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Here's your Sunday delivery :) Definitely would appreciate your feedback after this one.

Thanks,

Plum

52 – What Comes Next

Britt looked past Hector into the motel room, but shook her head. “Can we get something to eat? I’m starved.”

Hector glanced at his clock again, even though he knew it wasn’t even six-thirty yet, and he nodded. “Yeah.”

“I have my car.”

Hector grabbed his bag, then followed her down to the parking lot where her little car sat waiting. As they climbed in, Britt said, “Logan dropped me off at my car this morning. Prick hardly said a word as we drove up to Tent Town. I was asking him about you—what happened, if you were okay, all that stuff. It wasn’t until I got out of his cruiser that he said to come here—that you were waiting.”

“Power trip.” Hector shrugged.

“Well, I guess I owe him.” She shrugged. “Even if his ego is as big as that pit out there.” She nodded toward the distant mine tailings.

She glanced at him, and Hector threw her a crooked smile, nodding. As she put the car into motion, she said, “Can you tell me about it? I mean, like, did you get hurt or anything? Did he suffer? How about his mercs?”

Hector closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. He didn’t like how she was talking about what he’d done so openly, but then, they’d been through a lot and she didn’t have any reason to think there was anyone listening—not anymore. His paranoia about Janus and the PK apparently wasn’t something she shared. He wasn’t a verbose person in general, which added to his reticence; still, he wanted her to feel like she and Paul had gotten their justice. “He died terrified.”

Britt nodded, clenching her fist and bouncing it on her knee as she looked out the window. “Why don’t I feel better?”

“Because Paul’s still dead.”

She looked at him sharply, but she wasn’t upset—not at him. She nodded. “Yeah, I guess that’s it.”

Her car drove to a little diner not far from his motel, and they went inside. Hector led the way to a booth and sat down so he could see the door—and the windows facing the lot. It wasn’t that he thought Britt was leading him into a trap, but he wasn’t sure she’d know it if she was being used as bait. After they selected their order on the little terminal, Britt looked at him and said, “I know I owe you. After we eat, I can take you to where I think Paul stashed…whatever it is that caused all this trouble.”

“He made a mess.” Hector instantly regretted the words and added, “I hope it wasn’t just greed.”

“You didn’t get any answers from—” Maybe Hector’s paranoia was contagious because she shook her head and finished with, “—you know who?”

“Nope.” Hector didn’t feel like she needed to know Tacitianus killed Paul over some unknown auction item.

An older woman with a permanently stooped back shuffled over to pour coffee into their cups. She was slow and her apron was stained, but she smiled pleasantly as she said, “Your orders will be right up.”

Hector watched her walk away, then said, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Britt narrowed her eyes, and her jaw clenched, the little muscles leading up to her hairline twitching. “You said you didn’t have a choice about—” She paused, staring pointedly at him, or, more precisely, Paul’s body. “—that.”

“I didn’t, but I still feel like a thief.”

“No. What happened to him was before you were around. I mean, that’s obvious, right? You wouldn’t be sitting here in his body if he hadn’t been killed. What you did—the people you went up against—that’ll put his spirit at ease. He can move on now. I can move on.”

“I hope so.”

Their food arrived, and Hector got to work on his scramble—lots of eggs, cheese, and some kind of protein that tasted appropriately like breakfast sausage. His body needed the nutrients, and he made quick work of his meal. Britt had ordered pancakes, and she slid one of them onto his plate, smiling in a way that made Hector feel even more sorry for her—for her loss.

The whole time they ate, Hector kept half his attention on the window, watching the parking lot and the sidewalk beyond. Nothing he saw raised any suspicions, and when they finished eating and walked out to Britt’s car, he was almost relaxed. She got the vehicle moving and said, “It’s outside of town, past the pit.”

“All right.” He glanced at his clock. “I need to be at the train station in two hours.”

“Won’t be a problem—just a twenty-minute drive.” She sighed, folding her arms as she looked out the window. The town seemed sleepy; he supposed that was because it was—the mine was closed for the day and a lot of the residents had been up late. “What comes next?”

He looked at her, thought about giving her a non-answer, then shrugged and said, “Head back to the city, I guess.”

“Helio?”

It occurred to Hector that she might not know anything about his fights. She surely didn’t know about Sparling’s offer regarding the Tharsis Games. He figured she didn’t need to, either. “Yeah, for now.”

“You know”—she turned away from the window, facing him—“I thought about trying to go with you.” She held up a hand as though she thought he might interrupt, objecting. “There’s nothing much left for me here. I thought, why not? We worked okay together in the rock yard, right?” She didn’t wait for an answer, continuing without pause: “But after a minute of thinking, I knew that wouldn’t work. It’s just too strange. You’re different from Paul, but it still feels like I’m hanging around with his ghost—a ghost that doesn’t remember me, doesn’t remember the life we shared. Paul was with me from my very first memory.”

“I get it.” Hector didn’t get it—not exactly—but he could understand.

“So, let’s, like, handle this last bit of business and, I dunno, we can send each other a travel vid now and then.”

He nodded. “Sounds smart.”

The little car had been steadily driving away from the city, up into the Martian hills, skirting the extensive tailing mounds as it wound its way westward around them. As it turned off the pavement, rumbling down an old gravel road between two hills, Britt gestured to the countryside and said, “Paul and I spent a lot of time exploring out here. He had a dirt bike, and he’d take me along if I begged him enough.”

Hector didn’t reply; what could he say? He just watched the countryside pass by as the road grew rougher and rougher. After a few minutes, the car pulled to a stop. Looking out the window, he saw why: the road had ended—the gravel had become skull-sized rocks. Britt pushed the door open and stepped out, gesturing to a rough path wending between two hills.

“There’s an old tunnel down here. No idea what it was used for. Paul thought it was for storage, or maybe it was exploratory—like they were digging down, looking for where to mine. It’s just a concrete tube in the hillside now, though, nothing but dust and old barrels.”

Hector followed her up the path, their shoes crunching and slipping on the rough terrain. “A good hiding place?”

“Yep. It was like our secret headquarters. We camped up here a lot—hid out when things got bad at home.” She sighed, hopping over a patch of thorny briars. “We haven’t been here in a couple of years. Well, I haven’t. Still, if Paul had something to hide—something he wanted to keep secret…” She trailed off, letting Hector fill in the gaps.

The hike only took a few minutes, but Hector still checked the time nervously. It wasn’t like there was only one train back to Helio, but he wanted to be on the first one; he couldn’t stop worrying about Lemon. The entrance to the old mine—or bunker, whatever it had once been—was sealed by a plasteel door wrapped in chain and padlock. Britt knew the combo on the lock and when she slid the chain out, Hector noted the lack of dust on the lock; someone had been there recently.

She pulled the door wide, throwing a long rectangle of light into a dim, low-ceilinged space. Just as she’d promised, it was nothing but a concrete tube leading about fifty meters into the hillside. No lights worked inside, but Hector’s eye implants made it easy enough to see. Piles of empty wooden pallets lined one wall and barrels full of scrap metal the other. Britt walked past those, aiming straight for an empty barrel near the rear wall.

She didn’t look left or right, eyes fixed on the barrel as she approached. Hector followed, though he stooped to pick up the padlock first. The idea of someone locking him in there didn’t appeal to him. “You weren’t just guessing,” he said, tossing the lock into a barrel of scrap metal as he walked. “You knew it was here.”

Halfway to the barrel, she glanced over her shoulder at him. He thought he saw a guilty look in her eyes, but he didn’t know her well enough to be sure. “He never said exactly, but he dropped me a hint. ‘Remember when Drifter got lost?’ It was something he said in his last message. Drifter was the name I gave my favorite kite. The thing is, it never got lost; he hid it from me in this barrel because I was teasing him about a girl he liked.”

Hector nodded, glancing back at the door. Nothing was there; nothing stirred. Still, he was tense. He felt like a trap was being sprung, and with Britt the only other person around, he shifted his suspicions to her. She approached the barrel, reaching into it almost before she could look at the contents. He imagined a shotgun in there. She wouldn’t, would she?

His nerves got to him so much that he blurted, “Don’t!”

She looked back at him over her shoulder, and the confusion in her eyes said it all: she had no intention of any sort of double-cross. “What?”

Hector took a few more steps toward her, shaking his head. “Just be careful. Would he set a trap?”

Britt snorted, turning back to the barrel. “He would never do something that might hurt me.” She pulled out a soiled drop cloth and tossed it on the ground. Then, as Hector came to stand just behind her, she lifted out a black alloy case. It was about thirty centimeters square with rounded corners and a single handle. She turned to face him, pointing to a green LED near the latch. “I think it’s unlocked.”

Hector nodded, squinting at the case. It looked like it could be the cargo casket Tacitianus had mentioned, though Hector had imagined something bigger. “Is it powered? Vacuum-stasis?”

Britt frowned, turning the box this way and that. “Maybe? It’s heavy. Feels kinda warm.”

“Yeah, I bet it is.” Hector reached for it. “Can I—”

A faint scuffing sound on the concrete behind them killed the words on his tongue, and he spun, ready to dive for cover or to fight, depending on what he saw. He was surprised, but only a little, when a shadow blotted out the light coming through the doorway and the looming, armor-clad figure of a peacekeeper stooped to pass through. When he straightened, significantly taller than the doorway, it was hard to miss the massive blaster gripped in his fist.

“Logan?” Britt said from beside him.

Hector glanced at her. Of course she was right; it had to be Logan. He’d been the one involved in this whole affair, and he wouldn’t send one of his coworkers on this job. Suddenly, a bunch of pieces started falling into place in Hector’s mind, and he scoffed, irritated that he hadn’t seen it coming.

As the PK stomped closer, the blaster barrel firmly on Hector, Britt continued in her incredulous tone. “Did you follow me?”

“Traced you,” Hector said.

Logan’s voice came through the grille of his helmet with a mechanical, slightly amplified edge: “Sorry, Britt. Never wanted it all to work out this way.”

“What are you talking about?” She held up the case. “You wanted this?”

The visor of Logan’s helmet, glowing softly red in the dim light, shifted left to right. “That’s more like a bonus.”

“He’s got career aspirations.” Hector spat to the side. “There’s a magistrate position that just opened up.”

“Smarter than you look, fighter.”

“So?” Britt shrugged. “I don’t care if you apply for that creep’s job.”

Hector sighed. “We’re loose ends. We know—”

Logan continued to advance, halfway to them by then. “You know I helped set up a magistrate’s assassination—not exactly in the Peacekeeper Code.”

Britt stepped forward, past Hector, as though she could make the PK be reasonable if she were just a little closer. “Logan, you did that to save me! I wouldn’t turn you in!”

“Sorry, Britt, but you don’t know how these things work.” As Logan spoke, Hector caught the amber glow of the blaster’s priming coil flickering balefully from the depths of the barrel. If he hadn’t seen it, he would have heard the soft whine—it needed a tune. Still, he knew it was time to move; he grabbed Britt’s jacket collar and yanked, leaping to his right just as the blaster erupted with a zwang and the concrete storage bunker lit up with the brilliant yellow-red glow of the plasma.

Hector heard the clang of the metal case Britt had been holding; he heard her gasp, and he felt the weight of her suddenly lighten, even though he still had hold of her jacket. He knew something terrible had happened even without those clues; he could smell the burned flesh. When he came down from his leap, his feet skidding on the concrete, he glanced at Britt—and realized he was holding only the top half of her torso. The PK’s blaster had ripped her in half.

He jerked his gaze away from Britt’s wide-open, dead eyes, turning to the PK. Cold fury coursed through him, and he felt the Berserker waking up. “You son of a bitch!”

“Should’ve been you both,” Logan replied, his voice grating from the speaker on his helmet. Then his blaster flared again. Hector dove to the side, but Logan chased him with the plasma arc. He felt its heat burn through his pants, scorching his left thigh, then the blast faded and the coils whined as the weapon primed itself again. Hector charged Logan, knowing his life could be measured in fragments of a second.

His wounded leg throbbed, flaring waves of pain through his body with each step. His vision tinted toward red as murder stole the focus of his mind; his body bloomed crimson flames that flowed into his fist, forming a deadly blade; and then he was flying through the air, committed, aiming to sever the PK’s helmeted head from his shoulders.

Logan brought his blaster to bear. He squeezed the trigger, and the weapon made its sizzling zwapping sound, but Hector twisted, and the beam only scorched the flesh off his left shoulder. He drove his Aura Blade with his right arm as he twisted, using the momentum of his dive, but Logan was quick—his speed and agility amplified by his armor just as his strength was. The blade ripped through his armor, cut deeply into his shoulder, and then the PK smashed Hector with a powered punch, sending him flying to crash into several barrels of scrap metal.

Hector’s flesh ripped in a dozen places, torn by the jagged metal cuttings. He felt his right arm snap at the wrist when he hit the concrete, and saw stars and encroaching darkness as his body followed it down, ribs fracturing as the air was driven from his lungs. Maybe the barrels and scrap saved him from an immediate follow-up arc of plasma from the PK’s blaster. He wasn’t sure it mattered, though; he could barely breathe, let alone fight.

Heavy steps, maybe ten meters distant, told him Logan was moving in the wrong direction—away. He heard the whir of the PK’s actuated armor as he stooped, heard the scrape as he picked something off the ground. In his dazed state, Hector thought Logan was looking at Britt, maybe remorseful. When he heard the scrape, though, he thought maybe he was picking something up to throw. Then his head cleared a little, and it clicked. The son of a bitch had picked up the storage case. He was inspecting his loot.

Hector had been dismissed. Britt had been forgotten.

The dark tunnel closing in shifted in hue, flaring red as Hector opened his aura pathways and channeled his Berserk ability.

Comments

Alex

I like the Logan double cross, as it's a good twist with some subtle foreshadowing, but does Britt dying here serve a purpose? Hector has already resolved to move on, so no extra character bloat. Heck, she could even be a hook for a hometown arc in later books. Poor woman deserves some closure and to live the rest of her life. Have her be unconscious and/or wounded if you need her out of the way for the fight, or something.

Omar Jimenez

Idk, this one feels more like fridging than Bree from Andy 3 did. With Bree’s death, she had goals and it wasn’t only Andy that was affected. Britt has nobody. We (the audience) barely know anything about her besides her love for her brother. What did she want out of life? How did losing Paul change her? What would she have done after avenging his death? I couldn’t begin to guess; she never developed enough. And it’s not like Logan’s gonna be around to regret killing her. Only Hector is gonna be impacted here. She was almost free, man. What a senseless, unnecessary death.

Calamari

Yea I thought Lemon was going to get fridged. Even the cop's motivation feels pretty weird.

Plum Parrot

Hmm, well, I'll get into the nuts and bolts of my writing here, if you all want me to. Just don't read ahead if you don't like seeing how the sausage is made. Does Britt's death serve a purpose? Several! One, it makes the reader feel something. Some of you are mad at me, some of you are mad at Logan, but hopefully some of you had a little sinking feeling in your gut as you thought, "Damn, I liked Britt. Couldn't she have had a happy ending?" That was what I was going for, right there. Two, it reminds the reader that this is a dangerous world and there won't be punches pulled for everyone. Even people Hector is actively trying to protect are at risk. Perhaps this will raise the tension (the stakes) as the story progresses. Three, along those same lines, it reminds everyone that this is cyberpunk. (Or at least a dystopian sci-fi with some cyberpunk elements.) Happy endings are hard to find. Four, this will be a pivotal moment in Hector's development. He'll look back at Britt and this loss and it will affect him in various ways. I know sometimes I bend to the readers' will and change my story or elements of it accordingly, but this moment has been part of the plan for a while, and I know you all follow me because you like (at least a little) my writing, so I'm gonna stick to my guns on this one.

Omar Jimenez

This is your story and you have every right to tell it how you want. I only want to explain my viewpoint a little bit more. It just seems to me like Britt had very little agency in the narrative. If it was Lemon getting killed by Jam, or Sass dying in a rift after Hector helped her get an Aura System, I probably wouldn’t feel the same. I would feel their loss more keenly because they are more real to me, more fleshed out than Britt was in the story. I don’t doubt that any death could be used to affect Hector’s path and outlook, and I have faith in you as an author that the story will continue to be good, but the death of a female character expressly for a male character’s emotional development is the definition of fridging, as I understand the term. If she was always gonna die, alright, shit happens. But maybe there’s edits that can be made earlier that flesh her out more?

Plum Parrot

Well TIL what "fridging" means. I always thought it meant to just put someone "on ice" I.E., to get them out of the narrative. That's what happens when you assume, I guess. Well, to be honest, the main reason I wrote Britt's death was because it "felt right" when I was planning out this arc. Does that mean I'm a bad guy cause I "fridged" her? Shit. Now I have to do some introspection. My reasons for why it felt right still stand, the main one being I wanted the reader to feel like the story takes place on a razor's edge. I guess I'm a bad guy? Shit.

Plum Parrot

Okay, Omar, you got me thinking about this, and after researching "fridging" --heh-- I think I have some rebuttals to the concern that I'm doing that to Britt. My main arguments are as follows: 1. Britt is not a romantic interest for Hector. 2. She already completed an emotional arc. You argue she didn't have agency in this story so far, but I disagree. She had a lot of screen time. We got to hear her feelings about Paul on multiple occasions. We got to see her in action fighting against the people who killed Paul. We got to hear her reaction to the resolution of that arc. 3. Her death is part of Logan's action of eliminating witnesses. He claimed he shot her by mistake, but even before that, Hector knew they were BOTH loose ends. 4. The death isn't framed as "fuel for the hero" -- at least not wholly, and it won't be. I said it would affect Hector, and that's still true, but it's not like this death will launch a revenge arc. 5. Britt had agency in this chapter and before it. She was calling the shots on more than one occasion. Anyway, I feel better about myself that I'm not exactly writing caricatures -- I try to write real people.

Omar Jimenez

I’m no judge or moral police, so I can’t say either way. But I haven’t felt this way about any of your other characters’ deaths so far. Old Mother dying undeniably had an effect on Victor’s outlook, but she was also beloved by her tribe. Hell, she was a second mother to Thayla. She had an impact in her community outside of Victor. Yrella was a slave. She was being forced fight in pits for the entertainment of others. She wanted to be free. It didn’t happen. Her death hammered home to Victor how little any of them mattered to their owner. But she died fighting because she wanted to be free. Tony’s girlfriend getting killed before we ever meet him is a terribly emotional experience for him. It changes him, and is a major sticking point in his progression with Addie. But her death didn’t feel cheap. She died because she wanted to live her happily ever after with Tony, free of the blood and murder. Unfortunately for her, Tony’s employer objected. She might have been naive, but she made the choices that got her in that room across from Jen. Britt is only here to die. Her character isn’t really devloped and she made few, if any real choices while she’s around. She didn’t undertake a dangerous mission that got her brother killed. She didn’t help him hide the thing he stole. She was targeted because she was his only relative. Yes, she teams up with Hector to take Tacitianus down, but that’s really all we learn about her. Well that and hearing stories about her and Paul. She dies after everything is mostly settled to a random corrupt cop because Hector pulls her into the line of fire. Honestly, if she jumped in front of the shot, or pushed Hector out of the way, her death would work better. To me at least. Then she would have at least made a choice. On the setting being a knife’s edge. I guess? This is your 10th novel in a sci-if/cyberpunk setting and it’s the first time I felt like any character’s death was pointless, unnecessary, or unearned.

Johnny

I thought it was perfect. Unexpected and jarring the way death often is

Plum Parrot

I don't think you're being fair, or maybe a lot of her involvement in the story has slipped your mind, but Britt had a large piece of this arc. She and Hector had more than one long conversation in which her motivations and desire for revenge were made clear. She bailed Hector out with the aura fiend (shotgun.) She drove them to the rock yard. She killed more than one merc. She took them to Tent Town. She left with Logan and tied him to the whole revenge plot. She drove them to where Paul hid the thing that she'd known the location of the whole time. (You remember she withheld that knowledge in exchange for Hector killing all those people, right?) She WAS a loose end and was going to be killed, regardless of Hector's bad timing with the dodge. Would it really make things better for you if I took that part out? To me that wasn't a big plot point; it wasn't important to me if Logan targeted Britt or Hector first, I just thought the frustration of it might make the scene pop more.

Nick Pincus

I think the thing that stands out is britt was "strong" and kill 2 mercs already at this point and was a security person in a violent world. Yes much of her goals and change and action on the world made her power small but I think it's much more about the people vs "government" and less about hectors growth. This whole arc is about abuse of power by the "government" and the small people getting grounded to dust and the only people with power to do something being the shady ethics questionable. (Hector, Janus) Yes britt's story is cut short, yes we feel unforfilled, but britt a normal small person with some power but not powerful in the scope of the world got fucked by a system she put her trust in. The judge fucked her and her brother and she fought back and kind of one but then the peacekeeper she trusted killed her and back stabbed her and Hector. The peacekeeper that is supposed to be some check on society even if shit heads, this is not about Hector in many ways it's about showing us how everyone is corrupt in this system. Hector does not trust the peacekeepers because he does not trust the people watching them from above but this is kinda proof that the PKs them selfs are just as much of a problem as the system they are proping up. When you add in the PK from earlier that was nice to Hector and just let him off with a worning we saw that the "low levels" might be ok and trustable but this proves how much of an anomaly that was. Cyber punk is often about faceless corporate greed and little guys trying to get by mostly but "illegal" actions as they have no other choice and corporate backstabbing. This arc shows keeping your head down and existing as a middle power with a stable job and little corruption is not protected from the top and just as much at risk as the bottom.

Misatek

I liked this well enough and I'm not sure why you're so worried. I'm pretty new here but has there been a lot of negative feedback when characters die? I agree with all your reasoning and the only note I had about the chapter was that the discussion in the car felt a bit like a death flag, but that might just have been because I paid extra attention due to you asking for feedback in the foreword. Regardless, in these types of high stakes stories (especially considering the dystopian angle) characters need to die or the action will eventually start lacking weight. As long as everyone around hector that he starts to care about don't don't die just to serve as motivation for him then I'm fine. If anything this death might even *lack* a bit of the meaning you might be looking for because they seem to be closing out their relationship anyway. I know that is a bit cold but as a reader you start to move on a little before the death happens, which might not be beneficial. Some losses need to happen. I think you worry too much, you're doing great!

Draeysine

While I like this chapter overall, I sort of agree with Omar's characterization of Britt in the narrative. While she is Hector's primary lead throughout the arc, she is almost exclusively defined by being the Sister of Paul, and with nothing left to explore about Paul at the conclusion of the arc, this feels like squeezing one last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. No need to keep this character around because Paul's story is over and has served its use, and so she in turn has served her use. Maybe it's because she never truly talked about anything but Paul, or her revenge for Paul, or the differences between Hector and Paul, or things of that nature. Her character is active and alive, but it is entirely confined to its relation to Paul and thus Hector. Her death, to me, did not hit hard, but felt very much like someone tying off this end of the narrative so that we can move forward in the story. This arc feels like a tutorial level in a video game, where the shady nature and mystery around Hector's body should be resolved first before you get into the real story, and this ending of Britt in the narrative sort of fuels that further. Edits in previous chapters could resolve some of this. Show her in more than one light, have her truly bond with Hector, make her someone more than Paul's Sister, and you can have your cake and eat it too. Or leave her alive as someone who still knows that Hector is a ghost but separate from everyone else. You may find more narrative options open up with her alive than dead. Shit, you could have her be severely injured, or go off somewhere else and not stay in this backwater.

Verbomancer

I'm going to disagree with the people criticizing this death, particularly as "fridging", given that Hector's motivations are entirely independent of this event, and are unlikely to be significantly changed by it. To me, it was sad, cold, pointless, and ultimately driven by greed, which is very on theme for the story and cyberpunk as a whole.

Gio

Just fyi, I'm fine with you killing off characters; to me, this story is about Hector, the vengeful pragmatist. Not Hector, the friend collector.

Lauren

I like this plot twist. I think this book is great so far. Thanks for the chapter!

Alex

I will second this. Plum shared their points and they are valid, and I don't think this is fridging, either. I'm happy to continue reading the story and give Plum a gold star for evoking the exact emotions desired. :)

SomeGuy

A happy ending? For folks like us? Wrong planet, wrong people.

CallMeTee

Honestly, it's not the death of Britt that bothered me, but how it happened. It feels like a rug pull fridging, a surprise gut punch that mostly fell flat for me. Part of it is that it felt obvious - too many death flags up front. A good resolution in this world? No way. Part of it was Hector being so paranoid. No way you'd mention it so many times if nothing was going to happen. But the part of it that felt weird is that Britt was supposed to be fairly competent. She already got sidelined once and disappeared for basically half of the brother avenging arc, and then she's taken out seconds into this fight. I think if she was able to do something first, the death would land better. Right now, I don't feel sad or surprised by her death. I don't feel much of anything about it other than "what a waste of screen time". Lemon is already basically a damsel in distress. Did we need another helpless lady for Hector's motivation? Other than that, I enjoyed the chapter and I'm still enjoying the book, but this death felt pretty flat to me.

Bereftreader

Tbh I always figured she was gonna die at the end of this mini arc. Her death here did feel pretty quick and dirty, but less so in the sense that I blame the author and moreso in I blame the mc. Dude’s been waiting for the other shoe to drop ever since the assassination, but he keeps bebopping around like everything is fine. Idk, I feel like he could have actually taken some precautions here. But overall I suppose it makes sense. Shit goes sideways, even for our intrepid hero. I mean he did already die once. Might as well die twice I guess lol.

Verbomancer

Just to comment on the topic of this particular trope, I have an issue with people characterizing a death as "Fridging" in cyberpunk the way they would in the genre where the trope was coined (superhero fiction) due to a lack of character agency, because lack of agency is a strong central theme of the entire cyberpunk genre. The trope itself is a valid criticism of some authors' treatment of female characters, but to apply it equally across genres is a bit reductive.

Reno

Well if it's a choice between Brit and Lemon dying to set the tone of the story, I'd rather Lemon live a while longer I kinda like that there wasn't too much setup for this death. Brit was a minor character. Dunno what that whole complaint about "frigging" is about.. Characters die, and if they die it should be primarily to change the outlook of other characters or to set up other plot points. Her death may yet serve a narrative purpose and I trust the Plum. I don't want her fleshed out more only for her to still die. Developing Brit further only to still kill her feels like it would have been a waste of chapters. The only thing that makes me feel slightly sad is that I felt that she had some potential in the story. Distant not-sister with an odd treasure. But it's still the beginning of the story and I'm not going to miss every minor character. Logan (?) better die though.

Reno

Not every death has to hit me hard, as a reader. I don't get that complaint at all. It won't hit Hector too hard either. A little for a few days, but he'll hopefully learn to be more paranoid.

Reno

How else could Hector loot the priceless mystery box when it's clearly owned by a woman he didn't want to see again?

DM

Logan! You jerk!

Leveticus

Holy shit, that was brutal! I really like the emotional impact of making us care about the sister only to have her torn in half. However, a couple details about this scene feels off. First, it really felt like Hector was a spectator for far too long before the fight. With his experience and killer instincts, he should have sensed the threat and acted immediately. I mean, what was the point of all his paranoiad vigilance if he was just going to let Logan make the first move? Hector is definitely the kind of guy who skips the cutscene and goes straight to combat. Also, I’m totally not buying how Logan kicked Hector’s ass and probably had him dead to rights. I had the impression the dude was basically a street cop. It was established earlier that Hector hadn’t dealt with PKs much because they operated at a much lower level. Near the start of the story, he even tossed one like a rag doll while evading a whole squad of them. But now we find out they suddenly have amazing power armor and plasma guns?? If that was the case, people would treat PKs more like Judge Dredd instead of guys who mostly just stand around checking IDs. I actually like this take, but it’s missing from the rest of the story. No one seemed afraid of these guys, at least not for their combat prowess. If it’s just Logan, then I don’t remember a single description noting how he was a PK elite and kitted out differently. An alternate approach would be to have Britt naively rush towards Logan while Hector is shocked and distracted by whatever shiny MacGuffin is in the case. This would make her death before Hector could intervene more realistic. Then have the plasma gun overload so its devastating lethality is no longer a factor. The death could trigger one of Hector’s fugue state memories where he sees one of the children or Esme dead, allowing Logan to beat the shit out of him and feel justified in leaving him for dead while he goes to grab the case. End scene with Hector coming back to reality and ready to berserk, basically the same as it is now. Any way, now I really expect Lemon to be dead after being lured into making a snuff film or something. At least it would make for a pretty cool detective/revenge arc.