demo no.69: I lied (Patreon)

wow. had I realised the demo number we were on I might have written something a little less SAD and a bit more SEXY - but alas, here we are. as has become customary in the secret demo club, your december demo is a stripped, acoustic song, this time called 'I lied' (or alternative name I toyed with 'total fantasy', which I like too).

I was stuck for what to write about this month and a couple weeks back put up a patreon callout for song ideas. thanks to everyone who left a comment - there was a plethora of thought & stories to mine through & I've saved a lot for the future. I really appreciate your openness and willingness to share! this song was written based on 3 of the comments you left - I've got another post coming tomorrow where I'll go into proper detail on which comments they were and how the song came about. :)

for now - hope you enjoy! as always plz let me know what you think. there's been a lot of new signups to the secret demo club this month (welcome!) so if you're unsure on how to access the track you can stream it here on this post on the patreon website or mobile app (where u can save it offline, too) or download the attached mp3, for keepsies.

 (ps: apologies for a couple of slightly fizzy points in the audio of this one - I recorded it live on 3 mics and realised after the fact that due to some bad placement they were slightly out of phase w one another, something I'd managed to avoid in the past. it's not too noticeable overall but just wanted to flag if you hear something strange! every day's a school day aye - it was interesting to figure it out & good to avoid it next time!).

lyrics:

I always laugh at the wrong time

trying to fill all the silence

your parents hate that about me

it’s fine, they’re right, it’s annoying

now it’s the end of a year

feels like an eye for an eye

I feel reflective, I’m feeling reckless, I’m thinking back over everything

I died

when i told you that i loved you but I lied

it was just easier to say

then the moment ran away

all the lies you know

overwrite the truth i never told

look at me straight in the eye

tell me that you’ve never bent the truth

just to protect me, just a white one, just a small one?

then a big one, and I’m tangled, coming undone

it’s addictive! rewriting the story

with a focussed fixation

I’m just a coward

with an optimistic mouth and a big imagination

I died

when i told you that i loved you but I lied

it was just easier to say

then the moment ran away from me

cue the sigh from the audience!

I died

when i told myself i was fine but I lied

it was just easier to say

then the moment ran away

all the lies I know overwrite the truth i never told

with every rule I break

every chance I take

god I get further away

from you, and closer to total fantasy x2

you died

when you told me that you loved me but you lied

it was just easier to say

it started that day

with all the lies we know

they overwrite the truth we never told