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Chapter 41: You have Chosen... Legendary! (Patreon)

Published:
2021-01-18 04:17:21
Edited:
2021-01-23 01:36:49
Imported:
2026-06
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Edited at 1:40am on 23rd January! Just did some improvements following on from the previous Chapter. Also, huge thanks to everyone that is supporting me! Really appreciate it so much.All the best,James

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Cymi

Otto! and fun~

reji

Honestly, it's so annoying that James like little kiddo. He supposed to be strategist, but no... "Oh, I entered water? There is monsters everywhere! Behind me like half town citizens entered water to battle to the death! What I will do? I will play with my skills! Not test them, but play. Oh, Otto's Mother is Kraken? Hm.. What will I do? Ask about weakness? Ask about advice? Yeah, hell no, he's teleported me, will I wait my party? Of course not!" etc etc

Brian J. Nordon

Thanks for the feedback, I'll be curious to see if this is the general consensus, or if others are okay with the tone. Either way, thanks for reading.

reji

I'm ok with reading, I'm not ok with inconsistency between how you portrait him, and how he act. He's not strategist at all, he's ignoring reconnaissance, he's ignoring positions, he's ignore planning, he's ignore thinking. James can be protagonist as he is, rash, quick, preserving. Just don't let his friends call him as cold-blooded rational stoic genius which he is not at all. May be he changed a lot from Tournament?

BMcC

Maris only taking him seriously when Otto's lineage is revealed to her XD

Brian J. Nordon

This perspective is good, thank you. I think I need to go back and rework a few things. What I'm thinking is that I need to explain the scene at the beach better. The Faction aren't going into the water with him, and he didn't explain his plan to them... which means the readers don't know what is in my head. That's my bad. That said, James is still in character and I still see him to be more analytical and strategic than his counterparts. He's never been cold-blooded or a genius. That's not James at all, he's just rational like you said. He's able to get feelings of intent from residents of the Dread Lake, not full-blown conversations, so the reconnaissance will not yield much information that he couldn't find himself. He didn't ignore positions, and watched from the ridge to analyse the movement of the tentacles. That's my perspective on this, but I'm biased because I see it like a movie in my head. Thanks again for your comments.

BMcC

Otto's Mother the Void Kracken, makes perfect sense with Otto being a Void demon. I thought this revelation was brilliant, and the fact that he only knows this now that he can communicate with Otto in the Dread Lake works well, and makes sense.

BMcC

Also there were too many unknown parameters for James to take into account to be able to strategise. I suspect that his true genius is adapting his strategy on the fly while taking in knew information. Having said that yes it is a bit odd that he has no apparent plan before getting to the edge of the water, but there's no need to down everything in one go due to this, there were loads of elements of this stroy that I thoughtfully enjoyed. Northman - Maybe a tweak here and there, but keep up the good work!

reji

I agree, he's more opportunistic tactician which is opposite to strategy. And this is not first time when I get "cringe feelings" from his actions and how another persons portrait him. Let's say honestly, if I get in my destination only because I'm lucky (Hydra head); if I didn't read what creatures and what state of lake's floor, then there is no planning. He can get this info when he in real world, but he focused on last step - fight itself, not on how to get there. And that was not first time. Even AI said he's dumb: just rush and kill pirate without considering factions to ally with it's rash action. Which is fine. But it's not how Travesty will be acting.

reji

All I want to say, it's difference between real James vs. James-how-his-friends-think P.S. Sorry for my bad English, I'm not native.

Brian J. Nordon

You're right, and I think I'm going to go back to Chapter 40 to work on it a little more. There are some things I need to explain better, otherwise the later chapters don't work. I think I might have just gotten excited for the ultimate battle and rushed towards it without proper planning. He needs to explain what his strategy with Jackal was. Thanks for the comments, Reji!

bruh

Nice