begrudging productivity (Patreon)

me: ugggh i don't really want to go write, but i know i should
cass: just go, try for an hour, stop if it doesn't work. we can use this as a litmus test for future cases where you feel like that
me: uggggggghhhhh fine

so anyway i wrote another 2.1k.
that's the merit of this approach, i guess.
i just have to get myself in the room.

with regards to my reticence, i find that going over things i've already written in the other format (i.e when cass and i were treating this as something like a 1 person dnd campaign) is particularly demotivating as a prospect,
until i'm able to expand on them.
so like when i was rewrting some linear action into the game-readable format, i was not really enjoying it, but when i was able to branch off of it, it became a lot more enjoyable.
like, cass and i played through this and it happened one way. writing that one way again isn't very fun, but writing the alternatives is much more enjoyable.
maybe that's a "duh" moment, but it's the observation i make to contrast against the sense of demotivation i had earlier.

then there's the reverse-- what if the alternatives i have to write are, like, stupid?
i am finding there are many points at which i feel it is important to give the player the choice to interact with the content, but then that also means giving them the choice to not interact, and that entails writing an exit where nothing happens, and then writing a re-entry for in case they return to whatever they declined to participate in before
and that's just boring and sucks.
not really sure how to change that,
especially since if it's boring for me to write, it's definitely going to be boring to read.
but i don't want to just lock out swaths of content because someone wanted to fuck off for a moment first or something
so idk, we'll see how that ends up working out.

might accept a break tomorrow and see if that changes my pre-writing feeling.
(mentally: ame, didn't you just take a break?
oh, no, that was the better part of a week ago already.)

c: i think we can figure this one out. nice of ame to let me talk today! but idk what i have to say.