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Charlie Kirk / Check Your Empathy. (Patreon)

Published:
2025-09-12 21:53:14
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Ok yall

Checking

One

Two

Are you allowed to Do Empathy in this horrific moment?

(Love from tech day in St. Pölten….we are up and running. We will be giving a handful of tickets away tomorrow on the Dolls IG stories. Follow along.)

Now. Checking.

Let’s combine.

As far as Charlie Kirk is concerned,

Managed to get myself in trouble for posting the following to socials offhandedly today

“It’s that simple people. Dylan Marron said it best. Empathy is not endorsement.

This is a hill I will die on.

You can have compassion for people you don’t like. You can have empathy for people you can’t stand. You can.

The whole point of the American Experiment is to be found somewhere in here, and if we get this part wrong, we are failing.

That’s all.”

This is the TED talk that Dylan Marron did about this. Maybe watch it if you can. https://youtu.be/waVUm5bhLbg?si=sBmgcKBXCuMQI7we

…..

Then?

Really interesting and deep darker takes than usual on the comments. I’ve never been called a “Nazi Ball Hugger” before. That’s a new one. It’s also weird to see people saying “I’m very surprised at this, coming from you.” Really? Where have you been for 25 years?

A few choice pulls before I head back to work / sleep:

My response:

“Good question. In this context, I mean: do not dance on anybody's grave. This whole community is aching now. The kids who had to see it. The trans people in Utah. The family of a dead guy. If you strip away the politics, it's just a bleeding, aching village. The hill I will die on: no murder should be celebrated.

Accepted, sure. But never celebrated. Empathy means: be respectful and don't do what you wouldn't want done. If the right danced and whooped at some death on the left (Steve Colbert being assassinated, say) we would excoriate them for their lack of humanity. It HAS to go both ways. We can't have our cake and eat it, too.

I feel the same way about Mangione and the CEO. At the end of the day, celebrating murder is not gonna move us ahead on the chess board. Empathy means: feel the whole ecosystem. This guy was a tumor.

He was lopped off by a drunk surgeon with dirty hands.

And the whole body was sick.

Now it bleeds.

The whole problem gets worse.”

In sunmary:

Final Q&A:

Amanda, is this always really how you spend your tech day after landing in Europe?

Kinda. Yeah.

The Far Right party of Austria (the FPÖ) has nearly 30% of the vote. Just so you know.

Ready for your thoughts.

As you wish, weigh in.

I can take it.

X

A

Files

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Comments

angela b

This comment section is both shocking and comforting. The spiritual beliefs I find peace in are more aligned with you, Amanda, but I am incredibly disturbed by some of the comments of my fellow patrons here and equal parts comforted by others. It's like they can't see the conditions that led to the condition. And when does the cycle end? Not when you "dance on graves", that's for sure. I read a statistic yesterday that said that something like 30% of young Americans condone political violence. That's fucked. I don't understand how one could denounce a man saying words to his political opponents (no matter what the words are,) but are okay with another man shooting and killing a political opponent. That makes no sense to me and the beautiful world we all want to create won't happen at all if we continue to live in a world where that's the course we take to solve our problems. I am in Canada, not much different than the political landscape in US, but less people, less guns and so less extreme, but all the same issues are here. I have moved into a bit of an apolitical (party-wise) place because the ignorance runs so deep on both sides. I don't know Charlie Kirk's work, to be honest, but I can't imagine any of it is more hateful and damaging than some of the comments in this very chat. When we lose empathy and compassion, it's a sad place to be. I'm sorry that so many in this chat don't actually know the true meaning of empathy and compassion.

Len Tower Jr.
>>187108635

Insightful. Thank You. Many of the non-Empathic posts are from people who have been significantly traumatized by the "anti-socials" in human culture. Often by those closest to them. Please have Empathy for them.

Asa

One way to think of empathy is as visualizing a wish for others to be relieved of suffering. When we think about our wishes for ourselves, ultimately they have to do with transforming suffering. To empathize with another is to imagine you are them, with that same wish, that everyone has. A hateful person is suffering profoundly; their relief is their healing. There is only good that can come from that. Empathy does not mean endorsement, it does not mean permission, it does not even mean tolerance. It does not mean anything but what it is—but it is likely to foster compassion and kindness. This is just a little tiny step further, and gets philosophical, but ties in: are we humans really fundamentally different from one another? If you had the same experiences, the same genetic variations. The accidents of birth. Would you have the likelihood to attempt to adapt in some of the same ways (possibly exactly the same ways)? This recognition about another is love. It doesn't require liking. But love. It is the same view necessary to love oneself, to have compassion for oneself. For anyone. It just challenges us more when the person we empathize with is someone we don't like, or of whom we feel helpless in the face of harm they cause.

Allie Push Arts

If you can’t understand and even scold why some people are celebrating his death, I suspect that you’re still sitting too close to white supremacy. He was a harmful, violent and hateful person who shares in responsibility for the facism we are currently watching unfold. I’m personally not happy that he died by gun violence but I do feel relief that he’s one less person with a massive microphone spreading Trump’s ideology. The same part of us (as a collective America) that scolds people for celebrating Kirk’s death is the same part of us that says it’s totally fine to have memorials to Confederate generals. It’s the part of us that can’t seem to walk away, or even look at, the white supremacy this country was founded on. I also think there’s a lot of confusion about empathy vs sympathy vs forgiveness in the general discourse happening about his murder. And I think a lot of people who are claiming to feel empathic are confusing that supposed empathy with a general forgiveness for the harm he’s done just because he was murdered. And, to boot, policing people for having a good feeling about the fact that he’s gone. As people in general, I think it’s normal to have positive feelings about the deaths of our abusers. And I also think we can feel some empathy and not scold people for not feeling empathy and acknowledge the ways Kirk responsible for real world violence. I just don’t think centering the empathy (which is maybe just forgiveness in disguise) is the thing to center here. On note of feeling empathy for his family — I guess I do feel some of that for his kids because they are babies. I can’t feel that for his wife though because she’s all but promised revenge on the very communities that Kirk’s hateful agenda was targeted at — communities who had nothing to do with his murder. So instead of saying “you don’t have to mourn, but don’t dance” are you able to say “I can’t dance with you but I won’t try to stop you either because I see how Kirk has cause you and your community pain?” Or does your empathy really only extend at a murdered fascist and the pain of his community? And also, among the many problems we have in this country, it’s the guns.

Dassana

I have too often had the thought recently, when hearing of yet another awful awful human saying or doing something indescribably inhumane that I wish someone would take them out. Then - I read about the shooting of Charlie Kirk. And remembered I do not really in my heart of hearts believe that to be true. It's the hurting by people who are hurt by the outrageous actions of others I want to be stopped - and my visceral pain in hearing about it. Aggression and hate expressed in various ways is not the sole province of extremists. Hurt and Harm happen in a gazillion ways, both very personal and publicly, every second of every day. Why single out this man? There is something to be said about the mote in another's eye v the log in one's own. Not a bible person these days, but I think it holds a lot of sense (yes, and bs too). I had only read about Kirk's presence and stance a couple of days prior to his assassination. I am Australian - want to get that clear. I do not pretend to know what it is like to be a decent person living in America right now - but I have imagination and experience of violence and dark humanity and people with extreme outrageous beliefs (at least from my perspective). I am fully aware that what I am about to write may provoke outraged response - however it's my deep belief and how I've managed to stay alive in a pain filled world. I think everyone does the absolute best they know to do in any one time. The Charlie Kirks and Donald Trumps and Billionaires and Hitlers and witch burners and all the awful. This does not mean we have to accept such behaviour or their thinking -but to think we are somehow above them, or righteous, or anything is to lose our own humanity.

Dassana
>>187410137

I think you need to go and examine your own deeper thinking. Which is quite a presumptuous thing for me to say. My thinking is that to take any joy in another person's death is to lose my own humanity. I know intensely personally the deep excruciating pain people like Kirk can cause. I do not wish any of them dead apart from natural causes, despite everything. Because in large part if a human kills another human we are all the losers.

Chris Coolidge

In Charlie Kirk's case I'd barely heard of him the week he was shot, but now that I have heard of him I gotta wonder what the assailant was thinking he was going to accomplish.Doesnt matter what his political views are. Kirk's a martyr, The assailant will at the very least be in prison for life.Even prisoners get God's mercy, but God doesn't believe in murder. The God of my understanding's got this.

Tonto

My grandpa's farm, Amanda knows blocked on Facebook

The LORD Your God

*relays a turn for a has not played chess in a while* 👈🫲🫶 pew pew tres empassant pass pawn – weighs in a someone via myself, 13 October 2025 11:29 bst24

Emmy Birch

for some reason this reminds me of when they were dancing in the streets when they got Bin Laden. i somehow had a similar thought of 'show some class, some restraint people.' i dont support what bin laden did, anyone else involved (another debate another day) or the US reaction on any level. let's not celabrate murder. anyone's murder, no matter who they were, are or why.

Emmy Birch

btw, i love you, Amanda. you keep being your beautiful self and i'll be ok somehow too.