The Job of an Isekai Protagonist is never Done [Commission] (Patreon)

Commission by [GoX.Tcs] over on SB.

Prompt - 

A Marvel OC insert who’s a World Hopper. He's done the harem the god cheats but now he wants a slow retirement but the being he bad a deal with needs a favor. Their Marvel Universe is going to shit, Tony is still at the bottom of whiskey bottles, Bucky is still Winter Soldier, the heroes are slow but the villains -  Galactus, Thanos, Mephisto all are still on schedule with their plans already still in motion. So now this grumpy guy has to set things right. A chance to write a chapter that can still be badass, has a few cool tricks, but has no interest in playing the big glamoured hero or the stealthy assassin.

Disclaimer - I don’t own any of the IP that might appear here, except for my own OCs. 

Chapter 1 : The Introduction

In an Eden class world, a veritable paradise of nature, a man sat on a wooden rocking chair on the lawn in front of his house, overlooking the lake and the waterfall situated right in front of his home, a glass of millenia old alcohol in his hand.

“Ah, that’s the stuff!” He exclaimed, having taken his first sip of one of the most coveted alcoholic beverages in the entire omniverse. It was not easy trying to get honey from a world that was ruled by a reality warping Queen Bee, and it was equally hard to find other ingredients that wouldn't bring down the value of that magnificent ingredient.

Last he had checked, the Queen Bee had placed a curse on him and had closed down the gate of her universe. Of course, the curse had been rebuffed, but unless he wanted to get into a fight with a realty warping Bee which would destroy multiple clusters of universes, he couldn't go back into that universe. She would notice it instantly, and unlike last time, she would not be caught off guard by someone who surpassed even her in terms of reality warping, even if the difference was not as big as it should be.

“~Honey!” The man known as Adrian King, the Omniversal Traveller, Conqueror of Universes, liberator of waifus and all around badass isekai protagonist, turned slightly to see one of his wives, Adriana (No, that was not her name. Her race had no concept of name, so she had taken his) holding a letter in her hand, waving at him, with literal sparkling eyes.

Her race could do that. Sadly, they were ostracised for having that trait, and as such, he had to liberate that world from its inherent racism and install a friendly government. It was run by her brother now, and it was one of their vacation worlds whenever they got bored of living in the Literal paradise that was this planet.

He waved to her to come closer, as he took yet another sip of his drink, the one he had saved for the last. When he had finally finished all his objectives, and he had!

He had his loved ones, his waifus, his kids, all the friends he could ever ask for. The ones that were out of his range were marked with reincarnation marks, that would make sure their souls would enter a specialised reincarnation cycle of his design, allowing him to choose if he wanted to let the soul get purified, or to incarnate them in a freshly made body and smack them upside their head for their foolish actions.

It was quite literally the end of his road. His retirement dream. This was the place where he was going to process his trauma, drink his body weight in drinks that made others explode due to their energy content, and just laze around. Because he was done.

He was one of the three strongest beings in his cluster of the omniverse, and he was fine with that. He knew the other two fellows, and all of them had an implicit understanding not to attack each other, as there would be no winner in that fight, just losers.

Also, not to brag, but he was also the strongest of the bunch. Not to the point that he could defeat both of them simultaneously, but he could defeat each of them individually. As such, all he had to do was show up once in a while to repel the uppity Outer Gods if they tried anything, which was not scheduled for….

A quick mental calculation later, because he had partially sealed his omniscience because things quickly got boring when he got that, the number came to him. The next fight was not scheduled for another 40,000 years, so he was good for that long.

All he had to do was…

His thoughts stopped, as Adriana came closer; his senses, suppressed heavily as they were, recognised the energy signature that was coming closer. The drink floated mid air as he got out of his chair and appeared in front of Adriana, his gaze laser focused on the mundane looking latter in her hand.

“Ah!” Adriana gasped, her hand going to her bountiful chest, which was partially exaggerated since she could easily keep up with him in this suppressed form. Her giggle turned into a worried look as she snatched the letter out of her hand silently, which was unlike him because with Adriana, he was the most open. He couldn't help it! She was just so bubbly, but now was not the time for that.

The letter had his stink all over it. The one who gave him the opportunity to isekai, giving him World hopping powers and telling him to go to town, verbatim, with the only caveat being a favour he could call forth at any point that would not harm him or his loved ones.

Since he was freshly dead, had no loved ones to speak of, and he himself was in soul form that could be dissipated with a thought of the ROB, he had hastily agreed. Over the years, he had tried to find the origin of the ROB, because he had grown paranoid about the favour, but after his ascension, his mindset had shifted, and he realised that whatever happens, happens. When he realised that even after his ascension, he couldn't find any trace of the ROB, he concluded that all he could do was wait, and enjoy the time in between.

His mindset underwent a qualitative change, but seeing the letter and feeling the energy signature, he realised that the bastard had called in his favour. 

Just when the Wine had finished fermenting properly!

Cursing the man, he kissed Adriana, telling her, “It’s nothing. Just a letter from a long lost acquaintance of mine. Either way, prepare for the Level 1 call. I’ll be back in a moment.”

Saying so, he watched as Adriana shifted from loving wife mode to war leader mode, nodding solemnly as she went inside the cabin to call in the Level 1 call, which was just the upper layer of his loose family/organisation. 

These days, they ran the whole show, and he only took infrequent updates from them. If he had to go somewhere because of the ROB or had to prepare for something, they would have to be the first ones to know about it.

Opening the letter, he instantly read through the whole thing, and the only thing he could do after that was groan out loud in annoyance. 

“Fuck!” he cursed out loud, the sky above him literally cracking before he sighed and waved his hand, mending the spatial distortion in the sky and reviving the hundred thousand animals who died due to the energy wave.

___xx__

“And that’s why I will be gone for a year. The time dilation means I will have experienced a little over 10 years. I expect things to be handled properly in my absence. I have informed the others about it, and they will make sure nothing comes close here. In case of any emergency, I want you all to retreat to this world. The other two will make sure nothing follows you back.

As for the Reincarnation stream, I have set it to contain only mode for now, so in case any of you dies, you will be stuck there until I come back, so be extra careful. Now, I have long outgrown any emotional goodbyes so…” 

With his piece said, he disappeared from the place, partially because he was not sure if he could resist Adriana’s puppy eyes as she would undoubtedly plead for him to take her, but the conditions were clear.

Only he could come through, and despite his vast powers, he wasn’t going to subject Adriana to the ROB and the consequences of ignoring his warnings.

With that in mind, he appeared at the edge of his current universe, waved a hand at the two gazes he felt from his peers, sent in a mental image of a middle finger to both of them and smiled at receiving two identical ones back, and just took a step forward….

___xx__

One of the things that came with becoming Omnipotent was that he could recognise when there were other omnipotents in the same universe, provided he could fathom that there were others that could have the same power. It was the only reason why the Queen Bee couldn't perceive him at all. Her mind simply couldn't comprehend that there could be yet another being like her.

Here, though, he sensed multiple higher tier ones, but he could tell that all of them were behind one or more walls, incapable of affecting him in any direct way. Then, there were the others, limited as they were.

Not omnipotent, but omniscience, severely limited as it might be. He recognised some of them. 

He instinctively spread his spirit sense to cover as much of the universe as he could, only to furrow his brows as he felt a hard limit on that ability, which limited his omnipotence quite a bit. Yet another condition from the ROB.

He had mentioned some limits to the secondary effects of his powers but hadn’t explained. It would seem that this was one of them.

Fine. He will make do with planetary range for now.

He instantly latched onto the Anchors of this world, as was detailed by ROB. This world was on a doomed path, with its anchors either suppressed or outright destroyed, with the negative anchors well on their path to fulfill their goals.

In his opinion, this whole system was one big pile of bullshit, but it was the most used system across the omniverse, at least the clusters he had been to.

Basically, there were positive and negative anchors in every universe. Their actions were, as you might have guessed it, positive and negative for their world, and both of them had to do their respective jobs.

Now, the positive anchors of this world had been neutered, and the ROB, who didn’t want to see that, had enlisted his help, not to outright save the world. Nooooo, that would be too easy now, wouldn’t it? It would also destroy the universe as well.

Now, he had to restore the balance and help the positive anchors either regain their original roles or outright create new positive anchors.

Honestly, you train a few too many heroes and anchor beings, and now the ROB wants you to do the same for this variation of the Marvel Universe.

I was on retirement, dammit!

….After his little mental rant, which happened in less than a second of real time, he sighed and decided that since he was here, might as well do it properly. His senses interfaced with the electronics of this world and noted the timeline.

He was in Iron Man 2’s timeline, it would seem. Only this time, there was no cure for Stark’s poisoning. Not even with SHIELD, as Howard Stark had truly destroyed all his research before being killed by the Winter Soldier, yet another positive anchor who will be doing all negative anchor things for the next few years.

And so, Anthony Edward Stark, the one who was supposed to become the prodigious Iron Man, Humanity’s best guardian, was drinking himself to his death.

He sighed once more, creating a record for the most sighs in the past thousand years of his life, and disappeared from his spot, which was somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.

He had no wish to take on the role of a hero or villain in this world, no wish to hand hold the heroes to the finish line, no wish to become the mentor to these beings. He had enough of them back home anyway, though all of them had grown too old to be man enough to face him for all the spankings they were racking up after he read the Level 1 reports.

They knew it was coming, he knew it was coming, but both of the parties were waiting for someone to cave, and he resolved to do that the first thing when he went back from here.

Appearing in the most anchor energy rich zone on the planet, he looked at the bustling people, the towering Skyscrapers and the stench of humanity.

Ah, New York

Why wasn't he surprised?

Disclaimer - I don’t own any of the IP that might appear here, except for my own OCs. 

Chapter 2 : The Cafe

Setting an identity for himself was easy. Buying property was easier. Doing the interior of that place? Well, one could guess where he was going with this.

See, back when he was a measly human reading stuff that was his real life now, he had read many of the stories, with the character, once they became OP and went into retirement mode, except they could never quit their heroic and nose putting tendencies, opening a cafe or store or something of that sort.

And then, watched as the entire cast of the world quite literally stumbled into their shop and offered their sagely wisdom. Now, he never had the chance to do that before, all because he never had the chance to be in the streets.

Every place he went to, the higher tier beings of that palace hounded him, and when he was done killing or subduing them, he no longer had any interest left in that universe, as the aftermath of their fight usually meant the place no longer being in its pristine state. Now, in this place he could do that without the threat of the ROB of this place forcing him into a fight that erased everyone here.

The copies created after the multiversal fight was finished never felt the same to him.

This was his chance to become the Cafe Grandpa, and he couldn't wait! He seemed to have read a fiction bearing a similar name before he came to this universe.

It would seem that this might not be an entire annoyance of an exercise. No one said he couldn’t have any fun and fulfill his favour at the same time. He just had to make sure that this universe did not lose its balance and fall off into the deep end. He had a little bit less than a decade to make that happen.

A lifetime for someone of his power, as he could just wave his hand, forcibly erase every positive anchor’s mind, create a new psyche that would just work and work on end without distraction, and save the world. If only the ROB wanted that to happen. Well, then ROB might not need him.

It occurred to him that it must be due to his continued human nature despite his vast power that ROB enlisted his help. He did not need automatons working for the good of the universe. ROB likely needed the characters themselves to work on it, which is why he had the whole decade long timeline.

Shaking his head, he put his hands on his hips and looked at the storefront he had just bought, all cash. Of course, no one had any questions about the absurd amount of money he had in his possession, both in his bank account and in cash. 

The neighbourhood was not great, the roads were not nice, the paint was peeling off the walls of the nearby buildings, and the windows of the store were broken and vandalised. All in all, it was not quite the prime real estate that an up and coming Cafe owner would be looking at.

He grinned at the absolute mess of a store in front of him, “It’s perfect.”

Ignoring the stares of the people walking past, he walked into the store. Time to get to work, in the most casual way possible.

___xx__

Bronx, New York [A month later]

–Tony Stark–

He stumbled out of his car, his face covered completely, absentmindedly locking the car behind me, as he looked at the shady ass neighbourhood in front of him. It being midnight did not help the road that had more craters than potholes, with a single flickering streetlight, with trash strewn about the streets, until the city cleaners took it in the morning, if they bothered coming anyway.

A muffled voice crackled from the pocket of his hoodie, “Sir, I highly suggest returning to safety. You have not taken any of the suits with you for safety. In case of an altercation, I will be unable to–”

“Where?”

Jarvis was silent for a moment there, as he spoke again, “Where cough is it?”

Jarvis spoke up again after that, “Sir, the rumours are unsubstantiated, and you must understand the risks of–”

“Just,” he grit out, hunching a bit as he felt the alcohol compete with the Palladium in his bloodstream for the award of the most poisonous stuff in his body, “Tell me.”

“A few steps forward, past the streetlights, then turn at the alleyway. Walk past the blue trashcan but not the red trashcan, then walk backwards past the streetlight once more.”

He followed the intentionally convoluted instructions that were somehow capable of bypassing every human’s memory, requiring it to be stored in the memory of a digital being like Jarvis who ran a sub process in the background, constantly reciting the instructions to himself, lest Jarvis too lose the instructions.

It was the only way he could find this place. Something that had alarm bells ringing all around the world. The place spoken of in a hushed whisper as the place that could grant anyone anything. And he meant anything.

He had personally seen the videos of the boy who now boasted of intangibility and invincibility running around in Congo, dismantling the mining operations that killed people by the dozens there, and he was last seen in this exact same place the last time he was in New York.

He freely spread the message on how to find this place, and the entire world had flocked here to find it. Apparently, intent mattered here. Not just anyone could approach the cafe that could grant wishes.

Of course, the government being who they were, tried to cordon the area off, declared it off limits, and then tried to buy it off, and then, the President ended up dead, with a letter taped on his forehead, warning of any interference. Then, Senators ended up dead. Then a few Spy Agency Directors, then multiple foreign heads of state, and then, eventually, 13 Billionaires had to die before the entire thing was written off, with strict instructions not to poke the paranormal event.

As it had clearly shown itself to have no limits to people or areas it can reach, no secrets it could not uncover, the entire episode was deleted from most places, with only a few people outside of the top tier of intelligence agencies being aware of it.

Hell, he knew for a fact that the only reason he even heard of it was because some people wanted him dead. People who knew of it and just wanted to see him burn and suffer for it. Since they could not touch the Congo guy who was doing a bang up job of making sure that anyone who wanted to exploit his country was not leaving his country with at least a broken limb, they decided to test him.

If he succeeded, they had more information about this thing that could theoretically grant people immortality or some other stupid shit, and if he failed, then the road to claiming his suit and using it as the weapon was cleared for them.

A win-win for them and yet, they had no idea just how desperate he was to gamble his life on this. After all, he was supposedly a guest in the Land of Living now anyway, so might as well try this clearly impossible and half fake sounding thing.

He tried to follow Jarvis’ instructions clearly, but he was starting to think that drinking a bottle of whiskey before going on this endeavour might not have been the smartest thing to do. On the other hand, if he hadn’t had liquid courage instead of blood in his veins right now, you know, aside from the Palladium anyway, he might have never come here. After all, even in his current self destructive spiral, he had enough of a brain left to understand that this was just yet another dead end, like the other dozen or so miracles he had chased over the past six months.

In the end, he had to start over three times before he heard it. The sound of people laughing, doors opening and closing, soft music playing in the background. He blinked, straightened up as he felt a warm feeling enter his body, soothing him entirely. He shook his head, quite literally feeling the alcohol poisoning go away as he felt his mental faculties returning to him slightly.

“Jarvis?” he said out loud, trying to see if this was all something his brain had come up with before killing itself, but he received no reply. Alarmed, he whipped out his phone, only to find it switched off. No matter what he did, it did not turn on. He did a full 360 on the spot, finding the area completely unrecognisable.

Having no other choice, he pinched himself, and after finding out that he had indeed found something here and this was not a dream, he gulped, feeling rather nervous as he pushed the door and took a step in.

The second he did so, the warmth hit him head on. Not just the relief of getting away from the bone chilling cold of the street outside, but also something else. Something that made him far more relaxed, even more so when he was outside. It was as if a fog had been lifted from his mind and with it, came a string of realisations that threatened to drown him.

So, he did what he did best when it came to dealing with complicated emotions, even when he didn’t have multiple poisons running through his bloodstream, he ignored it and looked around.

The place looked as if someone had taken the concept of an Aesthetic cafe from Pinterest, and then absolutely spit on it and thrown everything at the wall and did not even look back to see if something stuck or not.

The chairs were mismatched, not just in colors but also in sizes and shapes. All the tables were of different colors, and not just neutral colors, like grey, wood, or even white. It was as if a rainbow had vomited here. 

The spacing was also done wrong. There was way too much space between two tables in some spaces and just enough for a single person to pass through if they tried really hard. The walls looked as if they were painted by a child. The bar counter was the one thing that looked okay, as it was grey coloured but beyond that, nothing in this place made any sense.

He supposed that a place that could induce some sort of miracle just by stepping in it would make no sense. His many brushes with death had not prepared him for the feelings he got when he was faced with an impending certain death. And feeling that for months on end really made his mind not give an F anymore.

Just a few months ago, he would have been brushing off anyone who thought that this was magic, but today, he found himself accepting of the fact.

Then, he realised that he had been talking to himself in his mind and snapped out of it, looking at the patrons of this place, finding nothing amiss. Swallowing, he stepped towards the bar counter and sat down on one of the swivelling stools.

He looked up as a bell rang and then, one of the most humongous dudes he had ever witnessed stepped out. He had to be more than six and a half feet at the very least, and built like a Gorilla as well. The mop of white hair and the white beard, as well as the small wrinkles on his face, tried to paint a picture of seniority, but looking at him from any other angle would just debunk that theory.

The man then looked at him, and the man’s face twisted from the slight smile on his face to one of a frown. He mumbled something to himself, before marching up to him. He unconsciously leaned back, afraid that this man would tear him in half from behind the counter.

He certainly looked like he could do it. Fortunately for him, no such thing happened. The man merely stood at the counter and looked at him for a long time, apparently waiting for him to speak. While he just sat there, basking in the feeling of not having a mental fog over his head in quite a long time. Just because he came to know about the Palladium poisoning a few months ago did not mean that he was not suffering under its effects for quite a while.

If he was not wrong, the day he tried to push the Mk. I Arc Reactor beyond its limits led to a large influx of Palladium in his body, and since then, the problem had only exacerbated as he continued to use his suit.

“Well?”

He was brought out of his thoughts by the man’s impatient voice.

He cleared his throat, “Uh, I’ll have water, with ice, please. I’ll pay for it,” He added after the glare only intensified at his order. He finally felt like himself after a long time, so he felt no need to dull the ache with alcohol. It was a surprisingly pleasant feeling.

“Sure.” The man snorted before snapping his fingers. He blinked as he suddenly found himself holding onto a glass of ice cold water. He didn’t even see the glass appear. Hell, his hands were not in that position before. He was sure of that!

Sipping on the water, he looked at the man before finally deciding to rip the band aid off. While he would have loved to bask in this feeling for a longer time, preferably forever, he knew that it did not work like that.

Clearing his throat, he set the glass down before looking at the bartender, who was most likely, the owner of this cafe. “So, I heard that you can do miracles? Grant people superpowers? I don’t want superpowers! I just need medical help.” He added hastily later on, worried that the man might think of him as one of the many power hungry people who have undoubtedly approached this place and thus died for it.

He would love not to die in his own sleep with no trace of what might have done it. The man in front of him, aside from likely being able to kill him with just his muscles, could do it just like snapping his fingers or by employing whatever method he had that killed people in their sleep.

While he didn’t know just how the ability to displace matter, both organic and inorganic, in a way that not even the neurons were disturbed, translated to giving people heart attacks, he was not going to take any chances. Chances that his brain would help him hear were very low, hence the very humble attitude.

He would kneel to someone if they cured him, a thought he would have never entertained before he felt the constant threat of death looming over his head.

“Sorry, can’t do it.” He blinked, feeling the rejection far more clearly than he had expected to, despite knowing that there was a good chance he would be rejected.

Before he could try to convince the man to reconsider, he felt someone else exit the door that likely led to the kitchen of this place. 

His eyes widened as he saw the same boy who practically ran an entire country in Africa, wearing an apron of all things, holding onto a tray of food. His gaze followed the aptly named Invincible, right up until he exited his line of sight to deliver the food. Before he could even think of the Hero of Congo that apparently worked here, the sound of fingers snapping made him look back at his primary target here.

“Can’t you reconsider? I can offer money, though I assume you don’t really need it considering….” He vaguely gestured all around him because so far, he had seen things that would have the world falling over itself to get access to.

Spatial displacement. Perception Alteration. Hell, just the fact that he had someone of Invincible’s calibre working for him would have most World  Leaders at his doorstep. He just had to call.

“Why would I, though? You have done a very successful job in setting up and executing your will. You seem to think the world would be better off without you in it, so why bother?” The man said in a casual tone, and he had to sit there and take it in, acting as if the words did not hurt more than anything he had ever felt in his life.

It hurt because it was the truth. He had been acting like that, hadn’t he? And he had come close too. Rhodey had left with the suit prepared for him last week, and he had been blowing off the one person who cared enough to check on him for the entire time too. 

He looked up at the man to say something, only to find him gone. He looked down to see the glass gone too, but with a note along with a small vial of something.

One time flush. Rest is up to you.

He took the vial and clutched it tightly. He flinched a bit as the note began withering away spontaneously. He looked around and just saw regular people dining about. Actually, it was quite the mixed crowd. Mixed in terms of dressing, ages, and more. 

Before he could dwell on that, his vision blurred as he found himself standing, barely holding himself upright as the familiar sight of the street was revealed to him. Jarvis’ voice cracked back to life as he smiled at seeing the vial in his hand.

It was proof that this was not just a dream. He smiled and walked back to his car, feeling far better than before.

“Come on, Jarvis, we have work to do.”

___xx___

–Adrian King–

He smiled, sipping on the best alcohol he could produce here, with the help of time acceleration in a pocket dimension, as he watched Tony not just fight but decimate the Hammer Drones, courtesy of a somehow vastly more powerful Iron Man suit. 

He knew the reason why. It would seem that it was impossible for Tony in this universe to make that unique element based on the Tesseract’s housing, the vital element that made the Arc Reactor viable in the first place, as the power source for an armour anyway.

Somewhere along the way, Howard Stark’s magnum opus was lost. SHIELD did not have any records of it.

No physical copy of it or any of Howard’s experiments anywhere. It would seem that Howard had destroyed every single bit of his research before he died an untimely death at the hands of the Winter Soldier.

Which was not as untimely as HYDRA had expected it to be. Howard somehow knew that he was going to die the moment it was revealed that he now held the formula for a super soldier serum, and had prepared accordingly. He had just never expected the leak to come from inside the very organisation he helped found, and because of that, both he and his wife died at the hands of Bucky Barnes.

Which is why Tony had no choice but to turn to the one exotic material he knew that could do anything and everything in a manner that was frankly nonsensical when thought of in terms of conventional physics.

Vibranium.

The week of clear head that he gave Tony worked wonders, and the man had built a version of Arc Reactor that could quite literally function forever with the shard of Vibranium he managed to get off the black market.

The theory was there. The money was there. Just the will was absent. He gave the man a clear mind and a wake up call.

Which was more than enough effort on his end.

He smiled as he felt the ping from ROB at a job well done.

Now, to move to the next prospect. He cast the spell that was tailor made to attract persons of interest here. 

The next Positive anchor should be here soon. If not, he could always create new ones, just like Invincible.

He still snickered at the thought of the blatant plagiarism.

It was not like anyone could sue him for that!

Word Count - 5676