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Look Homeward, Ch. 4 P. 16 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-02-08 00:30:01
Edited:
2025-02-09 15:23:08
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Page 15

the only reason i put a1 in a sweater in this flashback was so he can use the sleeves of it to wipe away a2's snot in this scene. theres a metaphor in there somewhere i think

Page 17

Files

Comments

charlie

oh i am unwell

Nestor

NOOOOOOO THE BABIES

Nestor

I'm literally crying omg wtf

Em

No words just sad

Alley

THROWING STICKS AND ROCKS AT YOU????

vatican

i cried myself to sleep last night thinking about this page lmao 😭😭🙂

vatican

victim of my own devices

charlie

i’m snottier than mikey right now actually

mizumonomartin

I will never ever ever ever recover from this

Newt

NOOOO BABY BOY 😭😭😭😭😭

Sabrina

How dare you. You didn’t have to draw it this sad

Sidneyfrogsby

Every time you post a page I take 1 d20 of psychic damage

Bleak

i can’t do this anymore

Em

Is this it for this month??? Is this the image you’re leaving us on? IN LOVE MONTH, VATICAN?

charlie

oh god now i’m thinking about grown up a2 wanting to return to a time when a1 could envelop him like this

Em

YEAH!!!!!!!!! He’s small and protected and a1 is so tender.

Bleak

there is only despair here

Sabrina

The second frame is making me struggle to breathe

charlie

god okay a2 being so fucking overwrought by the mere mention of them being separated but also by the fact that his own “shortcomings” are what will prevent a1 from getting a family???

Em

Oh shit for real?? That’s exciting. For a given definition of exciting.

vatican

I TOO AM TAKING DAMAGE this is very much a double edged sword

charlie

what the fuck it gets worse

vatican

chapter 4 was supposed to be the crucible. to weed out some readers. but im the weak one lmao 😭😭😭

vatican

i did its in the contract

vatican

😭😭😭😭 let me outtttt

vatican

i want him to be nice to me and put me first and hold me and

vatican

and i miss when he smelled like cigarettes

vatican

this isnt happy for u guys? this was my last gift to you guys before the rest of volume 1 goes to shit

Em

I found some words lol. GOD im so curious about his level of interiority. Like does he understand that a1 wants to be free, so it creates/compounds his guilt over a1 not having a family cause of a2? Does he understand that a1 saying it’s both of them or neither is a sacrifice whether the family takes them or not? Is that why the breakdown is so intense, or is it solely down to Mikey’s own fear of losing a1 and issues with being abandoned or rejected?? I’m clawing and gnashing and wailing.

vatican

hes trying so hard to keep it together 😭😭😭😭

vatican

he really was trying to keep it together... this really is just the combination of relief and despair and anger at himself and the world

charlie

i have a small corner of my mind palace where they are soft and cozy in crumb bed forever but the rest of me is reveling in your torment

Em

God *I* need a cigarette.

vatican

i think at this point, a2's self esteem is.. i dont know. because he's just constantly being volleyed by people saying he's weak and stupid and more trouble than he's worth, but at this point a1 also... still fully believed that he's baby jesus himself, and that he had a chance at being normal and happy and successful if a1 just worked a little harder to keep him on the right path. so like. he doesnt have doubts about him and a1 yet, at this point it was still just them agaisnt the world

mizumonomartin

I need a cigarette too AND I DON'T EVEN SMOKE !! 😩

charlie

ME EITHER MARTIN

Rav

The way you drew their hands in this is sending me!

Rav

It’s happy for ME

gemini

holy shit, just stab me repeatedly, it’ll hurt less 😭

Alec

shaking crying chewing a hole in my lip THIS IS FINE

Alec

squinting my useless eyes at what he crossed out in the notebook something i leave??? OKAY?????

Jess

day 7 of comic time: accidently called my coworker a1. i would sacrifice myself to never see a2 tears again. cant wait to look at this nightmare in depth when i get home 😢

L

GOD this is good Vati, I feel like I’m there

Ciggie

I HATE YOU!! 😭😭😭😭😭

L

He’s just a little baby raw nerve :(((((((

Ciggie

I was not ready and am crying on my way home from work!! 💧👄💧 Thank you for the best hurts. MAN THIS SUUUUCKS 😭😭😭

🅱

Did A2 already have feelings for A1 at this point, or did they develop later? On the verge of tears rn 🙂

L

Okay actually I need to do a thousand yard stare at the ceiling for six hours brb

Jess

We need cult holidays no one (me) should be crying at work

vatican

ciggie wiggie i told you. i told you and you said QUOTE “Right when I get off work?? You treat me too well 😌❤️”

royautical

What does frame one SAY

vatican

yes.. kinda..bc at this point he does have semi romantic feelings towards a1, but like. he cant differentiate it from all the other love he has for a1? like a1 has always been and will always be the only person a2 feels any sort of… anything for. so he doesnt really have. like. any sort of frame of reference for how the crush he has on him is any different from the soul crushing love and devotion he already has for him

vatican

dbhfjfj GETS ME EVERYTIME

vatican

can you feel it!!! the levee breaking?

vatican

alec this is to hurt you specifically :3

🅱

I am crying 👍

vatican

i love their normal and healthy relationship ❤️

Ciggie

It was a treat just for you, cause I KNOW this had to suck to drawwww!! ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ Your sacrifices are great~ 🙏❤️

Ciggie

AND I MEANT IT BUT WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠) LOOK AT HIM!! His angry lil tears, A1 doing his bestest to ground him and wipe away his upset and soothe with words?!? Stab me over and over and over, this is grrrreat!!! (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

vatican

a2 lashing out and immediately feeling ashamed for lashing out and curling into himself 🥰🥰🥰🥰

gemini

we’re ALL suffering from constant emotional knife wounds here

gemini

so in the third frame a2 is hitting a1? (that’s what I was thinking was happening, but would love to know for sure)

vatican

hes shoving the notebook at him ahahaha

Nico Bear

The physicality of a2's emotions is so clear. Writing pressure, hand shaking, lead snapping, limbs beating. So much feeling flying in his head

Alec

i knew this because my toxic trait is that i am convinced that i am the most important person in every single person throughout all of history’s life so obviously 🥰

moonmoon

i'm so stressed rn this torment must end eventhally right? .... RIGHT???

vatican

not a toxic trait if u are right!!

vatican

hes such a little vessel for such big feelings 😭😭😭

vatican

it has only just begun :(

anthroxagorus

I just.... I just really love the way you drew those bottom panels, how they almost seem to blur and mesh together. Part of me knows that they do get to see each other again, someday, it's not the end, but damn though. Life sucks.

vatican

life does suck, but there is also love and joy and crumb beds

🌟Sloth🦥

I never thought I'd get this emotional seeing a little blond dude cry but here we are, crying over the emotions in this page aswell as the snotty sweater

oliver

“they don’t want me”? 😄🔫

omargi

Ohhhhhhh right right 🫡⚰️

omargi

they don’t want me is crazy you’re fired

Helios

oh i love him. let him kill people he deserves it

vatican

look homeward is one giant blond pr campaign

Alec

can confirm that it does in fact hurt less than this 🥲

charlie

how often must a1’s hand find its way to cradle the back of a2’s head

charlie

i think a part of him must die the first time he goes to do it and has to reach up

L

GODDDDDDD AHHHHHHHHHHHH now im crying

Hope

Okay ow

Hope

No aftercare???

vatican

i’ll do something nice for u guys for valentines i prommy

bea.n

yeah who wants to live on a stupid fucking farm!!! (crying fully at my desk)

vatican

this is very enjoyable for me