Redline/critique request 2 (Patreon)

Another critique request, this time it's for Hele Minimanimo. Thank you very much, sweetie! (there was barely nothing to fix here xD you're a great artist already ♥)

What do you think so far, dears?
Am I being too hard or too soft? Am I using complex words in the explanations? Is this kind of template easy to understand?