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Hello my loves

Greetings from Woodstock, where a lot of things have not gotten done. Including on my patreon list. All over my life. And probably yours. I said to coco last night:

the thing about the holidays is that you’re forced into a kind of acceptance of where it’s all at.

There is no way out. Assessment pounds on the door.

This is what I managed to get done by this point in time; and this is what I did not.

These are the relationships I am in (or out of) right now; this is where they stand, this is how they’ve shifted.

This is what I managed to give; and this is what I wasn’t able to give. This is how much I managed - or didn’t manage - to care for myself.

This is what I managed to fix, to dispose of, to grow, to mend, to throw away; and the rest?

Well here we are.

It’s the holidays: TOO LATE. The rest doesn’t matter.

This is where we land, this is how far we got. This is where we are.

……..

I have noticed over the past few holiday-whirr days that I am struggling more than usual to accept that This Is Where Things are at and I thought I’d just list a few things here, and invite you to do the same. What are the things that pain you, that nag you, the things that you are just desperate to wrap up but refuse to get wrapped?

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but i’ll give it a stab. This will at least make me feel better. And it might make you feel better too.

I haven’t opened my postal mail since coming back from New Zealand. There are ten boxes. I am paralyzed.

I haven’t finishing writing and sending out those postcards I addressed to the $100 patrons.

I haven’t found my band a stateside manager.

I haven’t picked up and finished all of the unfinished film projects for patreon that just need to be finished.


I haven’t gotten Ash a bunk bed.

I haven’t given away all these clothes and shoes that don’t fit him.

I haven’t mended all the clothes that I’ve managed to rip. They’re just in a huge pile.


I haven’t answered the 1,900 emails in my inbox.

I haven’t answered a handful of my texts from this last week.

I haven’t posted enough $5 surprise posts for patrons.

I haven’t unpacked half of my boxes from New Zealand.


I haven’t been great about flossing and I still haven’t replaced the nightguard I lost in New Zealand at the start of covid.

I haven’t put Ash’s gingerbread house back together since it got covered with ants and I disassembled it and put it in the freezer.

There are many other things.

Piles of Undone.

Things of all sorts - at all levels - that needed mending that didn’t get mended, or would not take to mending. In all departments; art, heart, and hearth.

It is what it is.

Now, we put it down.

We look at what we did.

I did things, too.

I wrote a really good song. And recorded it.

I’ve spent a lot of time with my son.

I’ve started ice bathing again (in the creek. every morning.)

I’ve made some incredible friends.

My band is back together.

I managed to have people over to the house last night.

And for fucks sake:

we made a gingerbread house, period.

I’ll take it. I mean it.

…..

Your turn!!!

Ok: what you got? What didn’t get done? And more importantly:

What did get done that make it all okay?

I love this life and I love all of you.

See you soon, with a song.

x

Afp


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Comments

Paula Ley

Thank you so much for this. I am going to go and have a good think ❤️

Janet in Georgia

We’ve had ants on a ginger bread house before. I thought it was hysterical they tried to move in 🤣 merry Christmas amanda. I love you 🎄

Nicole Mack (Molly Angst)

I too am feeling the exact same as I sit on my couch here in Indiana at my house in disarray and a list of crap floating through my mind of all the presents I meant to buy, all the work I meant to finish in the house, all the people I haven’t given enough attention to, and the list goes on. You are not alone in feeling this ongoing pull from the past and future both grabbing at you. But my love, you are freaking killing it! The new song is divine! Your child is happy, the band is back and I can only imagine what this album will be… I feel young again in just thinking about it! You give that to me with your art, all forms of your art. Thank you for your honesty and I don’t expect anything from you other than what you have done. You have done quite enough! Sending you so much love and light!!! 🌹

Joni

I didn't keep the bad job... Not the way I wanted, and it's been really hard, but now I'm up for a dream job (🤞) and I likely wouldn't have applied if I hadn't been fired. I kept my Patrion subscription. We kept all the kids alive another year (bio and fur both). I made more friends here, if not IRL (❤️❤️). I'm still here. I survived another year despite Depression's best efforts. That's a victory all in itself. I love you, and I wish you exactly the holiday you want/need, regardless of what that looks like.

Rory Douglas

I got barely any of the home improvement stuff done this year. I didn’t reconcile two people who I had really hoped too. I didn’t get an answer on my chronic stomach pain, despite the varying tests. I got a better job. I got slightly fitter, I think. I got better at being a husband and a Dad. Also if the ants got the gingerbread house, just cede the house to the ants, it’s their house now. It’s not an eating house anymore unfortunately.

Nicole Mack (Molly Angst)

Also, I look at you, always busy, always doing something meaningful with art and I’m astounded to know that you feel you haven’t or couldn’t do more. You have done enough for 100 humans this year, easily!

Rebecca Ryan

I haven’t - so many haven’t either. Tricky time of year reminder of my separation from my kids dad too. And now my kid is virusey aftwr last day of school…and probs have to cancel Christmas Day seeing the family 😢 it is what it is and I just have to tell them tomorrow eek. Cannot wait to hear your songs A x

Taylor Zartman

I didn't get my tree up til last week, but by God, it's up and decorated. I didn't make cookies or really do anything festive (yet). I didn't make it to my hometown yet to my parents and grandparents and don't know when I can and I'm so sad about this. I did get stomach flu and survived. I did play Stardew Valley. I did watch A Christmas Story. And today, I will finish a writing project that has been looming over me for a year! (I have been saying this for the last couple of days, but that is a testament to just how close I am to finishing it!) 💚

Rebecca Ryan

I have my car boot of clothes bags to give way..they will be given way at some point 😂 they enjoy the car ride for now

Ashes Eriksen

I'm feeling some sort of way about the holidays this year. My dad lost his year long battle to cancer last night. My dad is my everything and it hurts so much. You actually own a piece of my dad's musical history. When you had that coat made for grand theft orchestra I sent in a bandana from a festival my dad's band played. His band was called the big wigs back then. It makes me really happy that my two favorite musicians have a connection like that. I don't know if you're a vodka drinker, but the Leif Timothy Eriksen special is vodka and cranberry with a shot of sprite. Please raise a glass to the absolute legend of a father. I love you Amanda thank you.

Erin Beggs Wilson

I haven't been blogging. Or writing, or posting for my Patrons enough. I haven't kept up with texts and emails, or plans. I haven't made the appointments I need to be making last week. I miss writing so much but I... Don't know. But. I have made delicious dinners, so many, every week. I have read somewhere around 100 books this year and my brain is so, SO happy for it after years of not doing so. I lose myself in the stories and the power of words and they are healing and beautiful and raw. I decorated for Christmas. I haven't managed to decorate for a single season this year, but I did Christmas, and damn it looks good. I've been crafting and my Christmas village is so detailed and personalized and brings me happiness. I've made beautiful, hyper personal Christmas gifts for the people I love. I've survived another fucking year on this rock, cancer in my body and the fire to live in my soul. Oh Amanda. 🖤 Thank you for sharing space with us. Lend yourself grace. Also if you come get me I will fix literally all of your clothes. Hell I'll sew you a new wardrobe. And finally. My mind is blown at the gingerbread ants. You just... Freeze them?? And wipe away boom?

Ash Anderson

Work is what it is, with victories and defeats. Life is what it is, with sweetness, poignancy, delight and regret. I still can't seem to find a path to set down a lot of the heaviness weighing me down and, most days, wake up feeling pretty rough about it all. And, I have preserved a really good friendship with a radiant person, I've shown up in real and important ways for people I care about, and I've been able to reconnect in (what I hope is) a solid, safe, and steady way with a person I love very much. So, I lean in, make it through all the holiday weirdness, find the small, beautiful moments, and I keep trying. Stay safe, all of you, and shine brightly. This is a good space, filled with good people. Thanks for sharing, Amanda, and for all of it.

Rebecca Strout Letourneau

I didn’t find a new therapist after mine left the company. But I’m doing a lot better mentally than I was earlier this year. I didn’t finish my daily art prompt that I put off from October, that ended up bleeding into December. But I still made a lot of art that I’m really proud of this year. I didn’t hold a Yule ritual yesterday, or post about it. Nor a Samhain one, and I did Mabon late. And I haven’t meditated in ages. But I did move my altar table to a better location and learn how to use it better, and have become generally more grounded in my identity as a witch. I haven’t totally gotten over the person who ghosted me after it had felt really promising. But I’ve accepted that it wasn’t about me. Love, peace, and rest to you all.

Angel Rosen

I didn't learn to drive, but I did get my permit. I didn't lose any weight (I never do, though). I didn't get better at art. I didn't read 100 books. I read 68. This year, I finished taking care of two dogs. I loved them perfectly, and our time concluded. It was complete. My final act of the utmost love. I finished my second book. I edited the patron poetry anthology. I have written over a hundred poems this year and have edited another hundred or so. I finished baking some cakes and shared them. I loved, I accepted love, I made my way to you despite everything that gets in the way, despite inaccessibility, because I made friends. Real friends. I sorted through tragedy. I replied to a lot of messages. I sang to babies. I helped people get divorced. I didn't fall in love (thank god). I talked too much. I forgave, and was forgiven. This year feels cut in half for me since my dogs were alive for the first half. It felt like January to June was another year. What I accomplished in those months was the bare minimum, and from June to now, I have operated with intention. Sometimes, survival is the thing you do, what it looks like is never certain. So I survived, and what I didn't do was expect anyone to understand what that had to look like or what it will continue to be. It may even become indistinguishable. But we will all be okay, despite what doesn't get done.

Lucy

I haven't applied for a job I want. I haven't cleaned out the bottom of my wardrobe, or the storage under the bed since February when I last shoved all the stuff that didn't have a home, and now there is a bunch more stuff that doesn't have a home and I have nowhere left to hide it. I haven't made a Christmas cake, or done any Christmas baking at all. I haven't sent Christmas cards to people I normally send cards to. I haven't figured out what to do with my wedding dress even though we got married 2 months ago and it's just been hanging on the curtain rail in our bedroom ever since. I haven't studied nearly as much as I should. I HAVE finished the present I was knitting secretly for my spouse and wrapped it. I HAVE gone on a mildew-cleaning spree (because British weather + lack of heating due to cost of gas = mould.) I have planned and shopped for Christmas dinner. I have nursed my spouse through a cold I gave them. I have managed to just about keep up with descaling my new kettle, which I am determined will not get as gross as the old one.

Aqualynne Carnahan

Didn't do's-Zero Christmas cards sent. Missed my dental appointment and haven't rescheduled. Haven't cooked an actual meal in forever (arthritis in my spine means no standing up for more than a few minutes at a time), and I miss cooking. Do's- Nailed my promotion and implemented changes that help others succeed and grow. Texted and chatted with people I care about pretty much daily. Learned to lean into all the help offered, especially by my partner. Overall? I'm still feeling a bit isolated, but productive. Appreciative of all the communities that give me support and companionship. Encouraged by the necessary changes happening politically. Yes, I mean that. Good people are showing up, and it's beautiful to see the rejection of power grabs and hate. It may seem small, but every challenge pushes us further toward good and away from facism. I believe that the energy from success breeds more energy to keep fighting. Overall, not a bad year. Still a lot of work to be done, but we are making progress.

Gail Gallagher

There are so many "un-dones" -- but the one thing that I did do; I created a Holiday card using an original water color painting of a chickadee holding a red ribbon in its beak. The back story: My Dad always drew a bird for the yearly Christmas card. He passed away in 1996. I took my first art work shop shortly there after, in order to learn to draw birds... It took 26 years, but I finally re-booted that family tradition.

Megan Elizabeth

I still haven’t built the deck furniture, it’s just sitting there in it’s wrapping. I haven’t replaced the microwave surface light. I haven’t gotten this one cavity filled. I still haven’t gotten my fucking license, the one I set out to get before the pandemic ate all the savings I needed to buy a car. I haven’t started the blog I keep saying I’ll start. I haven’t worked on those self tapes. You know the ones. I haven’t found a better rheumatologist. I’m still waiting to have the surgery I need. I haven’t gotten brave enough to really reach for connection from new sources yet, to show up exactly as I am now without expectation of rejection and disaster. But. I assembled bookcases. I threw out the old papasan that was a relic of roommates past and got a couch. I recommitted emotionally to a passion I thought I’d left behind years ago and began orienting my heart towards it again, slowly and quietly. I took steps towards said passion which may seem tiny to the outside world but that to me were steps of big, expansive possibility - steps of declaring to the universe that I’m determined to belong myself to the thing. I made it through having to go to the doctor nearly 30 separate times and still maintained a sense of my humanity and worth separate from patienthood. I sat with soul shaking fear in a brand new way. I was present with my cat, my very best friend of a decade, while she made her final journey. It was the first time I’d watched a loved one die. I was always afraid I wouldn’t be big enough inside to hold it, but I was. I grieved. I’m finding peace in my movement practice again. I felt more rooted and at home in my home than ever before. I rescued a beautiful stray cat and made her a home, right here alongside all my love and grief. Woof I’m gonna keep going in my journal, this did help. Thanks. Love to you. Blessed Solstice.

Larissa Rook

I didn’t organize the clutter. So much clutter. Maybe next year. But i did get a new desk! I had been using either my bed or the kitchen table for years. And have kept new desk moderately tidy. Go me!

Dahlia

I made friends with you. Done. All I need. The rest, whatever. Didn’t deal with mail and half the papers on my desk at home and work, didn’t make a biz plan or budget for next year yet, didn’t eat lunch most days. Did walk, do yoga, ski, write, paint, breathe. Did climb out of some near rock bottom feelings. Did hold things together even when it nearly destroyed me. Did prioritize family, friends and yes, myself.

Larissa Rook

Oops accidentally hit return too soon. I also got covid and survived. Which was a big deal because I have been in treatment for cancer.

Niki McQueen

Well done for your DONE's! I know how important recognising and celebrating even the smallest of victories is right now. I too, have such a long list of undone. No tree this year, no a lot of things this year. But I DID make xmas cards for my family, I did leave my flat to frame a painting and I did meet and merge wish an assistant who has an organised mind and a glorious spirit, who makes my list of undone SO much less scary. I asked for help, at last, and I think that's the most important 'done' I've done for a while.

Larissa Rook

Arg!!! Hit return again! I havent had my coffee yet. But will soon and that will be another accomplishment. Lol. i havent made the gingerbread house yet. Thanks for the reminder. I have a kit sitting in my kitchen. Will put together with kiddo soon. We are expecting a major weather freeze here in southern texas and our house isnt winterized. because it didnt use to get this cold here. two years ago all our pipes burst. so, hopefully i can add “winterize house” to list of accomplishments. and surviving the freeze with running water. fingers crossed.

Ronald Neely II

I didn't get the new mailbox post finished before winter but I did get the frame put up so the mailbox is at least functional at the moment.

sarah482

forget the other 9 boxes - open the omegans' box : ) it's cheery, i promise xoxo I'm here to help you clear your list - just ask

sarah482

Joni! yay for small and large victories. xoxo good luck with the job application/interview - fingers crossed for you. love you

Nora Czy

Not done: The apartment is still too full of crap. Budgeting is not in control. Work motivation is coasting along. Conflict with mum not resolved. Done: Went to all the dentist appointments. Daily swims to get to the level I wanted to be for the holidays ( it's summer in New Zealand). Have painted each day of the holiday with the watercolour set my boss gave me. Started my holiday a week early and deliberately chose to NOT have Christmas with the family for the sake of my sanity. Up to date with cards and calls to my granny overseas. Fostered 16 kittens from SPCA this year. Caught up with many friends and had mini adventures. Happy in my skin. So overall I have achieved more than usual and super enjoying my decision to not do the traditional Christmas gathering. Will see how I feel after the actual day hahaha. Much love from Nora ( currently in the Bay of Islands :) )

Damian Masterson

Sorry again not to be able to make it over yesterday. This round of COVID was pretty okey. I’m back to work masked already, and the round of steroids they gave me have me feeling weirdly wired and indestructible. My wife’s almost back to normal and it seems like the kids somehow dodged it this time around. Lucky breaks overall. This has been such an odd year and holidays. I forget every year how much it feels like things speed up between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Overall, things really are fine, but we were in a kind of healthy albeit scabbed over place after losing the baby this summer, until we started thinking about doing a family picture for a Christmas card. It’s hard to know how to both move on and also hold a place for the things you’ve lost. Nobody wants a picture of our two kids, with big smiles and in their Christmas jammies sitting by the tree, each holding a box with the ashes of their sisters; but that’s low key what each of those pictures feels like sometimes. It’s weird to be in that place, past most of the very worst of the grieving, largely moved on, but still rawly existential and discombobulated about everything, and hiding it so the kids can have a happy and uncomplicated Christmas Day. Navigating putting on a proper costume of normalcy without letting it turn into some kind of daily wear of corrosive denial. Things are generally good, though. There are blips and bumps, but, all things considered, we are largely filled with love and kindness, safe from dangers inner and outer, well in mind and body, at ease and happy. Wishing the same to you and everyone else. xoxo,

Joni

Many thanks @Sarah482!! I'm in the final 6, I should find out if I'm final 2 end of this week... I just want to do something with *meaning* you know?

Kthonis

What didn't get done? *laughs* My therapist gently told me last week that I may need to just learn to accept some things. Accepting problems is not in my nature, I am a problem-solver, a fixer, a builder and pusher. These three years I've barely done any of that. The house we moved into in 2021 still isn't unpacked. The new barnyard wasn't cleared, nor filled with coops and birds- they are in a temporary location. One coop still has a tarp for a roof cover. The feed shed still has a broken door. We lost multiple birds to predators, avoidably. Including all of our keets. We didn't finish outside cleanup before the snow, I don't know what will be ruined in the spring. The garage tent isn't complete. The trailer full of things we had to store there without a storage location is still full. Two dogs need training we haven't been able to start. The ramp to the dog run never happened. I bought the supplies. The bunny hutch was never built, they're still in their dog crate. The office is a still mess. The burn barrel is still full of things to burn. I haven't replaced the title on my old car. Another old car needs to be fixed, it still sits. I haven't managed to temper my relationships with alcohol and weed. I haven't started eating the farm eggs again like I'd hoped now that they're coming in again. I failed to keep up the garden, and wasted some of the meager results. I didn't build out our outdoor entryway before winter. I failed to do a million tiny things my ill wife has wanted. I have never had enough time and energy. I haven't eaten well like I want to, like I yearn to. I haven't started yoga again, which I need. I did't get my holiday shopping done on time, at all. I haven't really gotten into the holiday spirit. I haven't figured out how to set boundaries properly, or communicate my needs without the crushing fear of the pain of someone else's pain. (Don't worry, I have a therapist for a reason) I haven't regained a fraction of my speed and energy prior to 2020. I haven't figured out how to align my heart and my head. I haven't figured out how to find the help we need, that we could use. I haven't figured out how to cope with my wife's aspirations and desires versus her limitations. I didn't keep up with the cat boxes. Or the dishes. Or the recycling. (Oh god, the recycling. I wish the town picked that up.) Or the dogs' nails. Or brushing my teeth. Flossing? HAH. I canceled so many meetings. I fell off going to the chiropractor. I haven't been able to save as much as I wanted. I haven't been able to plan getting out of my day job. I have not done many other things. I haven't learned to accept any of this. What did I do? My wife and I planned our wedding in three weeks- and we pulled. It. Off. I got married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cuddled the dogs and the cats and the bunnies. I danced with the Muscovy ducks (I swear, they dance with us) and pet Cricket the chicken and treated the rest. I fed the "wasted" produce to the fowl, who turned it into eggs. I saw myself through crippling-anxiety-provoking medical issues, and my wife through urgent surgery. I kept going. We hosted Thanksgiving, sanely, happily. We have kept our shih tzu diagnosed with a brain tumor happy and comfortable and perky for a whole year past the average life expectancy. We dealt with canine vestibular disease in our big hound. We said the most loving goodbye to our great pyrenees mix matriarch (Love you forever, Freya). We adopted the sweetest deaf mini aussie, taught her that humans can communicate with her, and she brought the pack together and is teaching them all new things. We kept our cats happy and healthy, to the point where our beloved vet's comments about them made me feel delightfully self-satisfied. The buns are doing just fine. We celebrated my sibling's wedding to another wonderful gentlethem. We are doing our best to seize the recent opportunity to support my wife's nee-nephew-now-likely-niece. Representation, affirmation are all hard to find where we live. We raised a new batch of chickens and ducks to fill in the flock again after the move and the recent predation. We made the birds as safe as possible for the winter. We bought and put up (if not completed) the garage tent. I finally registered the other two cars (no, I don't want so many dang cars, but there are Reasons) I planted trees and bushes and berries. I took our aging, veggie-loving shih tzu and my wife out to the garden so he could munch on the leftovers this fall, and we got the best pictures. I have also forged the best relationship with that guy, who has been my wife's medical alert dog for most of his life- long before I entered the picture. I taught our fancy boy dog how to give kisses. (Actually, he half-taught himself. There's no tongue, so no regrets.) I have learned to trust myself a little more in certain areas. I have drawn some boundaries with my mother. I am learning what I want that relationship to be. I have maintained my brain-intensive day job and kept myself sane in it. I have done many other things. Thank you for this, Amanda, this has been most cathartic. I might try doing this regularly. - Kth

Keni Beth

Just went through a hysterectomy and excission to treat my Endo. I can't get done much for myself. There are little victories now like making lunch for myself and walking around the block. I can't unload the dishwasher. It hurts. I didn't get to see my mom for her birthday on Monday and the box i shipped ahead of time got lost in the mail. But I'm getting better every day. And I'm doing the best I can for my health right now. I'm usually the one who holds everything thing together and now I'm grateful for those holding me together.

sarah482

Oh Damian - my heart breaks for you and your family. I hear you. I see you. Sending you and your family all the love and light. I hope you all have a happy and uncomplicated Christmas. xoxo

Eva Bellmann

I'd didn't rest those 5 precious days I had with paid leave (thank you for your laws, Germany) and kids in school. I didn't make art either. Nor craft. I didn't redo all the hems in my winter cloak. I didn't sew myself a new skirt for Christmas. I didn't manage to get December over without arguing or breakdowns. I baked cookies that look like unicorn poo and taste amazing. I finally got the Cale right after 20years of practice. I finished that fuckingly annoying to knit cursed sweater for my big kid for this Christmas. She will love it and look amazing in it. It is warm. I managed to have every kid have little presents for everybody. I love you

Rebecca Ryan

Try sprinkling cinnamon around the soil if you have some ☺️ They will go elsewhere..mine and lots have marched on out after they are bored lol ..I’ve found it’s a seasonal thing too.

Ash Lozano

Thanks for sharing Amanda. It is so helpful to do this and reflect on the year. I forget everything by the end of the year and am usually left with this kind of hollow feeling about everything I didn't do. All the what-ifs and undone things haunt me sometimes. It is nice to acknowledge that just because we did not do a specific thing does not mean we did nothing. Not done: Finished my book Answers messages from friends in my hometown (not all but some) Decorate apartment Made art for a Christmas charity project. (I usually join every year, but I didn’t this time. ) Fixed my Visa (Still processing, and I’m scared it will be denied.) Set up a digital art shop Start swimming again Start therapy again Get in touch with family outside of my parents since I cut off contact with them. Finish my reading list for this year. Done: Made sad Christmas cards. (Only digital at the moment) Put up a tiny Christmas tree Made a new friend in the city Start a new job (Had three jobs before and they were terrible before this one) Make a new site for my artwork Reached the editing phase of my book Plan a day trip with my partner just for us Emotionally, this was a devastating year, and I do not think I have been more stressed out or defeated before than times during this year, but I'm here. And all those feelings are still there, but there are also good things too. Like the tree and the cards and the friends. My heart goes out to you Amanda, with all the things you moved through this year and continue to go through, all the while still making fucking amazing music that helps me (and so many others here) when going through tough times. Keep on keeping on. It's what we do. The dark continues coming, but we make light for each other. Love you <3

Damian Masterson

Thank you! It will be what it will be and that will be more than enough. Love to you, too! ❤️❤️❤️

Rusty Bias

I feel like I mostly get nothing important done in life. But I did get my step father buried in the graveyard outside the house. I am giving my kid good holidays. I have latibulated. I have been I. Happy Holidays, all.

Chip Patton

"I’ve spent a lot of time with my son." -- The rest pales.

Rebecca Ryan

Oh ice baths..Melbourne? Haha.. I wasn’t there but really wanted to. next time..no doubt. Creek bath sounds amazing. Go you x

Michaela Mab

I didn't get my finances in order. I didn't pay off all my debts. I didn't finish unpacking and decluttering after moving apartments. I didn't make working out a habit. I didn't stay on top of my self-employed job responsibilites. I didn't keep up therapy appointments. I didn't get a bedframe. I didn't call my dad after my parents broke up. I read more books. I did more magic. I did find a dream apartment that immediately felt like home, and I magicked it and got it and moved in. I did celebrate all the sun and moon festivals, some in a small private way, some in a big, public leading-a-ceremony way. I stepped into the priestess and the hierophant archetypes and commited. I learned from death and grief. I reclaimed dance for myself and for my joy and performed solo, not just with my company and my students, but with myself. I befriended the neighbourhood crows. I found new hobbies and passions. I looked and felt into the ugly shadowy parts of relationships, had cathartic conversations and came out the other side with a heart broken open and filled with love.

Alondra Machuca

What I haven't done: * Resolve the last money thing that keeps me attached to a toxic friendship that keeps trying to hurt me... it's still too much. * Start that one performance proyect that I wanna do to apply to a festival in NY. * Reconnect with people that I haven't seen in a while. What I have accomplished: * I finally made the decision to continue my career, and worked on a plan to return to teaching next year. * I finished a documentary with my best friend! After two years and a lot of hard work, it's done. * I finally worked on my emotional and mental health as I should have. It's not perfect, but it's in control and that's the best gift I could give myself. * I traveled to teach at the largest congress of my specialty in the world, which was a lifelong dream finally fulfilled. * I have been in a relationship all this year, and it is a blessing in my life. * I eliminated from my life some of the relationships that proved harmful, and allowed me to discover those that were real and unconditional. * I returned to the stage and returned to making art, after thinking I had nothing more to say.

Hugo Barata

After two burnouts I quit my job last year around the holidays: I haven't been able to get another job, I haven't been able to take care of my mental health (bipolar strugling with the 3rd depressive episode this year) I haven't been able to support my partner But not all has been bad I have been able to be honest to myself in the messy situation I am in I stop feeling guilty about being down all the time I hire a career coach (in addition to therapy) to help me figure some shit out.

Caren Helms

Thanks for the chance to confess, Amanda: I haven't wrapped all the family Christmas presents I haven't gotten anything for my (grown) son for Christmas I haven't cleaned all the ruckus out of my dining room so we can use it for Christmas I'll also confess that: I'm glad my grown son won't be visiting for Christmas (much as I love him, he's exhausting!) I have NO desire to tackle all that shit in my dining room (most of which was dragged into my house by my other two grown children)

Alison Hope Ferrara

I didn’t start either of the two podcasts I had been planning. I didn’t started the online classes I bought for voice over training . I didn’t go back to the gym. I didn’t practice the bass. I didn’t pick up my camera and start shooting again. BUT: I did start therapy again ( after a scary few months of very dark thoughts ) and I am doing better mentally because of it. I did address and started working on my chronic back pain issues. I did start baking again. I did clean out my mess of a closet and donate a bunch of clothes. I did get a job after being COVID unemployed for a year.( but the job doesn’t serve me well so looking for a new one) Although no gym visits , I did start taking better care of my overall health. I did get to 10 live shows this year that I feel helped save my life . ( the Dolls Saturday show at The Colony included) 🫶😌Here’s to making room again for my art / creativity and managing my anxiety 😌🫶 AND Thank you, always , Amanda for EVERYTHING!💜🌈🎶✨🎡🤘

Dara Dunham

What I haven't done: Anything for the upcoming Christmas holiday, besides bake a batch of cookies. No gifts, no decorations. I'm in the middle of moving by the end of the year, as well as starting a new job one month ago. The concept alone has taken a backseat in my mind. I did buy my son one thing he wanted, but it isn't wrapped and there is no tree. What I have done: Answered and responded to a multitude of people reaching out to me after the place I used to work closed two weeks ago. It feels good to have so many people reach out and know I had a positive impact on them, but in the same breath, it was, and still is, a toxic revolving door of dependence and I feel like I can't distance myself from it. It's hard to tell if it isn't some cosmic persistence urging me to move forward with waylaid plans to buy the restaurant and do it myself, but the attachment of that place to my identity feels unhealthy. All this has offered perspective on what really matters, though. The impending storm is rolling in, I'm going grocery shopping after work and spending the weekend with my family and the people who matter most. I just moved my cats to the new house last night so I only have one place to be. I'm safe, healthy, and working on being happy for the first time in a long time. It's new and exciting and damn, I needed to write this and read this and it feels so good not to feel alone in feeling behind. You're amazing, Amanda. I'm sure after you wrote this you got up off the floor, took a swig of coffee and said "where do I start?" Small progress is still progress. Merry Christmas, Love, Dara

Lynn Robinson

I’ve always made 2 Christmas a cakes for my family - yes 2- we love them so much. This year I haven’t made any. It’s my youngest sons birthday on Christmas Day and I haven’t made him a cake …yet!! I also haven’t finished knitting a birthmas jumper for him I haven’t posted any Christmas cards - every time I receive 1 in the post I feel very guilty. I haven’t done a decent yoga session for a few days. I have been an emotional support for many friends. I have managed to keep calm about life generally. I have smiled at a lot of strangers . I have managed to buy presents my family need. I am getting to spend quality time with my family over the next few days. Lots of love to everyone out there xxx

Purl Evol (Chrissy)

Well I'm just outside of Chicago and we're about to get a bunch of snow then a huge temp drop. We had to cancel visiting the inlaws because they are immunocompromised and my husband has been sick since Monday, my son got it yesterday and now I'm feeling it. Oh the joys of living in a small apartment. My work week starts tomorrow, so I won't be getting holiday pay if I call in, but thankfully (for once) we aren't totally broke ATM so at least we can survive without a week of my pay. But what hasn't been done is eating at me. I have a box of dog and cat toys and a gift card for my son who lives in Wisconsin (with my grandpuppy & grandkitties) sitting here and it's making me so sad that he won't get it in time for Christmas. I guess it's ok. We didn't even decorate this year. I'm just going to pretend it's just another day.

Kate Santuccci

I have spent almost every day in the last 5 weeks either at the hospital or hospice. We lost my partner's dad just after Thanksgiving, and then his brother died 3 days ago. Gutted. Paralyzed. So... I haven't baked anything, I haven't bought any gifts. I haven't sent any cards. I haven't cleaned my house, I haven't gone to my job in a couple weeks, I haven't finished my show that opens in 2 weeks (I'm an artist), I haven't been the mom that I want to be for my grieving boys. They're adults, but they lost their grandfather and their beloved uncle and this is their first experience with this level of grief and I can't fucking fix it. So I'm staring into space with a cup of tea and waiting for... I don't know. I just want to go to my studio and paint out the mess that is in my head and heart. But for now, a holiday will happen whether I bought anything or made anything or not. One hour at a time. I feel ya, Amanda.

Coila

-We made a gingerbread house with my son's friend -We made fancy cupcakes with another of his friends -We had a homeschool group Christmas party -We bought most of the presents on time... All of the ones for the little one... -My marriage is healing. I don't always believe such a thing is possible but things are nice right now and I'm hopeful. -I have a support system. They love me and have done so much to show me that and to support me! This one's huge. -I still don't know what I'm doing for stocking stuffers or how to talk to my little one about Santa (is he going to feel lied to? Is he going to feel like he missed out if we don't?) -I don't feel ready to reconnect with my mom. I do want to but... I am not sure how to get my boundaries up appropriately for it to be an emotionally safe enough relationship often enough. Sometimes, it's amazing. Others it's really hard. She may have disowned me in her impatience (she threatened to) and made the decision for me and I may have to make peace with that... -I don't know how to reconnect with a friend who is justifiably scared and hurting and, in such a state, lashed out at me in a very painful way (mostly painful because she seemed to feel it was justified)...

Daniel Allen

I didn't get my roof repaired. I didn't get emissions finished on my car. Didn't get my tag renewed. Didn't get the front room cleaned. Didn't get the oil changed. Didn't get the tree branch cut down. But, on the other hand, there's a lot of stuff I did get done.

Garlia Cornelia

I too have piles of undone. I am surrounded by laundry that is not folded or needs to be washed. Undone. But in some ways grateful for what is accomplished.

Justine Rydzeski

I haven’t gotten over the year of disaster…

worm32b

This time of year, I always find myself scraping for the remains of feeling productive and satisfied. I try to get around to pieces of media I haven't touched or finished, contacting friends/family, writing more things, or attempting my own mental well-being. That being said... The Nags: I still can't drive myself. I'm 19 years old and have a permit. This becomes a problem basically everyday. It eats me alive and I hate feeling like a burden to others. Because I can't really transport myself...I still have clothes and books and things I want to donate in bags in my room in the closet, but I have nowhere i'd like to easily. Still haven't found some t shirts and other things I've been looking for. I could've read more books; including one in particular that I've probably had since mid-year. I've enjoyed it enough, I'm just a slow reader and the book is not as enticing anymore. Still, I want to finish it. I should've submitted to more contests this year. I write a decent amount of poetry. The last contest I considered, I was too late. I have so many journals and I barely made a dent or scratch in any. I was going to be committed in telling someone how I feel about them. By possibly asking them out; but I didn't do it. I was scared of the consequences; fearing rejecting as I've been before, and losing our current connection. There have been more than a few occasions where my cowardice reigned over honesty. I try to be straightforward and not twist things, but I often hide in my shell, rather than cultivate it to be anything more than protection. For the first time, I broke up a friendship because of it being possibly toxic. While this could be seen as a good thing, I still wonder if I could've done more. The Success: I got my expired permit renewed a few months ago. It took forever to be able to do. There should be a car I can drive eventually. I'm still working at a job I don't like (have been for a year) to get benefits for online college. And it's working. I'm a student and saving money right now. Yet, at my job, I have some wonderful people I confide in and converse with. Many of them are fellow artists; they make music, drawing, writing, etc.. I also made a few new friends. I met someone I haven't seen in years coincidentally, and we see each other often when we both have free time. I wrote things. I made some good poems this year. I have one in an anthology now. I couldn't have had that without this Patreon. I saw some wonderful artists; including one of my favorites this year. I got around to a lot of media, without what feels like overdoing it. Lots of good stuff out there, but damn can be hard to find or start. I bought things for myself. For others. Refrained from buying things, also bought more things. Took pictures of things I didn't buy to accept that I didn't. I still have those. I think I gave some damn good gifts. I probably have cleaned the house more than I ever have in my life. I saw some great movies with friends and by myself. I really appreciated the physical theatre again. I also saw a musical this year, starring a friend of a friend. I started a dream journal. I do plan to use it, but loosely, and I won't keep it too strict. One of my stress relievers is going on the swingset. It's awakening when it's blistering cold outside at night, and I stare up at the stars, with my headphones on. I've done it a lot this year. I've come up with solutions, ideas, art, and commitments there. This year I tried not to hesitate as much if there's something that I think of to say. Say what I want to say, when I'm debating if I should. I'll come up with things or imagine conversations with friends, but often never would go farther. While I'm not saying to say whatever comes to mind, your honest self is capable of separate wiring than all of the rooted pretense. Edit: I was reading through the other comments, and for myself, wanted to include this. I finally got a haircut, taking off inches of hair. I've had it long for about seven years. My friend helped me cut it. After feeling off for about a week or so, I'm glad to have made the change. Thanks Amanda for the inspiration! I kinda did something similar in a few Google documents, but having it float in a bubble on the internet can't hurt. Good luck with all of The Things, and even if you don't get around to some of them, that's all apart of the ride.

Alexander McKenzie

Hi Amanda, My wife remembers the day she was in the Fiske school office for some PTA reason when your teacher sent you to the office for wearing pajamas to school. Mrs Burns sent you home to change into something more appropriate. Two days ago I drove one of my twin 8-year-old grandsons to school for pajama day - students and teachers were all invited to wear pajamas for the last day before the winter break. I couldn't help but think of you and note the changing times. Love, Alex

Jenna Bruner

I've been married 38 years and I still don't know what to do with my wedding dress. It just gets moved from one place to another as I need room. 💜

Shiranne

I haven’t emailed the professor I meant to email. I haven’t sent my coteacher the photos I promised her a month ago. I haven’t taken the car to get its oil changed. I haven’t finished recording songs I promised Kickstarter backers years ago… (I feel like they’re not good enough to send yet 😬) I haven’t sorted through family photos we spent a bunch of money on but haven’t printed or shared. I didn’t buy my twins the birthday gift I meant to buy (they don’t know or care but *I* know). I didn’t get a haircut. But…I birthed a new human 11 days ago!!!!!! So I think it’s ok. :)

Caitlin Brown

The big one... I didn't put up the tree this year. I just couldn't find the time. I did find a small porcelain tree that has lights and called it good enough <3. I didn't get the laundry done before the travel, we didn't get to see step-dad because of the weather. I didn't give my two small children baths yet. I haven't baked a single cookie, and man I love baking. We did get to drive through a lighted park and my 3yo loved it. We did get to pick up my step-son and take him to Christmas Eve with my family for the first time ever. I did get my husband a gift, and he loves it. I did clean the cat box. I don't have all the presents wrapped yet but I will. I don't have the stockings hung yet but I will. It's supposed to snow a lot here tonight in the midwest, I'm looking forward to watching it and maybe going and playing for awhile :). Merry Christmas, everybody.

Hanne Munkholm

Tomorrow we are celebrating early Christmas with my 94 year old dad. Me, my husband and my step daughter. At his place but I get do all the work. I have a plan, and all the groceries I need, and even some presents and cookies. That is what I got done this time , and only that.

Tym Rourke

I haven't brought in the garden statuary to keep it safe from snow/cold/ice damage. And we're getting snow/cold/ice in the next 24 hours. I haven't wrapped presents. I haven't finished the laundry. My vacuum cleaner isn't working, and I haven't figured out if we should go ahead and buy a new one. I haven't apologized to my daughter for losing my marbles over the past few days when she suffered from "too much holiday" and had a meltdown. I still need to finish my work so I can actually unplug during the holiday break. I haven't balanced our checkbook in two months. I haven't gone through the pile of mail and bills that are stacked so high on my desk that it's about to fall over on top of me. However - I did put on Tracy Thorn's "Tinsel and Lights" Christmas album to ease my ennui (it's the most ennui-easing holiday album ever). I wrapped a few presents last night. I got my insurance company to cover my wife's needed MRI so we can figure out why it hurts for her to stand up for more than 10 minutes (though it didn't give us an answer, it was still a step). I took a shower this morning, and my socks match. And, I did take 5 minutes away from my stress and feelings of failure and anxiety, and typed this little comment into this little thread full of wonderful people because it's always worth it. Peace, all.

Jenna Bruner

"The only way out is through" I share your struggle with bpd and depression. I wish you all the best on your path to a quiet mind.

Brett Gleason

Thanks for this space Amanda. So, I moved to LA last year and I have just been awful at getting out - seeing and playing shows, meeting people. For a while it was because of a busted ankle but it's also just because...I like being cozy at home, making music and being lonely. Lol. Can't wait to see you and Brian on NYE however!

Samaire Wynne

Amanda, darling, take the gingerbread ant thingy out of the freezer and throw it in the outside trash. Once ants claim a gingerbread house and lick it all over with their little ant tongues, it's theirs. Bugs on food=throw in trash.

Samaire Wynne

I find it very helpful to: 1. Do not put a deadline during the holidays, if you can help it. 2. Make a to do list and try to do just one thing off it every day, that will give you a small sense of accomplishment. 3. If you can: deligate. Have your assistant obtain and assemble Ash's bunk beds, for example. 4. Feeling overwhelmed is normal. Just breath and go to #2 above.

Melissa

I didn’t clean my house, i didn’t get the 20k maintenance done on my car, i barely remember to buy cat food/litter, I’ve flaked on so many friends because my ass is glued to my couch - I’m overwhelmed. I spent a lot of time grieving. I also spent a lot of time loving my friends by cooking for them. At the end of the day, we’re all doing the best we can. Yesterday my best was better than it is so far today. Sending you love and comfort. 💖

Jenna Bruner

Should have Could have Would have Decluttered my house Read more books Done more art Managed time better Walked more Ate better Loved more Regretted less Made a friend But instead ... Stayed positive Was kind to others Optimistic about the future and everything ahead in the new year Watched/listened to Amanda webcast/voice rants on repeat just for company (love your voice) Re-read The Four Agreements, twice! Listened to audio books/podcasts to better understand myself Gave and received love at every opportunity Decided to learn to play the ukulele (in my mind, first song I learned) Got a part time job doing something fun to help finance a big family trip in February Thank you Amanda for all you do for me, and for all those you inspire, and for all your eccentricities that make some of us feel like we fit somewhere. Thank you fellow patrons who have shared here. If all of this was a giant list of dids and didn'ts I could have checked allot on that list. To see that we are more alike than different makes me feel comfortable here. Wishing everyone a beautiful holiday. It's been -30°f or colder for the last week (no wind chill). Knowing this is my last Christmas in North Pole Alaska after nearly 30years is hitting home. The spirit of the holidays is strong here 🎄❄💜

Chris Valentine

My short-term disability ended in October, and my position at work was eliminated. I have not sought new employment. But I have refocused my energy on arting. I have not been able to do many things due to physical pain and anxiety. But I did find a great therapist (I hate that word, but maybe she can help me deal with that one day) I connect with who gives me homework, and I got a steroid injection in my neckspine. I did not finish writing the novel I’ve been outlining. But I did outline most of it and have read 85 books this year. And I’ve done a ton of the learning stuff, so my story won't suck when it's finished, and had a blast doing it. I haven’t cleaned off and organized my desk. But I have started an Etsy shop and made a few sales. I have not stayed in touch with the people I used to work with. But I have reconnected with long-lost friends and strengthened friendships that I’ve neglected. And I’ve started to feel a sense of community where my physical body is for the first time in 20 years. I haven’t been as motivated as I’d like to be. But I have continued to learn, open my mind more, let people in, and grow as a human.

Missy

The important things are these, the rest is just the baggage of life that confuses things, breathe and move on "I haven’t gotten Ash a bunk bed. I haven’t given away all these clothes and shoes that don’t fit him. I haven’t mended all the clothes that I’ve managed to rip. They’re just in a huge pile. I haven’t put Ash’s gingerbread house back together since it got covered with ants and I disassembled it and put it in the freezer."

Amanda Eckert

did I accomplish my goals for this year? no. but did I look after my physical and mental heatlh? not at all. but did I maintain a proper diet and sleep schedule? listen...

Camio

We have a pile of boxes filled with clothes to donate. In the corner of the bedroom. For more than six months. I haven't kept a routine wellness practice... Yoga, rowing... Or find a personal trainer. Our house is half used, with every intention to remodel rooms we keep piling things up. The things we were supposed to try to sell. I've spent over a month in medical distress. I didn't get to write or read as much as I wanted. Even so, better now than the year before. Moved forward and back. I passed my preliminary PhD exams. I'm better with talking to my doctors, all of them, maybe I should've asked to be anally probed sooner. I started my journey through hair removal therapy.

Barbarella

-Didn't stop hardcore grieving a friend I lost -Didn't lose more weight -Didn't clean out my sons closet -Didn't save money -Didn't take more pictures -Did get a new wonderful job -Did clean the garage -Did decorate for holidays -Did travel for music/concerts -Did give love and money to causes I believe in

Sean Wheeler

I started a new career writing in the communications field I didn’t find the next step in that career (yet) I’ve stabilized my mental health in a way I thought was impossible I didn’t find a way out of the triggering environment I live in I built a computer for the first time I found a unicorn for my book collection (The Colour of Magic, first edition first pressing) I’ve learned how to trust in hope, even when I can’t see a way out.

Ashleigh M. Ferreira-Bartlett

I am so, so proud of you. I tried to start a list, but it was daunting and scary and then seemed selfish and superfluous. I'm really proud of you. I'll try to make myself proud very soon.

Elizabeth Gunn

It's hard to even start teasing out the didn't because it all feels like didn't. I know I've done many things but it's like my brains hides those things from me in an effort to get me to do more things. Okay brain, what have we done? We volunteered to work at the cold weather shelter, whether we get summoned or not, we sent the goddamn email. We got really good presents for SpouseThing. We paid off the credit card. We wrote letters and sent money to the niblings. We stayed up all night with a lit candle to ensure the return of the sun (good job, well done). We did not: pay those tolls, pay those tickets, get presents for literally anyone else, buy any reasonable food item from the grocery store, decorate the christmas tree, do the laundry, be calm for five fucking seconds. God, life is hard. These things are so small and they cause so much panic and distress. I wish I could be in an enormous cozy room with all of you, with hundreds of couches but still somehow a size where you can talk to anyone you please without needing to shout, and we had a pot of soup big enough to feed all of us. And cheese straws. And huge squashy cushions. And a holy, gentle, friendly light bathing us all to give us strength and peace.

William OSaile

Remember - all you can do, is all you can do. Be you, darling and we’re all here for you.

Brent

It sounds like you've had a lot going on and it's completely understandable that not everything got done. It's important to remember that it's okay to not be able to accomplish everything on our to-do lists, especially during the busy holiday season. It's also important to take the time to recognize and appreciate the things that did get done, no matter how small they may seem. It's great that you were able to write a good song, spend time with your son, make new friends, and even have people over to your house. Those are all things to be proud of and they make it all worth it. It's okay to let go of the things that didn't get done and focus on the things that did. We can always try to tackle those undone tasks in the future. Thanks for sharing and for reminding us to take a step back and appreciate the things we do accomplish.

Nico miller

Thanks for the gentle reminder of this. The energy spent. I am going to make a list. I did accomplish a lot. And there's a lot I didn't. 💜💜🤘

Anayte Delahay

I haven’t knit that scarf I wanted to gift to a partner. I haven’t done any of the usual christmas things - drawn a card, planned what to eat, prepared any of the foods, cleaned or organised in the house. Didn’t start fencing again before the new year like I totally imagined I could. Didn’t finish that one book cover commission. Haven’t seen my cats in months :( I have made a baby. I have taken care of that baby nigh-continously since September I got presents or present-promises for four people in total. I have started exercising again - if only once a week, still more than none. I have kept in close and warm contact with my cat-owning partner and have gotten pictures and videos of said cats ;_;

Llaura Sanacore Rubin

🌟🎄💥Felicitous Celebration Of The Alleged Emergence Of Jesus Of Nazareth On This Planet!💥🎄🌟 🌨❄☃️💥

Valerie Jaruzel

The didn’t’s: So many books unread So many ideas and art projects didn’t make it to paper (or) Figure out the next steps in building a career, which feels important to me here in midlife Get my 3.5 yo to use the potty (c’monnnn buddy it’s not so bad!!) The Did’s: (Road trips and new places are my love language) Drive to Austin, TX (from Detroit) w my fam to visit other fam, their biggest adventure yet Drive to Space Coast, FL and cry in awe of the sunrise over the ocean Weekend shamanic workshops in Cincinnati which are always heck yeah Deepened a meaningful friendship Enjoyed the heck out of great stream of fantasy-genre television that is booming now for whatever reason The currently: Listening to my 7yo jam out in other room with random objects while typing this out - I love that raw, unfiltered just going for it bc it’s fun who cares if it’s good thing that kids tend to do 🖤🖤🖤🐌

Jane Sharp

1. I haven’t cleared out my cupboards stuffed with years of unused junk that I promised myself I would do this year 2. I haven’t deep cleaned my kitchen 3. I haven’t decorated my bathroom even though the wallpaper is peeling off the walls 4. I haven’t produced any homemade Christmas cards for friends and family 5. I have found a little pocket of happiness in my life which isn’t dependent on anyone else’s approval 6. Can’t think of anything else. No. 5 is all I need. ❤️

Teresa Toro

My email inbox is a mess. I cleared the living room walls ages ago in preparation for painting and still haven't done it. I continue waffling about school and I'm pretty tired of my inner entropy; I just can't move on it as I keep considering different courses of study. I haven't done anything to finish recording two songs I started pre-pandemic. The shelf units in the workroom are just stuffed with random boxes; I am nowhere near organizing that room even though I feel so claustrophobic in there because of the mess... but what's done? The tree is up this year and it's very pretty. I lost a few pandemic pounds. I am keeping the cooking and living spaces mostly tidy. The bedroom is also a lot neater. (The messier my space, the more distracted I get.) I am writing songs again, for real, and have a lot of ideas to keep productive and creative. And I feel like I moved forward in healthy ways this year with a couple of personal relationships. The cats are healthy and snuggly. That's not bad. I think 2023 can be a good year for me and I am ready for it.

Stephanie Quinlan

I didn't meet my reading goal for 2022. Not even close. I didn't post to my blog at least once a month. In fact, I barely posted at all. I didn't kick my time-sucking, doom-scrolling social media habit. I didn't declutter my house. I didn't lose 10 pounds. I didn't create my will and power of attorney. I didn't plant a garden this year, despite having piles of seeds. I didn't finish that huge cross stitch project I started in late 2021. I didn't practice calligraphy. I did enter a microfiction contest and made it through the first two rounds. I wrote over 40 poems. I travelled to New York, Montreal and Prague. I saw over 50 live shows. I did a 30 day yoga challenge. I started lifting weights again. I started riding lessons again after 30 years, as a milestone birthday gift to myself.

Robert Williams

Things achieved: - I (we) traveled across Australia to finally meet our newest granddaughter who turned 5 this year. - I opened ‘my book’ after encouragement from my children to keep going on something I’ve been writing for 6 years. - I spend a full week in my shed on my lathe and make gifts with my hands for my big sister who cried when I gave them too her saying how lovely they were and how clever her little brother is. We’re both in our 60’s 🤣 Things not done … - written my will. - sorted through a wardrobe full of clothes I don’t need/fit into and donate the good, dispose of the unwearable. - finish crying over so many things and so much loss …

Amanda Hunt

Didn’t - have a load of unfinished poems - study more Reo Māori - start writing journal article(s) on migratory bird research that’s been in my head for ocer 2 years! - ditto children’s bird book (similar period of time) BUT - went to Western Australia for 3 weeks in stinking hot tropical leading up to wet season to catch and band said migratory birds - had a job all year (still do), longest job I’ve held after 11 years of health issues getting in the way - grew broccoli and cabbages Merry Christmas everyone xx

Kathryn Weber-Boer

I didn't - make it past week 6 with an unplanned but desperately wanted pregnancy <\3 - finish tidying, let alone cleaning, the house before traveling for the holidays - feed my starter before leaving for said holiday travel - clean up after my daughter's birthday. A month ago - send the last wedding gift thank you card from our wedding 2?... or 3? years ago - get my shit together in time to make government administration stuff done simply (thereby wasting a stupid amount of money) - file my US taxes for 2021 - keep my garden paths weed free But I did: - get the chickens to their holiday babysitter - get an awesome job that I love - plant a lot of flowers, veggies, and trees - love my kid to pieces - support my husband through a downswing - travel again to places I love - confess some hard feelings honestly

Laurie Doscher

Things I didn't get done-some from summer 2022 carried over to winter 2022...I haven't repotted my indoor plants, cleaned up the outdoor plants, burned the burn pile, sewing projects/ideas, called a roofer to see if that's a leak, called a contractor about kitchen remodel (sink hasn't fallen through-yet), raked the leaves so the lawn can see the sun when there is some, and more. I did get a kitten. This week I have Covid so maybe next week some or one of those things might happen.

Kathryn Weber-Boer

Honestly, the clothes and shoes don't have an expiration date! Someone will still need them in 3 months. Or 6.

Ryan Stuck

Things done (or not) - I didn't ideate ending it all so far this year. A first for the books in a long while. Not a huge fan of this time of year, so here's to the streak lasting 'til the new year. Things actually not done - Get my desk in order (starting small). Finish a website I've been sitting on for far too long. Go through my work pics and find the best ones for posting. And of course I forgot the whole reason why I started this thread in the first place...so let's add improving my memory to the list.

James Cowie

OK things I haven't done, stating with those I feel most guilt about: Posted the ever growing pile of gifts to my family in the UK (I'm looking at it now and am fighting the urge to hide it again), taken better care of myself physically and mentally, got out of the house as much as I should, extinguished feelings of lack of self-worth and uselessness (thanks mum), removed toxicity and all those who bring it to my life, learned why and changed things and truths I once believed to be absolute are not necessarily so, learned and accepted as much as I could, produced more Art, encouraged others to produce more Art, helped others to produce more Art, helped others generally, be kinder, Enough for the moment.....Things I have done, starting with those I am most proud of: moved interstate to support a close friend doing it very very tough, helping with their assisted suicide at the end, shedding things, replacing things, finding out what and whom matters to me, removing some of the toxic things around me, learned, made new friends, seen new things, showered more, made my bed, produced more Art, encouraged my friends to produce more Art, become more tolerant (a little), realised perspective plays the biggest part of how you see something, begun to realise I am not useless or worthless (work in progress) ... hmm this was "off the cuff" if I think about it the lists become endless...

Samantha teal

What hasn’t gotten done: - I haven’t lowered my debt to income ratio. - I haven’t gotten a better paying position at work - I haven’t gotten my kid set up with a new therapist - I haven’t gotten my self set up with a therapist - I haven’t saved enough money - I haven’t trained my dogs enough - I haven’t finished painting my house - I haven’t gotten my house clean enough. - I haven’t made any friend here. - I haven’t gone to the gym - I haven’t lost as much weight as I need to - I haven’t decorated the Christmas tree. - I haven’t sent out Christmas cards - I haven’t looked at my child’s grades What has gotten done: - I have physically read 2.5 books in the last month. - I have put up the Christmas tree - I have folded a lot of laundry - I have maintained a perfect payment history. - I made Chili today - I have consistently gone to work - I have started eating more mindfully - I have started planning my garden for spring

Mark Leonard

I haven't gotten work. I have got 0 exposure for the 246 tracks I released this year. What I have got done? I composed, mixed and mastered 246 track OMG! I have another 400 or so that will be ready for release by the beginning of next year. I guess I need to stop focusing on producing and start focusing on marketing.

Issa Rodri

I didn't mediate my family's drama on the cusp of 30, didn't decide to end it when I was laid off. I did survive and try to plant little seeds, and I kept my plants alive this whole year. It's been... another year.

Len Tower Jr.

Impressive list of DONEs. Especially the Parenting! Did Not: - Travel to see family Continuing: - Downsizing & decluttering - Increasing fitness variety & time Did: - Started finding new friends to replace those who moved during Covid - Started coming out of COVID isolation to see a few plays, visit a few museums, & volunteer at one of Mali's ORGS. - Continued to support my friends - Fully vaxxed & triple boosted

emptybliss007

I didn’t -finish all the diy presents I signed myself up to make this year. -get my finances on track. -order my partners gift until this morning because I was holding out hope that I’d finally finish one of the bajillion probects that I have started for him but not finished. -update my resume to apply for my dream job. But I did -make a delicious orange cranberry cheesecake. -make my stuffing and green bean casserole in advance to try and avoid fibro burnout. -make shrimp po boys while dancing and singing in the kitchen with my partner- which may honestly be the highlight of my entire year. -got some of the best doggo cuddles. -finally started sharing my art with people again. My body is in agony. I am extremely stressed about the world around us- especially the rampant intolerance, bigotry, and hate. I’m ready to pull my hair out, hide under the covers and cry forever… but still my heart is so full and somehow I’m excited to see where the future takes me.

Sara Blue

I did not: - quit smoking - wrote a book - love all my friends enough - call my friends living abroad often - manage to go swimming or sauna every week as I wanted - get up early – travel to to family over Christmas - went to the doctor last week -get angry when I saw the pal today that did analsex with me without consent three years ago I did: - reading a lot - writing almost 5 days a week on my dissertation "lust for pain – trying to understand" - win a science slam with that - playing a nice Christmas concert with my harp - wrote to my family and friends - met new friends - yoga every day - almost quit drinking too much - fast for 5 days - love a lot - write poems - a lot of cooking - got enough sleep - made a friend for 20 years now that got angry and yelled at the pall when I couldn't I am fine.

EmVT

this post made my day when I read it, I had been feeling my own list but not facing it. never get tired of hearing you say out loud what I can't quite bring myself to acknowledge. 🙏 also, I collect colors to use in photoshop and your robe happens to be the exact shade of blue I tried to make a couple of years ago but couldn't--beautiful, thanks! your note 'my band is back together' is doing a lot of heavy lifting ("did you mean" stood up a three day sold out wildly successful barn burning residency 😄 plus NYE plus plus plus etc) didn't do: the list is long, but if I'm being honest, top of the list is figure out what to do with the rest of my mom's stuff, she passed in 2018 and it still hurts too much. did: much to celebrate, I started writing again after taking a course by Helen Sword, took care of my health by eating well and getting enough sleep, did some good work to help the planet, and donated time and money as much as I was able.

AnaMarija Abramovic

Didn't: Stop smoking, again Do any of the Masterclasses I've been paying for for the third year in a row Sort out my health situation, which has been on status quo since last year Get my house in order Read enough Work enough Sort out my finances Did: Translate two Terry Pratchetts with more to come (that's four down now) Drag my kids (kicking and screaming) over the finish line of high school, which looked unlikely at one point Start journalling (and stopped because I got sick but now I know it works) Start exercising (and stopped, same reason but now I know how to organise myself to do it) Read less than I planned but enough Get COVID TWICE and not die. Good enough for me. Next year will be better. Sending you all hugs

David Witteveen

Not done: - Read a tenth of the books I wanted to read - Learn as much about the my new work as I wanted to - Catch up with friends as much as I thought I would after lockdown ended - Avoid catching COVID Done: - Made four new zines - Started a new job, in a university library - Finished my Master of Library Information Degree - Realised that -- holy shit, I'm a librarian now!

Jo

Didn't: manage to avoid getting sick - covid in the spring and miscellaneous aggressive cold all through December

Jake Marcus

Not done: The purge - a massive decluttering of clothing, unused things, bank statements from 1997 and the like Get my middle child to speak to me Write the grad school paper due mid January (yet!) Make the gluten free latke recipe (still a few days!) Rake the all leaves before the ice froze my backyard into tundra Lose my covid weight Find a new job Get the most recently adopted cat to stop biting Get healthier Quit cloves (tho I hadn’t intended to) Meet my Goodreads annual book goal Build my house in Guatemala Done: A great start on the purge - just today I shredded a savings account passbook from 2004 Fenced my land in Guatemala while leaving path for locals Improved my land and garden in the suburbs of Philly by pouring in my soul with the nitrogen healing land, garden, and soul Started EMDR Survived 12+ hours of being deposed in my lawsuit against the school district that let my high school teacher rape me for 3 years Kept my job, got a raise (albeit minuscule) Got a trainer at the gym and mostly go once a week Made thanksgiving dinner without any of my children coming which made me sob but ended up having a fantastic time with my brother’s family learning my sister-in-law is amazing. I adore her after 17 years of keeping my distance. And she taught me the word “twunt” which I now use to describe SO many people. Put on foot in front of the other even when I must use my cane

Erin Taylor

I didn’t take care of myself at all I didn’t nurture my marriage I didn’t lose the weight I said I would BUT I did get my son into therapy I did get my daughter to every netball game, dance class and performance I was there for all the school ‘stuff’ It’s balanced okay, I guess

Rebecca Brisbin

I did not succeed in paying myself a living wage with my business this year, but I did gross 30k, which is the most I’ve ever made with it so far. I’ve been reading a shit ton of self-help books, cutting the fat, and molding my life. I’m also breaking codependency and trauma bonds with friends and family.

Coila

Translated Terry Pratchetts?? COOL! Which ones? Into which language(s)? (If you don't mind me asking... heh)

AnaMarija Abramovic

Guards! Guards! (Last year, came out this year) Men at Arms Wyrd Sisters (both coming out next year) Into Croatian, and I edited the existing translation of Good Omens and translated the screenplay as well ❤️

Coila

I started reading Pratchett (over 20 years ago) because of Guards! Guards! I LOVE that one. Those are all great! What a lot of work that all must have been. Was it fun?

Vandy H. Hall

So comment here was almost on “Things I didn’t do.” But I listened to your song, cried a little, and realized that I probably needed to write one of those lists. It really reminds me of some listing I was doing while incredibly depressed at the end of the summer- “things I failed at,” (written while crying) which was followed by “things I did instead.” Things I didn’t do: Climb a single mountain Descend a single canyon Manage to feel financially responsible (I don’t know if this is ever achievable when you’re poor, really) Find a migraine treatment that helped me become really functional Apply for disability Help my partner get a new long-term counselor Put out most of the videos I was planning on Attend national Cave rescue training Put together the felting kits I’ve been planning for years Do a new amazing felting project Blow glass for most of the year Get caught up on orders and commissions Do any of the Patreon things I planned on Re-open my Etsy store Get my Christmas lights up (there are still a couple of days, right?) Things I did do: Get outside Find new cave leads Get my partner into intensive therapy Get my own counselor, get rid of my own counselor, arrange for a new counselor in the new year Leave a toxic relationship Look past my trauma to give my partner a second chance after they made changes and started helping themselves Do a spur of the moment fund raiser to fund getting my first stickers printed Use digitally media to scale my artwork into something re-sellable that can keep (hopefully) making me money Release new t-shirt designs Start doing shows again Get long covid Close my Etsy store because I got covid Do physical therapy for POTS caused by long covid Go to a canyoning practice Become the full-time parent of a teenager Get on new migraine medication that helps a little bit Get on SNAP Feel the fleeting second that is the holidays when you’re busy being self-employed and trying to survive Get a kitten Get arthritis drugs for my cat Survive another cat dying Re-engaged with social media Join a gym Started climbing again Start planning a “100 things”kickstarter to finally get those felting kits done Get invited to be the artist GoH at a con Feel lots of imposter syndrome Get on ADHD medication Survive

Joanna Lindblad

i got done what needed to be done... fuck the rest...

DebbieG

I did not declutter as much as I need to. It is stressing me out, so I must make the time, it will make my life better. I did not get enough exercise. I only read one book this year. I did take my first long vacation/long plane ride since the pandemic. I did finally see and spend time again with many family members and good friends who I have missed during pandemic. I handled and scheduled repairs to my abode by myself, because the person who used to do it all passed away last year. I tried to get more exercise by taking more walks in the cozy nature park that is near my home. This needs to increase. There is more for both sides of this list, but I can’t think of them. Amanda, I appreciate your list and everyone else’s.

Marie O'Reilly

I DIDN'T Completely get over the loss of a lifelong friendship five years ago Bullet Journal properly (but I kept trying after each blip) Avoid covid Start lifting weights again (or dust the multigym in the garage) Declutter the house Put up any Christmas decorations. I DID Persist as kindly as possible with the NHS till I got my teenager diagnosed with ADHD (after autism last year) and onto meds Started and kept going to my parents for lunch most Fridays. Love my husband and kept on figuring out how to be together Made a new friend, Phoenix MT Noah :) Discovered I'm autistic and wrote blogs about it... which means I'm now part of a new group at work trying to figure out what kind of neurodiversity network we might want to have. Learned to be kinder to myself Read all the comments on this post and wept and smiled for a lot of lovely people. Plant some trees at the local park. Lifted up a lot of people and was thankful for uplifting by others. Started a gratitude journal. Discovered 5 Rhythms and learned to dance who I am. Thank you for this, it's been good for me to realise how much I achieved, especially for myself.

Sheila L. Kalkbrenner

Didn’t Allow my broken heart to stop me from celebrating my Birthday with kind and loving people. Forget that my goal this winter was to un-volunteer myself from the too many Things that were filling the cracks in my heart but overwhelming my time, mind, and body. Buy Christmas presents because the idea of shopping and peopling and budgeting was just too frickin’ overwhelming. Send out my Christmas Cards on time. Make any hand-made Christmas gifts this year. Did Embrace the wellness practices that make it possible for me to have a life. Get approved to work full-time with accommodations for a spinal cord injury…after NOT being able to successfully do that since 2007. Send out many blessings and love to all of my friends and family via the cosmos because the material method was just too much. Recognize and honor a surprising moment of Grace without expecting it to become something bigger or long-term. Acknowledge and accept the thick scars as they are and brace myself to move forward at my own pace in ways that don't re-open old wounds.

AnaMarija Abramovic

It was really hard work, and frustrating, because he doesn't just do double but triple and quadruple entendres and jokes... but also wonderful fun and I learned loads, and giggled my way through it as I found just the right joke and turn of phrase. My first was Lords and Ladies and I laughed so hard at Greebo in the box my dad came to ask if I was ok. I can't wait to sink my teeth into that one 😃

AnaMarija Abramovic

Sending you huge hugs and just re the bullet journal - I've not been doing it properly either but there's the joy of it - whatever we're doing is right for us, and it gets easier to restart after a blip ❤️❤️

Jorie McCann

1) AFP, ❤️😇 for Angel’s sake, please ask / get/ hire/ find a beloved to find a small trusted team who can help you with all the shit!!!! If i lived in Woodstock (&; trust me, I could- it’s not so far fetched).. I’d be your gal! To hire the team/ to create, to solve, to be a worker bee for you, dear one! 🐝🐝🐝ie: get the sewing (to a seamstress) >the mail.. in piles of 1) important! 2) burn! 3) when you can 4) if not done in a year.. BURN! ❤️ I have no idea how to return & not have it post so sorry for the big fat dumb paragraph. Insomnia brain again.. (Oh! I did it!) DID: not die while directing my NP (Montezuma Youth Alliance.org, yes, we’d love your support!) am doing: road trip to support the amazing Miah who gets to have help moving on Xmas during a break up! Did not: visit mom & dad (yay! epic storm back east, (did not even try) did not get tickets, did not pass go, tG.) Did! Take amazing care of my beloved 4 legged Desi. Will post photos on IG. (@WitchyLooksGood) remind me you’re from here Some how- I don’t let “strangers” gawk, ((my story: nudists might not do well running youth non profits I imagine.) shhhh. 🤫) Love yous. Merry happy all the things. Esp. Solstice.! 🌘🕯🤍🙏🏼❤️❄️🎄🔥-J

Skyeanna Malito

I haven't gotten the fence put up in the front yard to keep my toddlers from escaping, I haven't gotten my house cleaned up, I haven't gone through my son's clothes and purged. I HAVE kept three kids alive and happy, along with eight cats, who are definitely alive, but one might not be happy. And I did make it through way too many weekends of selling at a Holiday Craft Market with the three kids in tow.

Ofel Epicorus

For what its worth, I think you've done amazingly, Amanda. It has been a fucking shitty year, and even if nothing else - you made it through. But you also made a gingerbread house! I haven't uploaded the clothes I have for sale, even though my partner kindly took photos of them in July, 2021. I haven't replaced my glasses (the frame is 8 years old and very worn out), even though I really tried. I haven't uploaded any photo from 2022 (apart from my nails), and there are still some photos from 2021 that need uploading. I haven't reorganised my stockings, even though a friend kindly gave me a special hanger for them months ago. I haven't figured out my plants, both indoor and outdoor. I haven't maintained relationships as well as I would have liked, to the point a friend asked me if she hurt me in some way and apologised. I haven't read The Body Keeps The Score, even though I know it is relevant to my aching body and a friend bought it for me months ago. I haven't read your posts as often as I would have liked. However, I have finally move into a flat that makes me feel like home, with people who are kind and respectful and a room that makes me happy. I have surprised my niece and her now-husband on their wedding day in France, with a speech in French, which they didn't know I was learning for two years. I have pushed and pushed and worked really hard until I found a better job that I will be starting in the new year. I have written personal and meaningful emails to some of the people I have worked with. I have been active in the community I have now a part of and joined a local TimeBank. I have made several ice creams and shared them with people. I have grown 20 tomato plants, that I will hopefully enjoy soon, even though the weather have been causing a lot of mould issues. I have set boundaries, had hard conversations, and made an effort to reshuffle my energy and spend more of it on people who make my heart feel fuller. I have done what I could, and I am happy with it. Bring on 2023, we've got this!

Craig Butler

i didn't always handle the stress well i didn't get that tiny model for my late brother in law built in time to hang it on the tree i didn't read the books i meant to get around to i didn't mend all the bridges that burned i didn't find a way to make us more comfortable i didn't get back to my art but i lost 65 pounds or so i did 120 pushups in a day i organized enough to reach the books i want to read i researched my ancestors and learned where i come from i got my motorcycle project mostly done i did my best to let everyone know i love them. i think things balanced out

Anne Stott

I haven’t sent out thank you postcards to my patrons. I haven’t sung in two days. I haven’t read the book I’m reading in three days. I haven’t called the people about the thing. I haven’t dealt with the fact that I think the electric company wrote my email in wrong and I haven’t seen a bill. I did have a solstice fire. I did get out of Provincetown ahead of the storm which was a whirlwind of productivity. I did have presents for everyone I saw on Christmas which includes two family groups. And I did make some calls about another thing. We do what we can do. Much love.

Dahlia Graham

Okay, I’m coming back here to tell you all that my voicemail box at work that said 37 almost all year now says 0. Delete. Beep. Woohoo! Done list getting longer.