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#166: The Opium Eaters, Pt. 1 (Patreon)

Published:
2022-07-16 01:18:10
Edited:
2022-07-16 01:22:39
Imported:
2026-06

Downloads

  • opium eaters pt 1.mp3

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Content

How the West Was Won; or, how my whole-ass brain got taken away.

Note: normally I do a show every couple of weeks, but the next one is going to be a step-by-step guide to opiate withdrawal (as nearly as I can manage it), and I want that to be a public resource, so I'm going to try to have it up by next Friday.

Files

Comments

Nic Bodiford

At roughly 8:50, Michael recites a quote about how the human body can hold 40-50lbs of heroin with the guts removed. Does anyone know where it’s from? I assume either The Great Heroin Coup or The Politics of Heroin. Just bought both books and wanted to start with the one that the quote is from.

Seth Corwin

You're a legend Judge. Can't wait to listen on my commute home

Ricardo

so happy to have you back!

Wooobie

👏👏👏

Scott Winsick

It’s so good to have you back man. Your journey here helped my uncle who OD’d in 2011 and got revived open up about how rough it was to quit. I’m forever grateful my addictive personality didn’t land on opiates. Much love brother we love you

Sean

Folks. He’s back

Tony

The return of the king

g28

I lost some good people to dope; got a few back too. Glad you're hanging in there. 2nd hand the recovery system seems awful. I wouldn't have a job if I had to drive an hour one way every morning to get methadone. Hell I work with a lot of people that wouldn't pass a breathalyzer at 6am either

Stephen

Glad you made it good brotha 💪🏾

Anj f

So happy to hear you've made it through the worst. This shit is unimaginably hard, and you've come really far. For what it's worth, this recovering alcoholic is proud of you.

Zach

I'm glad you're back MSJ, and I very much appreciate this new series. It sounds trite, but hearing your perspective from this episode alone helps me understand and empathize much more with what others close to me with various and intersecting mental illnesses have gone through (and continue to go through). Listening to your account made me viscerally realize how impossible the process of trying to quote unquote "get help" is, especially in our dysfunctional and dishonest health system; and how, terrifyingly, even if one manages to access a doctor or psychiatrist, they can just as easily make things worse. Thanks for this, and I hope your recovery continues to go well.

Wooobie

I too went psychotic on LUVOX. It also made me sleepy. A very bad drug.

Andrew Kuhs

So glad you're back and seem to be past the worst.

Louie Van Patten

Great to hear your voice, I feel a little less lost.

y4lemom

Missed you MSJ!!!!

Keenan

The bit about Harris and Klebold both being on Luvox absolutely blew my mind, I can't believe you never hear about that re: Columbine

Sigguros

Happy to see you back again, and thanks for sharing your story. As always you're doing a ton to change my perspective

Luke

Michael, I don’t want to throw a pity party for myself here but I had a fucking terrible last couple years. I was more alone, dependent on booze, and disconnected from myself than I have ever been in my life. When I paced around that empty house I could no longer afford, shit faced and wondering how the hell I was going to make anything get better, I at least could listen to your show and think to myself “shit, this guy gets it” and in that moment I felt less alone than I had felt in a year. I’m less of a drunk now for what it’s worth although I guess I failed to remain sober, but I’m out of the toxic relationship i was in that lead to my isolation, and I’m feeling less alone. I know all that it gets better shit is mostly an empty promise, but in hearing you talk about recovery, despite how different my situation is, once again your show is helping me feel far far less alone. I wish you the best, I’m happy to hear from you again, and I thank you for all you’ve done for us listeners. Take care of yourself.

Parahomie

Worth the wait, man. You sound like a whole ass person and I am grateful to hear it. Really looking forward to the shows you're working on. Much ❤️, Michael.

Jonathan Schultz

I can't properly convey how pleasant it is to hear your voice again. This is an important episode and for it I applaud you. Be well, sir. Thank you.

Jim Salow

It was so good to hear your voice again man, so happy for you.

golfhater69

So glad you’re back man

David Winn

I felt a bizarre resonance with my own experience listening to you. My case is far less intense, but I was (non-ideologically) straight edge until I was 21, and then put the pedal to the floor with booze. Weed makes me want to crawl out of my skin, and a psych ward doctor told me that I have some obsessive tendencies. Luckily I only took acid while I was on SSRIs so I had no reaction whatsoever. I also had a quack doctor who got me off booze but also put me on a medication that basically left me on a horrific bipolar cycle. Recovery made me appreciate the fine grades of mental anguish from monotonous anhedonia, to bleak despair, to days where I prayed for a drunk driver to mow me down in the street. I hope that you have found some moderate peace and comfort in these early days

Deborah Schwartz

You have been a font of information on all sorts of topics I’m keenly interested in, and the bits on opium’s history in today’s episode did not disappoint. I’m very much looking forward to the next one, and I’m so glad you’re back and feeling better.

Eric The Bed Humper.

The depersonalization and deassociated I have felt since 13 years old. I was definitely a raging asshole for most of my life because of trauma at home. I think taking the adhd drugs made it even worst because facing my dementia riddled mom throughout my 20s being caregiver I couldn't do sober. I had to be basically brain dead which doesn't help my future prospects of getting the disease in my early 60s. So my memory of my 20s were pretty much thrown out the window.

Pear Is A Patsy

Glad to hear your voice again MJ, you at least sound a fuck of a lot better!

The Cheerful Comrade

Bro your voice sounds so much better. We never realize how apparent our "dope voice" is.

NickCaveAndTheSadGreebs

good to have u back michael. re: methadone, i think a lot of people are unaware how awful it is just because its marketed as the safe alternative to help heroin addicts get clean. its responsible for approximately half of all drug related deaths here in scotland, and weve had a huge spike in deaths in the last few years, highest per capita in europe iirc. horrible shit

RobotKitty

God, it took me about 8 years to get off methadone. It’s a beast. You should be so proud of yourself for getting through this!

Juan Sacchi

Delighted to discover you are a former footballer. Sad to hear it caused you pain and troubles. Glad you’re back and for what it’s worth, you sound a lot better!

Doug Conway

I'm grateful to hear your voice again. wishing you the best

Patrick

Really glad to see you above the bottom MSJ. My negative experiences with the pharma industry are super minor, but I do think quitting some shit I was taking for a year has left me with a seemingly permanent (minor!) anxiety disorder. My girlfriend was prescribed benzos as a kid, and I can't really imagine what our lives would be like if neither of us had ever met a psychiatrist. This shit matters, I wish I heard it when I was younger.

Renee Leath

Thank you for being willing to share your experiences and knowledge. The god complex of some doctors/psychiatrists is staggering, and extra terrifying that they get to us during some of our lowest points then exploit our desperation to just feel human. Your thoughts on informed consent were very insightful and I wish I had heard them earlier.

Some Guy

I always knew there was just something that made Pepsi Zero better than Coke Zero, but I just couldn't put my tongue on it. Good to know now what it is.

Dennis

‌low tide at the dryin’ out facility.... thank you for sharing this

Ryan O'Leary

Thanks for your work brother. Means the world to the rest of us

Zac

This podcast really made my day. Glad to hear you happy and healthy!

uya

i haven’t finished this episode but Ive been on suboxone for almost a year now and during my process of getting sober it has been insane how little my doctors knew about their own field. I’m literally just a guy. I guess I’m smarter than average and do my own research but I don’t take pleasure in the fact that I 100% believe that I know more, medically, about opiates and the detox process than 99% of doctors and maybe 80-90% of doctors that specialize in addiction. And tbh Im being generous bc i havent met a doctor yet I didnt need to educate about something. even basics like clonidine. It also doesn’t help that google very specifically censors any useful information on harm reduction and instead fills any query related to drugs w just pages of SEO spam articles for shitty rehabs. Anyway Im happy your back and happy you’re making (an) episode(s) about this.

James Will

Hi Michael, I haven’t finished the episode yet but thank you so much for making it. I’ve never heard someone describe OCD in a way that I was able to relate to. Most think that it’s an intense fastidiousness which is infuriating when I remember fearing that pointing my feet at people was me wanting to shoot them. I doubt others will get what I mean by that, but those with OCD will. All I can say is I’m tremendously relieved that you’re on the mend, and I hope to hear more of what you have to say about OCD if you feel comfortable with that. Just what I’ve heard has been really helpful to me. Best wishes!

Aubrey Frantzen

Hey man, just re-subscribed and I'm glad you're back. Your description of OCD is super spot on. It completely destroyed my sanity earlier this year and I've been making a strong recovery from it the last few months