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How to Read Your Books in Times of Chaos (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-18 16:42:23
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

We all go through trouble and trauma from time to time.

But how do you keep reading your books when your world is turned upside down?

And how can literature better help us to combat stress?

Today we're talking about the most stressful life events, what defines a major stressor, and how befriending the likes of Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, and Proust can help us through these trying times.

Timestamps:

  • 0:00 healthy coping mechanisms when dealing with stress
  • 3:00 taking care of your physical and mental health
  • 4:00 my current physical health routine
  • 7:30 keep reading your books
  • 8:00 the top 5 most stressful events in life
  • 13:50 4 things that define a stressful event
  • 17:00 literature as an offering of perspective
  • 18:30 when stressors interrupt your life goals
  • 19:00 prescribing specific books for specific stressful events
  • 19:30 Proust and the sonnets
  • 22:50 prescribing epics of times of threat or harm
  • 24:00 Don Quixote as offering courage in times of trouble
  • 26:00 prescribing Dostoyevsky for when demands exceed resources
  • 27:40 books for when ones life vision is disrupted
  • 29:20 change/adaptation as the foundation of stress
  • 30:20 what is the story you’re telling yourself?
  • 32:00 literature as a training ground for your own life
  • 34:00 literature as companionship and shared suffering
  • 34:30 the significance of repetition and rereading
  • 39:00 books as manuals for obtaining virtues
  • 41:00 why Shakespeare’s tragedies don’t depress us
  • 43:00 how to treat a great book like a mirror (and marginalia)
  • 44:00 the tangible positive impact reading has on your life
  • 46:00 our culture of overwork and busyness
  • 49:00 how to look after yourself

Podcast Mentioned:

In this audio, I prescribed specific works for certain stresses. Shakespeare's sonnets and Proust for times of intense change, for example, or epics when feeling under threat or in harm's way.

Do you have any works - be it a poem, a novel, a play, or short story - that you would prescribe to anyone going through a difficult time? 

Thank you for listening and happy reading!

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Comments

Bill Freeman

Ben – This was masterful and timely for me. As I have shared in these threads, since early June, I have been working through some of the most challenging times that I’ve faced in the last 25 years. This involved being unfairly accused and with no one coming to my defense. I reply not to inappropriately overshare but to provide information that I recently discovered related to your podcast. This very writing has been immensely helpful to me and, perhaps, might be for others. Since early June, I have been in intense emotional pain that morphed into physical pain. Thankfully, I and am now coming out on the other side. For about ten weeks, I found myself ruminating on what happened and remembering two prior times in my life where I was also unfairly accused without support from anyone else. Throughout, I read a chapter each day from Don Quixote, Siddhartha and listened to Proust (less so because I am getting bored by it). I frequently journaled. I think what follows could be viewed under the rubric of cognitive behavior reflection. I’d like to share a bit of this recent emotional recovery road trip. I was reminded of the following from the “Awakening” chapter in Siddhartha: “He pondered deeply, like diving into deep water: he let himself sink down to the bottom of the sensation, down to the place where the causes lie. He did so because identifying causes, so it seemed to him, was the essence of thinking, and by this act alone sensations turn into realizations and are not lost, but become entities and start to emit like rays of light what is inside of them” (p. 38). As I began this process, I reminded (repeatedly) myself that a crisis is a terrible thing to waste. And as my sangha leader often states, “what am I supposed to learn here?” As challenging as it was as I moved through these intense feelings, I focused on the following: (1). I will “respond and not react,” choosing to be skillful and kind. It’s about actions, not thoughts. Following Frankl’s sage advice – “between stimulus and response there is a space and, in that space, lies our freedom to CHOOSE how to respond.” (2). I repeated to myself the wisdom of the Dhammapada, “Hate never ceases with hate but only by love is it healed; this is an ancient truth” (1:5). I continued my daily morning practice of box and Wim Hof breathing, yoga, brisk walks, 4-minute cold showers, and meditation. As I now review my journal, I wrote: “Remember this: Box and Wim Hof breathing seem to change my racing mind and offer a way through.” I had a lot of recriminations and mental rehearsals of “what I should have said,” of re-runs and retorts. These experiences were hellish, and as I was processing this, I would swing from anger and wanting vengeance to moments of reflection but all under cover of severe depression. As this happened, I would very consciously return to my breath – “breathing in, I know that I am breathing in; breathing out, I know that I am breathing out.” Over and over and over and over. It took me out of my head, at least for those moments. I used Celine Santini’s workbook, “Kintsugi: Finding Strength in Imperfect,” to help process the experience. I found great strength in Jordan Peterson’s YouTube videos and in his “12 Rules for Life.” I found insight in John DeMartini’s GAIA videos and his book, “The Breathing Experience: A Revolutionary New Approach to Personal Transportation.” Now, thankfully, on the other side, here are a few of my takeaway realizations: (1). Everything in life comes with light and darkness. Both sides of life are to be embraced. This is the reality of suffering in the world. The challenge is when I expect life to be one-sided. Everything in life is a feedback mechanism to guide us to live authentically. The quality of life is based on the quality of the questions I am asking. If I asked questions that reveal both sides of an event, I liberate myself from the emotional baggage of one-sided thinking. (2). Depression is a feedback mechanism to let me know that I am projecting unrealistic expectations on the world, others, and myself. Depression is an ordinary response to these unrealistic, one-sided expectations. (3). This helped me clarify my highest values (all are #1): -- my primary relationship with my spouse; -- teaching/coaching/mentorship; -- learning; -- spiritual development; -- connecting and serving. (4). As I reflect over the past 10 weeks, I also identified those who supported me and lifted me up. I received a lot of support; I am deeply grateful. (5). This accusation (as horrible and unfair as it was) was only one moment in time. It is not summative. The good that I have done is unavailable for ridicule, cannot be diminished, and lives in those I have helped. (6). Finally, I did a life review and realized that I have already successfully lived through 13 major life transitions. I am skillful and resourceful (this realization led to an emotional breakthrough). I realized that that I can manage this. Thanks for letting me share my reply to a great podcast.

Fiona Wang
>>66142850

Hey Bill, it is amazing how you were able to arrive at these liberating conclusions. I applaud your strength and flexible thinking. It gives me courage during a trying time. Stay strong and thanks for sharing.

Bill Freeman
>>66142850

Hi Fiona – Thanks for your reply. I didn’t want to overshare or get into the details of who, what, when. I was very conscious and intentional with my internal reactions, what worked, didn’t work, how I lived through the process and some of my personal takeaways. Personally, it was very helpful putting it on paper. Perhaps, it might be helpful to others. Thanks again!

Caroline P
>>66142850

Wow Bill. What truly difficult challenges life gives us sometimes. Your experiences sound very tough. I am new to the group so don’t know you well at all but I do send you sympathy and a big parcel of kind thoughts. Your 6 takeaway realisations are so inspired and true. I found the last two especially profound and touching. Anyway, I am glad you are on the better side of this.

Bill Freeman
>>66142850

Hi Caroline – Thank you for your kind reply. I am so pleased to hear that some of my takeaways might be helpful. I do want to underscore that the readings and the bookclub community were and are amazing. Ben's insight is a true gift. Be well.

hardcoreliterature
>>66142850

Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Bill. Having spoken to you, I can certainly testify that you did weather a brutal storm recently. I can also testify that you weathered it with incredibly resourcefulness. As you say, you have reconceptualised your identity 13 times. You know what you’re doing at this stage, and likely have a greater insight into your self - your real self - than most will obtain. I find that same question to be a good one - what am I supposed to learn here? Often, I’ll find that I’m relearning the same lesson time and again, and each new problem just makes the learning a bit more robust. This often takes the form of learning to pivot into the obstacle, embrace the difficulty, and go with it to some degree. You put this perfectly with this - ‘Everything in life comes with light and darkness. Both sides of life are to be embraced.’ Shakespeare is great for learning to suspend judgement about action and character. Sitting with the light and dark side equally transfers into our own side. It saddens me, but a comfort with the dark side is so completely necessary for us to thrive and stay healthy. Also using life as a training ground to refine aspects of character - like those virtues detailed in Aristotle’s ethics - has always been a nice approach for me personally. Depression as feedback mechanism, and projection, is also incredibly insightful. Expectations have tripped me up more than once. Whether something is “fair” or “unfair” is a huge one. Why should I expect life to be fair? And if I abandon that expectation, the stress levels do indeed dial down a little bit. Thank you for this beautiful post. I appreciate you deeply, Bill!

Bill Freeman
>>66142850

Ben – Thank you for your reply. Most certainly, you were vital support and a tool for mindful reflection. Of course, these experiences aren't linear, but more spiral, with (hopefully) each successive loop providing new perspective and relief. The notion of “reconceptualized your identity 13 times” comes directly from John Demartini’s Part 1 Gaia presentation. Hearing it drew me to a life review and list (discover) that I have reinvented myself 13 times with the associated realization that I am resourceful and resilient. This was a huge, breakthrough realization (think, CBT). It has also been my experience that life will repeatedly present the same lessons until we learn them deeply in our core (again, spiral). As I write this, I recall one of my board chairs telling me, "Bill you have already learned this lesson, you don't need to relearn it again." The notion of “light and darkness” is essential wisdom, without which we set ourselves up for enormous pain and failure. Buddhism handles this reality so very well; it is the first Noble Truth. Christianity, IMO, less so. With Christianity's dominant image of the cross, it seems to truncate suffering when, in fact, the point is the Pascal Mystery (suffering>death>resurrection) and how suffering leads to new life. Otherwise, life is just pointless and cruel; the creator's "manufacture's defect." As I mentioned, up until the 4th Century, Christianity's dominant symbol was the fish, ikhthū́s. As the brilliant and renowned American Benedictine nun Joan Chittister states: “We are not people of the cross, we are people of the empty tomb.” Regarding “fairness,” I believe there is no fairness in life; our collective and personal histories are replete with examples. Deliver us from that myth! The only “fairness” in life is what we – intentionally – bring into it. Thus the call for mindful social action and deeper connections that we mirror in each other. There is such truth in Karma. What goes around, indeed, comes around. Sensei, a profound bow.

hardcoreliterature
>>66142850

Wow. A profound bow right back to you, with gratitude for this wonderfully nuanced and deeply thoughtful response. Beautiful!

Florian Pesantes
>>66142850

Dear Bill, how sad that now-one should come to your defense. Well, one did obviously and the most important one: yourself. Allow me to quote your takeaway message (2) to a friend who might find this very helpful. Thank you for your openness and kindness. I’m always looking out for your comments.

Bill Freeman
>>66142850

Dear Florian - Thank you for your kind reply. I didn't want to inappropriately "overshare." But, the takeaways were hard-earned and may be helpful to others; I hope they are for your friend! Stay safe and healthy! We have so much Delta COVID here.

Sid Collins

Great conversation to listen to while building a bookshelf on a rainy day. Thanks, Ben!