Steve Chapter 886: Fine, Fine, Fine... (Patreon)

“You two…”

Tubalcain Alhambra’s face grew dark at Fang Mo’s casual words.

“Kukuku, interesting.”

Alucard, by contrast, looked more excited than tense. Hearing Fang Mo’s suggestion made him flash a terrifying grin: “Millennium… a gang of maniacs no one can comprehend, yes? Heh heh heh. If it’s them, then a two-on-one is perfectly reasonable.”

“How about we be systematic?”

Fang Mo added with a laugh, pulling out a massive purple blade. “You take one half of him, I take the other. You want top or bottom?”

“Left and right, perhaps.”

Alucard smiled carelessly. “I’ll handle his left side personally… kukuku, don’t worry—I’ll make him squeal like a pig.”

“D-don’t get too cocky!”

Tubalcain couldn’t hold his anger any longer. He realized that if he kept waiting, he’d be giving them too much time to set the pace, so he leaped into action. Pulling out a deck of cards, he performed a swift flourish, then flung a dozen razor-sharp playing cards at them with a flick of his wrists.

They came hurtling at incredible speed, silver streaks in midair.

The displaced air carved furrows in the ground. Despite being mere paper, the cards carried destructive force comparable to—or greater than—an anti-materiel sniper round.

Alucard laughed manically and dodged with swift footwork.

Fang Mo didn’t bother to dodge at all, letting the cards hit him directly. They shattered on contact, releasing bursts of kinetic force and kicking up clouds of dust.

Seeing an opening, Alucard immediately raised his massive handgun and squeezed off a round at Tubalcain.

Notably, besides his usual silver-and-white “Casull,” he now had a second weapon: a giant black pistol. Although outwardly similar, this black “Jackal” boasted far greater power; each shot could level an area with a mini-explosion. In the original story, this was the custom firearm made specifically to fight Father Anderson. It held only six rounds per magazine, but each shot was absurdly destructive—enough to obliterate a tank, let alone a mere vampire.

“Gives me a total Devil May Cry Dante vibe…”
Seeing Alucard dual-wield pistols, Fang Mo felt an irrational urge to grab a seat and watch.

“Hmm?!”

Tubalcain noticed Fang Mo’s commentary. Glancing in Fang Mo’s direction, his face darkened. “What on earth is with this man’s defense…?”

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Alucard kept firing at Tubalcain, preventing him from thinking too much.

“Focus on the fight, ‘Pretty Boy.’” Alucard snarled gleefully. “Show me your insanity, then entertain me with your screams!”

“You think I’d ever scream?”

Tubalcain scoffed. He had decided on a plan: deal with Alucard first, absorb his blood, boost his own powers, then tackle that monstrous Wang Zhaosheng. The Major’s orders were absolute—there was no turning back.

Tubalcain deliberately showed an opening.
Alucard took the bait, firing a bullet straight through Tubalcain’s neck. Blood spurted everywhere.

But before Alucard could follow up, Tubalcain’s body suddenly fragmented into a flurry of playing cards swirling through the air.

“Huh?”

Alucard paused. “What is this…?”

Almost immediately, more cards sliced in from behind, accurately hitting Alucard’s spine, heart, and neck. Blood sprayed as the impacts flung him forward onto the ground.

“Haha, gotcha!”

Tubalcain grinned, seizing the chance to deliver a finishing blow—until a large hand abruptly clamped onto the right side of his face. The grip was so powerful his skull creaked under the pressure.

“D-dammit!”

Tubalcain’s eyes widened. “When did you—?!”

“Just now.”

Fang Mo gave him a teasing look. “Ready? Let’s enjoy a little taste of hell.”

At that moment, Alucard struggled to his feet again.

Perhaps he’d triggered his “restriction release,” because his outfit had changed: no red coat, just a black, tight, leather-like binding. Dark, viscous shadows swirled around him. The malevolent aura rolling off him was immeasurable—a pure malice brewed from countless dead souls.

“You…”

Tubalcain’s pupils shrank. He could see that Alucard’s fatal wounds had vanished for no apparent reason. Which shouldn’t be possible.

No chance to react further.

Alucard lunged in a blur, stomping down hard.

With a wet crunch, Tubalcain’s left knee exploded, blood flying as the joint bent backward in a grotesque angle.

“G—gahaaaa!!!”

Agony overcame him. Tubalcain struggled desperately, but Fang Mo’s crushing grip pinned his head in place. In a wild attempt at resistance, he snatched up a card with his free hand and slashed wildly at Fang Mo. “D-die—!”

“Oh, sure.”

Fang Mo let go. Then, in the same motion, he swung his “Mayuling Cleaver” at Tubalcain’s hand.

“Yes, yes!”

Alucard, laughing maniacally, brought his own arm down in a slicing gesture. “Squeal like a pig for me!”

In a split second, Tubalcain tried to retaliate with another card.

He aimed both arms simultaneously—trying to tackle Alucard and Fang Mo together.

Of course, the outcome was obvious.
Even though he pushed himself to the limit, snapping his cards forward with supersonic force, it was only enough for the briefest stalemate.

The next second, Alucard’s hand sliced through his playing cards while Fang Mo’s cleaver cut deep from the other side. Both attacks simultaneously pierced Tubalcain’s last desperate block, running down along both of his arms.

Hands, wrists, forearms, elbows…

His limbs were split from the middle, blood spurting in every direction. For a moment, the parted flesh still clung by a thread, creating the macabre illusion of him having four arms.

“Guaaaaaah!!!”

Tubalcain collapsed backward, screaming inhumanly.

Alucard burst into a triumphant laugh, grabbing the man’s head like a prized trophy.

“Now, I’ll fulfill my purpose. Spill everything you know.”

With a wicked smirk, Alucard bared his fangs. “Let your life complete this task!”

Without further ado, he bit into Tubalcain’s throat.

“Hey, hey, didn’t I tell you to start at the femoral artery?”

Fang Mo clicked his tongue in mock disappointment. But Alucard paid no heed, gulping down Tubalcain’s blood—along with his will, his mind, and his memories. They became part of him.

A vision flooded Alucard’s consciousness:
Under a massive black-and-red banner, a throng of uniformed figures stood in neat lines. In front, a short, plump man with a terrifying aura.

A human, but no less monstrous than an undead—someone who radiated an insane obsession, on par with Alucard’s own.

“So that’s it, heh heh…”

As Tubalcain’s body was consumed by flame, turning to ash, Alucard let loose a howling laugh. “War! It’s a lunatic war waged by these maniacs!”

“War? The hell are you talking about?”

Fang Mo clapped the ash from his hands.

“Kill the enemy, kill your allies, kill the people you should protect, kill the land you should govern, and finally kill yourself,”

Alucard muttered, staring into the moonlit sky with wild glee. “And yet… it’s never enough. The Major… yes, we’re the same type of incurable lunatics. Madmen enthralled by war.”

“Sure! Let’s desecrate war together, ‘dirty it up’ real good,”

Fang Mo chimed in. “Heck, if War’s already unclean, we can call in Shinji Ikari for a cameo—maybe they can shake hands.”

“What nonsense…”

Alucard turned, frowning at Fang Mo.

“It’s your style, right?” Fang Mo shrugged. “Since you like cryptic phrases so much, I figured I’d join in. Think you’re more cryptic than me? I can say ‘Terra da di—’—”

Before he could finish, the distant whirr of helicopter rotors cut him off.

“Ugh, are they back again?”

Fang Mo scowled, raising a hand. “CNM Black Mamba’s might—!”

“Uncle Jiangshi—stop! Don’t fire!”

A voice shouted anxiously through the wind. Peering out, Fang Mo saw Seras perched at the door of a helicopter, frantically waving her arms. “Don’t shoot, it’s us!”

“…Huh?”

Recognizing Seras, Fang Mo slowly lowered his hand.

“Hurry, we gotta go!”

Bernardo, the mercenary captain, also leaned out, shouting over the noise. “The army’s swarming in! We won’t last if we stay!”

“Kukuku…”

Alucard smirked. “Good, so they haven’t been idle either.”

“So what’s it going to be?”

Fang Mo stowed his blade. “Keep wrecking stuff or head out? Didn’t you absorb Tubalcain’s memories? Can we just go straight to the Major’s base?”

“No use,”

Alucard replied. “That base was abandoned long ago. They’ve moved everything aboard a zeppelin. By the time we arrive, they’ll be gone. They definitely accounted for my abilities, so having Tubalcain come here was just to stall for time.”

“Ugh, so annoying,”

Fang Mo muttered, rubbing his temple. “I’m tempted to just open the console and crush them. Are you sure you’re not worried?”

“You’re that desperate to find them?”

Alucard asked, sensing Fang Mo’s serious tone. “Isn’t it more fun to clash with them repeatedly, like a dance under the full moon…?”

“I’m usually all about fun,”

Fang Mo sighed. “But I’ve got a bad feeling about Schrödinger.”

And indeed, Fang Mo felt an uneasy tension, a nagging sense of urgency he rarely experienced. Something about Schrödinger’s mod… felt crucial. Like a subconscious instinct. He couldn’t explain it, but it was growing stronger.