more doors than it opens. If you're not a stoic automaton, you're either weak or dangerous.

Timothy Shaw

Now I actually disagree and hear me out. For forever males suppress there emotions, and we do let them out we just don't let them out in public. But we also think differently. A females brain is more emotional due to different hormones. Where as a males is less emotional due to again hormones. And if we fight that we get what we have now whiners. We need to teach males when it is okay to let their emotions again not that it is okay. We need to teach where to cry, and not that you can. Because the right time too cry is with your bestfriend, your significant other. And there is more to this and this post is kinda jumping around but I just woke up and saw this.

The Jolly Dane

Thank you so much for this, Tea. Thank you for paying attention, and not condemning us by default, especially carrying a past of abuse at the hands of men, like you do. That's no small thing.

Michael Miller

Thank you so much Tea. Your overall positivity and kindness is wonderful.

Joel

Yes ma'am

Zack Parks

“And you can cry/Ain’t no shame in it” - Will Smith

Pyrocent
>>56046217

I agree, the ability to have a stiff upper lip and to be a confident leader should not be understated

Camilo Iribarren

Thank you so much, Tea. There is no shame for us to express our emotions.

Sheridan Dancer

Recently I found myself crying more than usual. Nice to hear that is justified.

NotMyName
>>56046006

I kind of feel similarly. It's not like I don't feel, but more like I forgot how to navigate emotions, like I lost a map, and I might just stumble into them at some points. IDK how the internal emotional space works. And yeah, I also wonder if pushing one emotion down pulls the others with it.

Evan Gentry Moore

While I believe in a good cathartic cry, I feel I do need to point out that the word "crying" has another usage, and that's as a synonym for whining. Again, crying because you have an emotion that needs to be expressed that way - whether that be anger, frustration, happy, sad, mourning, or whatever - is fine and should be done. Whining, however, is when you've had that cry and feel entitled because you've had that cry. If we're all honest with ourselves, we know the difference between crying and whining. The act of crying is productive, whining is not. And just to be thorough, for the 3rd time, if you're feeling heightened emotions and your eyes begin to burn, let those tears flow. Allow yourself to feel, and then allow yourself to feel better.

Anonymous

I don't know if its because i was told not to cry but i just kinda don't express it that way. Its also frustrating when people expect you to show more emotion then you do. (Not saying what tea said was bad just an input) just dont feel like ya have to i guess is the short of it.

June

Thank you

Pyrocent

I might not agree entirely, but thank you for looking out for everyone, it's truly a wonderful thing to do

German Wulf3

I've always found it very difficult to open up to others, and I've fallen into the trap of "Real men don't cry" more times than I can count. I've been working through it recently and, well, basically trying to rewire my brain. Thank you for the positive reminders tea, your kindness truly knows no bounds.

Exl Kaldra

As a male i have cryed about my friend letting me down at the winter dance and then got several girl asking me to to dance with them to try to cheer me up. This was back when I was super depressed, my only friend was a drug addict, and anything and everything would set me off. I then used crying to get extensions on or flat out not have to do homework because when a girl cries in school the are told to go to the restroom and clean themselves up. But when a 9-17 year old boy cries do to ungodly amounts of strees, anxiety, and depression most female teachers will be like you have to the end of the semester to get that done or if it was like my 10 page paper I just did not have to turn it in. Note I can look back and laugh at that now but back then it was a living hell for me and the school did not tell my parents that this was going on until I was 14. And even after my parents knew I still did not get the mental health treatment I probably needed and probably still need its a wounded I did not end it back then. It was not untill I was 17 that I would find teacupaudio.

Exl Kaldra
>>56050670

The worst thing is I have eczema that crops up around my eyes and makes it physically painfully to cry.

Jeremy Knight

I haven't cried since I was 16 and it was over us moving. This year I cried over someone making an adorable asmr video where the listener is a baby while she's the Mommy, I don't know why but something about a Mom loving her child no matter what really teared me up.

Wes H

I Don't know how

Black.Devil

I disagree with crying it doesn’t help but you should share your feelings only if the person is ready or show their feelings in different besides talking

Anonymous

Be steel when others need strength, be a spark when others need fire, be water when tempers need to be quenched, but most importantly, be yourself when you need you.

Maxfield Grassy

Enough said. Toxic masculinity is a huge problem. We need to start telling men they are allowed to have feelings.

Flurio

Well, back for a day, and this hit right home. I think I never had a particular reason to get into this kind of thinking, but I recently had an incident where all my psychological issues I thought I kind of dealt with came up again, and I had a breakdown and started to cry... and I don't really know why, but without every really thinking this way, I felt weak for crying, and hated me for it... and at the same time, I hated me even more for feeling weak because I cried... It was weird lol

Dalton Remy

So true. I remembered feeling some much rage and sorrow built up in me. Then whenever I let it out I was often shut down. Shit was emotionally exhausting. Thank God I've grown from that time and accepted my feelings

Bigboss

Men dont cry

Pyrocent
>>56057143

I don't entirely disagree, but I do think crying can be a helpful way to let out a lot of stress or pent up emotion all at once. I do agree that you shouldn't just do it whenever though

Nathan Erickson

You bet I cried when I failed my driving test the first time. And it was over a stupid mistake on my part. The worst part was I had to wait a month to try again since I live in a busy area.

Logan sackett
>>56094202

110%. It doesnt help and no matter what they say every other guy that sees it will absolutly judge you for it. Crying is only acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.