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For Whom The Belle Tolls - Chapter 40. Lilies (Patreon)

Published:
2023-10-22 02:48:58
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

TW: Continued funeral, mentions of corpses, mourning

I've had the image of Bel & Lily doing what they do at the end for a very long time, and I fully recognize that, as an author, I can get attached to certain scenes that might not make sense or add to the story. I apologize if this is one of those times.  

In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy!

As always I more than welcome your comments, critiques, and observations. You help me tell a better story, and for that I thank you. 

Please don't share this anywhere else! (Unless you're letting your friend/partner/pet read it on your account here. Boops for any of the above are optional but encouraged. The comments made me laugh last time. 

Jaysea 

Comments

Metalupis

Booped cat who was on my lap as I opened the chapter

Syd San99

You do such a good job at bringing life to death

Emily Anderson

That was beautiful they way they went back and laid flowers for the children and parents. It was heart wrenching but beautiful. I loved it. Oh…. My heart…..

Trish Ramey

Beautiful. Haunting. A wonderful memorial to ALL the fallen. We'll done.

Imma dragon (Hayden)

I’m glad that bell was not the only one who thought of the youngsters sent to the battlefield as bait. I’m glad they’re remembered

Robin Reed

Not me over here crying, nope not at all 😢💔💜

Kristiane Laucht

That was as painful as it was beautiful. The flowers, the net and Lily moving the youngling, excruciating and yet soothing in a way I can't fully put into words.

Jena

Well, I cried a little. This was beautifully done. But uh. Is Laz hinting at the whole deification part for Lily that allows her to have the discussions about her future with Bel in Hell’s Belles? Are we about to get the deification report?!

Sam

Tears. Streaming down my face. This whole world restores some of my hope and faith in my present one. 🩵

Caz

That was hauntingly beautiful, especially the scene in the abandoned realm, I'm sat here crying

Imogen Honey

The last scene was beautiful, I can absolutely see why you got attached but please be assured, it definitely fits with the story and adds a haunting reality to the war. There are no victors in war, only victims. Also really adds insight to Bell as a person and the duality of a fierce career warrior who doesn’t revel in violence or fall back on ‘fantasy racism’ to justify killing. Overall, absolutely loved the whole chapter.

Ana-Elizabeth Arnao

That end scene brought tears to my eyes, honestly. It was such a... infinitely compassionate moment. To honor and mourn the fact children are also victims of war, albeit in a non-typical manner in this case, and that parents will do anything in their power for their young. It was beautiful, it was sad, it was poignant, and it heartfelt.

Jess Sokel

Got me cryin in the club rn 😭

Devilcat

That was so powerful. So beautiful. So I don’t have other words. I love this. I think this is the first fiction book that’s made me tear up. I read mostly history books, and I thought all the descriptions of war and torture I’ve read that were real had made me immune to crying over fictional wars. Well done.

Samantha Johnson

I can't stop crying, the minute he asked her to go with him I knew and it made my chest hurt. A wonderful and terrible chapter that needed to be written. I'm gonna go hug my cats for a couple hours now. ❤️

Kristiane Laucht

That scene works perfectly, it feels natural to who Bel and Lily are. Doesn't feel like it was out of place at all.

Beth Reilly

Oh Kaysea. This was beautifully written and moved me. The prayer for the unknown and the honoring the children/parents was perfect. So sad, but so full of hope.

FearTheCook

Wow… that almost wrecked me. Absolutely beautiful! Bravo. Very moved by the last scene.

Vic Hill

I think this scene not only made sense, but added a surreal and beautiful piece to this part of your story. I'm surprised I didn't cry

Peter Psareas

This was a perfect way to end. Understanding for creatures forced into a terrible situation not of their own making. I find it especially poignant given what is happening in the world. Well done Jaysea. This is a beautiful chapter. Rather another beautiful chapter.

Carrie Brooks

2 questions: 1) What is afterlife like for demons? Reincarnation, unknown realm, the void…? 2) I get the impression that Sharkie spends a lot of time running around independently. Is that correct? For some reason I’m trying to figure out how the Sharkie/Mom Lily relationship works on a daily, practical basis.

Mac T

I tried to cry but I have a sinus infection and my tear ducts are clogged.

Ollie

Minor correction in the last sentence in the second to last paragraph on page 8 “*the* black opals”

Eldritch_Spook

Crying in this bar wasn’t what I was expecting tonight but here we are

Samantha Pare

That was a beautiful way to honour the dead of the other universe, especially when it was an unfair ending for them all. What parent wouldn't run into battle to try to save their children. The horrors of war are never fair, but children should never be used as bait/fodder. The flowers for the pairs of fallen was a beautiful way to mourn those lost, and I liked the lime "For those we don't know to mourn" 😭👏💕

Andrew Parrish

Darn cliffhangers! That was a beautiful chapter thank you.

C Williams

Sharkie gets me every time. Always big love to give. Beautiful as always

Tara

The depth of your emotional intelligence is amazing! It really show in your writing ❤️

Kyllisha

Oh that was so good. Brings to mind an old quote that no one truly wins in war.

Peter Psareas

I’m still crying. Thinking apt this is with the Gaza war raging. No easy answers but try for basic humanity

Nicole I

That was beautiful and I’m so happy you added it to the story

La Yuca Mala

Im not cultured in flowers. What does it mean when you put a yellow Chrysanthemum and a White lily next to each other?

Peyton Stanley

Arthur (my kitty) has been booped. Chapter thoughts: really beautiful. I know this story is centered on lily but I would love to see the relationship blossom for luci and sharkies parent child dynamic. I am such a sucker for those parent moments especially when it's also kinda a grumpy sunshine moment too. The end was perfect. The first thing I did was look up flower symbology. I'm curious which interpretation you intended but I think it's also kinda perfect not to know cuz Bel and Lils wouldn't know either

Figment Lorton

😢 No dry eyes here. I have loved reading each and every chapter and the emotions that grab me. You are an extraordinary writer with such a way of getting us to feel all of the emotions from each character. Please keep writing, I can’t wait for the next chapter. I love seeing Sharkie grow up and see them all become a family! Thank You! 🤟🤟

Andrea Dumais

This was beautiful and very sad. I’m so glad it’s a part of the story. Also doggo is booped and got extra cuddles after reading this.

Danielle Beard

I'm not crying... someone's cutting a lot of onions 😭😭😭 Beautifully written Jaysea.

Victoria pitkanen

Needed the Kleenex by the end. That was beautifully written.

Amanda Cormier

This is astonishingly poignant, Jaysea. I feel like I can get so stuck in my compassion fatigue that it can start to morph into apathy and start hardening my heart. I try not to be unkind, but I think I shut down a lot of my own emotions before they can choke me up. The depth of compassion your characters have is a gentle but firm reminder to find it within myself to hold space for softness even if it chokes me up in the process. This was a beautiful chapter. 💜

Tatianna

Awh. I feel for Lev. I have GAD and one of my triggers is not knowing things. Knowledge brings me comfort, too. I got second hand anxiety reading that interaction 😅 Bel’s rite was so beautifully executed. I appreciate that you have called attention to there being something deeper to the battle than the ones sent to fight it. It would be easier just to write them all off as the enemy and not develop it further. I’m really glad you didn’t.

Charlie T
>>120364279

I don’t think it was a flower meaning- but a sign that they weren’t the only ones placing flowers

Alisha Hobgood

I believe this to be the perfect ending to the funeral and mourning process (the one that is visible to others at least, it’ll always be there). You wrapped it so elegant and beautiful. Another amazing chapter finished🥰

Amber Thibodeau

I think it was perfect. Between Sharkie thinking of Luci and the flower added. And even Lev and his coping mechanism.

Bianca Nicole

I was trying so hard to keep tears from falling. Then yellow chrysanthemum happened. Skillfully written. sharkie wanting to be there for Luci, Lilly's explanation that she didn't have to fix him was powerful.

Embeth Arreyn

That was beautiful, Jaysea. "The ones we didn't know to mourn," indeed. Thank you for your skill at reaching back for the nameless and forgotten.

Kim Frederick

Beautiful chapter, had me in many tears. All 4 cats have been booped and hugged on.

RedNightWolf

That was so beautiful, especially Bel's rite at the end.

Anij Walker

This chapter made me cry

Kiana

The young ones burnt has been on my mind since I read that chapter. I'm so thankful you gave them a fitting ending as well. I have a lot of ex military family and friends and the topic of children in war sends them miles away. You've done them justice. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.

Thornblade

And now I'm laying in bed crying.... Absolutely BEAUTIFUL work as always Jaysea but damn this hit hard. I love it all the more because of it, but shit the rite broke me. Don't take that badly though, it's meant well. Pulling emotion like that through writing is a talent/gift, don't ever forget that.

Emily Barteaux

This was incredible. It is so beautiful and thoughtful and well written. You said you had this idea for a long time, you can tell, it's so well developed and heartfelt. I am in love with how much compassion for others you have developed in all of your characters, and this is another prime example of how Bel cares not only for his warriors and people, but for life itself. This was incredible. I'm in tears even after reading the chapter 3 times. ❤️❤️❤️

Amanda

That’s was so well written! I almost cried at the end. This series is so good!

Eleanor Vann

Holy shit this is so beautiful

Mark

I don't know how you do it, but each chapter is better than the last. I love what you've done with every character. I'd love to see you expand the universe by having Bel and Lily (on a peace mission) go into the realm that attacked them.

Kenyoda Adams

This was lovely. Bel's rite was beautiful and hit all the harder with what is going on in Palestine.

Bailey

“The ones we don’t know to mourn”. Jaysea, I’m sobbing in bed. Thank you for sharing your story! 💕💕

Steffi Bullock
>>120364279

Actually, yellow chrysanthemums can represent sorrow and white lilies usually represent rebirth. I was going to comment that I love what she picked for the flowers because their meanings are very important. Now, I agree that it was beautiful that others were placing flowers as well but for some cultures (and for me personally), giving the correct flowers at the appropriate time and venue are very important!

Jessica Tanner

You have such a wonderful talent for describing scenes so clearly one can see it. I was crying at the end of the last chapter, and I am crying at the end of this one. My heart broke during the battle when the realization about the younglings came over Bel but "seeing" the parents still holding onto their young and the tenderness shown by everyone........ I couldn't help but smile at Lilly moving the young one to be with their parent. Part of me expected Bel to see and go over to help but at the same time proud that she was able to do so without help. "For those we don't know to morn." Awaiting your next chapter on the edge of my seat.

Jenny Shaw

Wow...I don't have anything else, but wow. And tears.

Kat 💜

Wow. Every word ripped my heart out. Well done, you 💜

Shay

So last chapter, I woke up to cry. This chapter, I'm going to bed in tears. Good gracious, you are good at painting the picture of exactly the heartbreak Bel and Lilly are both dealing with right now, in separate ways, yes. But both have trauma from this and I truly hope they see some therapists about it. 💔

Kali Chamberlain

You are an amazing writer! Making us feel all the feels in these chapters lately! And all the growth in the characters is wonderful! I love it!

Samantha Thatcher

Wow, I am amazed by the growth of these characters with every chapter.

vienna marinello

Shit that one was really emotional. It had me crying

Kat Waterflame

I'm not crying. You're just blurry. Nope... Turns out I'm crying! My dad died in 2020, and I haven't really been able to properly mourn. I think this chapter unleashed tears that have been sitting dormant in my head for three years. Thank you for such a beautiful bit of writing.

Agne Veckyte

This was such a beautiful chapter! You keep making me cry😢 but all the best reasons

Chas

That was a beautiful picture amongst the destruction.

Jade

I've been binge reading this whole series and I finished ch 39 yesterday and got so sad. Imagine how excited I was when I saw this chapter dropped! I am in love with this series

Daysi

Such a powerful and poignant chapter! So beautifully written! Thank you!!

Rayna Kenawell

Everyone has said it already but this was so beautifully written, it made me cry. Ever since I read that part, I had been thinking about the children being tortured so the parents would fight and I LOVE what you did with it.

jessiee

So powerful, and so beautiful and eloquently written. Fantastic job Jaysea you’re an amazing writer and I can’t wait for the next chapter xx

Tzwaenia.fox

Boobed the dog and my mom, she is slightly confused now. I love that chapter, Jaysea. Love how Sharkie cares about Luci. And that they don't forget the youngers on the battlefield. Also Lev always reminds me of an old classmate, I remember him doing some math when one of our classmates died because that's what his autistic brain found comforting.

BJ Canaway

The compassion & passion written into your story is masterful. I hope it develops into something as amazing as Dragon Lance.

Regina Winter

So beautiful. I'm crying for those tortured young ones and their parents. 😭

Illana Navas

I was ok until the very end, but that yellow chrysanthemum just has me a little broken. Incredible writing as always ❤️

Veronica Gordon

I never knew I could feel this upset and angry over other universal beings….. but those poor families 🥺 beautifully written

Kat Brown aka MamaKat

For the ones we do not know to mourn. May the memories of love outweigh the grief of loss.

Aspen Byrd

This feels oddly comforting with what's going on in the world. Both sides have losses, one side may be more right than the other, but there are always parents protecting their children. For those we do not know to mourn. 💜

Kori

Read this way too early in the morning. Now crying into my pillow.

Jenna B

This was beautiful. It really showed both sides. Definitely did not think I would be crying this early in my day.

Judy Sullivan

It fits…that scene is absolutely perfect! I absolutely lost it (that’s a good thing) with the description of parent and child. The yellow chrysanthemum just killed me. Well done! I adore the scene with Lev! It’s great to see the reminder that everyone deals differently and that, while awkward, it’s still valid. Lily’s grace and understanding shine! Sharkie…oh my…so grown beyond her years. So compassionate despite her life. Knowing how the feral cutie pie turns out, this just lays such a solid foundation for her

Van Brewer

I must’ve missed the hiccup in the flow that you speak of 😁 it seems to me to flow, as well as always. I enjoyed seeing the continued growth of the bond between Lily and Bel’s, while they share one of those major life events. Well done, as always.

Dana Netherton (he or him)

How did you know? The things war makes us do in order to survive, which then give us nightmares, which they name with four gobbledegook letters, beginning with "P." (Not me personally, I hasten to add. I'm an ex-submariner, and we haven't been in combat since 1945. But I read, and I feel.) So many combat vets can only talk about their experiences with those who also were there. The home folks don't understand why. This can be one of the reasons. How can you tell a civilian about this, without feeling like you too were a monster?

Carrie Brooks
>>120363689

I feel like I should say something about the chapter being beautiful, meaningful, moving, etc, which it was! But I’m emotionally tapped out so I’m enjoying the storytelling and letting random questions float to the top. 😁 Though I’ve wondered about demon afterlife for several months…🤔

Seshimori

I'm trying to bake while crying now.... This is beautiful Jaysea. Thank you for your amazing work.

Kat

Amazing. The awkwardness with Lev so real. I have seen people like that at a funeral who just don’t know how to read the room or don’t know what to say. So we’ll done.

Jsparrow

The feelings you brought out of me through this chapter is unbelievable. The comfort for the fallen on the demon's side, the almost comedic relief of Lev being horribly awkward in his own endearing way, the sadness from the Lillies being placed yet comfort and finality in their end. Love love love it! no notes!

Keith Frederick
>>120374922

I know it was a typo, and this subject matter is serious, but I can’t stop thinking about how you “boobed” your dog and your mom.

Keith Frederick

Wonderfully written, as I’ve become used to from you. The part with Sharkie just made my heart ache at her kindness. I apologize if I’ve missed a detail, or if there’s something I don’t know, but was there some special significance to the yellow chrysanthemum at the end? Or was it just signifying someone else’s shared mourning for the creature?

Sarah Harmon

It’s not often that something makes me fully sob. This story has definitely made me cry at many points, but this chapter shattered me. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and haunting chapter with us, your writing continues to amaze me every time you post.

Alayna V Lassen

Well fucking done!! Your writing is so powerful and you did such a beautiful job with this chapter. 💛

Jsparrow
>>120399479

I was thinking about this too, so i did what every good nerd does and googled it. In hells belles Ruggy is noted to be a flower wizz and know all the secret meanings to flowers which I think is a reoccuring theme here. White lillies mean rebirth and purity (which is incredible with our bad ass lily going through a rebirth in the afterlife) but yellow chrysanthemums have had many many meanings. in the victoria era they meant neglected love or sorrow but even further back in ancient Rome they meant protection from angry gods. I like the thought of them being placed for protection given that they may not have wanted to be on that battlefield but im just a nerd with google, so if i am totally wrong I am so sorry but this got me excited.

Ben Brown

Didn't make me cry this time, HA! It was ONLY amazing!!!!

Natasha

Thank you for ripping out my heart. These last 2 chapters have been heart wrentchingly beautiful.

Diesel Frog

The end bit with the flowers was perfect. It shows Bel's heart and compassion. I am glad you included it.

Scarlett_loves_Loki

When writing some chapters do have to hit the cutting room floor, but no matter what you decide I'm glad I got to read this chapter. It was beautiful and it honors how much both sides lose during war. I like to see that the afterlife can relate to the mortal world - with tragedy, etc. - but also surpasses us - with compassion and emotional vulnerability. Really well done.

William Lynds

Chopping onions for two chapters in a row, beautiful.

Carrie Brooks
>>120363689

Do they go to the void TO die, or WHEN they die, or both? I know they can choose, and I think they can be sent/taken, though that might be from ao3, but is the void default or only option if they are killed?

JustSurvibing

Wow. I think this adds a lot to the Universe your creating. A overarching rich Universe where pain and love and empathy are central. I think this adds a lot to the story. I started weeping at Lily reuniting the bodies and didn't stop out loud sobbing till the end. Well done.

Pluvia

Wonderfully written! I love seeing the compassion that Bel has. He understands that truly no one wins in a war. He mourns for his allies and his enemies. Beautifully heart-wrenching 🖤

Rae Lee

I don't have the words to describe what this chapter did to my emotions. Well done🖤

Tyler Davie

We don't deserve Sharkie.

Hatter

Reading this at work and just about started bawling at the battlefield. Beautifully written, as usual!

Amber Chisholm

To quote Hawkeye fro MASH. “War is war and hell is hell, and of the two war is worse.” Only sinners go to hell but war takes the innocent. Amazing writing that shows this with compassion.

Amber Chisholm
>>120372795

I feel where you are coming from. My dad passed in 2018 and had barely cried since and my mom had passed in between now and them as well. But this book has helped me come back to life. I spent a long time crying in the chapter bel talks about his dad and even longer here with the show of the pain of those parents of the babies on the battlefield.

Amber Chisholm
>>120363280

OMG i have been speculating with my hubby and friend as to how this would happen. This would be so awesome! The ultimate way of Lev showing he truly cares about them.

Serienmae

Imma be honest, I hope that our afterlife is half as compassionate as the one you've created

Chloë Kristalsdóttir

Probably my favourite chapter so far 💜 Dog came running to receive his boop, brother did the opposite. That resulted in an 8 minute long "avoid the boop" game that was eventually ended when our mother yelled at us that we were both adults & we needed to stop destroying her kitchen. Mother received a complementary boop as well.

Kataris

All too soon I find myself caught up after having started reading this two nights ago. This story you've been sharing with us is so powerful and full of so much love and emotion that it shines through. Thank you for sharing, and I'll be reading as much as you continue to share. ❤️

Randi Mutchler

There have been maybe 3 books in all my life that have made me cry and you've done it a few times already! This chapter touched my soul. I love your writing and hope my own book can live up to the beauty that is your descriptions and scenes. 🖤🖤🖤

Megan

I started this last night and spent my entire day off reading and catching up. I haven't read like this in a very long time so thank you for helping me find this joy. It was a beautiful chapter that fit my understanding of Bel and Lily perfectly. I've been watching your videos since it was Chaos Goblin vs. Linda and it's amazing to see how those videos that got me through my own deconstruction turned into this beautiful work of art that continues to comfort and inspire me💕

Amy Harris

Ok that was a lot of feels. I’m mentally prepared for Penny s back story. I think this is a good ending to book one; one to book two?

Tabytha Zimmerman

This one got me. As a spouse to a veteran, watching them battle with the grief and pain they come home with is so hard. But this just reaffirmed how important it is to be honest about your feelings and really FEEL them. As a mental health professional you’ve done an amazing job with this whole book! Keep up the good work!

Shawnee904
>>120453013

Same. I've got to stop reading this at work! This is like the third chapter to make me cry.

Shawnee904

This was a beautiful chapter. You had me tearing up.

Alex :)

Your writing is fantastic as always. You’ve once again managed to entirely paint the scene in such a vivid way it wasn’t hard to picture at all. I definitely felt a lot of feelings. I did want to ask if you specifically chose the flowers for their meaning? 💜

Rebekah Shipp

I don’t usually comment, but I had to let you know that the ending scene was absolutely, heartbreakingly beautiful. Especially as a mother. It brought me to genuine tears. Thank you for pouring so much heart into this work, it really shows.

Tamura Hupp

Boops were given to my pup, he was mildy confused

Elizabeth Werstein

This chapter was sad, but it was also beautiful. I can see why such a scene for Lily and Bel would be stuck in your head and I think you did a great job with it.

Lily Stagner

How are you doing? These last two chapters have been so incredibly heavy and intense just reading them, I can't imagine how rough it has to have been while writing them.

Megan Ghitea

Both my pups got booped and have been cuddling me since I started crying. This chapter was beautiful in a haunting way. Can't wait for it to be published so I can pre-order! Thank you for showing that war doesn't stay on the battlefield and the grief of battle isn't just for your fallen comrades.

Anjuli

Beautiful chapter. Doggy got bopped even though he didn’t understand why. Keep it up. Can’t wait for the book to be published

KK

This chapter is so important to the depth of their hearts to the understanding of grief and to the love and compassion they both have for the world and each other. You did an amazing job of showing it and I just want to say thank you for being you. 💜💜💜

Felicity Shields

And again I'm crying. Thank you. It's cleansing.

Lorkogai

Oh my god. That was devastating. I'm standing in my shower sobbing not able to finish because I just read the end of that chapter oh my God it was great

Kayla Cox

Oh wow, this chapter has shown so much about the characters and I love love love it.

Lily Stagner

Gaahhh. I was rereading the last few chapters and damn, this one got me again...so many tears shed over this beautiful story...oof.

Carol johnson

So moving. I dont cry easily but these chapters were sad and beautiful

Ida Grönberg (LittlePeanut)

This chapter isn't in the tag "For whom the belles toll" so I almost missed it during my re-read

Erika Wood

What a wonderfully moving chapter. You captured grief so well.

Peter Psareas

I now have read this chapter many times. I think it is the best on the book. It highlights the best parts of us. How we should strive to treat each other even after unspeakable events. I hope I will live up to this standard if called upon. Thank you for this special chapter in a wonderful book.

Arson :]

God this one and the last one always make me cry, its so well written you did a fantastic job

Peter Psareas
>>127254042

I know you have to edit. Please be extra careful with this chapter. The scene with placing the flowers is so exceptional. I have read this chapter many times. This is so heart felt and beautiful. Just exquisite.