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Professor Jiang, Part 1: Geopolitical Pantomime (Patreon)

Published:
2026-06-30 10:04:34
Edited:
2026-06-30 19:19:51
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

On Decoding the Gurus we regularly get to hear a lot of truly “high-level” ideas, but the much-requested subject of this episode’s decoding is up there with the best of them. We are talking, of course, about “Professor” Jiang, the internet’s favourite new overly confident online guru, now that Jordan Peterson is indisposed. Jiang Xueqin is a secondary school teacher who has found an online audience thirsty for his particular style of confident bullshit, and he is more than ready to roll out his “predictive history” analyses on command.

Be prepared for some serious professorial cosplay as Stephen Bartlett, from Diary of a CEO, spares no expense in his endless quest to indulge every modern online crank, offering a grab bag of props as well as his usual thoughtful pauses and awe-inspiring requests for definitions. Thrill as the honorary professor performs as a grand seer and geopolitical strategist, complete with a tabletop world map, wargame prop pieces, whiteboard flowcharts, coloured chess sets, and a dramatic metal briefcase full of sealed predictions.

So get ready to experience his hit-parade of forecasts (Trump's 3rd term, endless war with Iran, eventual U.S. “loss”) along with his trademark conspiratorial mélange of real-ish facts, misstatements, and domino-chain inevitabilities. The end of Part 1 is a sign of things to come, featuring Jiang's post-apocalyptic advice on how the good people can rebuild society with the help of prophets and visionaries (AKA gurus) and soothe yourself with the knowledge that we are all ultimately just a God-derived fractal consciousness anyway.

Sources

Diary of a CEO: Professor Jiang: World War 3 Is About To Begin, Let Me Explain!

Mehdi Hasan vs. ‘Professor’ Jiang

Professor Jiang talking about the Nephilim and Other Such Stuff: The World Is a Prison– The Secret Meaning of God And Creation | Prof. Jiang Xueqin

Professor Jiang promoting creationism and denying evolution

Professor Jiang, Part 1: Geopolitical Pantomime

00:00 Introduction

02:28 Introducing Professor Jiang

05:57 Diary of a CEO Interview: World War 3 is about to Begin

15:19 The Original Predictions of the Professor

17:52 Insights into the War with Iran

34:47 The Wisdom of Donald Trump's Defense Strategy

45:10 Back to Iran

50:22 The Professor Pantomime

54:10 The Definition Game

01:00:48 Harsh Truths about the Professor Pantomime

01:06:20 Flexible Predictions

01:11:30 Trump's Third Term

01:19:02 More on Iran and Geopolitical Strategies

01:26:49 Russia puts Iran under its Nuclear Umbrella

01:29:59 The Great Geopolitical Chess Game

01:36:06 The Russian Chess Team

01:41:19 Speaking Confidently with Props

01:43:11 The 3rd Chess Player Enters: The Globalist Jews

01:49:54 The Surprise 4th Chess Player

01:56:04 The Grand Plan of the US and WW3

02:12:35 The Fall of the American Empire

02:19:50 The Heroic Listeners and the Gurus who will Rebuild Civilisation

02:28:13 The Inner Circle

02:32:53 End of Part 1

Comments

Sam Hall

Good quote from Stephen Bartlett at 2:27:00: “a lot of things people say, sometimes, because I learn so much doing this, I forget them” Explains why he needs even the most basic things explaining to him. He’s learnt too much!

Linda Sears

I haven’t listened yet, but the written description for this episode is top notch. One might argue that Jiang is Chris’s guru muse.

john statham

Where be this DaveOs place? Why it be in Switzerland, in the canton of TrevOs.

Karen 🇨🇦🇺🇸

I feel cheated that we are not being treated to screenshots of your notes. 🤨🤣

Dries T.

Shout-out to Chris for managing to crowbar the feminist glaciology paper in! I chuckled.

Mark Francis

Another hedgehog wishing he was a fox. Jiang should review On Grand Strategy by John Lewis Gaddis

Richard DV

Bartlett again … ‘lolz’ looking forward to this

ValueSoup

Maybe Bartlett should listen to some Iain McGilchrist, so he can learn what a hemisphere is...

Paul Ditta

A friend of mine, who is a perfectly reasonable human being, raised a red flag at me the other day by saying she regularly enjoys DOAC. He’s not the worst. But that’s like saying bubonic plague isn’t as bad as Ebola (I don’t know if it is or not. Leave me alone, virologists)

Jesse Rimler

This guy is connecting the dots... Prof: "Mexico... Venezuela... Cuba... ever notice these are all in the WESTERN HEMISPHERE?" CEO: "Whoa -- What's that?"

Joanna Mulvaney

this makes Jamie bartlett’s last podcast series even more amusing. ffs jiang. what a stable genius.

Emma

I love that the only downside of Russian Autocracy is that Putin will eventually die???. What about the fact that he is bankrupting the country with blatant corruption and misguided wars?

Emma

Also had the same thought as Chris. As an ex evangelical I do not see the church at large being even vaguely interested in the activities of the orthodox Church. At this point I think catholic, protestant and orthodox basically function as different religions. I think there is zero chance they will unite under any leadership

Jeanne H-B

"Desalination? Topography? Western hemisphere? What are these strange words?" (Steven Bartlett, it seems) I feel bad for the perfessur's students, too. I hope some students and colleagues call him on his bs.

Joanna Mulvaney

stephen reminds me of Gary Johnson “what … is… a bronze age?”

Chomagerider

I genuinely believe Matt summarized our times in the age of endless content around the 1h15m mark perfectly. People forget what they heard within hours or even minutes and everything becomes a vibe. Individual facts do not matter. Narrative and general vibe matter. And that's built bit by bit, one transient bullshit article/conversation/podcast/video at a time... And the dumbasses who don't know what the western hemisphere is are happy to suck it all in...

Nancy Hale

Jiang’s baroque explanations of events remind me of the Mousetrap board game or a Rube Goldberg device.

Ryan O'Rourke

The only thing sillier than the grand strategy for America that Jiang lays out is the idea that the Trump administration has the discipline or desire to pursue even a small strategy

Chris Rincón

My dad recently sent me a DoaC interview with a “neuroscientist” professing that humans can communicate from beyond the veil. Needless to say, I had to hit him with some DtG insights (in addition to debunking the farcical empirical claims). I’ve had very little exposure to the guru-sphere beyond this podcast, but an increasing number of people I encounter in my work and personal lives absolutely marinate in this shit. Listening to the pod has definitely made me better at systematically countering these scoundrels at the local level.

Martin 🇧🇻

A pantomime for idiots - is that a sequel to A confederacy of dunces?

Theic

At one point I did a double take about America having the giraffe. (The Giraffe is how I heard it.)

Martin 🇧🇻

Was Jiang saying that China, Russia and Iran would just build a railroad between them and use land? Iran borders neither China nor Russia by land...so I imagine countries like Azerbaijan and Pakistan doing the "Am I a joke to you" meme to Jiang.

Gavin Ryan Studio

Bartlett obviously has to dumb it down for the American audience

YellowDreams

I could be losing my mind but I think around the 55m mark you repeat the same segment as earlier on that was regarding the professor pantamine. It appears earlier in the podcast near the start. Also it feels like the western hemesphere section after that was referenced by Chris earlier when you said “there is the answer to that question about the western hemisphere.”

Doll House

i am a new addict i need DCG to keep my brain nice and clean and i am very excited for this xxxxxx

Doll House

i started watching a prof j lecture once not knowing anything about it and it started off quite interestng and then he started some craaaaayyyyyy stuff and i was so confused but also smart enough to click that he was nuts

Heidi Sævareid

Dismayed to realise that my husband (who is a REAL professor) has something in common with Jiang. He also peppers his lectures and talks with an authoritative "right?" No prediction boxes, though! As far as I know!

Cee

Haven't finished listening yet but I have to chime in with a correction: "Professor" Jiang definitely does not know how a desalination plant works if he thinks they use an electrochemical process to create potable water 🤦

Sam Stephenson

Jiamg could have just like savored the prediction victory and said “the us will lose because it doesnt have the will and also it loses its own wargames against iran” but no, we’re instituting the draft in september for some reason i guess

Beel

The Diary Of A CEO really is another flavor of Modern Wisdom with its guest roster. . The waffling about nothing really does sound like a parody of a modern day podcast at some points.

Idan Ca

“What is the western hemisphere? Does it include Canada as well?” 🤷🏻‍♂️

Chris Clark

“Consciousness divided into fractals, being a good person, being a creative person, physicists…they said something like this to me, this is a nice message” this is the chorus to my next song.

Da Jay SwIzzle

The bronze age collapse thing felt WAY out of left field but the way he described it, in simple terms about mass immigration and hunger, strikes me as being accidentally right. When it gets too hot to grow crops in the back half of this century, multiple bread baskets fail simultaneously and it gets too hot to work outside in the daytime in a swath around the equator, we probably WILL see mass immigration on a scale we've never imagined, and a lot of those people will be hungry. But it doesn't sound like he mentioned climate change or global warming once in this section, and I listened to the source interview lol

commutercomputer

Somehow it's extremely funny to listen the part where Jiang explained all the players on the "geopolitical chessboard" because it's straight out of some strategy game where this nations are playable factions. However his descriptions of the nations were so jingoistic that this game wouldn't be published because it would cause too much controversy. As person from rather small country it's always extremely infuriating that these geobros "forget" that countries outside of US, Russia and China even exist and people from these countries might have something to say about future of their home countries.

Saad Ahmed

I haven't finished the episode yet but one things that stuck out to me was his statement about Iran's main goal being the unification of the all of Muslims under their leadership. Iran is only Shia Muslim country, which represents maybe 10-15% of the Muslims population. As someone who was raised as a sunni Muslim, I find the idea that global Muslim population would unite Irani leadership laughable. Majority hold very negative views about Shia's and are basically fed propaganda against them since childhood. Mutual hatred of the west and Israel may foster some solidarity among Muslims but what he is pretty far off the mark on this. Yet he lays this all out so confidentially

Elissa

Chris: I demand to see your notes! I mean - what the hell am I paying for? Is this inner circle or what?

Philip Grant

Always had a soft spot for this kind of teacher, who would spend the lesson expounding his own stream of consciousness and forget to assign you any homework.

Philip Grant

"What is game theory?" :D Come on man, there's literally no one listening to this podcast who won't delight in explaining at length what they think game theory is!

Lucyna

I love it when Chris goes „it’s getting a little high level for you, Matt”.

Sam Stephenson

“Iran’s third attack vector is that they are very defensible” wow brilliant insight professor

Greg T-K

Does Jiang just make up each answer on the spot when Bartett asks for a definition? Bartlett asks "what is a war of attrition?" and Jiang replies that it's making your adversary "say uncle", as if a Jiang neuron fired that raised the word "surrender" and "say uncle" is just what he could come up with. Then Bartlett asked "what is game theory?", and Jiang said something like "things can be simulated when individuals act rationally". That's not remotely an answer to the question, but it is as if one of Jiang's neurons fired to tell him that game theory is used in economics, and then he hallucinated the rest like a flesh and blood LLM.

James Lucas

Oh no. This one is going to be painful

Adam Sher

I might cry uncle before getting to the end of this episode. The war of attritian on my psyche may become too much to bear.

Greg van Dyk

Reminds me schoolboy conversations on the playground. However, I feel u should cut Bartlett a bit of slack - he's playing the naive interlocutor. Im sure he knows the answer to many of the questions asked. Thats just his fawning technique.

Melinda

Oh come on Matt and Chris. If you put 1000 wanna be Hari Sheldons in front of 1000 typewriters, one of them is going to predict the future accurately lol.

Shug

Good grief. The original video has 5M views.