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Miko spider corruption p7-8 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-01-11 02:43:41
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

First post this years. Sorry for taking a bit long. I redraw some of the panels.

Let do our best this year!

As always if you find any mistake feel free to post it in the comment.

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Comments

Canti

Some grammar points: let’s see, it’s really creepy, and it suits you

trigger_portal_cleanser

Format: Original quote ↴ Modified quote with [notes] ↴ Modified quote without notes. Notes shown in [square brackets] Multiple possible modifications shown in {curly brackets/braces} ――――――――――――――――――― “Let see how you will mock me now.” ↴ “Let’s [“Let’s” is a contraction of “Let us”, which is probably what you intended here] see you will mock me [Removed the “now” here, so it doesn’t feel like the sentence is complete. Because it isn’t]…[While non-standard, using an ellipsis here can let the reader know this sentence connects to the following one.]” ↴ “Let’s see you will mock me …” “When we wear the same face, little sister!” ↴ “...[And the counterpart to the trailing ellipsis from the previous sentence, a leading ellipsis can denote that this sentence is a continuation]When we wear the same face, little sister!” ↴ “...When we wear the same face, little sister!” “What.. Did you call me!?” ↴ “W-what [Rather than an ellipsis, which denote omissions or pauses, a stammer (represented here when repeated letters and hyphens) is probably close to the intended effect of stumbling over words] did you call me!?” ↴ “W-what did you call me!?” “Wha… My voice!? My body!? Are you just turning me into Mikoto!? Gross!!” ↴ “Wha…? [More of a stylistic choice, but I think having a question mark here fits] My voice!? My body!? Are you just turning me into Mikoto!? Gross!!” ↴ “Wha…? My voice!? My body!? Are you just turning me into Mikoto!? Gross!!” “Mikoto you need to undo this!” ↴ “Mikoto, [Comma after addressing] you need to undo this!” ↴ “Mikoto, you need to undo this!” “Huhuhu Why would I want to do that?. You look so much better already sister” ↴ “Huhuhu Why would I want to do that? [Remove period] You {look better already [Proposed changed, “so much” is redundant with “better”] / already look so much better [Closer to original text] / look so much better already [Original. Fine grammatically, but isn’t the “smoothest” of text]}, [Comma before addressing] sister. [Period]” ↴ “Huhuhu Why would I want to do that? You {look better already / already look so much better / look so much better already}, sister.” “Stop calling me your sister! It really creepy!” ↴ “Stop calling me ‘your sister!’ [Might want to add quotation marks to make it clear it’s a quote, not necessary] [Furthermore, punctuation inside quotes is a whole farce, I like them outside, but inside is more common] It’s [Contraction of “it is”, which is probably what you intended (not to be confused with “its”, with is the possessive (Like how “Mikoto’s” is to “Mikoto”))] really creepy!” ↴ “Stop calling me ‘your sister!’ It’s really creepy!” “This is your punishment. So take it like a man Kyo.” ↴ “This is your punishment. So take it like a man, [Comma before addressing] Kyo.” ↴ “This is your punishment. So take it like a man, Kyo.” “Oh, I forgot” ↴ “Oh, I forgot…[Same principle as previously discussed]” ↴ “Oh, I forgot…” “You are not a man anymore.” ↴ “…You aren’t [Contractions tend to be common in speech] a man anymore.” ↴ “...You aren’t a man anymore.” “Look at you just nude and helpless girl” ↴ “Look at you{, / : / ;} [You’ve got choices! I’d suggest just using a comma, but if you’re feeling fancy, you could use a colon. Or a semicolon if you really wanted to for some reason] just a [We’re talking about an instance, so we need an “a”] nude and helpless girl.” ↴ “Look at you{, / : / ;} just a nude and helpless girl.” “It suit you well Kyo.” ↴ “It suits [Simple present because of the pronoun “it”] you well, [Comma before addressing] Kyo.” ↴ “It suits you well, Kyo.” “With this mark we are forever bound together.” ↴ “With this mark, [Add a comma here. The rule of thumb is if the first/last part could be removed without affecting the rest of the sentence, add a comma (Like here!)] we are forever bound together.” ↴ “With this mark, we are forever bound together.” “Mikoto please I..I..” ↴ “Mikoto, [Comma] please I… I… [Some formatting, which by no means is standardised]” ↴ “Mikoto, please I… I…” “No my little spider. You already know who I am.” ↴ “No, [Comma, we are addressing someone] my little spider. You already know who I am.” ↴ “No, my little spider. You already know who I am.”

Gustavo Tani

Amazing, only way it could be better is if she was touching the navel to mark her and give her "Brother" a womb tattoo~

Stormfries

oh yes brother force transformed in sister spider girl😄

Pascal

cool

Arbiter

Are they looking for more little sisters? Just inquiring for... someone else

Jaegar Media

Try not to push yourself too hard, you don't have to feel like you're obligated on something if you can't necessarily reach it on time as I've said. I still stress on things even though i'm not supposed to because of my psoriasis so I know how it feels.