Elder Pumpkin Pie (5e) (Patreon)

Happy Holiday to everyone who has the day off. As is my wont, I am presenting a celebration-themed monster, in the vein of the Green Bean Casserole Talos and Gelatinous Cylinder (part two, part three). And LIKE those silly things, this is a collaboration with the amazing Stan! Go check out his page for more of his amazing cartooning!

This entry is for 5e, but if there’s enough interest, I can release versions for other game systems.

Elder Pumpkin Pie

Devious mastermind dessert

Habitat: Kitchens and Dining Rooms    Treasure: None

The unfortunate and accidental result of a child waiting for the Great Pumpkin in a pumpkin patch, the mighty Pumpking Gourd showing up, and the child’s mother then harvesting that elder near-deity to make a desert. An Elder Pumpkin Pie is a simmering, ever-hot dish of malicious planning and unlucky dining events. Its aura can ruin a holiday meal, and presents no sign of its machinations until it is attacked. At that point the seemingly ordinary dessert sprouts four viny tentacles, one capped with a leering jack-o-lantern lit from within by an evil, unearthly glow.

(Amazing Elder Pumpkin Pie art by Stan!)

Elder Pumpkin Pie

Tiny Construct, Chaotic Evil

AC 12      Initiative +4 (14)

HP 27 (6d8)

Speed 5 feet

Str 10 (+0)      Dex 10 (+0)      Con 10 (+0)

Int 13 (+1)       Wis 13 (+1)      Cha 14 (+2)

Vulnerabilities Slashing (Because it’s a pie. Get it?!)

Immunities Poison; Charmed, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Unconscious

Traits

Not This Argument Again! Wisdom Saving Throw: DC 15, Arguments and fights naturally break out at meals near this diabolical dessert. Failure: Creatures within the same structure as the Elder Pumpkin Pie (or within 100 feet if the pie is outside) who are eating or drinking have Disadvantage on all Charisma (diplomacy) checks until they finish eating or leave the affected area.

Piping Hot. Constitution Saving Throw: DC 11, Any creature that damages the Elder Pumpkin Pie with a bite attack and fails their save is unable to make bite attacks, eat food, or drink potions for 1d6 minutes.

The Salmon Mousse! Every 10 + 1d6 minutes, the aura of the Elder Pumpkin Pie causes something at a nearby meal or festivity (within range of Not This Argument Again!) to go wrong. Roll on the When Food Goes Bad table below to determine each mishap.

When Food Goes Bad

1.      Mysteriously spoiled. One plate of food looks fine, smells fine, but tastes spoiled and will discomfort anyone who eats it for 1d6 hours.

2.      Dropped knife. Random diner takes 1 HP.

3.      Spilled Gravy. Random diner gets covered in some messy food sauce. If they have not previously failed their save against Not This Argument Again, they must make a new save with Disadvantage.

4.      No Seconds Until Everyone Gets a Serving. One random food item disappears entirely from all serving platters, and amounts of that food already on diners’ plates double.

5.      Whoever Smelt It. An extremely unpleasant odor emanates from directly between two adjacent diners selected at random.

6.      Fly In The Soup. One random diner finds a dead bug in their food.

7.      Oversalted. One food item on one random diner’s plate is always heavily oversalted.

8.      Belch. If there is a diner with a breath weapon (choose randomly if there is more than one), it must succeed at a DC 15 Constitution save. If it fails, it feels a growing urge to use the breath weapon. After 1d4 rounds, if the diner has not used the breath weapon by choice, it happens involuntarily, targeting a random area emanating from the diner. If no one has a breath weapon, a random diner must succeed at the save or belch so loudly it can be heard up to 60 feet away.

Actions

Vine Lash. Melee Attack Roll +3. Reach 10 feet. Hit: 3 (1d4+1) Bludgeoning damage. If the target is a Large or smaller creature it has the Grappled condition (escape DC 11) from one of three tentacles, and it has the Restrained condition until the grapple ends.