Queen/King of Misgendering (Patreon)

I thought of this piece a while ago. I had just received a lengthy written apology for being misgendered, and it reminded me of all the times I've had to forgive and forgive and forgive people for misgendering me.

It's an experience that feels both validating, and alienating. I'm happy people can recognize their blunders, but it's awkward since there's not much to forgive. And in the midst of that groveling, is it really about me? or is it about you?

I misgender people too, and I've been misgendered by other Trans people. It's an easy mistake to make, just correct yourself and move on.

But then there are those days, weeks, months, when apologies never come. When you find yourself craving to be in Trans spaces if only to feel visible. I don't hold my breath when I'm being misgendered, but I do hold my tongue, and some days it takes everything in me not to storm out or start crying.

I feel ridiculous for making it sound like such a big deal. But I also feel mistreated when - having been corrected - people don't seem like they're trying at all.

I learned/used gender neutral pronouns. Why can't you?

What's an NB to do?

I didn't ask for the deck I was dealt. I'm just playing the cards I have.