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In the first episode of the New Year, the girlies investigate a cultural concept that plagues us all in the new year: The Makeover. From the transformative promise of the American Dream to hit shows like What Not to Wear and The Biggest Loser, they discuss how “the makeover” seeks to ease cultural anxieties, reify the status quo, and affirm that changing ones appearance can change ones life. Digressions include one listener who found Eliza’s twin at the Margaritaville restaurant in Orlando, another who hears our voices in their schizoaffective delusion, and the world’s need for a one dance. 

SOURCES:

Eliza

Julia

Comments

jaden.edu

bless you queens hope yall had restful holidays

Jay Ess

happy new years slay

Franki

everybody moved

libby

ok mama let’s research

Kira

i took a screenshot at the exact moment this episode notification came up and thought i had psychically conjured it

Sofia

girls i’ve been going crazy without new eps this winter break… but hope you are well rested and relaxed

Tori D

how was i literally thinking 2 min ago i wish i had a new binchtopia ep to listen to tonight. and now here she is!

A

Hi binchiess I have 2 tickets to eliza’s march 29 boston show that I sadly can no longer make :( for just under presale price including fees I paid = $30 each!! DM me on ig @_angelalian if u r interested🧘🏻‍♀️

Nia Montgomery

thank you for this. i am not motivated to complete my to do list

Jamesy

YAAAAAAAS I’ve missed y’all

Thomas Pham

Gypse Rose Blanchard podcast omggg

yes

kind of jealous the schizoaffective binchie got free bonus eps all december …

Emily

Simply nothing more unhinged than a mid-2000s British makeover show

Emily mckeithen

make all the boy moose go whaaaaaaaaaa 👐🏻

stella

i will say the sleepy girl mock tail does work HOWEVER the magnesium is giving me insane dreams. had a dream that i was dating jeremy allen white 😔💔

jules!

been chomping at the bit for binch content yippee

Carolyn Thompson

i’m so jealous of the students who well have julia as their TA😭

Kaley Alness

government-mandated makeovers...do you mean the uglies series by Scott westerfeld that dramatically shaped my middle school brain???

Madison Greer

Why did I think What Not to Wear was going to pull me out of my 5th grade class and tell me I dressed like shit 💀

Ann

The energy of this ep is so good 🤩🤩

Rhiannon Ellis

oh my god i nearly forgot these books existed 💀 the way i was fuming that i didn’t get to have a state sponsored yassification at age 18 (or w/e)

Isabella

i just started working in the mental health field and i can attest the constant pathologization of normal (and valuable!!) human emotion by medical professionals is truly so sinister….

ro 🤸‍♀️

“i think we should stream chappell roan” SO TRUE

KE

once again recommending the stylelikeu what’s underneath youtube series!!!!! a refreshing take on authenticity & self-acceptance re: body image/style

KE

STOPPP not eliza’s cake boss imitation 😭😭😭

Hanna Richter

Girlies this episode has me SCREAMING

Claire Shea Duncan

not this ep dropping the moment i finished my pinterest board for my boyfriends makeover 💀😭

kenny

HAPPY NEW YEAR QUEENS

Ally Chozik

oof ummm i love you guys but i’m gonna need you to either look more into it or stop shiting on gaylors all together 😭

myfriendshannon

why is eliza’s buddy impression so good 😭😭

maddie moo

i screameddd at the title i love princess diaries 💀

Becca

omg this reminded me of an ep of 60 minute makeover I watched as a kid (if you don't know: british daytime TV show where somebody gets nominated by friends to have their house totally made over as a surprise in AN HOUR) and when the woman found out she was so angry and saying they had no right to do that to her property & said she hated it and wanted to sue & as a kid I thought she was ungrateful but now? tbh queen u are so right... they did have NO RIGHT to do that to ur property... DRAG THEM... sue them for every penny

Becca

snog marry avoid did so much damage to my pre-teen brain and they never even looked good after

lauren

this episode was 10/10

Luteal Swan

JUSTICE for the people who have sent long emotional texts. You are not wrong for wanting to be heard!!! The man on the receiving end just doesn’t know how to have emotional availability, which is not your fault. Everyone has “a lot going on” that’s life baby!!!! It’s never an excuse to treat someone like shit. You’re not being too much for wanting to be treated well

Luteal Swan

Also government mandated makeovers- watch Number 12 Looks Just Like You from the twilight zone

catherine

I started crying at a one dance hahahahaha

Allie

No no nooo, not the suppressed memories of my mom telling me she was going to put me on What Not to Wear when I was twelvvvvve

lana moss

listening while i churn butter

blaine

Omg when I used to what not to wear I would be so confused when they got rid of everything..I was like ok what about their staples/comfy clothes lol

Madeline Mauk

longest drought ever omg giving me lifeeee

marisa

Are any Toronto binchies going to Eliza’s show in April? We should hang I’m going alone 🥹

Léa BC

I was once told by a random lady on the street that I looked like the girl in Princess Diaries…BEFORE her makeover…

leafy

does anyone else remember the swan? the contestants would be locked away from the world for several months and they’d have to adhere to a strict diet/exercise regimen, speak with a “therapist” (no quality therapist actually focused on assisting people would allow it to be aired for public consumption!) all the while the women are undergoing multiple plastic surgery procedures!!! oh and I think all mirrors were covered too so they couldn’t see themselves. then they made these people compete against each other in a pageant! early 2000s was a lucrative time for evil tv

Jasmine

The girls don’t miss (as per usual). Though I know you love a Khloe Kardashian moment, I’m surprised you didn’t include her makeover show. Also, I’m not sure if you know of the show “The Swan”. I’m 30, and I remember watching it as a kid. They went full under the scalpel from head to toe. It was crazyyyy.

Sedona Steffens

literally needed this like oxygen today. my bs company announced that we are adding another required in-office day and i want to scream

Emily

I personally believe we should all look into it less 💖

slizzarddd

Ladiesss the sooner you realize New York Times is a bad newspaper - like, a journalistically dubious paper - the better cmonnn

Mallie

Genuinely so relieved you guys haven’t fallen for the gaylor queerbaiting brainrot 😭 if the fans genuinely believe she’s gay then they should respect her autonomy enough not to force her out of the closet 🤷‍♀️

clairevalley

okay can’t believe they said they are talking about something prevalent and yet haven’t done a comprehensive episode on Palestine, when they did one with Gav immediately on Ukraine. honestly so disappointing

Erin Healey

I did once have a dream abt a tiktok mutual that kind of cured my sexual dysfunction but I would never TELL her that???????

Ashley

okay sorry but for me as a gaylor it’s not about taylor’s sexuality as much as it is about having a community surrounding a queer interpretation of the music

carly koprevich

i think most of my makeovers were later revealed to be manic episodes

Katalina

did y’all read the uglies by scott westerfeld

marisa

This is interesting! I have never heard this perspective, it’s a great consideration.

Zoe

Please look up the TV show “Snog Marry Avoid”, it’s the craziesttttt makeover show. It starts out by literally asking people on the street if they would snog, marry or avoid (like fuck marry kill) the makeover victim!!! Then they do it again after and show how the results change 😭😭😭

Isø

Omg I watched so much of this in my youth and blacked it out… it was horrible! They were obsessed with turning 2009 scene girlies into executive assistants

anni

I low-key miss this show what’s wrong with me 😭

Emily Walter

RE: Gaylor, can we please talk about 1D’s Larry lore?? The book “Everything I need I get from you: how fangirls created the internet as we know it” dives super deep into queer speculation celebrities and all its nuances!!!!

Lindsey Di Silvestri

eliza is rlly gonna act like she hasn’t been riding the gaylor train on main …

Sloan

what not to wear was MY SHOW and I still dream of having someone give me $5000 to buy all new clothes

Lilly Hogan

it really is the ultimate american neoliberal distraction. imagine if we believed that collective power, mutual aid, and solidarity was what would change our mental health?

alex

american psycho is a good exploration of the conformity/individualism complex in capitalist america!!!

baby.yogurt

wow ballerina farm being exposed as an (alleged) animal abusing fraud is pretty uniquely disturbing to me……..and she’s still having more kids? disaster

Alex

lmao I tried to nominate my mom for What Not to Wear when I was 12 and she found the email on our communal desktop computer. Wish I could have been around to bully your mom right back for you queen!!

Brooke Stocco

im sorry but yall actually missed the mark terribly about taylor swift…. It’s not fanfiction if it’s an actual analysis of her lyrics and life…. seems the girls are speaking on something they don’t know enough about! maybe an ep on the history and significance of queer flagging would be helpful?

maria

That article completely violated her privacy! Its perfectly okay to interpret her songs as queer and to interpret her art as queer but it's incredibly important to separate art from the artist. Taylor has said multiple times she doesn't feel comfortable with people speculating about her sexuality and to publish an article in the style of an expose to reveal this hidden part of her is so invasive! I think it's really none of her business to definitely say that she's gay because we don't know her, and I find it weird to claim to know that when it's something so personal. Also that was more an article that people or entertainment might publish it was a weird move for the nyt

Emily

The ANALYSIS of someone’s life/sexuality feels v icky to meeeee

Cambri Elder

I WAS CUTTING MY OWN BANGS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS HELP😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

baby.yogurt

wow I had a memory come back to me too when Eliza mentioned the Ugly Duckling story.... I was about 14 and I commented to my mom that I didn't like seeing myself in pictures and she went "oh do you think you're going through an ugly duckling phase?" and I was like "yeah".....are moms bullies or

Bori Frankus

Pretty sure they’re turning these into a movie and I regret to report that I believe Joey king is starring

Kaley Alness

Yes! But I believe I heard she's the one who pushed to make them into movies in the first place so I've made my peace

Hannah

This made me remember that my mom used to say “coochie” instead of “kitschy” when I was younger but my dad thought it was too funny to correct 😭😭😭😭😭 I did not realize how insane she must have sounded until now

christina

eliza saying “fondant” has not left my brain since this dropped

Maddiee

have you seen that show from early 2000’s uk called snog married avoid? they literally show a bunch of people a photo of you and then show the person how many people find them repulsed and proceed to give them the absolute worst makeover ever. none of them were good.

Jamie Lerner

the overlapping laughter, this episode is such a joy to listen to!!

Jen Campbell

anyone else here immediately think of that YA book series "the uglies" when they were talking about government mandated makeovers???? twas my first dystopian book i ever read

Sam Haimowitz

Julia’s HOWLING laughter after the Eliza doppelgänger story is KILLING MEEEEEE

Sam Haimowitz

“it’s been a while since we ki’d” PLEASE

Natalie Antonelli

i have a Valentines ep idea! tie in makeovers to the neoliberal capitalist commodification of ourselves on social media and dating apps, passive vs. active conceptions of love, Erich Fromm’s “personality market”, tie in Baudrillard’s hyper reality to our expectations of receiving love… topics inspired by “our conception of love is messed up” by oliSUNvia on youtube (highly recommend her channel)

Abbey Billz

Please do 90 Day Fiancé next

Hannah

This!!! I’m equally exhausted by people making everything about Karlie as I am by people making everything about Travis

Katalina

“sleepy girl drink” aka one step away from making lean

Emily

A few Gaylors commenting and I NEED you all to please listen to G-Flip covering Cruel Summer. On YouTube triple j like a version. This is an openly gay non-binary fkn ICON covering T Swift, in the making of it they said there are heaps of queer T Swift fans who they think would enjoy their cover. Genuinely one of the best covers I have ever heard!!!!!

Sequoia Dahlstrom

SOS any Bay Area binches wanna roadtrip to the album release party//any LA binches have a couch I can crash on if I go the journey alone??? This is truly my Super Bowl I need to go

Sam

the pharmaceutical industry part & “enhancing” yourself was so interesting! I have ADHD and rely on medication just to be able to function & take care of myself like a neurotypical adult would, but sooooo many people who don’t have ADHD take stimulant drugs to be more productive & enhance their productivity. This is annoying because it takes away from the people who actually need them to function and contributes to the drug shortage & stigma around them in general.

Sam

As a bi woman I definetly see some lyrics that remind me of moment with women, but that’s my personal SUBJECTIVE take on them, and doesn’t automatically mean that Taylor has those same experiences. Also I feel like if she wants to come out as bi or gay, she would. But she hasn’t, so it’s disrespectful to make all of these assumptions about her sexuality. At the end of the day it’s nobody’s business, and that’s ok!!!

Sam

I can totally see this! I’m not a Gaylor but I am bi and certain songs (Ivy in particular) feel very WLW-coded & I enjoy the nuance in analyzing her music through that lens. But I draw the line at speculating on Taylor’s sexuality because that feels disrespectful to me personally.

Sam

this is crazy because I feel like part of being 12 is experiencing with clothes, like literally everybody looks back at their middle school fashion and cringes a bit 😭

Juliette Castro

I mostly agree with y'all's take on gaylor and the binchies bringing up the ethics of speculation in the comments, BUT I do think there's something missing from the conversation & that's the context of the Hollywood machine. To say Taylor would've come out by now ignores the existence of closeted celebrities & the rampant homophobia that exists in the American genpub. Elliot Page has even explicitly stated that people in the industry are still forced (or at least encouraged) by teams/publicists to stay in the closet, which I think adds an interesting question mark to all this! I'm not saying this means the NYT article was right, but something to note

Hannah B

Love the gaylor slander

J

Huge brained ep

Rachel

Wait maybe I just need a one dance…

Lily Stein

this episode was soooooo fucking funny!!!! so happy yall r back & looking forward to this years eps :-)

Mary Shandley

As a sociology of gender girlie this had me galaxy braining so hard... might need to write a paper on this

Gabi Pinto

You guys should watch POD. It’s a British 2010’s makeover show where they take like really emo looking people and make them “presentable” and it’s basically this robot with a woman’s voice called POD who insults them and takes polls of people on the street of this persons appearance and they are all like horrible reviews. And like they are so resentful of being on the show (of course!) but then they do actually check in like 3 months later to see if the makeover has stuck. It is sooooo entertaining and kinda campy and crazy. Highly recommend!

Aiden

pleaseeee watch uglies bc that’s literally about government mandated makeovers and it’s CRAZY