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The Gang Goes to Traffic Court in Palmyra, MO (Patreon)

Published:
2023-12-27 16:29:55
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

On December 11th, Eliza was told that a warrant would be out for her arrest if she did not appear in traffic court in Palmyra, MO the next day. This episode is an immersive account of her travels, her hearing, and the many complications that befell her on the journey to innocence. A special shoutout to binchies Sarah, Sadie, Marta, and Natalie AKA the Coquette Court Entourage

Comments

Kirsten Drehobl

Had a dream there was a new episode.. just opened patreon to “uploaded 24 seconds ago” lol

via

I’ve been waiting for this one

Rosabelle Mejia

Cannot wait to listen to your harrowing account

Hannah Sorenson

about to board a flight absolute DREAM notification

Chloe Starr

wake up honey eliza flew to missouri for "the bit"

cyansims

this is going to make me get out of bed and finally clean my room lol

HG

Eliza commits to the bit 👏

Paloma Ocola

about to finally have my girlie alone day after the emotional work of a family holiday ugh best timing

Sophia H

Never clicked an episode notification faster

madeline

Omg literally listening to your backlog and then NEW SURPRISE EPISODE?!?!?

Gabriela Kauffman

as someone who has also been a victim of MO traffic courts i cannot wait to listen

meyla

WE ARE SO FED

Sara Davila

Dropping this right before my flight is the best present I could have received thank u binchies ily 🫶

bia

THANK YOU

Martha

Was about to do my hair and was in DESPERATE need to listen to something! Definitely linnnnssssing immediately! ❤️❤️❤️

aiyla east

I WAS JUST LISTENING TO THE ARCHIVES YAY

norah

yasssss

ali j

lets GO

Madeline Cohen

Literally have never clicked into an episode faster. Now THIS is content

tj

jack kerouac was boring as fuck and it’s about TIME someone said it!!!!

Kaitlin

The fact that I live an hour from Palmyra 😭😭😭 crying

rylynn davis

oh we are eating soooo good today

Kaitlin
>>125491224

I didn’t even see the stories LMAOOOO but my husband had Covid that day and we didn’t realize it so it was probably for the best I didn’t go 😭😭 devastated come back on tour pls

Olivia T

Everybody in these comments is about to board a flight and listening to the backlog and I am one of them 🫡 incredible timing

Sophia MacLean

Okay but the song Palmyra by Houndmouth???? Never thought I’d hear of that town in any other context and this ep has somehow surpassed that incredible song on my scale of Palmyra-lore

dani

as someone whos top song of the year was dumbest girl alive this opening really alarmed me in a good way

Milan Curtis

been waiting with bated breath for this

avvsies

The baby is napping and I’m linsingggg as I eat my breakfast. FED

Lydia

Omg the 100 gecs lmao

Bailey

So are y’all like….. apolitical now?

slizzarddd

Okayyy I’m a professional public radio podcast producer and this episode is GIVING This American Life (Also plz let me edit your episodes)

sarah keely

my FEATUREEEEEEEE love u Eliza I will always cherish our little ciggy together

Ryn C

About ACOTAR, trust and believe, shit gets weird and a lot of it is not explained until book 2. Have I hate listened to these books? Yes many times because the audiobook narrator slays so hard unfortunately

tori
>>125497672

i haven’t listened yet but i saw her instagram stories documenting it. while that’s an aspect of this situation that there could be an interesting conversation about, i don’t think that eliza needs to be shamed for making light of an unexpected turn of events which i’m sure were also frightening for her. i get where you’re coming from, but i feel like it’s kind of unnecessary to be genuinely upset over

Ailis Reavey

driving through missouri as i listen ❤️

meyla

it’s the way that i got a criminal speeding ticket in AZ in early 2021 when the courts were closed bc of covid and I ALSO had to fly back because the judge was getting so mad at me 😭 it was my first offense ever and i bawled my eyes out and wrote an entire speech so I did get out of it thank GAWD

annie

for your next bad book club I think you should read the Selection series - teen romance hunger games ripoff with truly hilarious attempts at a political message

soph

omg gecs‼️❤️

sis and bub
>>125497672

“A lot of people didn't wake up this morning at all and the only "coffee" they get is the bullets from the gun that shot them dead because they live in a war zone, but I'm glad you're able to enjoy your mornings”

Jasmine Danielle

Palmyra is 20 minutes away from me rn lol definitely didn't expect that small town in the episode name

M

Eliza what is this intro 🫣🤣

Caitlin

the way i flew into the saint louis airport just after u left eliza😭😭 a missed opportunity of joint slayage

Becca

Not you going to traffic court on my 21st birthday 😍

Tiff

The woman on the phone who said you didn’t need to come was so sweet aw

Christia

The song that you’ve been singing is locked away feat. Adam Levine!!

Marissa Zaragoza

The way I ran to see what happened 🏃🏽‍♂️

shae

the phone call is sending me

Soph

not admitting fault over the phone i’m dyingggg

Krissy Simard

So much slaying from the lady at the lawyer's office, so much kiki'ing at the end😭

Meri

LMAO i thought patreon was broken with the 100 gecs intro

Krissy Simard

Also second comment BUT I SCREAMED when you said acotar gagged you I'm crying ahahahahah

Kay

This episode has it ALL a TWIST and a surprise Julia appearance

darian vi

eliza this was lowkey EXCELLENT journalistic storytelling. v detailed and you brought us along your journey. more of this!!!

Lydia

LOVE bojack horseman ive found i can only watch cartoons or else im not stimulated enough by bright colors and shapes

Emma

IOWA CITY BINCHES RISE!!!!

Sal

Correction Eliza (lol!!! Hate that I said that) but I AM AN IG FOLLOWER AND BINCHIE AND A LAWYER!!!! I messaged you during it but I don’t think you saw it!!! But I’m not licensed in MO but still need to inform you that you have lawyers in the binchie community!!! So glad it all worked out ❤️❤️❤️

Jordan L

Yes ladies ACOTAR is actually not terrible 🥲

Hannah B

As a Missouri binchie, the queen lawyer you talked to on the phone is soooo Missouri coded, I loved her. This was the funniest fucking episode ever btw

Hannah B

This American life who?

mia bizzotto

smoking a zoink while listening and really feeling like i’m right there with u miss eliza

Emma Lucy

you may be gagged by a court of thorns and roses now, but trust me, the other into the series you get the more you will understand how many deep issues are in that series

brigitte

eliza can u pls do an episode on how u went from having a disorganized/avoidant attachment to being in a stable ltr. need help lol

Nicole

hearing 100 gecs at the start of the episode sold it for me

Skye Ford

mizzou binchies screamed

matheson
>>125498840

book 2 definitely brings it to a better place but the fantasy of it all is definitely still goofy

Louise Duncan

Okay Eliza Glass, this American life vibes !!!!!! Sllllaaaayyyyyy

matheson
>>125497672

bad things can’t happen to you because worse things happen to marginalized groups :// you heard it here first

matheson
>>125494479

you ever see that tweet like “you can’t say anything on twitter. you can say you don’t like pancakes and someone will be like ‘YOU HATE WAFFLES?’ bitch that’s a whole new sentence”

Ryn C
>>125498840

In some ways book 2 is better depending on what you’re looking for in a goofy faerie series, but I cannot get over how fans of the book uphold Rhys as some kind of feminist king

Catie

She gagged you a bit with the ‘well you were driving through too fast’

Sloan

The intro has me gagged

Sarah

I need to know the restaurant. Should I assume Cracker Barrel round 2?

paige

i’m living for this episode as a st. louis binchie who also has family in that area of MO

maria browne

your lawyer is such good craic

abigail jackson

there’s nothing i love more than a good bit, but the 100 gecs at the beginning had me 🧎‍♀️

Meredith Floyd

the way i gasped when i heard julia’s voice hello queen

Rachel

Sleepy Nyquil Julia is my new fav Julia

holly

wait i’m late to the party but i also got pulled over in palmyra (on my way to mormon teen camp called EFY “especially for youth” gag) .. my (filipino) friend was driving and the cop legit admitted he pulled us over because it was a brown man driving two white girls (and there happened to be a baby car seat in the car too so he thought it was a .. kidnapping? robbery? idk) he said it was because we were “tailgating” (on the highway.. in traffic.. ok) and wanted to make sure us white ladies were ok. we were only 16/17 (and i was in my smooth brain devout mormon phase) so we didn’t really fight back but acab especially palmyra cops!!!

Jellybean

Why do you two refuse to speak up on Palestine? Extremely disappointing from a “leftist” podcast that claims to care about uplifting oppressed people… you were extremely vocal about Iran but now you’re silent. 21,000 people have been killed. 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

matheson
>>125572386

i found the books enjoyable but definitely not masterpieces. would love to hear why you find them aggravating though

Olivia Brown

Please still cover ACOTAR it doesn’t have to be bad!!!

Alyza
>>125575478

they vocalized support for Palestine in the episode spiritual materialism is my roman empire

Jellybean
>>125575478

Yeah the one from over a month ago where they briefly touched on it? The genocide is ongoing and thousands more have been killed since then… they have a platform and they should use it, there are still many many people that can be saved. Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Rylee

queen I always forget you guys are younger than me and when I heard Eliza call herself 22 my blood felt GERIATRIC

jeen
>>125575478

yeah i love the girlies but i rly think they could afford to speak up more about it at least a little bit :/ i understand being worried about accidentally spreading misinformation because that is a genuine issue…its also the thought and act of merely showing support that counts💔

Carlee Bryant

PLZZZZZ STILL COVER ACOTAR!!!!! I have to hear your thoughts

Emily

Needed a serotonin boost so came back to this and skipped to 21:36 just to listen to you kiki with the queen at the lawyers office

Jane Mather-Glass

the woman from the lawyers office!!! i’m grinning like a weirdo at the gym i love her so much

Julianna

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

J P
>>125575478

it would be inauthentic to act like their lives are constantly filled with fighting against the genocide. Because they arent. Comments like this are how people get burnt out on information intake and its not productive or realistic to complain about creators who are just continuing to make genuine content about their lives. Plus they have commented, multiple times…

taylorslikeumwife
>>125572386

I just see it as a fun trashy romance book. I don’t think anyone thinks it’s a masterpiece but it just got so much hype on tiktok from the book girls.

Raven Makenzie
>>125572386

There are def ppl that think it’s the pinnacle of fantasy! but I didn’t know it was a silly little book when I picked it up, so I was shocked when I read it

Jaelyn Wratchford

wait why is eliza going to west virginia after missouri??!!!

baby.yogurt

Listening to the recorded social interactions with the lady on the phone, the waitress, and the lady at the court house desk made my anxiety flare so severely….didn’t know I could experience second hand social anxiety in this manner. god bless

baby.yogurt
>>125513163

yess. I think why she’s so good at “turning her life into content” as Julia put it lol is bc she’s such a good ass storyteller

Jellybean
>>125575478

Yeah they don’t need to act like their lives are completely filled with fighting against genocide I definitely agree with you on that, but that’s not the entire podcast, much of it is about social justice and peoples rights ! they’ve been extremely vocal about women in Iran, lgbtq rights, workers rights, children’s rights etc, and it feels like they’re turning a blind eye to mass murder of women and children on the pod. It’s dissapointing :/

lola bolado

was the incredibly gay flight attendant my uncle? and do you mean dulles airport like virginia?? i'm from that area :P

Anna Pagliarulo

300 gecs as the intro was both wonderful and jarring

jordan

the way that I had to screenrecord Eliza’s stories to send them to my bestie binchie that deleted instagram for her mental health (many such cases) oh I have been WAITING for this one !

Sophie Wilson
>>125575478

These women emphasize that they are not experts on every matter and do not pretend to be. I completely understand them not wanting to go in-depth about a current event that they do not feel fully knowledgeable about. They have raised awareness on the podcast and on their own social media. I don’t feel it’s our place to demand specific content from them.

Madison Williams

listening to this in the st.louis airport queen

Katie Currie
>>125575478

A patreon comment is “how people get burnt out on information intake”… This is an ongoing and worsening genocide that needs acknowledged more than once and if just a comment saying that is enough to make you burnt out you seriously need to reflect

Caroline Wisell

PLS do the court of thorns and roses book club as i have been SUFFERING greatly through this book solely for that purpose

glennan

the intro sksksksksks 😭😭

matheson
>>125518518

don’t get me wrong i fully binged the series (except for acosf) but try explaining the plot to someone who doesn’t read/isn’t into fantasy. truly humbling

jeen

julia and i being sick on nyquil at the same time ugh our minds

Maddie G

currently listening and having a giggle at the montreal airport

bee

ACOTAR doesn't get crazy until the 2nd book sorry to say 😭

Grace Dolan

If I could have aaannyyone in my corner in Palmyra, MO it would be Ms. Alice the Lawyer™️ 💖

Elizabeth

Release the (ACOTAR) tapes

Luteal Swan

all cops are bastards but some cops are sexi unfortunately. Also there’s travel pillows at Marshall’s for like 10 dollars

Rachel Diazena

Eliza this was funny and iconic but also unrelated what are the comfy thongs that u recommend lmfao

Lulu Wilson

The way she dragged my California speed demon self

vendela

the way i celebrated aloud when eliza said a court of thorns and roses is actually good because im scared to have an opinion different than theeee binstresses

Lily Stein

this is so cute 😭😭😭 you @ lunch w the binchies ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️❤️‍🩹

Sam Hanelt

julia appearing right at the end having no clue what’s happened,,,,, that’s CINEMA

Lizzy Sommer

Loving the experiential pod + gecs 10/10 work

Ondine

just finished the first ACOTAR and it was kinda good…def some strange things to talk abt tho

Katie Kuo

This episode was hilarious!! I love the editing and the new special intro was an extra perfect sprinkle of silliness

syd

perfect bonus episode. more casual fun and doing things for the hehe on patreon in 2024 please. thanks for putting me on "dumbest girl alive."

Lindsey Di Silvestri

does anyone else feel like this whole ep was wildly out of touch? like i’m sorry white girl with stable income romanticising going to court … the whole thing just feels so off

Talia Rowan

about to take a red eye from the west to East coast xoxo thinking about u Queen

J P
>>125575478

thank you katie i see how you are more moral than i 🍪

Siena

shoutout to the binchie who goes to mizzou!! i graduated in 2021 :)

Lily
>>125497672

Some of you guys are just mean in these replies. I enjoyed this episode but I still think the OP of this comment has a real point....why can't she share her opinion without ppl telling her to log off and sending her a better help link?? This Patreon comment section has become such a mess

Francesca Schneider
>>125975077

exactly , and saying this doesn’t mean eliza is a bad person or that everything about the episode is wrong, just that it can be considered a bit insensitive to go to court “for the plot” while it can be a traumatizing and violent experience for others.

Paola, Maya, & Jessi

Eliza and Julia you MUST read the first two ACOTAR books plsss, the real plot doesn't start until the second book

Ellen Reynolds

Hi can I be friends w the Iowa City Binchies? I’m near there!!

Sam Haimowitz

omg Max cohosting !!! heyy slay!

Sam Haimowitz

JULIA!!!!!!! 😭 the best kind of jumpscare

Megan Lubey

Listening and was convinced to pay my speeding ticket that was due today.... Thanks queen

Sarah
>>125975077

key phrase is "for others". it didn't happen to others, it happened to her, and she can't account for everyone else's circumstances and experiences.

Liz

STL AND MO girlies ✨✨✨🫢

mimi

the Binchtopia infighting is going crazzzy lately like...

Anna Story

opening with dumbest girl alive INSPIRED

Dayna Lingard

please what does choquette mean 😩 it’s my street name

Lily
>>125975077

Right! like I'm sorry but ppl get so mad in these comments whenever someone who is not white makes an incredibly gentle criticism of two podcasters that none of us know personally

Lindsey Di Silvestri
>>125975077

fr!! same thing on the subreddit, i’ll see critiques worded as absolutely delicately as they possibly can and ppl will respond like “well why don’t you just stfu and go make a hate page” or generally respond with the most hateful comment as if it is the appropriate tone in response to a very valid criticism. Especially considering the bias and privilege eliza and julia inherently have you would think this community would be open for BIPOC to fill in the gaps/speak out about their lives experience. it’s so disappointing

G
>>125975077

Maybe if this was about a violent crime or something, but she’s going for TRAFFIC court which is a fairly common experience

Morgan Freeburg
>>125975077

Babe I went to traffic court at 14 for accidentally totaling my sisters car. It’s not a traumatic experience lmfaooo. It’s not criminal court.

Alaina Crowell

me when i was arrested twice in one month at 20

Ray Maxwell

I got a misdemeanor for trespassing when I had been 18 for FOUR days. And my four 17 year old friends got nothing :D

Julianna Landis

Referring back to this bc I got a speeding ticket in South Dakota last week 🙂‍↕️

Skyrim

when did the girly pops stop tagging bonus episodes as such