Selfportraits (Patreon)

Today I turned 30

Sounds kind of serious, right?) Kids on the street can officially call me auntie Julia now — and I won’t even be offended.

I’ve never really felt my age. Numbers have always been just numbers to me — something abstract that never matched what I felt inside. When people asked how old I was, I could easily say a year or two less, not to seem younger, but simply because I didn’t feel those extra years. Nothing inside had shifted, so the numbers didn’t mean much.

But now — thirty feels real.

For the first time, I started saying I was thirty even two months before my birthday. And that number didn’t scare me at all (though yes, some visible signs of 30+ are starting to appear here and there))). It actually feels like my inner world and my outer timeline finally synced. Like I’ve caught up with my own experience — and it all makes sense.

And no, I haven’t achieved everything I wanted by thirty. Honestly, I’m not even trying to “achieve” anything anymore. I’m already here. My values changed, my desires shifted, and maybe I’ve simply come back to my beginning — to a new version of myself who dreams and acts without fear, without old patterns or borrowed expectations.

I also pulled a card for this next year — Page of Cups.

The illustration already made me smile: a naked girl in a cup of milk, surrounded by flowers, mountains, and yellow butterflies.

Meaning:

The Page of Cups is the energy of the inner child — the one that no longer needs to hide. It’s the soul that, after years of depth and experience, allows itself to be soft, open, romantic, and a little naive — but with the wisdom of an adult. Emotional awakening. Rediscovering the ability to feel, to cry, to laugh, to be vulnerable without fear. Creating from the heart. A new artistic style might emerge — gentler, more intuitive.

Oh yes… I like that. That’s exactly the direction I’ve already set my compass to.

And with that said — I’m closing my laptop and going to celebrate my birthday in the forest, in silence, with my love. Just listening to the sounds of nature, breathing, being.

Love you all who’ve been patient with my constant reinventions and endless streams of thoughts.

Big hugs to everyone.

P.S. It’s my 30th — so I’m officially old enough to give gifts instead of getting them ) Subscription to all tiers and all items in Shop on Patreon is 30% off until the end of the month.