Steve Chapter 885: Let's Show them What's Hell! (Patreon)

Seeing the rubble explode skyward under the force of some unknown power, Tubalcain Alhambra’s expression shifted drastically.

He’d studied the Valentine Brothers’ attack on Hellsing HQ in detail, having gotten hold of their combat data. Although they’d failed, their fight logs had been preserved. From this, he’d learned a bit about the two targets’ abilities.

If the intel was right…

Alucard’s regeneration was apparently off the charts.

Luke Valentine’s attacks had no real effect on him, and Alucard also carried a massive handgun with tremendous firepower—enough to kill a typical vampire with a single shot.

But that mysterious man named Wang Zhaosheng…

Information on him was sparse.
What they did know was that his physical durability was terrifying, immune to bullets, and he could launch massive flame attacks.

According to intel stolen from Hellsing HQ, they suspected he might be a legendary “dry corpse,” the “Drought Demon” who commanded fire and left nothing but scorched land in his wake.

Armed with this intel, Tubalcain had altered his plan on the fly.

He’d already tricked local government officials into dispatching the army to wear down Alucard’s special bullets. Then he’d step in for a one-on-one duel. But that Wang Zhaosheng was just too strange—invulnerable to bullets, plus that wide-area “fire” attack. After some thought, Tubalcain decided: might as well blow up the entire hotel, bury them both in the debris.

Even if that wouldn’t kill them, they’d be stuck underground, unable to use large-scale flame attacks, and they’d surely be injured. Then he’d pick them off at his leisure.

A flawless plan, or so he’d thought…

“Dammit, what is—”

Tubalcain, face grim, stared into the distance.
The former hotel ruins were now flattened—every last fragment of rubble had been blasted away. Countless chunks of concrete, rebar, and internal furnishings rained down across several city blocks like a meteor shower. Screams rose everywhere as people fled in panic.

Aside from the coerced special forces, the only ones still onsite were the journalists.

“…”

Witnessing such a reality-warping phenomenon, Tubalcain’s face flickered between shock, fury, and fear. Finally, he seemed to reach a decision.

He retreated back into the command tent.

“Wh-what—Mr. Alhambra?”

Inside, local officials were startled. “Weren’t you going out to deal with those two enemies yourself?”

“Change of plans.”

Tubalcain forced an air of composure. “They must be wielding some Hellsing weapon. Have the soldiers probe their abilities first. And remember: if anything happens to me, you’ll never reach the promised immortality we discussed. Understand?”

They all quickly nodded, anxious to please. “We’ll order the troops to attack immediately…”

Meanwhile, off in the newly-leveled zone:

“So they did blow it up,”

Fang Mo remarked casually, brushing dust from his shoulder. “Good thing this is South America—if we were in Japan, I’d think I was stuck in some Holy Grail War.”

“Kukuku…”

From a swirl of shadows came Alucard, strolling out of nowhere. “A flashy move, but the work of fools. Still… what a lovely night. Madness everywhere… I almost feel like having a drink of blood.”

Even as he spoke, the sound of frantic footsteps rose in the distance. They turned to see a squad of well-armed soldiers racing over. The moment they spotted Fang Mo and Alucard, they opened fire without warning.

Their firepower wasn’t half-bad.

A rain of bullets swept the area. Fang Mo remained unaffected, but Alucard—well, his style was always extreme regeneration. In a blink, they riddled him with holes, tearing his flesh and bone to shreds until he was barely more than chunks of meat.

“The hell is this!?”

The soldiers stared at Fang Mo in horror. “Bullets aren’t hurting him at all—this guy’s a monster?!”

“Bullets?”

Fang Mo gave a short laugh. (After all, not even a nuke could scratch him.)

“Dammit! Use heavy ordnance!”

Someone shouted. Two grenades arced over, followed by a rocket-propelled warhead.

Boom! A thunderous blast swallowed Fang Mo’s figure in flame.

“Did… we get him?”

The soldiers, momentarily relieved, started to lower their weapons. But before they could radio in, a playful voice drifted out from the smoke.

“Look who decided to deliver some new health packs?”

“Wh-what!?”

Their hearts pounded as Fang Mo sauntered from the billowing smoke, unscathed. “And look at you, lying there playing dead like Fire-Fist Ace? If you’re not gonna eat, I’ll just take your portion—”

“Kukuku…”

On the ground, the gore-soaked mass that was Alucard let out a distorted laugh.

“Gah!?”

Seeing that pulpy, bullet-riddled body abruptly move, the soldiers nearly lost their minds. Only then did they realize what sort of demons they were up against.

“As a firearms assault, that was pretty decent,”
Alucard said, voice rasping through his mangled form. He rose in a hideously twisted posture, arms spreading as if savoring something. “But it’s no use. You’re just obedient dogs, while I… can only be killed by a true human.”

Even as he spoke, the blood pooled around him flowed back into his body, as though time reversed. In the span of a heartbeat, he was fully restored—clothes and all.

“Wha—”

“What the—?!”

Before the soldiers could react, Alucard lunged—“Fshaa!”—a red blur snapping forward to clamp his jaws onto one man’s throat. There was a gruesome noise of flesh tearing, and then a horrifying sound of swallowing.

In one last wrenching twist, Alucard ripped the man’s head clean off.

“Aaaaaaah!”

The rest of them froze in terror. “Shoot—shoot! Open fire!!”

But this time, Alucard wouldn’t waste his blood so easily. With wild laughter, he weaved through the screaming hail of bullets, dismembering men left and right at an inhuman pace:

A slash to decapitate.

A savage bite to drain them dry.

A single pull of his oversize handgun, blasting limbs to shreds.

Within minutes, the entire platoon was wiped out. The ground was littered with mangled corpses, a scene straight out of hell. Only one soldier remained, staggering backward in terror, face a mask of despair.

“Heh heh… so you’re the last one,”

Alucard murmured, strolling forward, mouth still dripping blood. “Decide how you want to die: like a dog, a human, or something else?”

“I—I…”

In a final moment of panic, the soldier pressed a gun to his own head.

Bang!

His skull burst like a watermelon, spraying gore onto Alucard’s face. Alucard paused, stunned that the man would choose suicide.

“You… you…”

He stood there, livid. “Coward! You dare trample your own—”

“Fun fact, Uncle Jiangshi style: the freshest blood is in the femoral artery,”

Fang Mo interjected with a lazy tone. “So as a vampire, you should bury your face around their crotch. That’s the tastiest.”

“You think I’m in the mood for jokes?”
Alucard snarled, still angered.

“Don’t act like you’re the only one in a bad mood,”

Fang Mo retorted, palms up. “I just lost my brand-new mod at the last second. I need to vent, too… how about we fight each other here and wipe this city off the map? Have you ever been whacked by a meteor?”

“Think I’m not tempted?”

Alucard’s grin turned cruel. “But I have to obey my Master’s orders, so I’m holding back—”

“Hah! I told you, you’re whipped.”

Fang Mo sounded almost disappointed.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Alucard scoffed. “Or maybe you will someday. Hmph… but once that day comes, maybe… you won’t be so pathetic anymore?”

“Dude, you swallowing the Riddler over in Gotham or something?”

Fang Mo snapped, rolling his eyes. “We might not be human, but can’t we speak normally?”

Before he could say more, a sudden sound of applause rang out around them.

A figure in a brown suit stepped from the shadows, clapping slowly as he walked.

“Good, good!”

He grinned. “Evening, gentlemen! The name’s Tubalcain Alhambra. But my friends call me… oh, let’s say ‘Pretty Boy.’ How would you two prefer to address me?”

“Huh?”

Alucard’s eyes narrowed, then he let out a low chuckle. “So you finally showed yourself. I was starting to think you’d hide forever.”

Alucard raised his gun at once. “Well, ‘Pretty Boy,’ guess it’s time to say goodbye!”

“Wait!”

Fang Mo suddenly stopped him and turned to Tubalcain. “I’ll give you a chance to live. Interested?”

“…What?”

Tubalcain paused. “Explain.”

“Look, I’ve got this… quirk,”

Fang Mo said, looking somewhat embarrassed. “I have a weird weakness for young boys. You might not believe it, but the moment I saw that Lieutenant Schrödinger, I was smitten. If you’d let him come hang out with me, I’d happily beat up Alucard for you.”

“...Huh?”

Tubalcain was dumbstruck. Alucard also froze, his brow creasing as old memories of childhood trauma threatened to surface, fueling a murderous aura.

After a tense second, Tubalcain forced a laugh.

“Heh, you’re quite the comedian. But sorry—our orders are dead serious. Won’t be long before you learn that… when you’re all just lab rats for Millennium.”

“Oh, you call me the comedic one—yet you’re still the braggart?”

Alucard scoffed, flashing Tubalcain a pitying gaze. “Just you against us?”

“I won’t be alone, of course.”

Tubalcain smirked, motioning behind him. With a rumble of engines, more elite soldiers appeared, plus armored vehicles and helicopters—a full local force at his command. “Heh heh, you face—”

“Chibaku Tensei.”

Tubalcain never finished.

Fang Mo curled his fingers, and in an instant, soldiers, vehicles, helicopters, plus debris, gravel, and the remains of the city block all flew skyward—crushed together by an invisible hand. Blood sprayed from between the gaps as the entire force was annihilated in seconds.

“F-F-Fuck… Wh-What are you?!”

Tubalcain’s ‘composed’ facade shattered as he stared wide-eyed. “What sort of abomination are you?!”

“Still won’t accept my offer?”

Fang Mo shrugged, weirdly calm. “Staying alive’s pretty sweet, right, pretty boy? All you have to do is let me see Schrödinger. Then I’ll flatten Alucard for you. Seriously—”

“You… you bastard!”

Furious, Tubalcain flicked a playing card from his sleeve. “Just die, dammit!”

The card sliced through the air with a sonic crack, slicing a trench in the ground all the way toward Fang Mo’s face, as if it could tear him in two. Yet Fang Mo simply reached out and grabbed it midflight, crushing it to shreds.

“So we can’t negotiate, huh.”

Fang Mo sighed. “You gamblers never do catch a break…”

With that, he slapped Alucard on the shoulder.
“Ready? Let’s show him hell.”