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Chapter 1 (Patreon)

Published:
2018-02-23 16:47:53
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Behold, chapter 1 of the unified and revised book! Read and judge harshly.

Files

Previews only

PonyfinderUnifiedCh1.pdf

Comments

Anonymous

In the Ghost Pony description, the title should be singular rather than plural, to match the other entries. In Ghost Pony Pathfinder Attributes, under Base Speed, the end of the sentence is awkwardly phrased. I would suggest, "Base Speed: (Normal Speed) A ghost pony's base speed is reduced to 30 feet." Also, "(Normal Speed)" needs to be bolded to match the Ponykind Attributes block. Under Ghost Strike, you should change "considered magic for purpose" to "considered magic for the purpose". In Leather Wing Pathfinder Attributes, under Ability Scores, the "Wing" in "Leather Wing" shouldn't be capitalized. "(Normal Speed)" should be bolded to match the Ponykind Attributes block. I would suggest changing the description to "A leather wing's base speed is reduced to 30 feet." In Sea Horse Pathfinder Attributes, under Base Speed, "(Normal Speed)" should be bolded to match the Ponykind Attributes block. I would suggest changing the description to "A sea horse's base speed is reduced to 30 feet." Under Native of the Deep, change "Sea horses gain 120' Darkvision, but only functions while underwater and looking at underwater things." to "Sea horses gain darkvision 120 feet, but it only functions while underwater and looking at underwater things." In the Zebra description, second paragraph, third line, the "DC 20 Intelligence(arcana)" is missing a space. It should be "DC 20 Intelligence (arcana)". In the Antean description, the title should be singular rather than plural, to match the other entries. In the first paragraph, third line, I would suggest changing "impossible to hide, as they are large, towering over their fellow ponies ranging from 7 to 9 feet in length." to "impossible to hide, as they are large, ranging from 7 to 9 feet in length, towering over their fellow ponies." In the attributes block, "(Normal Speed)" needs to be bolded to match the Ponykind Attributes block and I would suggest changing the description to "An antean's base speed is reduced to 30 feet." In Chaos Hunter Pathfinder Attributes, under Chaos Fighter, change "and a +2 racial bonus to CMB on grapple combat maneuver checks made against chaotic outsiders." to "and a +2 racial bonus on combat maneuver checks made to grapple chaotic outsiders." In Clockwork Pathfinder Attributes, under Base Speed, "(Normal Speed)" should be bolded to match the Ponykind Attributes block. I would suggest changing the description to "A clockwork's base speed is reduced to 30 feet." Under Cursed Blessing, there's a missing space in "mind-affect effects,poison," In Doppelganger Pathfinder Attributes, under shapeshifter, doppelgangers should gain the "shapechanger" subtype, not "shapeshifter". Under Change Shape, Lesser, the description is in second person. It should change to "Doppelgangers have a specific pony shape that they can take at will. They gain a +10 racial bonus on Disguise checks made to appear as that pony. Changing shape is a standard action. This ability otherwise functions as alter self, except that the doppelganger does not adjust their ability scores and can remain in this form indefinitely." I would also suggest changing the name of this to just "Change Shape" to match other races with abilities similar to this. In Gem Pony Pathfinder Attributes, under Crystalline Form, "against rays" should be "against ray attacks". In the Step-by-Step Ponies section, the 5E section comes first and the Pathfinder section comes second, which is opposite from the rest of the book. I just found this odd. Also, in Building Cluttermane, Step 3 of the pathfinder section, there's a double comma and an extraneous comma and capitalization. It is "Knowledge (History), and Knowledge (Nobility), , representing" but it should be "Knowledge (history) and Knowledge (nobility), representing". There's also probably a short way to represent this; most of the text is the exact same except for the example steps 2 and 3. In the Pathfinder version of Pony Feats: All Prerequisite lines are also sentences. They should end with a period (full stop). Also the bolded "Prerequisite" should be plural if there is more than one prerequisite. Adept Changeling, in the Benefit description, last line; this should be changed to "This works otherwise like your usual Change Shape ability." Advanced Horn Magic shouldn't have the metamagic type. If it is a metamagic feat so that wizards may choose it as a bonus feat, instead make a Special line noting that wizards (and other classes as appropriate) may take this as one of their bonus feats. Agent of Law, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" does not need to be capitalized. The Benefit line should read, "Your racial bonuses and racial abilities (including racial feats) against outsiders now also apply to aberrations." Beacon of Hope, the range in the Benefit line should be "feet", not "ft". Beneath Hooves, in the Prerequisite line, BAB shouldn't be abbreviated. It should be "base attack bonus +5." Blade-turning Pelt, in the Prerequisite line, Improved Fortitude should probably be Great Fortitude. I don't know of any ability or feat called Improved Fortitude. Also the dash after the slash in the DR should be an em-dash. Chaos Sense, the Benefit line should be, "You may use detect chaos at will as a supernatural ability with a caster level equal to your character level." Cloud Kicker, in the Benefit, "square within natural reach(normally 5ft, can target" should have a space by the parenthesis and a period after ft. "square within natural reach (normally 5ft., can target". Also "must roll 1d20+(character level)+(strength bonus) against a target of 10+(caster level)." should read, "must roll 1d20 + your character level + your Strength modifier against a target of 10 + the spell's caster level." Dashing flyer, in the Prerequisite, fly speed doesn't need to be capitalized. In the Benefit, "10ft." should be "10 feet". Day and Night is out of place in the list of feats. It should be after Dashing Flyer and before Day Stomper. Also it should add, "A day and night spell uses up a spell slot 1 level higher than the spell's actual level." to the end of the Benefit line. Day Stomper, in the description, I think it got mangled somewhere. "Your marked piety as an earth-bound has earned you the Sun Queen grants you special favor." should probably be "Your marked piety as an earth-bound has earned you the Sun Queen's special favor." The Benefit line should read, "Once per day, while in sunlight, you may, as an immediate action, gain temporary hit points equal to 1d10 + 1 per two character levels. These last for one hour. You also gain resist fire 5." Add a Special line with "You may not take this feat if you have Night Stomper" and add "(see Special) to the Prerequisite line. Day Wing, in the Benefit, "Fire Resist 5" should be "resist fire 5". The last sentence should be moved to a Special line and add "(see Special) to the Prerequisite line. Denouncer of Gods, in the Benefit line, there should be a space before the first open parenthesis. Distance Runner, the Benefit line should be, "You gain a +4 racial bonus to saves against nonlethal damage due to forced marching. You also gain a +2 racial bonus to saves that result in the fatigued or exhausted conditions. Once per day, as a standard action, you may remove the fatigued condition from yourself. You gain DR 5/- against nonlethal damage." Also the dash after the slash in the DR should be an em-dash. Divine Endurance, in the Benefit line, both instances of "Gain +1 to saves" should be "Gain a +1 bonus to saves". Echoing, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" doesn't need to be capitalized. In the Benefit line, last sentence, change "it allows" to "this allows". Embraced Destiny, the Benefit line should read, "You may select one favored enemy (as per ranger), two skills, or one school of magic. You gain a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls, +2 bonus to caster level checks, or +2 bonus to skill checks involving the selected item(s). The selection should relate to your brand of destiny. If skills are selected, the bonus increases by 1 per five character levels." The Special line should read, "If you selected the skill bonus, you are considered as having Skill Focus in the skills selected for the purpose of prerequisites." Field Reconstruction, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" does not need to be capitalized. Fight On, the Benefit should either read, "As per the feat of the same name. See the Advanced Player's Guide." or include the full text of the original feat with a new paragraph addendum, "See the Advanced Player's Guide." Also, the original was not a combat feat. Focused Horn Magic shouldn't have the metamagic type. If it is a metamagic feat so that wizards may choose it as a bonus feat, instead make a Special line noting that wizards (and other classes as appropriate) may take this as one of their bonus feats. In the Benefit line, "Extend Metamagic" should be capitalized and should remove "the" from in front of it. Gemstone Finish, in the Benefit line, "character level 10" should be "character level 10th". Giant Companion, in the Benefit line, "gaining 2 strength, losing 2 dexterity," should be "increasing its Strength by 2, decreasing its Dexterity by 2,". Giant Dreams, in the Prerequisite line, BAB shouldn't be abbreviated. "BaB 8+" should be "base attack bonus +8". In the Benefit, the last sentence should be "This does not stack with the Powerful Shape feat." Gunnery Squad, in the Special line, it needs a space before the open parenthesis. Integrated Weapon, in the Benefit line, the first sentence should be "Choose one firearm. This firearm is now a part of the pony and cannot be disarmed (though it can still be sundered)." Kara Kissed, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" does not need to be capitalized. In the Benefit line, "shapeshifter subtype" should be "shapechanger subtype" and "stat adjustments" should be "ability score adjustments". Large Fate, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" does not need to be capitalized. In the Benefit line, the second "caster level" should be "character level". Lustrous Coat, in the Benefit line, "AC vs ray attacks" should be "AC against ray attacks". In the Special line, "level 10" should be "10th level". Master Changeling, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" does not need to be capitalized. In the Benefit line, "usual shapeshifting ability" should be "usual Change Shape ability" and there should be a space before the open parenthesis. In the last sentence, there should be a comma after "your hands". Master Horn Magic, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" does not need to be capitalized. Natural Lance, in the description, the last "in a charge" is redundant. In the Prerequisite line, "BaB 10+" should not be abbreviated, it should be "base attack bonus +10" and "Movement rate 40'+" should either be "movement speed 40 feet" or "walk speed 40 feet". In the Benefit line, "as per a lance" should be "as a lance". Night Stomper, the Benefit line should read, "You gain darkvision 30 feet and gain a +1 bonus to caster level checks while underground or during the night." The Special line should be, "If you already have darkvision, instead increase your darkvision range by 30 feet. You lose the light sensitivity racial trait. You may not take this feat if you have Day Stomper." and add "(see Special)" to the Prerequisite line. Night Wing, in the Prerequisite line, "leather wing" shouldn't be capitalized and add "(see Special)". The Benefit should read, "You gain darkvision 60 feet." and the Special should read, "If you already possessed darkvision before taking this feat, increase its range by 30 feet instead. You may not take this feat if you have Day Wing." Pious Brand, in the Benefit line, there should be a space before the open parenthesis. Power Buck, in the Benefit line, "Strength" should be capitalized. Practiced Horn Magic is bolded rather than in title text and the description isn't italicized. In the Prerequisite line, "Able" and "Unseen Servant" shouldn't be capitalized. Precise Motions, in the description, "extremely" should be "extreme". The Benefit line should be "You gain a +2 bonus to Disable Device checks. If you have 10 or more ranks in Disable Device, this bonus increases to +4. You may take 10 on Disable Device, even when distracted." The Special line should be "This counts as Skill Focus (Disable Device) for the purpose of prerequisites." Rapid Changeling, in the Prerequisite line, "doppelganger" and "character level" don't need to be capitalized. The Benefit line should be, "When you change forms, you do so as a move action instead of a standard action." Return to the Sea, in the Prerequisite line, "horse" doesn't need to be capitalized. The Benefit should be, "You gain the amphibious ability, granting you the aquatic subtype and allowing you to breathe underwater. You also gain resist cold 10." Sensitive Ears, in the Benefit line, "60ft." should be "60 feet". Shrouded Destiny, in the Benefit line, "SR of 5 + character level" should be "an SR of 5 + your character level" and in the last sentence, "even cast by you" should be "even those cast by you". Size Theft, in the Prerequisite line, "at" doesn't need to be capitalized. In the Benefit line, "attribute change" should be "ability score adjustment", "for many rounds" should be "for as many rounds" and add "A size theft spell uses up a spell slot 2 levels higher than the spell's actual level." to the end. Smooth Rise, in the Prerequisite line, "horse" shouldn't be capitalized. In the Benefit line, second sentence, "the action is swift" should be "this is a swift action". Sound Sight, in the Benefit line, "90 ft." should be "90 feet" and "60ft." should be "60 feet". Still Horn Magic shouldn't have the metamagic type. If it is a metamagic feat so that wizards may choose it as a bonus feat, instead make a Special line noting that wizards (and other classes as appropriate) may take this as one of their bonus feats. In the Benefit line, "Focused Horn" should be capitalized, since it's referring to a feat name. Storm Stallion, in the description, the first sentence should be, "Despite its name, this is not restricted to males." In the Prerequisite line, "fly speed" and "caster level" shouldn't be capitalized. Strike from the Heart, in the Prerequisite line, "hunter" and "character level" shouldn't be capitalized. The Benefit line should be, "Once per day as a move action, you may gain the effect of true strike as a supernatural ability. If your next attack's target is neither chaotic nor an aberration, you do not gain the bonus to hit and the effect is wasted. You are aware when this occurs. Strong Jaw, in the Prerequisite line, "quality" should be "trait". Strong Wings, in the Prerequisite line, "fly speed" and "character level" shouldn't be capitalized. Stubborn Pride, in the Prerequisite line, "character level" shouldn't be capitalized. In the Benefit line, "Will" as a Will save should be capitalized, but "mind-affecting" should not be capitalized. Tough as Rocks, in the Special line, "level 10, 15, and 20" should be "10th, 15th, and 20th levels". Unfettered Thought, in the description, "lost in thought become" should be "lost in thought becomes". In the Prerequisite line, "caster level" shouldn't be capitalized. The Benefit line should be, "When casting a spell, you may increase its casting time by one step (swift action to move action, move action to standard action, standard action to full-round action, or increase the casting time by 25%, with a minimum of one extra round) to increase its caster level by 1." Vital Guard, in the Benefit line, "lesser fortification" should be "light fortification". Water Affinity, in the Benefit line, "add one" should be "add 1". Water Burst, the description should be in italics. The Benefit line should read, "Twice per day, you may cast hydraulic push as a spell-like ability. At character level 9th, you can use control water once per day. At character level 15th, you can use cone of cold once per day and you may use hydraulic push at-will. All of these spell-like abilities use your character level as a caster level and constitution as a casting ability." In the 5E version of Pony Feats: Born of Fire and Ice, in the last sentence of the description, "deserts" should be "desert's". Someone else will have to go over the 5E feats. I don't know enough about 5E to know if the wording is correct on them.

Anonymous

As a comment on the restriction in Iron Hooves, I always presumed that the hoof attacks were taken with the rear limbs, and claw attacks were taken with the forelimbs. In this fashion, according to the rules on natural attacks, there's now reason other than to limit early attacks that claw and hoof attacks shouldn't be able to be used together. I also don't agree with the restriction on "effective number of hands" with Practiced and Advanced Horn Magic, since you're already using a feat or two for this, although I agree that items shouldn't be wielded with both physical and magic limbs. You're still restricted on the number of attacks per turn that you may take with the wielded weapons, regardless of the number of limbs, and neither feat actually grants natural attacks; also, multi-weapon fighting has inherent penalties already.

ponyfinder
>>10351536

That start to fade once you allow that many attacks. Ultimately, it is a balance thing.