Merry Christmas + New Drop (Patreon)

Christmas has always been a family holiday for me. Maybe the only one where absolutely everyone used to gather in one place — cooking together, talking for hours, singing songs. When I was little, it truly felt magical. Over time, of course, we all grew up. But somehow, Christmas remained the one constant. The one day where we were together.

And that’s exactly why it now carries a quiet sadness — because after so many changes in the world, in Ukraine, in all of our lives, that version of Christmas no longer exists. We no longer all gather. And yes, that’s hard. But I also understand: this is part of growing up. Of becoming someone separate.

I’m 30 now. Almost married. And for the first time, I feel that creating the celebration is now up to me. That’s new for me. I’ve never been the one to “make the magic.”But maybe now, it’s my turn.

Lately, in the days before Christmas, I find myself remembering how it felt when I was a child: how my parents used to come up with games to keep us entertained, how “Santa” would visit, how we lit sparklers, decorated the tree, sang songs. Those small things built a kind of joy that stayed with me for years. But from around age ten, something shifted. Each year, the holiday felt a little less festive. I used to think — maybe that’s just what happens when you grow up. But now, sitting in Cabo with my fiancé, I finally realize: it wasn’t just the season — it was them. My parents, my family — they were making the celebration happen. I just didn’t know it at the time. I thought magic simply arrived on schedule.

Now I know: if I want light, warmth, joy — it’s on me. I don’t need snow. I don’t need gifts. I don’t need Santa. I just need to try — to show up, to care, to choose to make it matter.

I want to build holidays that leave something lasting. To feel that same spark I had as a child — not by recreating the past, but by making something new. Because I was that child who started counting down to Christmas on December 1st. Who waited for Saint Nicholas, for snow, for sledding, for fairy lights. And now I’m the adult who goes to bed early, eats ice cream, and watches Home Alone on repeat. (Which honestly, isn’t so bad either — but you know what I mean.)

I just want to wish you a Christmas that feels like something. That feels yours. That brings back even a little bit of what you once felt as a kid — whether it’s excitement, peace, or just the feeling that something special is happening. And may you never stop wishing, or waiting, or dreaming.

By the way — today I’m also releasing something new in the Patreon Shop. It’s a self-portrait series I shot on film in Paris. These images are a little different from what I usually share publicly — more direct, more playful, more about the body and physicality. Not polished, not staged for perfection. Just raw, real, and curious. They mark the beginning of a new direction I’ve been quietly exploring over the past year.

This photoset is also the seed of a future book or zine I plan to create in 2026 — a printed collection that dives into themes of sensuality, identity, and the shifting relationship we have with our own bodies.

If this speaks to you, the series is now available in the Shop. And if not — that’s completely okay.

Thank you simply for being here. I’m wishing you warmth, light, and a moment of peace this season. Wherever and however you’re spending it.