The December Althing. (Return to New Zealand! And a patron-only live video of the new song!) (Patreon)

Hello my loves!

Here's the basic rundown of the contents of this month's Althing...

• "ANOTHER CHRISTMAS", a video just for y'alls eyes
• THE BASIC LIFE-N-TIMES UPDATE: JANUARY TRIP TO NEW ZEALAND! ... & A LITTLE SHOW THERE!)
• WHAT ELSE HAPPENED/WENT OUT THIS MONTH
• WHAT'S COMIN' DOWN THE PIKE
• EVENTS THIS MONTH, UPCOMING EVENTS
• DISPATCHES FROM TEAM AFP (spoiler: there are none)
• HOW THE PATREON ITSELF IS DOING
• OTHER ARTISTS TO SUPPORT & FOLLOW
• ART BEGETTING ART

......

Hallo Loves. 

First of all, as promised but a little late, embedded is a patron-only video of me singing "Another Christmas" with guitarist singer/songwriter Storey Littleton. It was professionally filmed by a small crew and they sold me the rights to rebroadcast here, just to you (I also had to pay an origination fee to the Levon Helms venue folks, but that's money very well spent. I love those guys.)

So....this one's just for you, since I'm going to very likely put this song on the next Dolls' record and I wanna keep it off the public internet. 

Please watch and enjoy it. 

It was an incredibly special moment in my life, this performance.

Here's a still from the show:

Photo: Anthony Mulcahy

..........

And now....

Greetings from Hermosa Beach, California.

I wanted to thank the few hundred of you, first of all, who wrote in over the last few days on the chatty post I put up. Reading about your stories and your lives really helps me. In ways I can't quite articulate, knowing we are all in this shit together, and knowing that many of you are going through similar hardships, losses, joys and moments of clarity is one of the things that gets me up in the morning. I love you all so much. If you missed it, I responded to pretty much every comment. I like doing this and I'll do more of it when I can. Yes, I know we need a better conversational platform. I'm still working on it. It's hard to figure out. 

I wrote and assembled (with Alex's help, as usual) the majority of the below back in Bearsville, NY, a few days ago.

Yesterday I boarded a plane with Neil and Ash and we flew, as a family-that-is-changing-shape, together to LA. I always stay with or near my LA cousins when I'm in town - they're a thread in my life that has become increasingly important. Cousin Gus and Ash played War last night and we ate some Italian food altogether. 

When Ash saw the beach, he wanted to go IN. He is an island child. 

The water was freezing, but I stripped down to my bra and undies and in we went.

Neil took these shot of us and for a moment, the pure sweetness of it didn't feel bitter. Co-parenting is hard, it's a strain on the soul, but we are giving it our best shot, and giving ourselves high marks.   

Sometimes things change slowly.

Sometimes things change quickly.

The ocean is always my go-to happy place and metaphor.

I've been back from Aotearoa New Zealand for about six goddamn months (we returned in June) and I still haven't unpacked half my shit. 

I sat down two days ago and opened mail from 2022, 2021, 2020...and 2019, mail that I left unopened on the table when I scrambled out the door for the "There Will Be No Intermission" tour, thinking I'd be home in 7 months.

There were a handful of wedding invitations that I arrived in early 2020 when the pandemic. 

Weddings that never happened.

I wrote a lot of apologetic emails and texts.

It's okay.

It's okay.

But you know what? I've lived some real life. 

I've made some new friends. 

I'm trying to keep my basic, I-am-a-mother-in-a-town shit together, and I daresay it worked. But it came at the expense of pretty much everything else: songwriting, working on my career, answering patron messages, unpacking boxes from New Zealand. I feel I've prioritized well. Every time I've been tempted to feel guilty over the last few months, especially as the patron numbers have continued to dwindle and I feel that old script rushing back into my head (YOU! MUST! WORK! HARDER!!!), I have a little talk with myself, with you all in my head as the better angels of my nature, reminding me to slow the fuck down, take care of myself, take care of my kid, and recover from this fuckshow of a few years. From this soil, I know good art will grow. 

There is no algorithm, no number that goes up and down like follower counts and money able-to-be-earned, for a child. I can't get to the end of the day of mothering and count the number of comments to see if my mothering was well done. I just gotta trust.

I am hitting, head-on, some of the stuff I wrote about in "The Art of Asking". I have to trust that this is a fallow-er period, art-wise, and that when the heat is turned up (especially this spring, as I start really writing and rehearsing up a storm for the oncoming Season of the Dresden Dolls).

I know everybody here "gets" it. But still...I find myself having a hard time letting go and parenting instead of making, writing, answering, fanning the flames of my community constantly. It's my ego. And it's my old habit. 

I know these habits well. And I also know that THIS is why most artists don't want to use patreon. 

This fear is REAL, people. 

I grew up feeling that I had to constantly win attention, win praise, and find validation from everyone around me. 

This much should be obvious to all.

This patreon has confronted me, and many, in the best of ways.

I'm still on a learning curve, and I love that you're all here for it.

Let's keep going. Let's keep learning.

And now, news flash:

I AM HEADING BACK TO NEW ZEALAND in a few days.

Yep, that's why I'm in LA. I'm just laying over, and that's why I booked this Dolls show on New Years. I didn't wanna tell y'all that I'm going to be there in case it fell through. It didn't.

Off we go. We will be there for most of January.

I'd originally considered doing some touring shows and making my way back to all my old haunts: Hawke's Bay, Havelock North, The South Island, Glenorchy, and all that....but no. I know my limits by now.

I'm literally going to just take Ash back to his island (Waiheke) and hide in norm-core land. He misses his best friend. 

In a way, this is like the world's most expensive play date.

So we do it. Then we'll come home to Woodstock and I'll put Ash back in school.

The ONLY public - planned - thing I'm gonna be doing is hosting/performing at another fundraiser for Waiheke Island's beloved little blackbox, Artworks Theater. The tickets just went on sale. If you wanna say hi, come to the Island. Sunday, Jan 15th. You can walk there from the Ferry, which comes from Auckland City every hour or so.

(For some reason, I don't seem to be able to access the ticket link. Probably because I'm in the states).

https://www.artworkstheatre.org.nz/events/amanda-palmer-and-friends

It'll be nice to be back on the Island, connecting with my old pals.

My wonderful friend Koro, aka Constance Maraj, will be on stage with me, and all the money will go to the theater to keep them afloat.

AUCKLANDERS, while I have you here:

I'm gonna TRY to do a NINJA GIG somewhere in Auckland or on the Island, maybe that day before the Cabaret, or maybe on another weekend day in the next few weeks....

Just to hug and say hello.

If you're out there, in/near Auckland, and you have a good idea of where we can gather, holler in the comments.

Anywhere is good, our goodbye gathering spot in central Auckland was a little...distracting. The beach maybe? The park? A field trip to Devenport??

You guys call it, please. Help an Amanda Out.

.........

I'm still disoriented from the return to the states. 

We'll see how all this goes.

Who knows.

Mayne I'll get stuck there again?

Knock on wood. Don't knock on wood?

Knock on pounamu?

......

I would like to diverge, if I may (and I may, it’s my post goddamit), for a moment.

This is worth a read...and yes, I was the musician.

https://www.themarginalian.org/2022/12/23/music/

“Without music life would be a mistake,” Nietzsche declared. But set his characteristic drama aside and ask people across ages and cultures what art-form most helps them live their lives, and they will overwhelmingly point to music. It is, quite literally, the soundtrack to our lives — to our fallings in love, to our seasons of grief, to our workouts and our commutes and our parties and our most private moments. It is the sacrament we reach for when we want to feel what we feel more deeply, the daily pulsebeat that helps us move through even our most challenging days with more composure and resilience. It is the sunshine of the spirit. “This indeed is music,” Whitman exulted. “[It] whirls me wider than Uranus flies, it wrenches such ardors from me I did not know I possess’d them.” Music, the most abstract of the arts, is the most concrete in how it unlocks us to ourselves, how it “opens a path into the realm of silence.”

Music is also something people make — living people, who put a foot on the floor each morning and set about making day: food and love and laundry. People who have a gift, in both senses of the word, and give if freely because making music is a lifeline for them — a fundament of who they are and why they live.

….

WHAT ELSE HAPPENED THIS MONTH...

While we are on the topic of life without music being a mistake.

Music is emerging from me. Slowly. Quickly. 

At all.

I released this new demo, "Another Christmas"...which is actually (in my humble opinion) a record-worthy production with gorgeous guitar-playing and extra vocals from Holly Miranda.

You can watch the live video embedded in this post.

AND:

THE STREAM and entire backstory of the tune for patrons is here: 

https://www.patreon.com/posts/76002653

The download code (for $3+ patrons) is here: 

https://www.patreon.com/posts/76003198

and...the $5 tier got A CHORD CHART so you can play along:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/76003389

I am so proud of myself for fucking writing and finishing something new and GOOD. For keeping making.

Nietzsche would be proud.

Go me.

...........

MEANWHILE....

The $10 webcast happened! And I played a rough version of the new tune on the piano.

You can catch up on the webcast here if you are in the $10 tier or above:

https://www.crowdcast.io/e/diseuupt

..............

What else...?

I did a lot of running-around and doing local, fun, free things...because that's what you do when you live in a small town and it's Christmas.

In addition to doing the benefit at Levon Helms' for the Washbourne House (from which the above video was taken), I ACTUALLY SANG ON THE WOODSTOCK HOLIDAY PARADE FLOAT.

That's right.

Twas the coldest! Gig!! In!!! HISTORY!! Here is me and Holly Miranda prepping in the wholesome garage of the woodstock police station (!!) before floating through town on the holiday float for the annual xmas parade. We played a variety of fun and dumb holiday songs and I jingle-jangled some bells. It was like FIVE DEGREES but we still sang our asses off and managed to exude some charisma and holiday cheer to the brave who made it out - and Santa appeared to the tune of “Space Oddity” out of a ROCKET SHIP.

(You can see come cute little video snippets of us being VERY COLD on Holly's Instagram stories: https://www.instagram.com/hollymiranda/)

Peace on earth, man. I love this town. 

.......

I wrote a little piece about writing the song "Death Thing".

Because I was sad, and felt like it.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/76382739

......

WHAT'S COMIN' DOWN THE PIKE....

Next Month, hopefully: A long "Best Of The Patreon" round-up of everything that's been released on Patreon in the last SEVEN YEARS. We were going to try to get that together for the end of this month, but Hey. It's going to take a lot of collecting and writing and linking and digging and making sure everything's up to speed. A few of you noted to me that the links to the PDF for the Artbook of "There Will be No Intermission" were broken. It always pains me when that happens. This project will hopefully inspire the whole team to go deep and do a big Clean.

I may try to do a piece of writing about heading back to New Zealand. I may try to crank out another Ask Amanda. I may finally get to the piece I wanted to write about heading back to prison. 

Maybe if I'm on fire in New Zealand, I'll write and demo another song, but that seems very unlikely given Ash's social schedule. (When would I write? There are so many people to visit.) Maybe I'll find my way to making a speical video over there. I dunno.

And there are about 5-6 unfinished video projects I keep mentioned again and again that are now getting so delayed that it hurts my heart to mention them so I'm taking a break.

......

Also coming down a little bit further down the pike....is THE CAMPERSAND RETREAT!

I'm waiting to see when we can go on sale, so hold the phone.

Way back in 2019, I co-hosted a retreat at Omega Center in upstate New York for 50 patrons. Well, we're back! We'll be opening up 100 places this time... dates are looking likely to be July 2nd-7th. 

Read more about my plans (and vote in the poll about whether you'd be down for it) here:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/campersand-is-75634753 

It looks like it will fill quickly, and the team needs to figure out how we can arrange scholarships for those who need financial help to come.

......

A REMINDER TO FOLLOW ME ON MASTODON.

https://home.social/@amandapalmer

I am sure you are watching as Twitter is falling apart.

I hope to bring more of my online community together using other tools, this one (patreon) included. But I'm a scrambling solo mother, with way less time for chatty-chatty on the Internet than I used to have.

Who knows. 

But please, if you're there, please gimme a follow. 

If you haven't joined Mastodon, I so think there's where the world may be headed: so just choose a server (any server) and hop aboard.

It's a really nice feeling over there so far.

Like old twitter.

........

DISPATCHES FROM TEAM AFP:

--Not this month, folks! Everybody's offline.--

......

HOW THE PATREON ITSELF IS DOING:

As of this writing there are about 10,000 patrons pledging about $32,000 for the first Thing each month.

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE FOR NEWCOMERS: you are welcome to (and encouraged to) CAP YOUR PLEDGE! PLEASE.

We will very likely be changing up the Patreon system to a more intuitive once-per-month charge very soon, but for now, your pledge on Patreon supports me per Thing that I release - sometimes it's just 1, usually it's 2 or 3, sometimes it's been 4 or 5.

We know this can create financial insecurity and uncertainty - so Patreon allows you to cap your pledge. This is, essentially, setting a MAXIMUM amount that you want to pay per month. YOU CAN BUDGET. Say for example, you're happy to pay $3 per Thing, but you don't want to pay more than $10 a month. In that's the case, you can "cap" your pledge at $10, and whether I release 4 Things or 40 Things, you won't be charged more than $10. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, you will still have access to ALL the things, even if you cap your pledge!!! It doesn't effect access.

You can read all about capping your pledge here.

I go over this stuff in every Althing, but if you're new to all this: Patreon charges you monthly & retroactively, meaning that you get billed on the 1st of the month for all the Things released the month prior.

Because people have their pledges capped (SEE ABOVE), the first "Thing" raises the most money by far, and anything released thereafter raises less and less. I LIKE THIS! THIS IS GOOD! It means I never feel guilty about releasing TOO MUCH!! So really. Please, cap your pledge if you are on a budget.

In November, I Thanged TWO Things:

The Dresden Dolls Come Back, which earned about $36,705 from 10,157 patrons

The State of All Things: November 2022, which earned about $14,776 from 5,513 patrons

(we say "about" because patreon may be still trying to process some pledges that have yet to go through...we never know, you know.)

Them's the numbers.

And remember: these numbers are gross. Not net. Meaning: it's the money raised before fees were deducted by patreon and is not the total deposited to me. patreon takes a 5% fee (which they use to build and sustain the platform, which is GOOD) and then there's a payment processing fee, which varies on a ton of factors and is usually between 5-9% of the total collected.

These numbers also do not reflect the money I SPENT MAKING THE ART, paying my staff, paying the office rent, paying for crowdcast, getting myself around, getting the team around and fed and slept, all the collaborators, and my actual staff payroll, etc.

I don't share that level of nitty-detail-stuff with you because I assume it would bore you to fucking tears. but you can trust me: paying for a full-time staff, office, manager, accountant, and massive team of art-collaborators ain't cheap. sometimes we barely break even.

......

OTHER ARTISTS TO SUPPORT & FOLLOW

CHARMING DISASTER, one of our glorious Brigade opening acts at the Dresden Dolls shows in Colony last month, are on Patreon....!!!

You can sign up to support them here:

https://www.patreon.com/charmingdisaster

......

I love this one....

VICTORIA BATEMAN is an academic researcher from the UK, who I came across in 2019 when she was protesting Brexit using her naked body .

Remember that??

We made friends on the Internet at the time, because of course we did (I am, as we know, one the other Official Naked Persons).

And now, she's written a book!

Naked Feminism: Breaking The Cult of Female Modesty is out next March in the UK, and in May in the USA. I was very honored that she reached out to me and gave me an advance copy, and I provided this quote for the cover...(she's gonna use a piece of it)

"As honor killings and Internet influencers collide, we could all use a little help in making sense of what being unclothed really means nowadays. I love this book and the world needs it. It’s readable, enlightening, joyful, infuriating, irreverent, and utterly fascinating. Without preaching and with the perfect combo of heaviness and humor, our heroic author explains why nakedness - and how we think about it - is a critical topic worth laying bare."

It's a really good read. Smart and funny and not preachy.

I've talked to Victoria if we can help get the word out, and she's going to GIVE US a box of books to give away to you fine patrons (hold the phone!!)... but if you want a guaranteed copy, you can pre-order your own copy to guarantee you'll get one, it's available to pre-order now here. 

.......

And while I'm pimping BOOKS...I just finished this one....

and IS IT REAL GODDAMN GOOD.

https://www.amazon.com/Im-Glad-My-Mom-Died/dp/1982185821

Memoir writing doesn't get much more candid and powerful than this. The voice of this book is just incredible. For anyone who's struggled with difficult parents, bulimia, anorexia, or just wants a look into the MACHINE THAT EATS CHILD ACTORS, this one's for you.

I'd recommend to humans of all genders. Literally...couldn't put it down some nights....FIVE FUCKING STARS. 

From the site:

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

#1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER

A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

......

ART BEGETTING ART

I LOVE THIS one....

Songwriter descending a piano??

It’s nice to feel understood. I feel this way when I play.

I posted this up to IG and credited it wrongly, originally...so thanks to those who jumped in and corrected me. It’s by the incredible @caroloife, and she has an etsy shop here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Caroloife

......

This gorgeous tattoo was done by @leahstanmore - it took me a while to get it...

GET IT?????

I'll give you a hint. Here. By the way, I just noticed this video has 3.3 millin views. Wow.

......

A beautiful portrait by @su.da.ki ...

......

And something a little different - a ZINE featuring various doodles, lyrics, lineocuts, made by @katherinehorn on instagram!!

.....and that's all she wrote this month, my friends.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being my patrons.

This year and always.

I'll see many of you at the New Years show tomorrow.

XX

AFP

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you are a patron and new to my work, don’t forget your patronage allows you access to ALL of my patreon releases to date. HERE is the link to download my latest big solo record, “There Will Be No Intermission”, and HERE is a link to download the PDF of the art/essay book that goes with it.

2. if you’re a patron reading this post via an email notification, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. that's always nice for me to see, so i know who's reading.

3. see All the Things (over 150 of them) i've made so far on patreon:

http://amandapalmer.net/things

4. JOIN THE SHADOWBOX COMMUNITY FORUM, find your people, and discuss everything: https://forum.theshadowbox.net/

5. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

6. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net