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Hey everyone!

I've completed the next chapter, so I hope you enjoy it!

As usual, please let me know if you spot any mistakes. I greatly appreciate your feedback on correcting any typos that slip through the net. 

Best wishes,

Tefler

Comments

Brent

i'm way behind on the chapters but I hope they eventually can put a psychic dampener on the matriarchs. I think that'd do a lot more to incapacitate a progenitor than incapacitating the men themselves

Jeff P

Great job, thanks Tefler!

SomeYoungGuy

Well… there goes my productivity for the day!

Cignal

Thanks Tefler

Droidmek

Thank you very much for all your ingenuity and hard work Tefler!

Giseler

And i havent even finished the last chapter yet...

Paddy

Excellent timing, just finished 152, thanks

Paul Mansur

Third paragraph... “I’m a very lucky guy,” John agreed, give the blonde and brunette an affectionate squeeze. "Giving"? "As he gave"?

Jedi Khan

*blink* Another chapter already? And a completed one at that? Only 4 days after posting the last one? That's gotta be some kind of record for you, Tefler.

BrianM

Thanks Tefler. Very nice surprise to get 153 before tomorrow morning so I'm looking forward to some evening reading!

Doug Smith

typo: “I want to review the script for [out] meeting ..." -> [our]

Carcharias

Towards the end it was talking about delivering the Abandoned and you said “Leylira’s fleet”, not “Lilyana’s fleet”. Otherwise it was a very good chapter.

Mojarra

So, this puts Tef up to date - so I’ll bump my patronage back up to pre-debt levels before the end-of-the-month deadline.

Antoine Scrivener

Many thanks. Completed an initial scan. Plan a thorough read this evening NZT. Need to check for cuningly concealed puns.

Doug Smith

"then they can focus fire you." -> fire on you?

Bp Hlpt

Thanks, Tefler!

Michael56Smith

.24: hey,... I might have beaten Doug to the punch this time: on Word page 18, John and Sakura discussing what they had learned in the Dojo, .. he agreed giving her a congratulatory pack on her on the back. Okay, (first), pat on (2nd) the back, or on her back,... but not both. Someone was typing faster than their brain was thinking, ... ;-) TTFN

Evan

Thank you, Tefler!

Evan

it was consider good manners -> it was considered good manners

TF4EVA

thank you sooooo much and looking forward to the read.

Craig Robichaud

“It’s probably a good thing that Eradon is located on the far side of Genthalas. “ Genthalas is a shipyard. Shouldn’t it be Valadan?

2ndAndrocentric

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I want to get back to bitching about being charged for chapters not completed! As a Terran marine, I want my $1 bitching rights!

Kensyi

Gods damnit Tefler, I hate where you end the damn chapters, you always leave me wanting more, and usually right when it is just getting good. Oh how I hate you, you damn brilliant man.

Jedi Khan

Some nice, long overdue developments. We got an update on the Abandoned that were rescued by the Maliri, and Niskera was brought up to date on more recent events, plus Dana finally found out about the Star Forges. It'll probably be at least ten chapters before the team gets a chance to go visit those, but at least now the team knows about them. Hopefully Niskera gives Lynette a call and works out a plan for the Outer Rim. It could turn out to be quite beneficial for everyone if they can work out a "Specially Administrated" plan for the Outer Rim like I proposed on the last post. Give the Outer Rim colonies some measure of autonomy (mostly the illusion of being separate from the TFed), the Trankarans get those volcanic worlds to colonize, and the TFed gets a share of the resources from those worlds that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to collect. Lynette funnels money to the Trankarans to pay for what she already promised to the governors, and once the fleets are rebuilt, both empires patrol the region. Win-win. Looking forward to what Jehenna has planned, and hopefully the Maliri men won't be too obstinate. They're already cutting it way too close for evacuating those stations before GK arrives. Any kind of delay will just make it worse.

Heather Bowman-Tomlinson

3rd paragraph from the end, Tiaras is Possessive not pluralized. (you have Tiara’s)

Shree_Pratham

Hello, can anyone explain the significance of Trankaran Star Forges ? I do recall that the original progenitor forge killed thralls and bad vibes, but not sure , how the discovery of star forge changes things.

Jedi Khan

Dana seems to be hyper fixated on something being wrong/broken with the wormhole generator, and not even considering the possibility that going through a rip in space/time is a naturally nauseating experience. Of course, it's not like she completely understands the science behind it at the moment. Maybe she should put that aside from the time being and come back to it later? Perhaps once she has some time to do some actual research without the pressure of an imminent invasion, she'll figure out a way to negate the nausea. It probably just needs an add-on module of some sort that Progenitors never bother with.

Michael56Smith

.45: ... and a big fat juicy HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Calara! another 19-year-old on the crew, ... YAY! ;-) (-; ;-) TTFN

Kim Biel-Nielsen

“ John tugged the Lion helm off his head” should probably be “helmet”

Paul Mansur

Not sure if this has been pointed out yet... "She took a deep breath and let it our slowly, then the pulsing orange lines regained their previous vigour." Let it out slowly...

Bp Hlpt

Thanks for Ch 153 (and 154!!), Tefler. In the meantime, very clean chapter, but... ------------ Ch 153 Typos These are all the ones I know of, some found by others. Typical Whitespace errors: A couple of extraneous spaces between paragraphs, and over 150 extraneous spaces at the end of paragraphs. “Please don’t feel under any -- Delete extraneous space before ‘ “Please ’ “Please don’t feel under any “She’s nice and relaxed for you -- Delete extraneous space before ‘ “She’s ’ “She’s nice and relaxed for you but one to many knocks -- but > but maybe && to > too but maybe one too many knocks Check your sums add up. -- Check > Check that Check that your sums add up. several white haired engineers -- white haired > white-haired several white-haired engineers rapport with the Young matriarchs; -- matriarchs > Matriarchs rapport with the Young Matriarchs; They arrived at the training facility that Edraele had constructed for him, and after passing through the reception area with a wave at the giddy receptionist, then entered the armoury. -- move comma and delete ‘then’ They arrived at the training facility that Edraele had constructed for him and, after passing through the reception area with a wave at the giddy receptionist, entered the armoury. would be highly unadvisable. -- unadvisable > inadvisable would be highly inadvisable. He span to his right to go around -- span > spun - I understand that span might be considered an acceptable alternative in the UK, but in the US, it is considered an archaic usage. But whatever you would normally use is fine. He spun to his right to go around John tugged the Lion helm off his head, -- helm > helmet John tugged the Lion helmet off his head, when they shared that connection. -- that > their when they shared their connection. in the throes of that passion -- that > the connection enhanced in the throes of the connection enhanced passion so I give her a fully tummy every time -- fully > full so I give her a full tummy every time as the Raptor briefly looped out of sight, then reappeared again. -- ???? Out of sight from whom? Aren't Alyssa, Betrixa, Calara, and Marika all on the Raptor together? So even if the Raptor goes around an asteroid, they are all inside the Raptor, so neither the asteroid nor the Raptor are hidden from the sight of any of them, right??? And the asteroids are still stationary relative to the moving Raptor. ---- Wait... Did you mean that Marika was firing at one asteroid, while Betrixa flew around a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th asteroid? That would make it trickier, but still the Raptor doesn't loop "out of sight" of anyone. There's got to be a better way to describe that. Maybe something like... Marika narrowed her brown feline eyes, and focused intently on her aim. A solid stream of blue bolts rained down on the asteroid Calara had targeted. After the initial loop, Alyssa tapped Betrixa on the shoulder, then pointed at anothert asteroid to dive around, then another, and another. No matter how wildly the Raptor gyrated under Betrixa's control, Marika kept the hail coming in waves as the target was briefly out of sight as the Raptor looped, then reappeared again. It was an impressive display of marksmanship, especially without any kind of communication between the pilot and gunner. a congratulatory pack on the back. -- pack > pat a congratulatory pat on the back. pulling his perspiration soaked t-shirt over -- perspiration soaked t-shirt > perspiration-soaked T-shirt pulling his perspiration-soaked T-shirt over “That’s okay to be curious,” -- That’s > It’s “It’s okay to be curious,” was to much for her to handle. -- to > too was too much for her to handle. It was different to what I expected, -- to> from - I know either is OK in the UK, but I really prefer ‘from’ here. I like different from and compared to, but that's just me. :) It was different from what I expected, as well as intriguing offer -- as > as an as well as an intriguing offer She took a deep breath and let it our slowly, -- our > out She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, We’ll have to find a way celebrate -- celebrate > to celebrate We’ll have to find a way to celebrate reaching into a shelf -- into > onto --or-- shelf > drawer reaching onto a shelf --or-- reaching into a drawer held it up the tiny speedos -- it up > up held up the tiny speedos ready for a lu’au, -- lu’au > lūʻau - also anglicized as "luau" ready for a lūʻau, by the opposite door to usual, -- I know, I know, a UK phrase, but it just sounds awkward by the door opposite to the one they usually did, “That’s incredible generous, -- incredible > incredibly “That’s incredibly generous, watch over Edraele and the Nymph. -- Nymph > Nymphs watch over Edraele and the Nymphs. Now all the Maliri aboard the shipyard -- Now all the > Now, all the other && aboard > at Now, all the other Maliri at the shipyard especially amongst the security personnel, -- amongst > among especially among the security personnel, then place a tender kiss -- place > placed then place a tender kiss increased in leaps and bounds. -- in > by increased by leaps and bounds. women they ran into, were so busy gazing -- into, > into women they ran into were so busy gazing Lilyana’s fleet have arrived -- have > has Lilyana’s fleet has arrived quickly pulled off his t-shirt. -- t-shirt > T-shirt quickly pulled off his T-shirt. good thing that Elaren is located on the far side of Genthalas. -- Genthalas > Valadan ??? - I don't think it's Valaden, but I don't think I saw the planet's name mentioned. good thing that Elaren is located on the far side of ???. Okay that explains how you did it, but not why? -- Okay > Okay, && why? > why. Okay, that explains how you did it, but not why. It would’ve be awful for her to see scowling, -- be > been It would’ve been awful for her to see scowling, her high-heels clicking -- high-heels > high heels her high heels clicking both wore sparkling tiara’s in their flowing white hair, -- tiara’s > tiaras both wore sparkling tiaras in their flowing white hair,

Paul Mansur

Talking about john rebuilding the damocles... “That’s incredible generous, thank you so much!” Should be "incredibly"

Shep

Is it wrong that I now want a progenitor to get to Genthalas while John is elsewhere just so that Adraele and Luna can tear him apart?

Grandizer

Came to post my caught errors and misspellings and saw that Bp Hlpt found them and about 5 times more than I did. Now on to 154.

Ezorro

Thank you Tefler!

Teun Segers

So a bunch of Wards are recruited, but they no longer sleep for 14h? Or did I get the timeline wrong?

John Gregory

What happened to the Brimorians when the Maliri swooped in and rescued the Abandoned? Did I miss a bit somewhere?

Michael56Smith

.68 oh yeah, and I want to read the scene were Athgiloi is briefed (maybe from recovered ship recordings and a survivor's testimony--escape pod?), ... the Deep Lord will either pop his cork or cower in the corner, whimpering. Especially if he has also had a briefing from a survivor of the border fleet that the Kintark demolished before/at the same time. Poor big ole fish face, and you just know his nymph cutie will find John soon, ... Tef has so many irons in the fire, I don't mind if he leaves off a Tom Walker update or two to make more room, I won't miss him. ;-) TTFN

TF4EVA

I agree, lets leave Tom out and prioritise our main story for now.... as interesting and appetising as fish fries and Tom might be!

HillCountryCowboy

I think it’s more likely that Tom is Dana’s sibling from the genetic experiments at Tartarus.

Michael56Smith

.79: So, for now, I say less Walker, more loping Gahl's head off, ... ;-) TTFN

Str8NotNarrow

It seemed to me that Tom's father knows his backstory, based on his very insistent declaration that it would be impossible for Tom to undermine the Terran Federation. I assumed that with his admiralty status, that was plausible. Further, that he therefore knows at least the basics of Dana's story. So I'm assuming that someday when Tom's story is told, we will get Dana's history as well. No doubt another high level abuse. Will John search for all of the progeny?

Michael56Smith

.82: Yeah, the Tom Walker side story will eventually expose the earlier black ops research that High Command was behind in its past. And also, it should reveal the Brimorian involvement (along with the devastating evidence provided by rogue Maliri hackers) in the set up and down fall of Commander Tom Walker, as well as their destruction of Morgan's fleet. I think Charles should ask his buddy John, and Irilith, to see if she can improve the T-Fed's software / computer technology, to nearer to Maliri and harder to hack. (I still want to read about Walker's jailbreak though) ;-) TTFN

vontzki

Happy Nymph noises... so basically meowing and purring? ^^

Michael56Smith

.85: I would be interested to know when, or if, the new Raptor 2.0 blueprints will make it into the reference documents listing? or is the format incompatible at this time? ;-) TTFN

Matt

We all know John can grow to massive size, which seems to indicate mass isn't an issue. Given that... could John replicate himself? Maybe this new infusion of Maliri into the network will provide the required energy and 'unlock' the knowledge in his mind. If so, how many Johns should he create? One for each Special Lady? One for the ship, another for Genthalas, another for the Glowing Queen, another for the Terran Federation and another for his new Green girls? Suddenly so many more full tummies! Also, a hit squad of Johns going after individual Progenitors and claiming their Thralls? I hadn't seen a realistic way for him to win before, but being able to duplicate himself and all of a sudden it's not as unlikely a proposition. There would undoubtably be complications. Would each John need his own network and matriach or would they be mentally connected and all able to make use of the same resources? Who gets to go by 'John', who gets to go by 'Baen'Thalas' and what names for the others? Lion theme? 'Lion', 'Leo', 'Murderkitty McKillwhiskers'? These are all weighty questions. 'But Matt!' I hear you cry, 'If that could be done, surely the other Progenitors would have done it?!' Ah! But would they? They know what a power hungry, combative, sociopathic, space-cunt they are, do you think they'd trust another them to not try and take power, to be the one 'in charge'? 'Pah' I say, and 'phooey' I add. That's why it would work for John, where it wouldn't work for them, he can trust himself.

Cassandra Wren

Wait.... the England Female Soccer team members, are called LIONESSES! 😲🤔

Michael56Smith

.90: So, John and the girls stomp on Gahl'kalgor, spare him his well-deserved lopping off of his head (no need to give Xar'azuith any 'Shroud' knowledge through Gahl's death), but do take his Empire and Matriarch, ... then have themselves a lovely Brimorian Fish-Fry, While Dana checks out the Trankaran Star Forges, ... and then a quick trip to Tau Ceti to visit Jack and Maria Fernandez, and talk over the various features Jack would like to see in his new and improved TFN Damocles, (or is that too soon?). And possibly a trip to Olympus for Dana to share with Henry Voss and Admiral Harris, another handful of minor improvements that are very handy for a spacecraft to have, like improved power couplings, ... also Irillith could try and drag the T-Fed a bit closer to Maliri level of software / computer knowledge making the T-Fed's harder to hack... ;-) TTFN

Michael56Smith

.91: And should Irillith (possibly at Admiral Charles Harris's request) try to drag the T-Fed computer and software industry a lot closer to the Maliri standard. Might they accidentally discover the hacking done to plant the false data that convicted Tom Walker while they were running some tests, and Irilith confirms that Maliri hackers did the dirty deed, for the Brimorian's and for (not really dead) Mason Newmont, ... and voila, the Lion is involved. That Charles, quite the troublemaker, -- that should teach him about listening to those smarty-pants Lionesses, ... ;-) TTFN

Michael56Smith

.093: I think that it is about F5 key time, for TSM #154 (completed),... just sayin' ;-) TTFN

Michael56Smith

.094: Oh, we're Tefler-man-iacs,... you'll press F5 'til you collapse, ... (you know the rest) -- ...baloney in our slacks, .... Tefler-man-iacs,... and those are the facts! ;-) TTFN (Pressing F5)