why has this sadness chosen me? (lyrics + explanation) (Patreon)

hope you're enjoying the new demo.. check back to yesterday's post, or I've also attached it here for your downloading/listening pleasure. such a gorgeous response so far, thank you & plz keep any kind of feedback coming! 

so I've spoken about this song a little bit on here before, because I posted a voice memo of it a while back, in it's infancy.. so apologies if I'm repeating myself! in a nutshell, this song is about trying to find logic in sadness, a logic I don't think exists; it's a song trying to depict the mind in it's most hopeless state. when I'm feeling super, it seems obvious that emotions like sadness and anger don't choose their victims.. but when I'm all consumed by it, I don't see it so clearly. self-pity takes me in its grips and suddenly i'm sat there on the floor like "WHY MEEEEEE?!?!!?!!"

the first verse mentions friends - "it feels like all my friends just don't give a f*ck". of course, this perception can be clouded by the sadness itself.. when i'm blue I often think this, only to realise on my better days that really I'm surrounded by friends & family who love me to bits, even when that's not so obvious. and I know that's the same for all of us! the second verse is about powering through.. "I just made a coffee like I do everyday" - it's not a normal day, but I desperately want to make it feel that way.

the chorus of this song is pretty literal, nothing toooo cryptic:

why has this sadness chosen me?

Why has this sadness chosen me

'cause I played by all the rules

now I'm taken for a fool

can't you see?

..there's the self-pity kicking in with "now I'm taken for a fool". definitely feeling hard-done by here.

verse 2 starts out with a weird line (and a little laugh which makes me CRINGE why did the happen) - "I tried living as good as the neighbourhood priest". at this moment I'm still in the midst of it, trying to see life as a black & white set of rules: be good, be happy! be bad, be sad! ..needless to say THIS ISN'T EVER THE CASE but alas, this verse is naive. "I tried making sense of this horrible beast" - lol, good luck. the second part of verse2 takes a more desperate turn - "someone answer me please, tell me what I can do".

I wanted the bridge/middle8 of this song to be a moment of clarity and resolution, when you pull yourself out of the hole, you're not there yet but the light is in sight.. 

"maybe I could just rest in the knowledge 

that some day it'll be over"

..at the risk of sounding patronising/cheesy, let me just say: it will pass. it always passes. and so the final chorus twists around to accept that - "there's nothing I can do, I think it's just passing through". your sadness is never a part of you! it's something separate that comes (weh) but then goes! (woo).

would love to hear any thoughts you guys about any of this.. what do you do to pick yourself up when you're down? or do you just let it wash over you? what's your personal approach to the whole emotion.. or do you try your best not to think about it? :) let's chat.

mucho love

OG

xxxx