Hold Your Tongue - Reflections on HANL Playing Live + Early Black Wing Demo (Patreon)

Hey all.

So, first things first. There's a Black Wing demo affixed to this post. 

I do mean demo. It's a bit cringey in parts, as my early shit tends to be.

It's tentatively called "Hold Your Tongue," but I kind of hate that title. It stays for now, until I can think of something better.

I've been pulled to work on Black Wing stuff lately, so those songs are coming along pretty quickly.

This particular demo has rough vocals and lyrics, needs to be mixed, etc, etc. There are some definitely rough bits in there. Listen at your own risk - most of this will get fixed up.

 However, I like the general vibe, and I like how dark the themes are, while still remaining a bit tongue in cheek. In general, the newer BW stuff is a bit more minimal than the first record, and I'm enjoying that.

I also feel like it's as close as I get to a club banger.

Hope you dig it. Let me know your thoughts. 

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HANL is playing live tomorrow, at the Middle East in Boston.

I keep turning to my wife and saying, "Wow, I can't believe the show is..."...a month away, a week away, a day away.

I'm trying to remember what I felt like the LAST time HANL was playing live. I found Justin Snow's old review of our first show, at the Stone in NYC. It's weird to read it and remember back. I know I was nervous, and excited. I hadn't been playing live in a long time, and I wasn't sure how I would even end up being on stage.

(You can actually watch that entire performance on YouTube, by the way. I will admit to not being able to get through it, myself.)

It's the same way now. We've been practicing, we're ready, we sound decent. I just can't remember what it's like to perform, really. Not in front of actual people. Not when it matters.

That's the downside of the bedroom band. How does that band continue to exist outside that room? When it's not just you, and your best friend, and an internet connection?

I have a tendency to lose it on stage. I absorb too much of the energy of the audience, I lose focus, I lose the pacing, I blow out my voice and collapse halfway through the goddamn set. I know these things to be true.

But I'm also older now, and wiser, and tireder. I've been traveling and have slept like shit a few days in a row. Maybe all these things will dampen that enthusiasm enough to get me through the entire set.

Maybe.

My expectations rise with the expectations of others, but you've gotta be careful with that shit. Pretty soon, you're not in control of yourself, that way.

So instead, I'm just going to show up and let it happen. I'm going to trust that I can remember how the songs go, and remember how to be a person in front of other people.

Let's see what happens.