Die Hard is totally a Christmas Movie-An Adam & Noah Micro-Fic (Patreon)

In two days, the Mulvaneys and Jericho's Boys (and maybe even some of the Watch boys) will be taking over my newsletter and Instagram to bring you 12 Days of Christmas Mulvaney style. Just like they took over Friday's newsletter, each couple will be sending out a special edition newsletter hosted by them, offering a gift and Mulvaney shenanigans. This discount will be offered on my Instagram account as well. Just for fun, I'll be doing little one-shot, 3000 word or less micro-fics about each couple that you'll get two days early, before making them free for my Patreon followers that aren't paid subscribers. Today, I'm giving you a little glimpse into Adam & Noah's winter at the loft. The newsletter and IG post will go up starting on the 10th.

As always, unbeta'd/unedited.

Noah

Noah started wrapping gifts a little after one-thirty. That was around four hours ago. Noah knew this because Adam wouldn’t stop telling him the time. 

“It’s already five-thirty,” he pouted. “What about dinner?” 

“What about it? Are you planning on cooking?” Noah teased, knowing full well letting Adam even boil water was dangerous. “Find a place that delivers and get us dinner if you’re so hungry. I want to get this done tonight.” 

Adam paced in front of Noah, but was unable to get closer. He sat at the coffee table with his back to the sofa, surrounded by brightly colored paper, tags, ribbons and bows. Wrapped presents sat on the left, with presents waiting to be wrapped on the right. He’d essentially created a fortress around himself, a moat made of Christmas cheer meant to repel his bah-humbug husband. But he was a grinch not so easily deterred. 

Noah had forgotten to protect his six. Adam attacked from the back, hurling his whole body over the back of the sofa, to collapse in a heap behind Noah. Dammit. He should have put the finished gifts there. 

“Why does it have to get done tonight?” Adam whined. 

“Because it didn’t get done last weekend, or the weekend before, or the weekend before that because someone wouldn’t stop complaining then either. I could have been done by now if I’d gotten to do a little at a time like I wanted.” 

Adam huffed. “I’m sorry I love you, I guess?” 

Noah rolled his eyes. “This is my favorite time of year and you’re sucking all of the joy out of it.” 

“If you stop wrapping presents I can suck something else for you?” 

“For the love of God, call your brothers…please? Go harass them.” 

Adam tsked. “They’re all doing holiday family stuff.” 

“As are we,” Noah said. “Well, me. You’re just making things harder for me and making me sad.” 

Noah waited for a retort but there was none. Huh. That’s suspicious. 

“I’m gonna take the dogs for a walk,” Adam said softly. 

Noah shivered as Adam’s lips pressed against the back of his neck. “Okay, baby.” 

Noah’s shoulders sagged as soon as Adam and the animals left, humming to himself as he continued to work. Adam had no idea how much time and energy went into buying gifts for their friends and family, much less wrapping them all and ensuring they were stored safely until it was time to open gifts at the big house on Christmas morning. 

Noah must have lost track of time because when the door lock beeped again, signifying Adam and the pups return, the house was drenched in shadow, the sky outside painted orange and pink with only a hint of blue. Noah watched Adam from the corner of his eye, but didn’t look at him directly. He could see several bags in his hand, but didn’t press him on what he’d gotten. 

As Noah continued to work, Adam turned on the two soft lights on either side of the sofa. The Christmas tree came next, its brightly colored lights reflected in the window’s reflection. Noah loved their tree with its gold and silver garland and ornaments Noah had carefully collected over their years together. 

Adam always teased him whenever he brought home a new one he found or an old one he saw in a vintage shop. Yet every year, without fail, Adam would bring home an ornament with their names and Dexter and Sadie’s names as well as the year. Noah would get teary-eyed and Adam would get embarrassed and say he just did it to get laid. 

As if he needed any help in that department. 

Noah sat there, making sure each crease in the paper was perfect, pretending not to notice as Adam pulled candles from his bag, placing them around the room and lighting them, filling the loft with the scent of snickerdoodles. With a press of a button, Noah’s Spotify old-school Christmas playlist began to play and a fake fire roared to life on their television screen. Noah bit his lip to keep from smiling. 

He listened as Dexter and Sadie munched away on their dinner, ignoring his own growling tummy. He only had a few more presents to go, then he could clean up and give his big baby all his atteniton. He felt the couch sag behind him once more, then solid thighs settled on either side of him. A large hand cupped beneath his chin, pulling his head back and connecting their lips in a kiss that lingered sweetly. 

“Hi,” Adam said as he pulled away.

“Hi, baby,” Noah said, giving him a smile. 

“I got us dinner. Harry’s on 6th. And they had those cookies you like at Lucky’s,” he said, sounding almost shy. 

“Yeah?” Noah asked, keeping his voice casual so as not to spook him. 

“Mm,” he said. “And, uh, Calliope said they’re doing Love Actually and Die Hard as a double feature at the fancy theater with the beds. It starts at nine.” 

“Love Actually and Die Hard?” Noah asked, giggling at the absurdity. “Fascinating.” 

“You wanna go?” Adam asked. 

Noah tipped his head up once more, locking eyes with his husband. “Tell the truth, you just want to go because you have a boner for Alan Rickman.” 

Adam scoffed. “A. Who doesn’t? And B. If you watch Die Hard right after Love Actually then Alan Rickman finally gets punished for fucking over Emma Thompson.” 

Noah’s heart did a little backflip as he gazed up at his gorgeous husband. Somehow no matter how old they got, Adam only seemed to get prettier. Meanwhile, Noah was contemplating botox. “That’s a good point,” he said when he realized he’d been staring at him for too long. 

Adam dipped his head and kissed Noah once more. This time with a lot more heat, making Noah whine. 

When Adam finally broke the kiss, he said, “They were almost sold out. I got the last bed…just in case. I can cancel if you don’t want to go, but I know you love those movies. You watch them every Christmas with the extended feelings faction and then make me sit through them all again when they pop up on the television.” 

“Well, they’re Christmas movies,” Noah said. “It’s Christmas time. When else are we supposed to watch them?” 

It had started about four months after Felix married Avi. They started having a Christmas pajama party at one of their apartments. In the beginning, it was just Noah, Zane, Felix and, sometimes, if they could coax him out, even Lucas. Eventually, they’d invited Arlo and Calliope, then Lola and Ever and Shiloh. 

When the spouses and Jericho’s other adult babies started attending, the party was moved to the mansion with its massive theater which worked out much better because there was a nursery there as well. It was a family event now and that family was ever expanding. Last year, even Mac’s brother, Jayne, had come with his husband Elijah and they’d brought their friends too. It was a free for all and Noah had loved every minute of the chaos. 

He’d never imagined having a family this big. 

Now they have the movies on rotation each year.  Sometimes it was Love Actually, The Family Stone and The Holiday. Sometimes it was Die Hard, Elf, Bad Santa and Home Alone. It was more about nostalgia and family time than any one type of Christmas movie. 

 They always planned it for two nights before the Mulvaney holiday trips which took place the first two weeks of December. Thomas and Aiden often went to Paris or Prague, Lucas and August took the kids to Switzerland, Atticus and Jericho usually rented a cabin in the mountains, Archer and Mac would go glamping in the desert, Adam and Noah had been anywhere and everywhere. Noah’s only condition was there had to be snow. It had to feel like Christmas. 

The only people who’d had to make any life changes were the twins and their husbands. Their previous Christmas holiday had always involved a ski trip to a fancy resort where they’d all stay together. In one suite. They’d always maintained it was perfectly normal and innocent. Of course, that didn’t stop Adam from referring to it as the Core Four Annual Christmas Ski Trip Orgy. 

This would be their first year taking the babies on their vacation. In previous years they’d come back with three photos of snowy landscapes and many, many suspicious bruises and bitemarks. This year, Noah anticipated a very different vibe. Babies were awesome but they were definitely not invited to an orgy. There would likely be a lot more skiing on this ski trip than any other previous ‘ski’ trips. 

Noah couldn’t wait for pics of the twins in their custom designed snow suits, and beanies, probably strapped to Avi and Asa’s chests as the two snowboarded through treacherous black diamond mountain passes, while Zane had a panic attack and Felix threatened them with grievous bodily harm if anything were to happen to their precious children. 

“Not everyone thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie,” Adam said in a sing-song voice,dragging Noah from his thoughts.

“Well, those people would be wrong. It takes place at Christmas time, during a Christmas party. He even says ‘ho-ho-ho’. It’s a Christmas movie.” 

Noah and Adam had this same silly debate every year and every year Noah played along because he knew bickering got Adam all worked up. It was his idea of foreplay. 

“He also says ‘yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker’, but that doesn’t make it a Western, does it?” Adam countered smugly. 

Noah stretched luxuriously, his back cracking in several places from being hunched over for so long. He looped his arms around Adam’s neck as he looked at his upside down face, then yanked him down hard until they were nose to nose. “If you make me mad, the only bed you’ll be sleeping in is the one at the movie theater,” Noah said sweetly. “Capiche?” 

“What do I get if I make you happy?” Adam countered, his voice dropping into that low register that stoked something deep in Noah’s core. 

“What do you want?” Noah asked, ghosting his lips over Adam’s jaw, holding their awkward position. 

“You in nothing but antlers and a reindeer tail?” Adam said, biting his bottom lip. “Maybe some red paint on your adorable button nose.” 

Noah snorted through a laugh. “You want to fuck me while I’m dressed as a reindeer?” 

“Is that somehow weirder than me bending you over in that elf costume two years ago?” Adam asked. 

“Weirdly, yes, but I can’t quite put my finger on why,” Noah admitted. “But fine. If you make me happy, then I’ll let you dress me up any way you want and I’ll even let you do anything you want…but you have to wear the sexy santa suit again.” 

Adam grinned. “I’m starting to think you have a fetish for old men with silver hair.” 

“I mean…” 

“If you say one thing about how hot my dad is I’m throwing away your surprise right now,” Adam warned, glowering at him. 

“I didn’t say anything,” Noah said, words dripping with mock innocence. He finally turned, getting up on his knees, letting Adam lift him until he straddled his hips. “So, where’s my present?” 

“Hang on tight,” Adam said. 

Noah had only a second to wrap his arms and legs around him before Adam was on his feet, stepping over boxes and bows. He walked to the kitchen counter, then deposited Noah onto the top, before walking to the junk drawer that Noah always forgot existed until he needed batteries or a paperclip. 

He watched curiously as Adam took something out, hiding it with his body. What the hell could he be getting out of the junk drawer that he thought was worth Noah wearing a reindeer tail butt plug? 

Adam returned with both hands behind his back, then handed Noah the contents of his left hand. A scrap of paper with five numbers on it. The numbers were familiar. It was the date Adam had killed Holt. The day their lives had intersected for the first time, even if neither of them knew it. “What is this?” 

“It's your lock code.” 

“Our door lock is only four numbers and it's generated by the building. Are you feeling okay?” 

“Its not the lock to the loft,” Adam said. When Noah frowned he handed him a flyer. Not just any flyer, but the flyer to the house they’d toured a few months ago that Noah had absolutely fallen in love with but that Adam had rejected outright the moment he’d learned there was a Homeowners Association. He’d claimed he’d end up killing the first geriatric power hungry neighbor who tried to measure the length of their lawn. 

Noah had been heartbroken, but agreed anyway. 

“What is this?” 

“It’s your Christmas gift,” Adam said. 

“A lock code and a flyer?” Noah asked, unwilling to get his hopes up until Adam stated explicitly what he was implying. 

“We close on January fifth.” 

“Close?” Noah parroted. “As in, we will have a house? With a yard? A real house? It’s really ours?” 

“I mean, we can still back out but considering I had to put down a seven figure down payment, its gonna be a real pain in the ass if you’ve changed your mind.” 

Noah launched himself into Adam’s arms, wrapping himself around him like a koala bear. “But you said you hated HOA’s.” 

“Who likes HOA’s? I just didn’t want to get your hopes up because I know how competitive the real estate market is here. There was a bidding war. It was bloody. I thought I might actually have to start picking off the competition. In the end, nobody could match my offer. So, congratulations, baby. We now own a house that we paid half a million dollars more for than it was worth. I hope you like it because we can never leave.” 

“I love it. I love it. I love it,” Noah chanted, squeezing Adam until he grunted in pain. When he finally pulled back he was crying. “I love you. You can dress me up as whatever you want for the whole year. I don’t care.” 

Adam blinked at him. “Shit. Is that my Christmas present?” 

“I also got you really expensive socks,” Noah sniffled. 

Adam chuckled. “I’ll take playing dress up with you over socks anyday.” 

Noah kissed him again and again and again until he grew dizzy with it. “This is the best gift ever.” 

“If you think this is the best gift ever, you’re gonna really love your other gift. But I’m saving that one for Christmas morning.” 

Noah buried his face in Adam’s neck, voice muffled as he said, “Deal.” 

“Do you still want to go to Bed?” Adam asked. “The one at the movies I mean?” 

Noah nodded. “Yeah. I hope its a bed in the back so nobody can see my thank you present for the house.” 

Adam grinned. “I hear butter makes great lube.” 

“Oh, God. Which of the boys got a butter flavored handjob?” Adam asked. “You know what? Nevermind. I don’t want to know. Let's go shower before the movies. I’ll let you do dirty things to me before you wash me.” 

Noah shrieked as Adam swept him off his feet bridal style, heading for the bathroom. “Fuck, yeah. I love Christmas.” 

Noah’s heart swelled so big his chest hurt. 

“Me, too,” he said. “I can’t believe we own a house. I’m going to buy so many dogs.” Adam groaned. Noah grinned. “Come on, you had to know that was coming.” 

“Oh, I did. I definitely did.” 

As they started undressing each other, Noah said, “I really do love you. Thank you for my house.” 

Adam side-eyed him as he switched the water on full-blast. “You can thank me by promising to adopt no more than two more pets.” 

Noah scrunched his face into a look of confusion. “What was that? I can’t hear you over the water. Its too loud.” 

“Noah!” Adam said, chasing after him and cornering him in the oversized shower, wrapping a hand around his throat. His voice a menacing growl as he said, “Promise me.” 

Noah leaned into the dangerous press of his palm. “I make no such promises.” 

“Don’t make me punish you.” 

Noah grinned. “Do your worst.” 

Adam dropped his mask, crowding up against him, hand tightening. “Just remember, baby, you asked for this.” 

How could Noah forget? 

Fuck, he loved his life.