My Best Friend is an Eldritch Horror - Epilogue (Patreon)

Epilogue 1

Delph leaned against the hilt of his axe, looking over the remains of the battlefield surrounding Blackmist. It had been several months since the Corruption had completely vanished, and the kingdom was somehow in more chaos than it ever had been before.

The Queen was trying to figure out what had happened, the nobles were all vying to try and increase their power, and most of the mages were just happy that the casualties had been so incredibly low despite the scale of the threat.

Delph, on the other hand, was bored out of his mind. He let out his tenth sigh of the hour. Havel slipped down from his shoulders and took the form of a small, featureless humanoid. Delph glanced down at his companion and raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“You’ve been sitting around for days. Aren’t you going to do something?”

“I was doing something,” Delph replied. “Now what am I supposed to do? All the fun is over. My students grabbed it and shunted it off into the Void. Greedy little bastards wanted it all for themselves.”

Havel formed an eyebrow on his flat face and raised it. 

“What?” Delph asked.

The eyebrow rose higher.

“Stop that.”

Havel extended his forehead, giving the eyebrow more room to travel. Delph punted his companion, but his foot passed clean through Havel’s rippling grey body. He cursed and threw his hands up into the air.

“Fine. I miss them. They were fun!” Delph exclaimed. “What do you want me to say? It was the first time I’ve enjoyed myself since the frontlines. Don’t you know how long its been since I found someone with the potential to get stronger than me? And I found two of them. Just my luck that they both vanish right when they get to the point where I could finally have a good fight. Both!”

“They defeated the Corruption,” Havel said. “At that level of strength, you weren’t going to be much of a match anymore.”

“I’d take a humiliating defeat over this.”

“This is what we wanted,” Havel said. “The Mortal Plane is safe. That’s what mattered.”

“What’s the point of living if there’s no enjoyment in it?” Delph demanded. “Do you think little monsters like that grow on trees? I could try to fight the Queen, but she’s got so many clingers tailing her that I’d never get a chance to really enjoy myself.”

“If I didn’t already know there was nothing left to be saved, I’d have some serious concerns for your mental health,” Havel grumbled. “If you’re going to keep moping around, at least let me go somewhere. I’m bored.”

“No. If I’m going to suffer, then we’re going to do it together.”

Before Havel could respond, a crackling red portal shimmered to life behind them. Delph didn’t even bother turning around as Dredd stepped out from within it, the bags under his eyes even deeper than they’d ever been.

“Oh brother,” Delph grumbled.

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” Dredd asked. “Because that was bad, even for you.”

“What do you want? I was just getting into the middle of my daily complaints to my companion. I’ve been practicing the speech in my head for a few hours, so I’d prefer to avoid interruptions.”

Dredd snorted. “Are you done?”

“No, but I don’t imagine you’ll be leaving until you say what’s on your mind. You might as well get it out. Why are you here?”

“Not to chat,” Dredd replied. “I’m making a delivery.”

“A delivery? Someone got me a gift?”

“Not exactly,” Delph replied with a small smile. “Be seeing you, Delph.”

He stepped back into the portal, vanishing. It rippled, and Whisp stepped out from within it. The portal shimmered closed behind her. Delph wrinkled his nose.

“This is the worst gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Whisp grunted. “Likewise.

She pulled her heavy gauntlets off and tossed them to the ground. Each one landed with a crash, leaving a small dent in the earth. Shadows rippled up, forming into a small stool. She sat down heavily.

“This is my brooding spot. Go find your own.”

“No,” Whisp replied, pulling a large flask out from beneath her cloak. She popped the top off and took a long swig from it. After a moment, she held it out to Delph. He blinked, then took it.

He took a quick sniff and wrinkled his nose in distaste. Delph took a drink and his eyes widened slightly. He took another sip, then handed it back.

“That’s a lot better than I expected.”

“I confiscated Happenstance’s pay since he’s not around to contest it,” Whisp said with a smirk. “This cost half a year of it.”

“A special occasion, then.”

“No. This is what I spend all of his money on,” Whisp replied, taking another swig. She offered the flask to Delph again, and this time he took it without hesitation. They drained it within the next minute.

“Speaking of Happenstance, where’d he run off to?” Delph asked. “I haven’t seen him since the war ended.”

“He ran off to the Wastes again,” Whisp said with a heavy sigh. “He’s looking for a new arm.”

“Can’t say I didn’t see that coming,” Delph admitted. “So why are you here?”

Whisp shrugged. “Got fed up with dealing with politics, and I needed something from you.”

“At least you’re honest about it. I’m still not doing it.”

“I haven’t even told you what it is.”

“I’m refusing on principle.”

Whisp let out a short bark of laughter. “Gods, I hate you.”

“Likewise,” Delph said. “Spit it out. What do you want?”

“We’ve got a whole year of new students that need professors,” Whisp replied. “And there are some coming in that have their fair share of talent. I don’t need it wasted by some talentless hack.”

Delph cocked an eyebrow. “You’re calling me talented?”

“Don’t milk it. I’ve already hired several new teachers that show promise.”

“Kat?”

Whisp nodded. “She’s talented.”

“Of course she is,” Delph said with a scoff. “Trained her myself.”

“I’d say you did a little more than that. Why won’t you tell anybody that she’s your daughter?” Whisp asked. “I only just found out myself. I knew you were married, but…”

“She’s not Mel’s daughter. She’s adopted,” Delph said. “And she doesn’t need me hanging over her. She needs to make her own path.”

“Don’t you think it’s been long enough? She said its been years since you last really spent time together, the war notwithstanding.”

Delph wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Are you trying to be a counselor? I don’t need family advice from an alcoholic.”

“Says the madman.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Delph admitted. “It has been a while. She’s gotten strong, but I know myself enough to know that I’m a poor influence.”

“And any of the rest of us aren’t?” Whisp asked with a chuckle. “Better a poor influence than none.”

Delph studied Whisp for a few moments. “Those students you mentioned. They any good?”

“They show some promise.”

Delph rubbed his chin. “I see. How’s their cardio?”

“Abysmal.”

Delph pushed himself off the axe. He pulled it out of the ground and slid it back into its home in its book, then snapped it shut.

“I suppose I’ll have to do something about that.”

Epilogue 2

“I’m sorry for the long wait,” Nolan said, rising from his plain wooden chair and rubbing his back. “Things have been far busier than I expected.”

“It’s no problem,” Quinlan replied, looking around the Gray’s throne room despite herself. The tall walls were covered with beautiful murals and flowing designs that were fit for a king more than a noble house.

Behind Nolan sat a huge, broken throne. It was split down the middle, and a large sword jutted out from the center of the seat, stopping anyone from ever using it as a chair. Nolan’s plain chair stood out in stark contrast the rest of the room.

“Did you not get a chance to replace your chair yet?” Alina asked.

“Alina!” Quinlan scolded. “Be polite.”

Nolan chuckled. “It’s okay. No, this chair is permanent. It’s a good chair. More than functional. The throne is there to remind me of the past. You didn’t come all this way to talk about my decorations, though. How can I help you?”

“We need a bit of a favor,” Quinlan admitted. “I’m looking for funding.”

“Funding for what?” Nolan asked.

“A new mage school!” Alina exclaimed.

Nolan choked. “What?”

“Alina, please,” Quinlan grumbled. “It’s not exactly a new mage school. That would be ludicrous.”

“Please, elaborate,” Nolan said.

“Mountain Hall is… problematic,” Quinlan said. “The way it treats students is unacceptable. The Queen doesn’t care since they produce strong mages, but it’s agony for everyone in the school. Students shouldn’t be forced to live like that.”

“I don’t disagree,” Nolan said. “But what does that have to do with starting a new school?”

“We don’t want to start a new one,” Quinlan corrected. “We want to – let’s see. How do I put this? We’re trying to–”

“Overthrow the current leadership and take control of it,” Alina said with a bright smile. “And since you did the whole takeover of house Gray, we figured you might be willing to help.”

Quinlan ran a hand through her hair and shook her head. “That’s one way to put it, I suppose.”

Nolan pursed his lips. “You realize that the Mage schools are officially funded by the Queen, right? Acting against them is making a move against her.”

“That didn’t stop you from sticking your father,” Alina said, making a stabbing motion.

Quinlan grabbed Alina and pushed her sister behind herself. “Please ignore her. We’ll just be going. Sorry.”

“Hold on,” Nolan said, raising a hand. “I know Damien trusted both of you. Are things at Mountain Hall really that bad?”

“Worse,” Quinlan said darkly. “It needs to be stopped, but I don’t want to cause you trouble with the Queen. This was a poor idea. Please forget you saw us. I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell her what we were up to.”

“Wait just a minute. What exactly did you have in mind?”

“Why?” Quinlan asked suspiciously.

“You can’t come here asking for help and then ask my why when I want to know what your plan is.”

Quinlan didn’t say anything for a few moments. Alina nudged her in the side and she relented. “Our friends Venus and Xil are currently in Mountain Hall, looking for proof that their Dean has been cheating the Queen out of taxes in addition to abusing his powers and allowing mages to be killed and stunted for the slightest issues. When we find it, we’re going to challenge the headmaster to a fight and kill him.”

“I see,” Nolan said slowly. “I was aware of the unjust conditions in Mountain Hall, but I did not know he was cheating the Queen.”

Quinlan cleared her throat. “As far as I’m aware, he isn’t.”

“Ah,” Nolan said. “I see. You’re going to falsify the evidence and kill him before anyone can prove otherwise?”

Quinlan nodded.

“You’re confident you can defeat a Dean?”

Quinlan nodded again. “Together with Xil and Venus, yes. Alina also has a powerful companion, but she isn’t well trained. If we can surprise him, I’m confident we can take him out. Rumors are that he avoided fighting the Corruption because he wasn’t confident in his own abilities.”

Nolan drummed his fingers on the sides of his legs. “I see. I’m not entirely sure this is a wise idea. Even if you could take out the Dean, the other teachers would put up a lot of resistance and I’d have the Queen breathing down my neck for insolence. This is literally a direct attack on her. If you failed to kill the Dean, he would almost certainly kill you. Alina’s companion – what is it?”

“It’s from the Plane of Darkness,” Alina said meekly. “I can’t show you him, though. He only wants to come out if he needs to fight to protect me.”

Nolan blinked. He stared at Alina, emotions washing over his face like paint over a canvas. Then he doubled over, laughing so hard that he couldn’t breathe. Quinlan and Alina glanced at each other in concern.

“I’m sorry,” Nolan said, waving his hand and wiping a mirthful tear from his face once he got control of himself. “You just reminded me of something that I heard a long time ago. I’m going to take that as a sign. I’ll help you.”

Nolan rose from his chair and extended his hand toward the throne behind him. The massive sword jutting out of it shuddered, then leapt through the air and slammed into his palm. “But you aren’t going alone to fight him. On my authority as the head of House Gray, I believe the Dean of Mountain Hall plots treason against the Queen. We will act immediately and with full force to ensure the safety of the kingdom. Any fault or consequence from our actions will fall solely on my shoulders.”

Quinlan’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? We just needed some undercover enforcement.”

“I am. You’re correct that Mountain Hall needs to be dealt with, and the Queen doesn’t have time to do it herself. It is my duty as the head of a noble house to act,” Nolan said firmly. His eyes went glassy for a moment as his mind drifted into the past. “And I’ve got a lot of favors to pay off. I think that this is a good place to start. Mountain Hall will have new leadership by dawn tomorrow.”

Epilogue 3

The ground trembled. Dark clouds hung low in the sky, lit by blood red light from below. An earthshattering roar split the air and a massive Devourer Beast reared onto its hind legs, blood pouring from a massive wound on its chest.

Mark’s sword flashed, batting away one of its huge paws as it swiped at him in an attempt to retaliate. Red mist surrounded him, the form of a ghostly demon rising in the air above him.

“Pattern Four!” Elania yelled. Golden energy gathered in a sphere in the air above the Devourer Beast, and bolts of energy rained down from it. They forced the monster to lurch to the side, granting Mark an opening for half a second.

He blurred, driving his sword into the beast’s side. The demon above him did the same, splitting the massive creature in two with a single blow. It crashed to the ground, thrashing in its death throes.

“Yes!” Elania exclaimed, jogging up to Mark. “We got it!”

“It wasn’t strong enough,” Mark muttered. “But that was better than the last one. Good job.”

Elania rolled her eyes. “Nothing will ever be strong enough for you, Mark.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re not half bad anymore,” Mark said, clapping her on the shoulder. “Next time, let’s find two Devourer Beasts.”

Elania flicked him in the forehead. “No. This was a detour, remember? We’re on a job for Princess Yui and Carson. We need to find them a Wyvern so Carson can get some armor made. He’s trying to make a good impression on the Queen.”

“I still don’t see why he isn’t getting the Wyvern himself,” Mark muttered.

“Because Princess Yui is currently trying to teach him every single aspect of how to act in Royal Court,” Elania replied with a shudder. “At least, that’s what Dredd told me when he gave me the mission. You should be thankful. After you shredded all the monsters from our last job, nobody wanted to hire us.”

Mark grunted. “As long as I’ve got you and things to kill, I don’t care.”

Elania rolled her eyes. “I can’t tell if you’re a romantic or an idiot.”

“Talented is the word I would use.”

“Well then, Mr. Talented, how about we go find that Wyvern? Let’s make a bet. If we can kill the Wyvern without completely ruining its scales, I’ll convince Dredd to spar against you again. He promised me a favor for taking this job on at such short notice.”

Marks’ eyes lit up. “Now you’re talking. Done deal. After this, we should get dinner. It’s a special occasion.”

“It is?” Elania asked, blinking. “For what?”

“It’s been two months since you realized how strong I am.”

Elania rolled her eyes. “You mean when we started dating? That had nothing to do with how strong you were. And nobody celebrates two month anniversaries.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not getting into this one again,” Elania said with a sigh. “I’m still down for dinner, though.”

“You should have just said that from the start,” Mark said, shaking his head. “I still don’t get people. Everyone should spend a few years lost in the wilderness to get their brains working right.”

“Wyvern,” Elania reminded Mark.

“Right. Let’s go kill stuff.”

Epilogue – 4

“It’s going far smoother than I had expected,” Dredd said, nursing the cup of tea before him. “I had no idea Whisp and Delph could actually get along. It’s… concerning to watch, to say the least.”

Hilla laughed. “Maybe Dove is finally ready to settle down again. He certainly needs someone to try to tone him down a little.”

“I don’t think anyone can control my brother,” Dredd said, taking another sip from his cup. “This tea is delicious, by the way. I can’t say how much I’ve missed your cooking. It’s the only thing on the frontlines I actually enjoyed.”

Hilla smiled at him from across the kitchen. “I’ve already told you this, but you’re welcome to come by any time. It’s been too long, and the house feels so much emptier than normal.”

“Ah,” Dredd said, savoring the word for a moment. He cleared his throat, glancing around the kitchen. “So, are you and Stormsword–”

“Derrod is no longer allowed in this house or city,” Hilla said flatly. She poured some batter from a bowl into a pan, then glanced back at Dredd. “I believe he’s off with the Queen. I had our marriage annulled. I’ve heard that she’s reconsidering her trust in him after that debacle during the war, and good riddance. That pathetic excuse for a man was not the man I thought I knew.”

“I shouldn’t have brought up bad memories,” Dredd said. “I apologize. I did not mean to cause you discomfort.”

“Don’t you fret about it,” Hilla said with a dismissive wave. “Honestly, with how little Derrod was home, I haven’t really been married for years.”

Dredd nodded absentmindedly. “Yes. I suppose it must be a relief to some degree. I’m certain you’ll have no trouble finding someone far more deserving of your care.”

Hilla cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, I think you’re quite right. I’ll have no trouble at all.”

Dredd finished his cup of tea and sighed in satisfaction. “I still don’t understand how you can make leaf water taste this good.”

“Perhaps you’ll never know,” Hilla replied. She glanced out the window, then turned to the stove and slid the pancake she’d just finished off onto a small stack. “Forgive me, but I have a meeting that I have to get to. They should be arriving shortly.”

“Of course,” Dredd said, pushing his chair back and rising to his feet. “Thank you for having me again. I have far too little interaction with people I can tolerate these days.”

“I know what you mean,” Hilla said with a wry grin. “Same time next week?”

“I would be honored,” Dredd said with a smile. “Take care of yourself.

A portal snapped open behind him and he stepped into it, vanishing from her kitchen. No more than a few moments later, a streak of black energy carved through the air. It split open, and a man emerged from within it.

He wore tarnished black metal armor and a ragged black cloak. Glowing purple tattoos covered all the open skin on his body, and faint wisps of Void energy curled off his body and rose into the air like smoke.

Hilla set the stack of pancakes down on the table, then topped them with a handful of blueberries. The man extended a hand and a small portal opened in the air. A tiny black tendril wormed out from within it, snagging two of the pancakes and pulling them through.

“For Sylph,” Damien explained. “They’re watching things for a bit.”

“Tell them I said thank you. I’m glad you could make it.”

“As am I. We’ve got a lot to catch up on, mom.”