SXD: Issei Remembers Everything (Patreon)

The apartment was quiet at night. Moonlight slipped through the curtains, pale and silver, tracing gentle lines across the bed.

Weiss slept curled against Issei’s side, one arm tucked beneath her chin, the other resting loosely across his chest. Her breathing was slow and steady now, the tension of the day finally released. She looked peaceful.

Issei didn’t dare move much. His hand rested lightly on her stomach, almost reverently, as if afraid that pressing too hard might break something precious. There was nothing to feel yet—no kick or movement, but he swore he could sense it. A feeling of a presence growing.

‘I’m going to be a father.’ The thought hit him all at once as it crashed into him like a truck. His chest tightened and his breath was caught. His heart began to pound, not with excitement this time, but with something heavier and colder. Memories flooded him in a violent rush, various battles he had fought. Devils. Dragons. Gods. Ddraig’s voice roaring with laughter and fury alike. The past he had lost came screaming back into place. Issei squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Damn it…’

During the morning he went with Sun to spar and through that spar, Sun was luckily able to land a heavy blow to his head and that was all it took causing him to remember who he was. What he was. And worse, what he’d left behind.

‘The girls. His peerage. The war. That bastard I went to stop.  Two years… it’s been two damn years.’ His grip tightened on the blanket. ‘How am I going to explain this to Weiss?’ The questions spiraled fast, merciless. ‘Should I leave? Can I leave? What happens when she finds out I’m a Devil and a Dragon? What if she looks at me differently? What if she’s disgusted? What if she hates me?’ His jaw clenched. ‘Damn that God.’

If Ddraig hadn’t been sealed during that fight, if he hadn’t been silenced and trapped, none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have lost his memories. He wouldn’t have built a life on half a truth. And now, his gaze dropped to Weiss’s stomach. ‘Now I got her pregnant.’ A bitter, disbelieving laugh almost escaped him.

‘Me. The guy who spent most of his life obsessed with boobs. The guy who charged into battles without thinking. The guy who still barely understood how taxes worked. How the hell am I supposed to raise a kid?’ Fear coiled in his chest, tight and suffocating. ‘What if I screw them up? What if they grow up broken because of me? What if I fail Weiss?’ The thoughts wouldn’t stop. ‘What if—’

Issei carefully shifted, easing Weiss’s arm from his chest without waking her. She murmured softly in her sleep, brows knitting for just a second, and he froze until she settled again. “I’m sorry,” He whispered, so quietly it barely existed.

He slipped out of bed and padded toward the balcony, the cool tile biting against his bare feet, he thought maybe some cool air may help him. The glass door slid open with a faint sound, and the cold night air rushed in, sharp and unforgiving. 

It didn’t help. If anything, it made everything worse. Issei stepped out onto the balcony, gripping the railing as he leaned forward, breathing hard. The city lights below blurred as his vision swam.

‘What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail them both?’ He dragged a hand through his hair, fingers curling until his knuckles hurt. ‘I can’t abandon her. I won’t abandon her.’ Not after everything. Not after choosing this life. Not after loving Weiss Schnee, truly loving her. What should I do?’ He thought desperately. 

“…Issei.” The voice was soft.

He stiffened instantly, heart lurching, and turned around.

Weiss stood in the doorway, wrapped in one of his shirts, arms crossed giving him a knowing look. The one that saw straight through him. Her pale hair fell loose around her shoulders, eyes sharp even through the haze of sleep. “…What’s wrong?” She asked quietly.

Issei swallowed and looked away, jaw tightening. “Nothing.” The lie tasted wrong the moment it left his mouth.

Weiss stepped closer, bare feet silent against the floor. “We both know that’s a lie.” She stopped in front of him, gaze unwavering. “Talk to me.”

Panic flared again but he couldn’t do it. Not yet. Not all of it. The truth felt too big, too dangerous to drop on her all at once. So he went for the easiest truth. And somehow at the same time, the hardest one. “…Weiss,” he said, voice rough, rubbing his face. “What if I screw this up?”

She blinked. “Screw what up?”

He gestured vaguely between them, toward the bed, toward the future. “This. The whole… dad thing. What if I’m bad at it? What if I don’t know what I’m doing? What if I mess them up? What if—”

Weiss grabbed his hand, firm and certain, causing the spiral to stop instantly. She squeezed his fingers, forcing him to meet her eyes. “Issei. You’re an idiot.”

He blinked. “Uh—”

“But you’re an honest idiot,” she continued, her voice softening. “You care. You worry. You love with everything you have. And that’s what’s going to make you a great father.”

His throat tightened. “But—”

“No buts.” She reached up, cupping his face, thumbs brushing his cheeks. “Do you love this child already?”

He didn’t hesitate, not even for a heartbeat. “Of course I do.”

Her lips curved into a small, confident smirk. “Then you’ll be fine.”

She leaned closer, forehead touching his. “Besides, you have me. So there’s no way you’re messing this up.”

A weak, breathless chuckle escaped him. “That’s true. You’re way smarter than me.”

“Obviously,” she replied dryly, then softened, pulling him into her arms.

Issei exhaled, tension draining from his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her like she was his whole world. “…Thanks, Weiss.”

She huffed quietly against his chest. “I’m not letting you doubt yourself, Issei. Our child is going to have a father and mother who loves them more than anything. And that’s what matters.”

He closed his eyes, pressing his cheek into her hair. Maybe he was scared, terrified, even. But with Weiss here, maybe… just maybe… he really could do this. And as he held her, another realization settled in, calmer this time. ‘Everything else can wait.’ Right now, Weiss mattered more. Their child mattered more. And for the first time since his memories returned, Issei allowed himself a small, determined thought. ‘I can finally free him.I can finally talk to my best friend again.' Somewhere deep within, behind a blasted seal, Ddraig waited long enough.