It's UP, I DID IT: ASK AMANDA #5 - Should I Have A Kid? (Patreon)

Dear Ones...

I DID IT!!! It took every spare second of the last few days, but I wrote my heart out and I got it, up. Ask Amanda #5 is OUT!!!!!!!

I've already sent it to three friends who said it brought them to tears.

Yay me. Someday I'll be able to write shit that is't always about crying. But probably not for a few years.

I'm just not there yet.

Hi Amanda,

A couple years ago, my husband and I decided that we wanted to have a baby, and set a date to start trying. Then the pandemic happened, and then I had a series of health problems, so it’s been on hold, and the waiting gave me too much time to overthink it. Now I’m not so sure.

When I think of myself 10 or 20 years from now, I see a mom. I’d like to have a family, since I was pretty much on my own before I met my husband. The problem is that I don’t like being around children. Babies and teens are great, but children (around 2-10 years old) are hard for me to be around, probably because of my own childhood trauma. (I’ve read that unconscious sensory triggers can remind my brain of its own childhood, which was rough.) I know I’ll be a good mom when they’re older, but I’m afraid I won’t be a good mom to a young kid because I won’t want to spend time with them. Should I listen to that impulse? Am I unable to give a kid the mom they deserve?

Thanks a million,

L.H. or “Doubtful in Nebraska”

P.S. I hope you pick me! I see a lot of stuff about women who know they want kids, and about women who know they don’t want kids. Women who are in between and undecided aren’t talked about enough. It’s a lonely position to be in.

......

READ THE ANSWER HERE: 

https://amandapalmer.substack.com/p/ask-amanda-5-should-i-have-a-kid?sd=pf

And please, if you love the piece, share it!!!!, and also tell the story of how your patronage made the writing happen. 

Art doesn't happen in a goddamn vacuum.

It's there - live and published - on the substack "Ask Amanda" page (It's free). Drawings are, as usual, by Sarah Beetson.

This time I played around and took some on-theme photos of Coco Karol (taken here in the woods). This embedded video (here, above) is a live reading of the last draft that also goes to the $5 Substack folks. It's FORTY (40!) minutes long, so go get a drink and a hanky. It was copy-edited by Rina Bander.

Don't forget the Althing is coming out tomorrow, too, with a little video and a lotta text. 

Pace yourselves, yo!

I had a great chat with patreon today, by the way, about moving to a monthly model. IT MAY BE ABLE TO HAPPEN and I THINK THIS WILL BE GOOD. Prepare.

......

I wanted to give a special shout out to everyone for working last-minute on this one, as is becoming embarrassingly usual. Rina (the copy editor, bless her heart) pulled long, weird hours, Coco hopped into the photo session without blinking, and Sarah cranked out some absolutely gorgeous art - and her own words. And, holy shit, it all came together in a glorious package.

Here's me and Coco after our little house-woods photo session. 

SMOOSH!!!!

I love that because I have this patreon, I would up getting to photograph my friend being a strong goddman mom in the woods. 

I even got to PAY HER. YAAAAAAYYYY.

Here's a super-glorious photo of Dancing Woods Coco that I didn't use in the piece...

But also, YOU.

You all - my wonderful, weird and understanding patrons - you really helped along with this one. I wouldn't have gotten off my ass and written it were it not for your support the other night.

Thank you so, so much for being my patrons.

GO READ THE PIECE, CRY IF YOU GOTTA, AND SHARE IT AROUND!!!!!!!

x

A