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why am I like this (lyrics explained, anxiety explored) (Patreon)

Published:
2018-05-22 00:09:45
Imported:
2026-06
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Downloads

  • 'why am I like this' (demo).mp3

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Content

yeah! it's all in the vid, so grab a cuppa.


lyrics:

Last night I smoked a cigarette

My dad would have been so upset

then we got tattoos by the coast 

and i stood there just like a ghost

…

maybe i’m an old soul trapped in a young body

maybe you don’t really want me there at your birthday party

i’ll be there in the corner, thinking right over

every single word of the conversation we just had

…

why am i like this?

..

I saw a girl crying on the train

gin and tonic from a can to ease the pain

i never asked if she was OK

she just got up and walked away

it feels like looking down from the ceiling above

never in the moment, never giving enough

let’s go out and shout the words we never said

i got my mistakes on loop inside my head


...thoughts below! xx

Files

Previews only

why am I like this

Comments

Drew Tepper

If you want to chat hmu... 2 things, in general: 1) ‘expect’ the racing thoughts (at least for now), but try to not let them grab an emotional toehold on your brain 2) When they do, as obvious and silly as it sounds, try to remind yourself that no emotions are ‘better’ or ‘worse’ , they (and you) just ‘are’(i.e. anxious, what if, fear, panic, sadness, exhaustion, anger, guilt...etc) when you start getting frustrated with the feelings that can be triggered by (and/or from) the racing thoughts, it makes them linger #greatsong even longer and have more weight/gravity. God speed ✌️♥️

Tyler May Media

Good to hear, Orla! Therapy can be a wonderful thing that helps you realize poor patterns and adjust to better behaviors. I haven't had any for about a year now, but I started a mental health podcast that gives me basically the same comforty feeling that therapy does haha! So I relate when you say that you're already getting that therapeutic benefit by talking about mental health and getting therapy. It's funny how just talking can help so much. I'm finishing up a counseling degree and these things are always so fascinating in how complex yet simple they can be.

Janaki Nagarajan

I'm excited you're talking about this song because the first time I heard it, it spoke to something inside me. As a person who is kind of constantly in a state of anxiety, overthinking and feeling like I don't belong/can't handle what's asked of me, the repetitive "why am I like this?" of the chorus stopped me in my tracks because oh. my. god. how many times have those words played over and over in my own brain, just like that, tired of overanalyzing people and situations and sick of being "like this". It's validating to feel like, hey! someone made my brain into a song! I consider myself an anxious person. I always have been, even as a kid - crippling social anxiety that I've slowly tried to coax myself out of (though it always lingers in the background) and weird severe phobias, not to mention just a general sense of constant anxiety and the occasional panic attack. I try to control people more than I should. I freak out when things are uncertain or don't go how I feel they need to for things to be "right". My anxiety has, at certain points, gotten so bad I've just felt like giving up entirely and sunk into depression. I would hear some kind of alter ego of myself yelling abusive things at me in my head. I had some really bad experiences with therapy my parents dragged me to as a kid that's made me reluctant to really try it again, not to mention that in America you are most likely going to be paying $150+ per session, out of pocket. I don't know if this is exactly the kind of anxiety you've experienced but this article and associated TED talk (<a href="https://themighty.com/2016/05/ted-talk-neil-hughes-walking-on-custard/)" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://themighty.com/2016/05/ted-talk-neil-hughes-walking-on-custard/)</a> rang sooooo true to me, and spoke to something deep inside me that never made much sense. I was so moved I even bought that guy's book, which, full disclosure, I haven't finished, but the parts I've read have been interesting, illuminating, and most importantly actually helpful in a way that I haven't found much else to be. Worth a read at least, for anyone who suffers from recursive, anxious thoughts.

Jamiinx

I relate to this song so bad... was so into it ever since you put the first part on instagram

Matt Beattie

I relate a lot with this song, I spend far too much of my time obsessing over the little things, I regularly replay conversations in my head where I feel I've said the wrong thing or come across poorly; I will spend hours thinking about how people will have thought about what I said, despite the fact that if someone said something similar to me I would probably just dismiss it. Kudos for you being proactive in getting help, I've spent years in a sort of denial about admitting I have any problems, it took being put on report at work before I was willing to admit I had depression. This meant on top of trying to sort out my other problems I had the additional stress and anxiety of trying to handle what was going on at work. I tried a couple of anti-depressants and just had too much trouble with the side effects for me to feel it was worth continuing with them. I've now been doing therapy for a little over 6 months and I feel that has helped quite a bit, I am by no means fixed and I'm sure there's a way to go before I reach that but it has helped put some things in perspective. I got therapy via my works employee assistance program and after the free sessions they were willing to fund ran out I've been self funding it; to my mind the £40 a session is worth it and I gather the wait times for NHS aren't great.

everett

this was lovely. can't wait to hear about the production!!!! i love that stuff the most most

Gaëtan Perrault

You have literally struck a chord with this song. Just look at those comments.

Matt

Therapy is so helpful to those that go and would be helpful to a huge population that doesn't go. There's a stigma around therapy that only people who have hit rock bottom go. I vividly remember standing in a park at 2AM, tears streaming down my face yelling into the sky at a god I didn't even believe in for not helping me get better. There was no need for things to get that bad. Therapy helps anyone who has any room for improvement, and we all have room for improvement. I firmly believe most people should see a therapist on at least a monthly basis. We don't realize just how easy it is to learn new strategies that help lead a life both personally happier and more productive. We don't have to be broken to learn to be better.

Signe A

hey orla. I just got discharged from the youth psychiatric unit for the third time this year.. today I'm supposed to be celebrating my birthday. "why am I like this" is literally me (ew, basic, im sorry) in every way imaginable and the only thing getting me through today is listening to it on repeat. a bit out of context, I apologize, but - THANK YOU <3

Connor

Oh you are an angel aren't ya? Totally totally know how you feel with the anxiety, it's SO on/off and sometimes it's absolutely nothing, yet sometimes it's a blanket that shrouds your entire day and nothing feels right. But you can't weigh up your feelings against other people's and come out with the conclusion that your feelings or your story is worth any less/more than anyone else's. Nobody's suffering has any less or more value than anyone else's, it's all so personal and ironically everyone has that same guilty feeling of their feelings not being 'bad' enough to talk about it. So proud of you gal, for everything. xx