'parallel lines' (lyrics + explanation) (Patreon)

hey gorgeous people. 

thank you SO much for the beautiful reaction to your february demo, ‘parallel lines’. it really was something to read through your comments and see the connection some of you had with it.. honestly, I sound like a cheeseball but at the end of the day THAT’S WHY I DO THIS TING!

I thought it was about time to shed some light on the lyrics of this song.. (oops, definitely said I’d do this on friday, sorry). this song lyrically hits on something that is pretty difficult to talk about but I think this is the perfect space to do it just that (just a heads up; this post is for sure darker than the usual content on here).

so a couple years ago I was sexually assaulted at a party. bleghghgh. a tale as old as time; drunk boy + drunk girl, drunk girl resists but isn’t taken seriously & stays quiet for a while before having the courage to fight back. he was a friend, someone in music I’d worked with.. so it was a messy & confusing time to say the least. I felt so rubbish for weeks after, totally worthless.. it must have been my fault somehow, etc etc. 

I think once the initial shock had passed a second wave of hurt kind me; while i’d been going through it all & reliving the night over and over, he’d lived on as normal, totally un-phased; ‘you carry on, like nothing even happened’. I wanted to focus on the contrast between the two experiences - ‘different lives’ but also highlight how hard it can be to move on when the person is still in your wider circle of friends & people you know - ‘on parallel lines’.

now over 2 years on, writing this song was therapeutic. I wanted to look back on it all & be kind to myself - ‘now I see / that it had nothing to do with me’. 

ANYWAY. gross. things are good now, I trust people again, I’m quick to call people out when I notice them making other people uncomfortable. because i’ve been there, I think we all have in some way or another! sending ALL my love out to anyone here who has been hurt or abused or manipulated, physically or mentally. it sucksSSSS.. there’s no two ways about it. but finally speaking about it sure did help me, even in this small way. some day I hope to have the ladyballs to confront this guy & let him know what he put me (and others, no doubt) through.. and maybe he’ll see it all from the other side. ‘next time will you think of the other person?’.

xx