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Sam Early Access (Patreon)

Published:
2024-01-16 23:23:23
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

CW: [discussions of immortality/chosen mortality, loss of agency, depersonalization/disassociation, trauma response]

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Talking About the Future With Your Vampire Mate | Audio RP | [M4A]

can't dodge it forever CW: [discussions of immortality/chosen mortality, loss of agency, depersonalization/disassociation, trauma response] --- hope you enjoy --- written and recorded by yours truly All my links, including Patreon (vote in polls, get credited in videos, get early access, get bonus audios, and more): https://linktr.ee/redactedaudio This original content has been created exclusively for this YouTube channel. No permission for this copywritten audio to be distributed, copied, shared, or plagiarized is granted to any person, organization, or entity.

Comments

Stapes

OH??

Guppiees

OHHHHHH ITS WHAT I THINK IT IS WHY FID MY HEADPHONES DIE

arieseyes

i was waiting for this conversation to happen but i wasn't prepared for it to be today 😭

Jupiter

I have a uni essay due soon and no where near done but this is more important

VonBunny87

I knew I'd be in class when this came out....*sigh

VonBunny87

I'm glad I was wrong, I kinda want Sam's next BA to be when he bites Darlin

Willow Zefrena

I haven’t finished it but I’m assuming that by number 8 being brown I’m assuming that his eyes were brown but we shall see

Roamin’ Rabbit

The scream I just scrumpt 😭 I was thinking “surely it’s not what I think it is” BUT IT WAS! My intuition was spot on 😂

LunaBear

I'm a Southerner so I love Sam's accent.

Stapes

THE ENDING 😫

sunshine

"Spend some time in your wolf form because youll never shift again" and "Brown. My eyes were brown." OH MY FUCKING GOD IVE NEVER CRIED SO MUCH AT ANY FORM OF MEDIA EVER 😭😭

rarelyisa

have to wait till tomorrow for youtube release 💔

Sheriff Rosie

Oh. I’m not liking the energy in todays studio…DONT DO THIS ERIC

Tech

That last line is such a killer

chia

SCREAMSSSS

raspberri_myx

"... brown. My eyes were brown." scuse me while I cry at the most unassuming closing line in the history of this channel-

Eli (Lio) ♡

ur so talented omfg the anxiety is PALPABLE

sunshine

FOR SOME READON I RLLY HOPE DARLIN DOESNT ACCEPT THE OFFER

♥︎☆°~Joonie~°☆♥︎

This was not what I expected from sam- but it needed to be asked one day but I didn't think today 😭 I'm devastated-

Khelisie Salvatore

Darlin' throughout this audio. I don't want to see their love story come to an end. If I was in Darlin's shoes I would take his advice about spending time with the pack, TALK TO DAVID near what we think would be the end Milo's Stealth lover mentions over hearing something, by the way and it , Might be something pertaining to the pack [insert comic relief 2 bozos fall into the room when Davey was gonna give Darlin' huge advice and how feelings on the whole situation. They need t spend time pondering while running through the forest in wolf form. Taking in all the akesti. Beauty that can be a wolf... unless 1 is rogue. Maybe William or Porter can find a loop hole and we have our 1st Vamp-Wolf Hybrid AND [🤞🏻🍀long shot 🍀🤞🏻] a sacred ceremony to get Sam's healing magic back- to make him a Hybrid Healer-Vamp I personally in my own life away from Dahlia and all of you; I'm the biggest vampire nerd going. I have often pondered the question would I give up everything in my human existence to become a vampire- the answer for me from a personal stans point is a resounding YES!! turn me like yesterday. I have always felt like I am running against time, that I'll never be able to finish everything in this life I want to accomplish. If I zoned out the character running around my brain is the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. As a vampire I'm almost guaranteed all the time in the world. I would go and study in some of the grandest Universities around the globe. Studying different cultures and the arts. Another reason why I want to be turned into a vampire is they never get sick. I have Fibromyalgia a chronic pain disorder with no cure & the treatments are crap.I have cancer that is supposed to be in remission, I'm scared to go to the doctor this year for my yearly check up because it had reoccured once already & they couldn't say for certain if it would or wouldn't come back again. See vampires don't have to worry about cancer, pain (unless it's the good kind) or STDs- NOTHING.

Makka

Welp, that was exactly as hard of a conversation as I thought it was going to be. Holy shit

Lucy

I AM BROKEN, ERIK TODAY'S THE DAY YOU HAVE BROKEN ME, MY THERAPIST WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS WHEN I SEE HER TOMORROW

CarcassOfHannah

an hour later and i’m still thinking about this

Rin

that hurt so much oh my GOD you have a way with words that doubles as a spear through the heart agh

ethelwynne

after this, if davey isn't the comfort we all need im gonna screaaaaammmmm bc WHAT WAS THAT 😭😭😭

Roamin’ Rabbit

Same! I think since Sam plans on ending his life anyway, why not grow old together? I still hope Sam bites Darlin and Darlin bites Sam since they are a wolf and that is how they claim their mate

pipok

I think I hate it and love it at the same time

Green Blue

I’m genuinely unsure what we will pick. I was thinking about it, and then he mentioned the pack, and the wolf form and my gut reaction was to go “NO! Don’t give those up!” The sheer weight and consequences given to turning in this universe is AMAZING.

Khelisie Salvatore

Wow... how noble, loving, gentle, strong and HONEST Sam was to Darlin' throughout this audio. I don't want to see their love story come to an end. If I was in Darlin's shoes I would take his advice about spending time with the pack, TALK TO DAVID. Near what we think would be the end Milo's Stealth lover mentions over hearing something, by the way and it , Might be something pertaining to the pack [insert comic relief 2 bozos fall into the room when Davey was gonna give Darlin' huge advice and how feelings on the whole situation. They need to spend time pondering while running through the forest in wolf form. Taking in all the majestic feelings and Beauty that can only come from being a wolf... unless 1 is rogue... just putting some feelers out for future storylines that could involve a cross trope story again with the So.aire clan and the Shaw pack. Maybe William or Porter or EVEN Alexis can find a loop hole and we have our 1st Vamp-Wolf Hybrid AND [🤞🏻🍀long shot 🍀🤞🏻] a sacred ceremony to reignite the heali g magic which was his birtn right gift. To get Sam's healing magic back- would help him feel just a tiny amount closer to the human he used to be. to make him a Hybrid Healer-Vamp I personally in my own life away from Dahlia and all of you; I'm the biggest vampire nerd going. I have often pondered the question would I give up everything in my human existence to become a vampire- the answer for me from a personal stand point is a resounding YES!! turn me like yesterday. I have always felt like I am running against time, that I'll never be able to finish everything in this life I want to accomplish. If I zoned out the character running around my brain is the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. "I'M LATE I'M LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE..." As a vampire I'm almost guaranteed all the time in the world. I would go and study in some of the grandest Universities around the globe. See the 7 wonders. Studying different cultures and the performing arts. Another reason why I want to be turned into a vampire is they never get sick. I have Fibromyalgia a debilitating chronic pain disorder with no cure & the treatments are crap. I have cancer that is supposed to be in remission, I'm scared to go to the doctor this year for my yearly check up because it had reoccured once already & they couldn't say for certain if it would or wouldn't come back again. See vampires don't have to worry about cancer, pain (unless it's the good kind) or STDs- NOTHING. Lastly all emotions a vampire feels is amplified much higher than that of any human. Of course you need to take the lossest of thevbaf stuff; but i can only imagine the loftiest high when it comes to the good stuff. So I THINK i made a pretty damn good argument on why I PERSONALLY would want to carryout the rest of my days as a Vamp. So what y'all agree with me, disagree or have mixed feelings? Come on now - I don't bite, lol nor am I mean to anyone on here. I've been a sub to the channel from the beginning (when Vincent 1st sees Lovelie in WonderWorld.) & can accept constructive criticism. Only thing I ask is please be respectful as I am respectful to y'all. 😊😊😊

MirandaC

I swear if Erik ends their story or either of them I will cry my eyes out I don’t need that to happen

Ellie

God I remember being so excited for slow burn cowboy uploads and now?!?!? Besties im not so sure my heart can take it

ChocolateMama

Tears may or may not have happened

Allegory of Wolves

Everyone is crying about Sam's brown eyes, and I'm here hung up on his statement that he made the decision a long time ago that he's not going to live forever... What, not even if Darlin' were to decide to be turned and spend eternity with him? Ouch! I rambled out my thoughts about that over on YouTube already (I like to leave comments there for the algorithm, too). XD

maka

rolling in the ground sobbing, pulling my hair, wails in agony, faints, eats concrete

✨Starlight Angel Baaabe🩷

My heart can't take this! No theories no real lore, just Sam and Darlin' being in love and talking about the shape of their future. I imagine it's the moment that Vincent wishes he could have had with Lovely. I want a future for them always together, however long always us for them. Hearing Sam's pain throughout this discussion has broken my heart 💔

EntangledSawyer

when I found out we were getting Sam this week, I was somewhat guessing something angsty like talk of the summit but it DEFINITELY WASNT THIS ERIK YOU MONSTER I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL THINGS/j

✨Starlight Angel Baaabe🩷

Just hearing Sam in this much pain broke my heart. I don't know what emotional toll it would take if something happens to either one of them or they ate ripped apart in some way!

Mary S

Imma say it…there is no need to rush!!! I get the whole Darlin’ is going to age thing, but have you seen some people in their 50s nowadays. Sometimes it’s like “damn you’re how old”?!

Allegory of Wolves

I feel like Sam needs some therapy, to get over his loss of the majority of his powers, because I think he's still a pretty impressive healer now. I already wrote this on YouTube, but if someone has such a love and passion for healing, he could also still be that without any powers at all! The amount of time an immortal being has to study, would allow them to become the best doctor in the world! Even without his (once stronger) powers, Sam could become a better healer than any human would ever have the time to become. I wish, he could see and feel that way. I agree with you about the question of becoming a vampire if such a thing were real in our own world. I, too, have thought a lot about how that would be and what I would choose if I could. I wouldn't hesitate a second! In fact, I'd probably have been stupid like Lovely and walked around the deserted Wonderland in search of someone who'd turn me. XD And with the same bad luck I have in real life, I'd probably also have run into Adam, and the whole thing would have been the Imperium AU. XDXD Shit... I'm in pain a lot of the time from chronic ailments that can't be fixed, too. And then there are some things that, in theory, could be fixed, and I even went in and tried to have that done four years ago. But the surgery failed to do the job, and the anesthesia during the surgery failed as well (something you NEVER want to experience!), and now I'm too traumatized from that to even dare to go near a hospital again. Obviously, all of that is more complicated than what I'd want to share here, but yes, I totally get how jumping at the chance to live a pain free life, and to exist without the constant fear of dying, is something that wouldn't even be a big question. At all, for me. To each their own, of course. I'd see it as a blessing, even with everything a vampire life comes with. The loss of friends and family, okay... If you even have them, then you'll lose them either way over time. As a vampire, you can still be around other vamps whom you wouldn't lose. And like you said, the luxury of endless time to learn and study and perfect your passions. Time to travel the entire world. Time to become as great as Michelangelo at painting. Also the time to just TAKE your time. Not feeling like you're wasting precious life away, if you want or need to just do nothing for a while! I know what you mean with the feeling of running against time in this human life. To imagine how much weight would fall off of you, if you didn't have that kind of worry anymore! The only thing I'd really miss, would be the sun. My sleep rhythm is very messed up, and currently I rarely see the sun as well. But at least this isn't permanent and I CAN still get to experience daylight if I want to. At the moment I'm very much looking forward to summer, when I can hike again, and hang out at the lake, even though I also absolutely LOVE nighttime. I love, how during sunny days the crystal prisms in my windows cast dancing rainbows into my rooms. I love sitting beneath trees and looking up at their canopies when the sun shines through the leaves. That WOULD be a loss! But the idea of never being ill again, of never hurting unless you get into an accident or a fight (and those things can mostly be avoided if you're careful)...! Hell, yeah! Moonshine and starlight are beautiful as well! Paint your walls bright yellow and install strong LEDs, and if you want extra warmth then visit a sauna! XD Gosh, you didn't even have to ever cook anymore, because you wouldn't have to eat if you don't want to! I don't like cooking. I hate the dirty dishes it causes even more. It would be a relief on so many levels! XD

Mary S

Personally I wouldn’t choose to turn. I think everyone’s story has to reach it’s natural conclusion and prolonging that story just drives you mad. Too much heart ache for my liking.

Allegory of Wolves

I can't imagine Erik killing off such a big main character or such a (main) listener character, or having them break up? I mean, he does torture us a lot with things like the Inversion or the Imperium. But actual main (and comfort) characters in the main story line? I don't wanna jinx it, but I kinda don't think that that would happen... Y'all getting me a bit worried here with those ideas! ;P

Dots

as someone who has a lot of fears, this is a really hard conversation to have. i’m scared of death and dying mainly because i have no idea what happens after but im also scared of loneliness. it’s a double edged sword for me; turn into a vampire and get to live forever, but leave everything you know and love behind, or live life knowing you could die at any time and just no longer exist. both are terrifying to me. if i was darlin i would have to take such a long time deciding. with sam saying he’s not going to live forever regardless of darlin’s decision kind of broke me a little, not because i don’t want him to get what he wants but the idea of turning into a vamp and then having to decide if you carry on after he passes or go with him….it leads me back to square one. cause the only thing that would keep me there would be him, full stop. yes i cried. he deserved to live the life he wanted, he deserved to be human, he deserved to live his life the way he planned to and the fact that alexis took that from him. stole his agency. god. i hope darlin decides not to turn. not that they finally are back with the pack and are living life. don’t give that up darlin. sam made his plan and it won’t budge bc of you, make the most of your time with everyone that you love.

Dots

i’m fucking crying again fuck, i’ll be thinking about this audio for a very long time

Green Blue

I know I was like….wait…..

Libby

somebody sedate me

aslan

you know what i’m just glad we got a sam audio 🥲

Kdc2019

Not me over here ugly crying or anything 😭😭😭

minie

Screaming and fucking crying over this man

Eilin

alexis i hate your rapey "i want i take" guts so much rn

Sweepy

Oh noooo Sam’s gonna do an Edward Cullen 😭😭 it was Edward’s plan to end his life once Bella passed and that seems to be what Sam will do too if Darlin’ stays human. I think they will though, because being a shifter is such a big part of who they are. I don’t think they’re willing to give that up, and I don’t think they’ll be happy being a vampire and losing the ability to shift. To ‘technically’ not be a part of the pack anymore. It’s an impossible decision honestly. You lose either way. That brown eyes comment though made me SOB

Anthea the Tiefling

After think about this, I appreciate how maturity this conversation was handled. Sam laid it out. Explained what being a vampire means to him. Discussing the depth of his trauma around it, his regrets and what he wants in regards to his relationship with Darlin. I love that he'll respect and support Darlin's decision, no matter what. How he is encouraging them to truly understand the weight of this choice. As for the actual choice. There is a lot to consider. Is Darlin only thinking about this because of what Alexis said at the summit? Or has it been at the forefront since Quinn's capture? Do they THINK they want this just for more time with Sam? Even with Sam's plan, how would impact the choice? Would they really want to give up being a wolf? Something that has been apart of them their whole life? How would the pack react? Especially given the work Darlin has done to reintegrate in pack life? I don't think its an easy choice. And I am glad its not going to be a rushed thing. Also . .."brown. My eyes were brown"

flowi

This just makes me wonder if Gavin and fl have discussed this at all

StarkRavingCait

Sam is who brought me here to this channel, I adore him, so much, and this audio both solidified my love and broke my heart.

kate 🙏 (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-27 09:00 no one’s going to die or anything, are they?
2024-01-17 11:07

Marjolijn

Hold on a second.. when did Darlin talked about being a vampire…?

Marjolijn

I don’t understand it either

vi

Ok, so this was a lot to unravel and i’m going to just leave my thoughts here for future me Darlin’ has just started getting used to the pack life and enjoying life as is, which makes me doubt that they’ll want to become a vampire but the thing that has me questioning this is their past with Quinn. Maybe there was something that happened then that could have made them think of how it would be to become a vampire. Or darlin’ will say yes because they love Sam. EITHER ONE, i don’t mind. Also just a genuine question, because darlin’ is a werewolf and then the whole process of turning them into a vampire gets rid of their shifting ability, do they just lose being a werewolf forever? I would be quite interested to know if theres anything like hybrids like you see in shows. I don’t know just a question on like other creatures. Wishing everyone to have a good day/night xx

yani

Nah it's cool I didn't want me emotions to be intact today 🥹🥹🥹

Gay_Simp

I WANNA C R Y , THINKIN ABT TANK LOOSING DAVID THEM HURTS SM BRO 😭

Gay_Simp

AND DARLIN ASKING WHAT COLOR HIS EYES WERE? I’M GONNA CRY THE FUCKING MISSISSIPPI RIVER

Amber

I swear I remember it being said that werewolf’s can become vampires but vampires can’t become werewolf’s. I don’t remember which audio because I’ve watched almost every single video except from the newest few, but there have been a few times when stuff has been mentioned…. I just don’t remember where exactly and what was said 😭

MirandaC

People are worrying me too. I also don’t think he’d do anything to them but I’m saying if he does I will cry

PJ _

Adding a bunch of sad songs to my sam/darlin playlist, brb 🥹

gabby d

oh that fucked me RIGHT up

Cinnamon Sugar

It might have been in a live stream, but I recall this too. Wolves can go Vamp, but not the other way around.

Allegory of Wolves

He said, that Darlin' needed to know that he had decided already a long time ago that he wasn't going to live forever. And I kinda get that sentiment, and perhaps it even takes some pressure off of the idea of being immortal. Giving yourself permission to end it, should you ever get fed up with existing. Who knows what 2000 years of living would do to a person, no? But the way he said it... It sounds so depressed. So... not right. I feel like, no matter what Darlin' decides (personally I have the feeling they'd want to stay wolf), Sam is in great need of some healing. Not because he might not want to exist for all eternity, but because he sounds like he's still hurting a lot.

Cinnamon Sugar

Never fell so hard for brown eyes as I did the moment Sam spoke those words. ♥️ I cannot imagine trying to make this impossible choice. Darlin needs to talk with Lovely a little bit. They know what it’s like to lose their powers as well. …it would also be beneficial to speak to someone who became a vampire by choice (Lovely doesn’t count cause it was a life or death situation). …I wonder if that would be Alexis….😳

kate 🙏 (edited)

Comment edits

2026-09-27 09:00 after listening to it, i feel so conflicted, yknow, like im trying to put myself in tanks shoes and that shits so hard to think about (btw i’m shocking at explaining shit 😭) i love both tank and sam, and i’ve never felt so sad and distraught for them. when sam said his eyes are brown, i felt my heart sink into my stomach 😢, but now im confused, what colour are sam’s eyes now, or are they still brown?
2024-01-17 19:50

Shiva Akuma Midas

I think all vampires in this universe have silver eyes 🤔

rarelyisa

i read somewhere (probably the redacted fandom wiki) that his eyes are white with specks of crimson

vi

Ohhh ok, thank you! I’m still sort of new and trying to get through every video with my short attention span😂.

arlo

oof this huuuuuuurt. i can’t imagine that kind of decision for darlin’ but I’m glad they talked about it directly rather than letting it linger? I really wonder where their story will go… And also, idk but man it sucks that William helped Porter keep his magic after his turning and Sam was left high and dry and unwillingly became something he never wanted. Sam deserved so much better in life. I’m glad he has darlin’ now, but wow.

ICPFORLIFE13

Are we still getting and bonus audio today or is that another day

Leonidas

Imagine the packs reaction 😫

Audrey

Crying, screaming, throwing up