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For Whom The Belle Tolls - Chapter 39. - To Honor the Fallen (Patreon)

Published:
2023-10-15 04:10:56
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2026-06
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Content

TW: Military funerals, mentions of death and loss.

I have learned that making myself cry writing while something is not necessarily a good litmus test for quality. That being said, I made myself cry writing this. 

As always, if I have accidentally overstepped or misrepresented something, PLEASE let me know! I will never be upset about editing/grammar/spelling corrections either, so please don't feel bad for helping me create a better story. 

For those who are curious about the song inspirations:

Songs I listened to: Journey to the Grey Havens - Howard Shore, Stoick's Ship, Goodbye My Love - Tyler Bates (300) 

Healers' song: The Passing of the Elves - Howard Shore, Bridge of Khazad-Dum - Eurielle, 

Warriors' song: Vichnaya Pamyat - Homin Lviv Municipal Choir (from the Chernobyl soundtrack) 

Please don't share this anywhere else! (Unless you are letting your partner or friend or pets read this on your account here, then go for it, the more the merrier. Also please boop your pets for me, booping your partner or friend is optional. ) 

Jaysea 

Comments

Nicole Ice

Who needs sleep when a new chapter just dropped?!?

duway martinez

Haha just got out of the pumpkin patch and have an hour drive home this could have not came out at a better time lol

Jessica Hengel

Partner and both pets have been booped, as per your request

Cici

I was just rewatching the hell’s belles series lol this was shockingly good timing

Vic Hill

Haven't even started and I know this is gonna make me cry

SeaYaLater
>>119837465

The mental image of that happening just out of the blue for them is just so pleasing and hilarious to me 😂

Eldritch_Spook

My dad was active Air Force when he took his own life. I was young maybe 12 or 13 but I remember his funeral. Grief is not something that is always easy to express. I remember feeling numb until one of his battle buddies came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder telling me that my dad talked about me often and was proud of me. Understanding that grief is shared and you’re not alone is paramount. You did great with this.

Autumn Keeton

Just finished the chapter and I'm bawling 😭

Emily Anderson

This was beautiful. Very well written and moving. 1000/10 P.S. - I booped my husband on the snoot. He just sighed, resigned to the fact that he married a strange woman and did not question it.

Maria Elkhoury

i’m sobbing. this was so beautifully written. i’m so proud of you

Trish Ramey

Heart breaking and beautiful. Also, the pupper has been booped as per your request.🥰

Kristiane Laucht

You captured grief so well, so painfully well. And the shared pain and sorrow, but also the strength. I feel like I'm 18, and soul has just been ripped from me again. I am not okay.

Alice

Not me reading the caption and immediately without thinking going to boop my wife's nose while they sleep 😂 time to regret my life choices and get hyped reading this chapter at 12:30am on a work night

Carrie Brooks

Per instructions, my little Gus (12yo beagle/rat terrier, cranky, stubborn, bratty, and light of my life!) had been booped, and then provided with an extra treat. I’d pass on his thanks, but I’m pretty sure he thinks it is only his rightful dues 😎

Alexis Crespo

This was so beautifully written. I hate military funerals but this one touched my heart and made me cry (which is why I hate them) Great job once again. I can't wait till you start publishing your work. You deserve it.

Jamie Lane

Beautifully done. 😭😭😭

Bryan

Amazingly done as always Jaysea. Time for a hot coco after I get done crying.

Ashley Poindexter

Samael’s letter to Bel made me bawl like a baby. 🥺 this was beautifully written, as always.

Savanna Haley

I’m crying and my boyfriend is still confused why his nose was booped

Anij Walker

That was so beautifully sad. I can't cry because I'm rocking my kids to sleep, but tears did slip out.

Imma dragon (Hayden)

When I saw you had uploaded beef onto ao3 I knew there was another chapter here, but OOF in my reread I forgot what was coming. This was deeply beautiful. Seeing Bel finally come into his role is gut wrenching under the circumstances it came to be. To heal in a time of great sadness and take comfort from old losses in face of the new. Also question: where’s asmodeus’ mom?

Caitlin P

I booped the nose of my toddler asleep beside me and will snuggle him a little closer than normal tonight. Also, the music. Jaysea, the music. Perfection. ♥️

Tatianna

I was good until that last line. Now I’m ugly crying and grateful that past me spent the extra money on chocolate lava cakes from domino’s.

Peter Psareas

I was not strong. I stopped multiple times to cry. What a powerful chapter. I’m mourning for fictional characters who have become family. I did not see any errors, but I’m sure I’ll reread this often. Bless Bel and Lily Sharkie Asmodeous and Sariah. Mostly bless you for creating this wonderful world. I think this time crying while you wrote is ok. I hope the next chapter continues the ceremony

Mark

This is one of the very best chapters you've written. I am not a person who cries, but...... oh, my. I'm so glad nobody is around to see me right now (I must have dust in both eyes).😭

Alisha Hobgood

I wish there was a way one could post a photo of their pets being booped so everyone could enjoy the cuteness.

Syd San99

I love the irony. You have taken funerals in the afterlife and breathed life into them

Samantha Johnson

It's hard to read through tears. Hauntingly well written

Ellie

I've known fellow soldiers who fell in the line of duty. I feel this chapter in my core. I wish they had been treated with this kind of respect. Thank you. I didn't expect to cry from this.

Briony James

Such a beautiful chapter, tears definitely slipped out. The songs were perfect and added so much more emotion to an already moving chapter

Brandi

This chapter was so powerful and beautifully done. You conveyed the emotions clearly, yet organically and the letter from Samuel was well done and showed the love that Bel had been missing from his father. I have loved this whole story, but this chapter is really something on another level. Super well done.

DndGoblin

Where are my tissues?! 😭

Abigail Seaney

I served for 8 years in the US Army. The same week I was promoted to Sergeant, one of my soldiers committed suicide. It just about destroyed me. In the US Military we do what is called final Roll Call. It's when the Company first Sergeant Calls the name of each Soldier until we get to the one. You each say present. Then it's "SGT. Johnson..." silence, "SGT. Michale Johnson.. SGT. Michale Allen Johnson..." Then we all line up and Salute the fallens Flag Drapped Coffin. This instantly brought me back to that day.

Beth Reilly

I'm fine. I'm not crying so hard my dog is trying to merge with me with her brand of cuddles. Jaysea, this was so beautifully written. The emotion was so on point.

PunisherLuv

Masterfully written! You write like you have a deep personal understanding of the fallen's Family grief. Delivering respect unity love and compassion

Anna

I can’t stop crying, this is so beautiful.

Embeth Arreyn

As a prior servicemember, and as a military spouse, thank you for this. Beautifully handled.

C Williams

Beautiful...that is all.

Jessica Tanner

My emotional support kitty came and entwined herself between my feet as I was reading this chapter. You did such a fantastic job it brought up memories from my father's funeral. He was a Vietnam Vet and was lain to rest with full honor. I had to stop reading multiple times to process not only my emotions from my memories but also the emotions of the characters. Thank you for all your hard work and sharing this world with us.

Amanda

That was so good. So well done.

Thornblade

Booped the partner and doggo! Looking forward to this as I always do with your work. Doggo says hi for the record! Expecting to cry as usual, will report back.

Thomas Forrest

Beautifully written. Grief will always be one of the great unifiers, and this shows exactly that. I absolutely lost it at Bel’s letter. It’s great to see Bel fully accept and come into his role as prince, even if it is under such tragic and somber circumstances. Looking forward to what comes next!

Chloë Kristalsdóttir

Brother was very confused about the boop, dog was incredibly enthusiastic

Thornblade
>>119840619

I mean this in the best way possible I promise. Damn you. First off I've needed a good cry and this brought it out hard, ugly cry over here. Secondly everything about this is beautiful in it's own way. Your writing is immaculate as always and the beauty of the story matching it completely. Be proud of what you do, you deserve to be and also have every right to be. ❤️

Vida Pacheco

Absolutely beautiful...nope, not crying.

Wolfie

as a combat veteran (US Army), I was incredibly moved by this. I loved the imagery you created through your words, and it was done well. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Tyler Davie

Well, the transition from booping my wife and cat (and getting booped back) to nearly being unable to speak past the emotion was quite the ride.

Ari Finnie

Bruh, you made me legit sob, I never cry at books normally but I've literally lost count of the amout of times I've cried at this book.

Chef Jeff

Yes, the tears are flowing, your words have brought the service alive. As one that has been to many....in theater, at home and abroad, and in the fictional realm too vivid imagery through your mind to words have created

Laura Rennhack

This is absolutely beautifully written, I can't stop crying. you have an incredible talent for letting your readers immerse themselves in your writing.

Arminda Gray
>>119839237

I can’t even hear TAPS anymore without flashing back to Roll Calls. Those are some of the hardest memories. My heart grieves with thee, sister.

Alexis Waisanen

I cried. Then read it aloud to my boyfriend and cried some more. Then finished and sobbed. You are one of the best authors I have got to witness. I am absolutely honored to be able to read what your brilliant and beautiful mind has come up with. Being in the military and talking with veterans and the old school soldiers, along with my own grandfather and father… I am very touched and affected by this. You wrote it beautifully, respectfully. Oh my gods I am dying at this book and at your series on tiktok. I love it all. Thank you. Thank you for letting us read this. Thank you for letting us watch you with your amazingly astounding characters on tiktok. But also… f you for leaving us on this cliffhanger lol. You’re amazing. Keep it up and take some time for yourself and your mental health. I can’t even imagine how hard this must have been to write. You are so wonderful. I hope I get to meet you some day. All the love, light and happiness to you. ❤️

Caz

You made me son my eyes out over my morning coffee. That was a beautiful chapter.

Tzwaenia.fox

Boobed the dog as requested, he than decided to stay on my lap and being the best emotional support he could be. Jaysea this chapter is so beautiful written, I needed to stop multiple times, cause reading through tears is pretty hard. Got asked what my favorite book is a few days ago and I had to explain, that it is a book that's not even out yet.

Van Brewer

This chapter was read tearfully and respectfully. It captured the grief made up of infinite sadness and soul-deep pride for loves cherished and lost. Bringing in the enormous closure of Bel, in reading his letter and wearing his crown, was a poignant illustration of the closure intended for so many who remained, and here those remained are both fictional and real, as we can see from so many of the comments here. My heart thanks you for sharing your gifts of creation and compassion.

Julie McJunkin

Beautifully done. Now where's that tissue?

Donna Haddaway

I should not have read this at work!! Ya know bc I just have something in my eye. Very well done.

Chas

Fine! I'll start the day with an ugly cry, geesh! Beauty in grief, beauty in healing, beauty in family. An amazingly written chapter.

Samantha Pare

Well I am weeping again. That was beautiful, heartbreaking and lovely.

Jayde Gammie

I stopped reading about 20min ago and I'm still bawling. Captured everything brilliantly. My God your brilliant. No book has ever made me sob like this.

Samantha Pare
>>119850358

The music made it so much more real as I read it the second time and now my heart hurts, and I can't breathe through my nose. Beautiful choices for the chapter. And I'm seriously gonna consider having them played at my funeral one day.

Bex Merhar

I cried so much reading this chapter

Anna Warren

Making me cry, beautifully written. So much talent

Celine Gorman

As requested, I booped all three of my cats (Nova, Quill and Freya) and my sleeping husband before reading this chapter. We just attended a funeral not too long ago and this chapter brought every emotion back to the surface. As always, your writing is impeccable and inspiring and I loved every moment. Thank you for trusting us to read this before anyone else 🤍

Shay

JEEEEEEZ Jaysea!! This was a beautiful and sad way to start my day. I loved it! The hair. The crown. The letter. The singing for some reason made me bawl and I was already crying.

Lilith Revised

The grief when you described Bel returning home and finding the box on his bed, and then in the present read the letter, was so powerful, and with certain familiarity that I needed to take a moment. You did a beautiful job on this chapter.

Ben Brown

What does your litmus test show if you make big tough manly men cry??????

JustSurvibing

I held together until the Bel and the Generals held shoulders/hands. Such a powerful image of both immense grief and healing.

Van Brewer

My Spotify playlist of the music should be available, “Requiem for Fallen Demons”, because you needed to cry again.

CraftyBySelina

This was so beautiful. I love the hole book so far, but as a military vet this hit home hard but in a good way....thank you. Can't wait for the next installment 🙂

Karen Wright

Nothing like ugly crying first thing on a Sunday morning. What a beautiful chapter.

Metalupis

I had wondered if we'd see the letter at some point, he said he had gotten it but never said he read it. Chapter gave me a few tears this morning, lovely as always.

Kat Brown aka MamaKat

I cried during the entire thing. I didn’t even bother mopping up until the end. Many legions of tears.

Bailey

So glad I got my coffee before turning into a mess of tears

Judy Sullivan

One of my creative communities suffered a huge loss this week. The sense of community even while dealing with personal grief resonated powerfully! I love the way the crown factors into seeing Bel’s growth, the family time that is both deeply personal and recognized by others, and the whole loving, respectful tone

Jynx

As always, such a beautiful and amazing chapter! I was trying to watch for spelling/grammar errors but I was crying too much lol absolutely love it Jaysea!

Larissa Bakker
>>119856894

Is this an actual playlist? I couldn’t find it but feel like it would be great for an emotional detox

Anthea ✨

Great way to start my day 🥲 such beautiful writing

Sean Price

absolutely fantastic.

Daysi

I cannot love this enough! So beautiful and so heart wrenching. I couldn’t help but cry while reading it! 😞

Kat 💜

Oh, my heart 💔💜

Kali Chamberlain

So glad I had my coffee while reading this morning! While a hot mess! Insta tears with the braids and rest of the chapter! Just beautiful! Another song that comes to mind for me is the misty mountain song that the dwarfs sung in the Hobbit for me don't know why just did during the end of the chapter for the grieving. I look forward to these every week!

Melissa Singley

Beautifully done. I could see it so we’ll in my mind as I read and read m glad I read it alone as my tears were falling.

Kelly Jackson

Very strong. You wrote some really powerful emotions here without falling back on platitudes or generic imagery. The little things (the letter, that Sharkie isn’t wearing her onesie) serve to make deeper those feelings that connect readers to characters.

Jordan Yeager

That was incredible! We all cried along with the demons although I’m not gonna lie I did chuckle when sharkie told bel his crown looked good because the first thing that popped into my head was “sharkie did you steal bels crown again?!” “I traded him for it” 😂💜💜💜

La Tricia Ransom aka OlivenBoo

first, a grammar note: on page 12 you wrote “a millennia”. millennia is plural, so either drop the “a” or change it to millennium. now that’s out of the way … the letter from samael broke me. i was abandoned by my dad and we had an uneven relationship in my early adulthood. when we were starting to find our way, dude up and died on me. i suppose he later showed his love for me in his own damaged way, but never did he clearly express his love for me or pride in the woman i grew to become, and reading such unequivocal love and pride by a father to his child just hit so deep! excellent writing

Megan Cairns

Wow..this hit really close to home for me..my uncle passed and it's his funeral tomorrow. This really touched me and it was wonderfully written.

Jen

Thank you xoxo

Jessi Woods

Incredible. The grief and imagery of these situations so well captured by your writing. As the daughter of a Gulf war vet (desert storm) and as someone whose parent attempted suicide the emotions of both these situations were so well written. And yes I had to read it in two parts because I was sobbing too much after the letter.

cosmic Water

Well now I'm ugly crying before my shift 😢

A.C.

This was beautiful, I wish we honored our fallen in a matter like you wrote.

Anthony Felscher

I wanted to post earlier when I read this but unfortunately didn't have time. But that's also not a bad thing. It's given me time to roll what I want to say around a bit before I speak. Even thinking about the funeral scene again has me holding back tears. As someone who has been there for multiple Final Rollcalls, this hits deep. I want to thank you for that. I don't feel things like most people. It's exceedingly rare that something reaches out and grabs ahold on a visceral level. This brought me back to those memorials in ways I cannot and would not describe, even if I could. And again, I thank you for that. I also want to thank you for the way you've written Bel and Asmodeous' struggles since they've been home. The way you've portrayed the survivors guilt and the beginnings of the other issues that come along afterwards through the filter of love and understanding is heartbreakingly perfect. And it makes me just a little jealous for those of us who had the handle that alone. You've done a beautiful job of writing just enough of the struggle so that those of us who have lived with it know where they are, without having to put those that don't need that level of internal torture through even a little of it. Again, Jaysea, I cannot thank you enough for your writing, videos, and the community you've begun building around yourself. Thank you for the way you can show us a look into the brutality of life with gental and loving eyes.

LE Clark

this is amazing. i hope everyone i love goes to a place like this some day.

Peyton Stanley

Kitty has been booped for you! Bout to catch up!

Peyton Stanley

Okay glad I booped kitty first cuz now I need to hold kitty and cry that cleansing cry. Amazing work dude. Just so powerful and amazing

Jenn Perry

I have booped all 5 cats that are currently in the house for you, now off to read this chapter

Anjuli

No kitty to boop but booped a doggie. This brought tears to my eyes (which is exceptionally hard to do). It was beautifully written.

Kim Ehret

That is absolutely beautiful

Devilcat

I booped one cat before I read this and then the cat in my profile pic after I read this. Then my husband who kept interrupting me while I was reading this. No context. Just a boop. Anyway. This was amazing. I felt the image after thousands of people walking down the stairs in silence. The crown. The letter. I do have a question. Who are the other two princes of hell?

Sam

As someone that had lost a family member to war (my uncle, KIA, 2006) this was a beautiful rendition of how I felt and what it’s like to continue on during times like this. It’s been 17 years and I still always think of him. 🩵

Lalakay

He walked his father to the void... That took quite a while to reflect on.

Peter Psareas

Just read this again. So beautiful. Still crying. I am in awe of your talent

Hannah Raye

This was so beautifully written

Regina Winter

Beautiful and heartbreaking 💔😢

Maryann

Oh, Jaysea. Your description of the funeral is absolutely beautiful. I cannot speak to the specifics, and I have no connection with military experience or ceremony. But as a thoroughly civilian outsider, this is absolutely beautifully written. I love the way you’ve depicted the recognition of loss and grief, as well as both the sorrow of mourning the lost and the beauty in coming together as community to support each other through that shared grief.

_jackieeeee

I had been waiting all weekend to read this so that I could sit down and actually enjoy your writing and focus. You had me in tears with "My beloved son". Another great chapter, Jaysea!

Peace, Love & Bubbles!

I would have to say that you crying must be a great litmus test because I was also in tears. Beautiful world building.

Gene

Dang this cliffhanger lol I'm loving the story!

Kat

Beautiful I cried a lot. The grief is so well illustrated.

Andrea Dumais

Reading this after a very long Monday. Very sad but beautifully written. Also my dog says thank you for the scratches and kisses I gave her on your behalf.

Beth Goergen

So after reading this and doing a rewatch of hells belles I think I prefer lily knowing greg before his and pennies relationship

Eilidh

"My beloved son" utterly broke me! And I was doing so well tooo :( You really know how to pull at people's heartstrings!

Iris Del-Tin

Booped my two rabbits for you and now I'm crying, because of this beautiful chapter. My granddad passed away a year ago and your description of the pain, the shared grief and the support is bringing it all up again. Thank you so much for your amazing writing!❤️

Shawnee904

I'm crying at work. This is one of the best chapters ever. It sounds weird to say that about such a deeply sad chapter but this is some of your best work.

James armour

I read the new chapters while in the pub with a drink. I am now sat in a nearly empty pub crying.

Jennifer Cathren

Booped all three of my cats and my doggie then read this chapter I recently lost my grandmother and the grief is still very present this really helped me and I would like to thank you for your beautiful talent for describing the funeral. Absolutely amazing!

jessiee

What a heart wrenching memorial. I think this is the first chapter I’ve read outside of hospital since you publishing and it’s a beautiful heartfelt chapter with many emotions. Your writing is spectacular and you did a beautiful job on this chapter. The past few months for me has felt like a battle, losing friends along the way, as it often is with oncology patients, but this chapter really helped me to remember their experiences, lives, memories. I wish I could’ve gone to funerals to pay my respects to them, but I was too unwell to be allowed out of hospital. I felt like I found the peace for them in this chapter. Thank you Jaysea x

Robert Waldbauer, aka Professor Greenman

So extremely moving and emotionally telling! Your writing conveys the emotions in an achingly and beautiful narrative, one that affected this reader to tears.

Paige Danielsen

Booped all 4 dogs, both ferrets the snake and the cat lol

Ryan Ward

Gosh dang that was beautiful. As always you did a great job!

Aroha Charles

Loved the chapter made me cry love your work

Mike Smith

I just grow more attached to your characters with each chapter and video. Thank you for sharing your world with us.

Rae Lee

I had so many tears with this. The description of the funeral itself was breathtaking in both its beauty and pain. Excellent chapter!

Michelle Mc Ghee

Absolutely beautiful and moving, Bel reading the letter from his father then processing the love and loss. The actual burial scene had me in tears. I loved the imagery, the ritual, and the emotion.

Nonakris

Powerful chapter honestly you can feel the pain of the loss and picture the demons uniting in grief

TashaHeart

My pets aren’t within reach just now. However, my toddler is and they got a little boop too 😜🥰

Felicity Shields

I had to wait until I was strong enough for this. And I'm still sat with tears pouring down my face. Your writing is truly powerful and immersive. Thank you ❤️

Kayla Cox

Not alone. Two words that made my eyes swell with tears… At work no less. This chapter ripped me apart.

Elanore

Mention of songs and war, this is an Aussie one about the Vietnam war - I Was Only 19 (A Walk in the Light Green) Song by Redgum

TaraLoua

All pets were properly booped before reading this chapter. Also, all three are snuggled up to me and cuddling so it worked out well. I also gave nose boops to my teenage children. One begrudgingly accepted from a distance and one happily leaned in. Just thought you might want an update to your boop command. 🤣

TaraLoua

And I am sobbing. Beautifully written. So beautifully written.

Epse

I have read many books, never has a single one of them made me cry. This one chapter has. The way you manage to put raw emotion in a page is unparalleled

Peter Psareas

I reread this chapter for at least the tenth time. I don every time. The love and loss, grief and hope is overwhelming. It’s February 25,Jaysea I know you are having a hard time right now. Please know this book is special as are you. Thanks for creating this world

Arson :]

First time I read this I was at work, and damn it made me cry so much

Alexandrea Sawyer

Listening to the song whole reading gave me goosebumps and made me realize that when it's my time, I want something like this playing.